Monthly Archives: January 2008

Mornin’

Cameron officially has a nighttime routine!

 YAY!

I got up with him twice last night. He goes to bed around 10p, wakes up at 1, 4, and then 7. Wooohoooo!

I like the time he wakes up because I will get him up, change him, then take him into the living room to nurse. No one else is awake yet so it’s “my” time even though yes, I have a baby attached to me. Once I lay him back down, I take the dogs out before getting the girls up so more “me” time.

I am definitely adjusting to the new routine.

 As for the emotional aspect – my OB added Wellbutrin to my Lexapro and I am happy to say that it seems to be working so far. Of course, I just started it yesterday so we’ll have to see. I am supposed to be going today to get my Mirena placed. No more lil babies for us – and that does make me sad in a way but then again, I know that there’s just no way I could handle another pregnancy and we’re tight enough financially as it is right now. So I’m doing the responsible thing and getting the birth control on the right path.

Gotta run, he just finished nursing so now it’s time for my morning freeze. :-)

Come on in, have a cup of tea – Let’s Chat!

So this month has not been the best month of my life.

First, the car breaks down. (and no, we still don’t have it back!)

Second, my husband attempted to put my christmas money on a debit card so I could buy some nursing bras and whatever else I wanted to…. and I purchased $160 worth of nursing bras (6 of them!) and nearly $35 worth of tea from a great place (Harney & Sons – I’m such a tea snob now!) only to discover that the money was never put on the card. Not my husband’s fault – the company who does the card never put it on there. I’m now on week two of waiting for them to fix the problem. In the meantime, i’m stuck in camisoles with built in bras and a sports bra. I had purchased a nursing tank BUT can’t use it because it causes me to have plugged ducts. URGH.

Third, thrush has returned. I am now on an Anti-Candida diet which pretty much bites because it’s a no-carb diet. It’s forcing me to really think outside of the box when preparing my meals but it’s also helping me to realize how to eat healthier, something I wanted to do anyways so I guess that’s a bonus.

Fourth – I had a reallllllllly bad day Thursday. Intrusive thoughts, exhausted, snapping at everyone for anything, just really angry and easily irritable. I tried to call my OB on Friday for the thrush & the bad day, but they didn’t return my call. Nevermind that I called them twice and have a major history including hospitalization. I haven’t called back yet because I am still pissed they didn’t call me and don’t really want to end up sounding like a pissy patient on the phone instead of an intelligent self-advocating patient. I will probably call back later today. I guess what really gets me about this is that I CHOSE this physician because of his office’s reputation for dealing with PPD – it was a very positive one and I knew that I had the potential of needing great care in the postpartum period.

I’ve since gotten a ton of sleep since Thursday so I am feeling better but still plan on calling the OB to let them know I’m having bad days (which are ok – it’s if the bad days start stringing together and you can’t remember your last good day that you should realllly start to be concerned!) and see if they can’t prescribe something that I can take “as needed” in addition to my current medication.

We’ve come up with a solution for our little Charlotte Monkey – if she doesn’t listen to us, we put her in the pack and play which is set up in the living room each morning. So far she’s only had to go in it twice and that was on the first day (Friday). However, this girl is FEARLESS. I have found her on the dining room table at least twice a day since Thursday. URGH. And to top things off, Alli keeps undressing her in the morning so Charlotte runs around naked – in the cold because Charlotte keeps turning their heater off. *sighs* Thank GOD I am able to let go of most of this stuff because if I wasn’t able to do so – yeah, I think I’d be back in the hospital. But I realize they’re just kids and this is going to happen.

Speaking of stuff happening, yesterday Alli took a header off the end of the couch behind Chris’ end table and ended up busting her lip, poor thing. One second she was reaching for the remote and the next, I saw her little feet flying through the air and she was screaming. I unlatched Cameron and rescued her. She got an ice pop for her lip and was quite content thereafter. She’s been having a really clumsy week and I think it’s because she’s going through a growth spurt. I feel sorry for her but it’s like watching America’s Funniest Videos. You know you SHOULDN’T want to laugh when someone gets whacked in the nuts or falls face first into the wedding cake and collapses the whole table while trying to dance but before you have a chance to censor yourself, a snort escapes and then it’s a full blown giggle and you feel horrible but can’t help it! Yeah, it’s been like that.

Busy Busy Busy

Wow. I had no idea that three kids would keep me so busy. I mean, I knew it would up the ante but good gracious!

Amazingly we have a family routine already and Cameron is barely a month old. Cameron on the other hand is blissfully ignorant of this routine to a certain degree as this past weekend we had a marathon nursing session that lasted 48 hours. I couldn’t put him down without him screaming – he wouldn’t take the paci either. Only Mama! I think the ring stayed on one hand the whole weekend because it was pointless to keep switching it with him nursing so much. The thrush has pretty much disappeared – now if we could just get his diaper rash to clear up! It is looking much better than it did which is a positive. He’s also got the hang of latch and nursing is going much better. No more sore nipples, especially after this weekend. Thank GOODNESS because frankly, I don’t know if I could have taken the pain if it had lasted much longer!

Cameron had his first bouncer experience today. He really seemed to like it which is good – we’re trying to get him used to not being held as much so he’ll sleep in his bed. As it is now, he pretty much will only sleep on us (read: ME) and as soon as we put him down, he cries. We put a little angle pillow in his bed that we used with Charlotte and it seems to help some so I can’t help but wonder if there’s a bit of reflux going on. If there is, it’s mild as he really doesn’t spit up a lot anymore.

Charlotte has gotten to be quite vocal and is now the loudest of the three. An amazing accomplishment. Alli started dance lessons last week and seemed to really enjoy herself. We have to help her with her criss-cross applesauce sitting (aka indian style) for circle time at class. I think we’ll work on that tomorrow and Wednesday before her next class.

On a general life note, our only car died. It’s at the shop having a new engine put in as I type. I don’t know when we’ll get it back. We were planning on buying a mini-van with our tax refund and still are but the price will have to be a bit lower than we were planning on being that we now have to pay for the car to be repaired. Life. It DOES come at you fast!

Have a couple of new Allisonisms to share and both are from today. (She’s on point today!) This morning one of the dogs had an accident in the house and when Alli saw it she cried out, “POOP on the loose!” Good thing I wasn’t drinking something otherwise it would have spewed all over the place. The second one was later after Charlotte went down for quiet time. Cameron was lying on the boppy as I prepared to nurse. Alli was patting him on the head and telling him to just wait cuz mommy was getting ready to feed him. I let down my top and out toppled my breast and my brilliant 3 year old announced: “Your Food has arrived!” Again, thank GOD no liquid was involved.

Emotionally I am still intact, still on meds, no more anxiety or intrusive thoughts. I cried yesterday morning for a brief moment due to frustration with Cameron being fussy and not wanting to latch on. I was able to quickly calm myself down though. I did start back on the Omega 3.6.9’s this past weekend BUT quickly discovered I cannot take them while nursing Cameron just yet. He suddenly started to spit up quite a bit – almost projectile like and in large amounts. The Omega’s were the only new thing I had introduced to my system so to be safe, I quit taking them and he’s stopped spitting up.

Chris worked in the kitchen yesterday – cleaning, doing dishes, and taking out the trash. I am eternally grateful. I wish I could get caught up on the laundry though. I am so behind – SO SO SO behind. We have piles of clothes on the back porch that we pick through. So sad yet unfortunately a fact of life right now.

I think I might try and lie down on the couch to get a quick snooze in before everyone starts getting up around three. (And this is one part of the schedule Cameron IS familiar with. I’ve already got him napping at the same time as Charlotte. Wooohooo!) I keep taking it day by day knowing that eventually it does get easier.

Gotta run, Daughter Princess has asked me to dance with her. How on EARTH can I refuse an adorable Cinderally princess with a froggy towl draped over her head?

Nursing Ring

butterfly-ring.jpg

I have a habit when I’m nursing. I use a ring to keep up with what side I need to start on at the next feeding. With Alli, I used one of Chris’ rings. With Charlotte, well, I double pumped for her so no need for a ring. This time around I decided to treat myself to a new ring, one with symbolism. I ended up purchasing a silver butterfly ring and have been using it for a couple of days now.

A butterfly signifies growth and freedom, something I want to be reminded of all the time and when I’m constantly moving the ring or even looking at my hands, I am reminded of how far I’ve come since Motherhood first crashed into my life and I am amazed at how much differently I’m handling things this time around. I finally feel that I am the Mother I always dreamed of being and it is an amazingly empowering rush of emotion. Some days I can’t believe how strong I really am!

Bye Bye Thrush!

We are still medicating but the patches on Cameron’s tongue have dissipated and our nursing sessions are less painful. I am faithfully changing my nursing pads and using the vinegar solution a couple of times a day. We’ve added lotrimin to the mix for poor Cameron’s diaper rash. Hopefully things will continue to improve.

Cameron goes on Monday for his PKU retest. Still no explanation as to why it is needed because the office was busy when Chris called to schedule. I’m not even worrying about it anymore. Not going to until I have to….no need to add extra stress to an already full plate.

One-two punch

Punch No. 1:

I’d been hoping Cameron and I would avoid thrush; that our sore nursing sessions were due to his tight frenulum but alas; yesterday morning he had white spots on his tongue that I could NOT wipe away. So I put in a call to his ped, my OB, and we started our medicine last night. He’s on Nystatin after every feed and I took Diflucan yesterday with another dose to follow on Saturday. I am also using a vinegar solution on my nipples (it’s supposed to change the pH level and make things rather uncomfortable for yeast) as well as changing my nursing pads at every feeding. We bought Medela microwavable sterilization bags and I have Medela sterilization wipes as well and also had hubby pick up a couple more paci’s. Yesterday was really rough with Cameron – he pretty much nursed from 9pm Tuesday evening until 9pm or so last night. I seemed to be the ONLY comfort for him. Ah, the joys of breastfeeding! (I am SO grateful I can do it this time around though – so so grateful. To read what I went through with Charlotte, go here)

Punch No. 2:

Cameron’s ped’s office called Chris this morning and left a message that they need to do his PKU test again. Ugh. From what I’ve read, PKU is rare but requires very close watch on diet, etc. 1 in 10,000 people have it and retesting is more common than thought and *usually* comes out negative even with a previous positive or borderline of the newborn screening that is done at birth. I know typing I seem calm but I am a little worried because it’d just be one more thing I’d have to worry about and frankly, I don’t need anything else to worry about. I keep telling myself not to worry about it unless I need to – but putting that into practice is SO much harder than it sounds, especially when it comes to your own family! Chris is going to call the ped’s office back and find out why they need to retest and schedule the retest for tomorrow. Those of you who believe in the power of prayer as I do, please send some up for us.

Emotionally I am doing ok, considering. I’ve had a couple of intrusive thoughts but they’ve been so fleeting I couldn’t even tell you what they were about. And today I noticed some OC behaviour but it was after I found out about the need to retest for PKU so I’m pretty sure it’s related to that stress. As long as things don’t get worse and I stay on the same path I’m on now, I’ll be ok. Chris has been checking in on me, as have my mother and his mom has also been asking how I’ve been doing. Alli asked me a few days after I had been home when I was going to get sad. I laughed at her and said that hopefully I wouldn’t get sad this time around. We’ve been having wonderful ladies from the Newborn Ministry at our church delivering meals and their timing has been perfect – one of the meals was delivered yesterday and  I was SO grateful for a delicious hot meal that I hadn’t cooked! We are somewhat developing a routine but as with everything involving children, it’s flexible with little changes here and there day to day. Although I must say, I am impressed by the fact that I can get up with Cameron while he’s nursing, not break the latch, take Alli potty, and return to the couch with him still latched on; oblivious to the fact that he just traversed the house with me. Guess that’s my trick this time around. With Alli, it was eating spaghetti left handed while nursing and not dropping a single smidge of sauce. With Charlotte – well – it was pumping and getting her to nurse at all; even if just for a few seconds.

Gotta run, time for Cameron to nurse.