A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, mothers had help. Entire villages came together to support a new mother after she gave birth. Not one mother was left to her own devices to earn her “brand new I can do all this on my own because I’m a badass” badge. Nope. Not one.
Today, however? Particularly here in the United States, where we are LAST for Maternal Health in developed countries? Dude. Don’t even get me started.
Where is all of this coming from, you might ask? A few weeks ago, I had an interaction with an elderly couple out at a local festival with their granddaughter who was young enough to still need a stroller. Grandpa was trying to fold the stroller up as they waited for their transportation to arrive. He held his granddaughter in his arms and struggled with the stroller with his free arm.
I felt his pain and offered to hold her, if that wasn’t a weird question and it would be okay.
Grandma chimed in and said “Oh, no, it’s not – in our generation, we wouldn’t even think twice about it, plus you have a child with you,” as she motioned to my fiance’s daughter.
I felt like I’d been hit by a ton of bricks.
We wouldn’t even think twice about it….
When did we START thinking about the awkwardness of asking for help? Why did we stop? When did it become NOT okay to accept the help of those around us? Why must we do motherhood on our own? To prove we’re all badasses who can do it all? How’s that working out for us? (It has never worked out for me).
I need my tribe. Even if they’re online. I need SOME sort of a tribe to keep me going, to share my struggles and my victories with – exactly what this post, It Takes a Village to Raise a Mother by Annie Reneau at Motherhood & More says:
“No one understands the challenges of motherhood like other moms. No one can help a mom who is having a fragile, frazzled moment better than a mom who understands being fragile and frazzled. I adore my husband, and he’s extraordinarily supportive, but there are some things he just can’t “get.” So when I need mom commiseration, I talk to my mom friends. Sometimes the sweetest words a mother can hear are, “I feel you, sister.” Or “Yep, me too.” Or, “Let’s have some coffee and regroup.”
Motherhood. It isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s also not meant to be done alone.
Join me tonight at #PPDChat as we explore the nuances of our village, why they’ve disappeared, and how to step out of our comfort zones to mother each other.
See y’all at 9pm ET!