Monthly Archives: September 2007

Great day yesterday – until after quiet time…

and that’s when it got worse. I went to check on Alli – well, to get her up from quiet time – and she had played with her poopy again. *sighs* This time it was smeared into the carpet. We had a talk, I cleaned her up, cleaned up the poopy, and she was quarantined in her room for the rest of the afternoon.

I fixed charlotte’s dinner, got her up, fed her, and we played. Charlotte is quite a little character and we had a blast! About 45 min after I got Charlotte up, I started to smell something funny but couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. Something told me to go check on Alli. She had gotten ahold of the fondue pot that I had forgotten about (her room is right off the kitchen) and proceeded to spill the oil in her room. (Yes, it was cool) but um, what a MESS. I put Charlotte to bed and proceeded to give Alli a bath. I ended up scrubbing her carpet with dish detergent and hot hot water. The spot is still there today but we’ll be borrowing the IL’s carpet cleaner this weekend so hopefully it will get it out completely. *sighs* What a nightmare.

I can’t wait until therapy tomorrow….and every time we let it go for two weeks, things don’t go well for me. UGH!

Have to share this…

I know that I’ve mentioned our second daughter was born with a cleft palate and spent some time in the NICU. While she is now free of most artificial attachments (she still has tubes in her ears), every day is a new day with her – she will be 18 months old this month and is still not speaking. Babbling, yes, but not talking. I also still have to feed her because if we let her feed herself, she will eat entirely too much and gag/choke. I also have to balance the fine line between too much food and not enough food. She is a bottomless pit, something I attribute to her being primarily tube fed for the first six months of her life. And this is beyond the normal baby care. Alot of mothers do more, and a lot do less. But for me, it’s my new normal. I check her mouth whenever she is teething to make sure there’s not one popping through the roof of her mouth.

All that being said, I still belong to an email group for parents of children with PRS (Pierre Robin Sequence/syndrome). Today, one of the moms sent a precious email. I will warn you – it made me cry. And I am not a crier. This one really hit home with me and I needed to read it. I LOVE how things like this that you need to read pop up right when you need them to!

So this is for mothers of handicapped/special needs kids – Know that you are amazing.

Some women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressure and a couple by habit.This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation.As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger. “Armstrong, Beth, son… Patron Saint, Matthew” “Forrest, Marjorie, daughter… Patron Saint, Cecillia” “Rudledge, Karen, Twins… Patron Saint… give her Gerard, he is used to profanity.”

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles, “Give her a handicapped child.” The angel is curious, “Why this one, God? She is so happy.” “Exactly,” smiled God. “Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel.” “But has she got patience?” asked the angel. “I don’t want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she’ll handle it. I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother.

You see, the child I am going to give her has his own world. She has to make the child live in her world and that is not going to be easy.” “But Lord, I don’t think she even believes in You.” God smiled, “No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness.” The angel gasped, “Selfishness? Is that a virtue?” God nods. “If she can’t seperate herself from the child ocassionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn’t realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a “spoken word.” She will never consider a “step” ordinary. When her child says “Momma,” for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or sunset to a blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creation. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see… ignorance, cruelty, prejudice… and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing My work as surely as if she were here by My side.” “And what about her Patron Saint?” asked the angel, his pen poised in mid air. God smiles, “A mirror will suffice.”

Today is Italian day!

I will be starting up the Italian cooking shortly after the girls go down for quiet time. I can’t wait… I bought ricotta yesterday, don’t really feel up to making it from scratch. I also made sure to buy some parm. we’ve been out and it’s been killing me to eat pasta without parm! And no, I am not Italian – I just grew up in New Jersey – on the east coast and well, there’s a LOT of italian restaurants there and I was raised on the stuff! I could eat Italian all day if given the opportunity. YUM YUM YUM! Bring on the garlic!

As far as my mood, it’s been weird lately. Up and down – Chris has been a little off too though. Don’t know if it’s the weather or what – it FINALLY started to rain. I think my mood can be attributed to being stuck at home all day. The past week I’ve been queasy too so I’m sure that hasn’t helped – and then there’s the whole pelvic pain thing. I’m feeling kind of BLAH. I think tomorrow morning after breakfast, I’ll put the girls into the stroller and we’ll go for a walk. I don’t know how far we’ll walk – probably not that far considering my pelvic pain, but who knows, maybe it will help. Wait a sec – I’ve got PT in the morning. So probably not the best idea to do tomorrow morning. Just have to wait and see.

Ok, OUCH. Alli just cannonballed a beanie baby poodle at me. Can I say OUCH again??? OUCH! She’s now whining and fussing b/c she’s in time out. I warned her not to throw it hard and she failed to listen. Typical three year old, right? *sighs & rubs chin* Beanie Babies are lethal weapons!

Craving Smells??

I am craving a smell. The way my grandmother’s house smelled when she would make her homemade manicotti. I don’t have the recipe… she passed away before I even started high school, long before cooking became a passion of mine. I wish I had the recipe. I wish she were still here… To this day though, I make my manicotti like hers – fresh, homemade crepes instead of pasta, well, that’s about it. I remember that much. The filling is usually fresh homemade ricotta (yes, I know how to do that, it’s really not that hard), and I make a lovely homemade roasted red pepper marinara to go with it. If I’m feeling absolutely ambitious, I make fresh lasagna noodles too. I’d like to learn how to make homemade mozzarrella but I haven’t had the chance (or the guts) to do that yet. I have a feeling that I will be making lasagna this week – don’t have the energy (or back strength) to do manicotti. I could live off Italian food – for life. Give me some pasta, some marinara, and some decent parm and I’d be in heaven. Yeah, I know there’s other italian food out there, it’s not all pasta – but me, I’m in love with pasta. Which is why I would fail oh so miserably on a low-carb diet. My pasta usually goes with french bread and full on full fat butter. (hey, at least we KNOW what’s in butter, right?) YUM!

Yeah, I foresee a trip to the grocery store this evening… and tomorrow is NOT going to be a labor free day. I’ll be stinking the house up with delicious italian aromas!

Dear God, make the excrutiating pain go away! (please?)

PT yesterday went pretty well. Had a new therapist, didn’t much like her at first but I got her to warm up. She had me do some new exercises and I didn’t get to rest as much in the deep end though. :-( I did fine yesterday… today has been a whole ‘nother story though.

At 420a this morning, I woke up and had to go to the bathroom. I attempted to roll over… and I winced. Loudly. It took me 10 minutes to get out of bed and one of the options I contemplated was just going right there – yes, it hurt that badly. I finally crossed my ankles, squeezed my thighs together, pulled my body pillow out, and rolled over onto my back. I managed to roll over to my right side and sit up, wincing and crying the whole way. My first step almost caused me to fall – the pain was even more intense once I tried to bear weight. I held onto the bed almost the whole way out of the room (we have a small room). Once out, it took me another five minutes to get to the bathroom. I didn’t return until about 10 minutes later – process & travel time included. Once I managed to get back into bed (which was a LOT easier than getting out, and I laid on my right side this time so I wouldn’t have to roll over to get out, just sit up), it took me nearly 30 minutes to fall asleep. I didn’t take any tylenol because in my past experience, tylenol doesn’t help.

I’ll be purchasing a wedge pillow here pretty shortly so I can sleep on my back – and I need to get a maternity support belt as well but at this point we can only afford one or the other and being that I tend to go out of alignment during sleep, it’s more important to me that I address that issue first. Chris stayed home today to help with the girls – he was getting ready to go to work when I woke up and I burst into tears when I realized he was going to work – there was just no way I was going to be able to handle the girls on my own with the amount of pain I was experiencing. We really can’t afford for him to take a day off and I certainly wouldn’t have asked unless it was absolutely necessary.

I did end up partially popping back into place – only to take a nap and completely undo the progress I had made. UGH! Alli has been adorable about the whole thing – she keeps asking if my pelvis is owwy. Makes me smile at least – even if I am gritting my teeth behind my grin.