Monthly Archives: February 2008


Wow. The past few weeks have been insane.

First, the girls got colds.

Then Chris got the flu and I got a sore throat. (Of course by then the girls were better and lemme tell ya – sick parents + recovered kids makes for a very unbalanced household!)

We finally got our car back (YAY).

I’ve been lucky to have any time to myself during the day. The girls recently started napping again during the day – both of them in their room but I’ve been so busy with trying to keep up with (read: catch up) housework that I often times don’t get on the computer at all during the day and of course at night I am exhausted so of COURSE I am not thinking of the computer.

I’m hoping to get back into the swing of things pretty soon here.

PACE meetings haven’t been terribly successful yet either. Gotta figure out how to change that and work on my relationships with local physicians. My mom will be here in April so maybe I’ll get her to keep the kids one or two mornings while I go around town to OB’s and Ped’s offices to stick up fliers. I also have an event planned for next month here in town, a screening of two PPD documentaries that will hopefully raise awareness of PPD and of PACE in the process.

In March I will also be speaking in Atlanta at an event co-sponsored by MHA and Skyland Trail. Look for more information on this later this week. Next month is going to be very busy!

Wish I could stay longer but I am in severe need of caffeine and the girls have been absolutely horrid this afternoon. I am about to pull out the Nanny McPhee Medicine (aka blackstrap molasses).

Avocado Tuna Salad

I recently put myself on an anti-candida diet due to the thrush Cameron and I have. While I’m not being as strict, I am continuing to try and eat healthier. Today I made myself an Avocado Tuna Salad for lunch and it was absolutely delicious. I want to share the recipe with you. (I also want to mention that I normally HATE canned tuna!)

Avocado Tuna Salad

  • 1 ripe avocado
  • 1 ripe lemon
  • 1 can tuna (packed in water), drained
  • black pepper

Place tuna in bowl. Cut avocado in half, scoop one half on top of tuna. Cut lemon in half, juice half over tuna & avocado. Sprinkle some fresh ground black pepper on top if desired. Mash together with a fork. Cube other half of avocado and “sprinkle” on top. Eat. Would also be great on a wrap with dark greens, tomatoes, and julienned cucumbers.

A Dark Place

Last night, I slid a little further towards that dark hole those of us who have had PPD know a little too well. I felt as if it reached out and grabbed me, sucking me down until only a glimmer of light remained. I called my husband in tears about 10 minutes before he got off work. Not only had Cameron been nursing non-stop, he had been spitting up non-stop. When I went to get him up, his sheet was drenched and so was he. I cleaned him up best I could – in between our one and a half year old running in and out of his room and not minding me at all. In addition, as I changed Cameron’s sheets, he vomited at least three times. Alli was a charmer all day yesterday. I can’t imagine how much worse things would have been had she been misbehaving too. I let myself get angry – angry about the Nyastatin, angry that Charlotte wasn’t listening, angry that every time I called the pizza place either Cameron or Charlotte would scream. I finally called my husband and had him call in our order for us. I had already started swirling downwards by that point though – way down – and I knew it – and part of me wanted to stop it yet another part of me wanted to submit. Once my husband called in our pizza order, fresh air seemed to surround me and things started to look up. I managed to cling to the side of the dark hole and not fall too far. Once I got the girls to bed, things started to calm down. Cameron was up until 1130 – spitting up and nursing, poor thing. But he did sleep in my arms for a bit and that was blissful. In fact, it’s what calmed me down the most. Well, that and knowing Chris was here to attend to anything else that might happen. I now had support here and that was a HUGE relief.

 Today, after Chris gets off work, I will be taking the car and going to get myself  a coffee and either picking up a few groceries or getting a NY Giants shirt. (Maybe both!) I told Chris I needed some time alone today to recover from yesterday and he quickly agreed. I am going to try and pump a little bit later – there’s already 3oz in the fridge but Cameron is a hungry baby in the afternoons so I need to try and leave more than he will need.

Even though I am having bad days, the good days have outnumbered them by far – and when I have a bad day, I am able to recognize that it is nothing more than that – a bad day. I am also able to balance that with a plan to improve the next day.

My husband shared something with me today. He found an interesting tip on the internet about achieving your goals. Take a blank index card. Write positive affirmations or notes to yourself on it. Carry it with you wherever you go – look at it as needed. I think I’m going to do that – after all, writing here has helped me tremendously. I can’t imagine what carrying little positive affirmations will do for me.

A note on Cameron’s spitting up:  

Cameron’s pediatrician finally called in his Nyastatin prescription and he started it on Wednesday. Yesterday he spent most of the day spitting up and vomiting. I stopped the Nyastatin and will be using diluted Grapefruit Seed Extract instead. I have no intention of calling his pediatrician’s office because according to them, “Nyastatin shouldn’t make him spit up.” Um, well, it does, and no thanks to the nurse who actually told my husband “It shouldn’t make him spit up, just hold his mouth shut so it all stays in” Yes, we are writing a letter of complaint. Not only for that, but for the fact that we called the ped’s office on MONDAY about thrush and it took them until WEDNESDAY to call something in – and even then, they couldn’t remember what they were supposed to call in. UGH!