Tag Archives: #PPDChat

Be Well – Your WAY

I want to talk about an old childhood game tonight.

Go get your pillow, a sleeping bag, chocolate, popcorn, a stuffed animal or a doll, and slip into some cozy PJ’s. I’ll wait.

Seriously. I will.

*hums Jeopardy theme a few times*

Do you remember playing the telephone game when you were a kid?

Whispering something ridiculous into the ear of the person next to you who would then repeat it to the person next to them and so on until it got to the last person who would say it out loud?

It was never the same thing that it started as, was it?

(If it was, your friends had amazing hearing or no sense of humour).

The goal of this game is to show you how something you say can be twisted by others. It is a practice in watching what you say – thinking before you speak.

In this electronic age, it is still important to watch what you say but even more important to keep that filter in place when the keyboard and therefore the Internet is your outlet. It is easier, when you are behind a keyboard, to judge, to proffer advice, and to act as an expert.

Here’s the thing – we are all still human. We have hearts, we have brains, and we live and breath. It is difficult to remember that the personas we talk to on a daily basis through our keyboards are PEOPLE.

I have said this time and again on this blog, in my chat, in my groups, on my blog’s FB page – but I believe in treating people as adults regardless of their situation or condition. I am part of a community. I am not a dictator, I am not a medical professional, I am not at all capable of making a care decision for anyone other than myself. I find it heartbreaking when some people behave as if they are capable of making decisions for others.

Mental health is just as subjective as physical health. We all have our own baggage. However, our baggage is not a road sign for anyone but us. It does not grant us carte blanche permission to tell someone else who has articulated their own issues to a professional care giver they may want to give it a second thought. Ever.

One of the things I adore most about the #PPDChat community is their ability to function in a way that is uplifting and supportive without being judgmental regarding the treatment choices another mama needs to make for her own sanity. Not all communities are like this. I am beyond grateful the #PPDChat community embraces this concept.

The road into Perinatal Mood Valley is a steep one. The road out is curvy with plenty of blind turns and potholes. There are multiple ways out, not just one path. It is important to listen to your internal GPS as you navigate your way out of your personal darkness. Listening to someone else’s GPS will result in driving in circles as you attempt to free yourself from the mind-boggling vortex.

You can do this. You are not alone. You will be well.

Your way.

#PPDChat Topic 01.13.14: Leaving It All Behind – Embracing Emotional Minimalism

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Today’s chat will focus on a concept I introduced in a post last night, emotional minimalism. The idea behind emotional minimalism is not to be completely numb to feelings but rather to process them in a timely, mindful, and healthy manner thereby traveling light with your emotions instead of dragging a ton of unnecessary baggage along with you. 

Go read last night’s post here and get ready for a challenging chat tonight. See you at 830pm ET!

#PPDChat Topic 01.06.14: Word of the Year

One of my favourite movies this past year was Rush, directed by Ron Howard. The movie tells the tale of two Formula One drivers: Niki Lauda and James Hunt. Both driven men, passionate adversaries. The 1976 season was the height of their fight against each other.

Howard plays up not only their competitive spirit but also reflects the way these men managed to become good friends despite their fierce battles against each other on the racing circuit.

In 1976, Lauda was involved in a serious crash at Nurbergring. He suffered severe burns over a good deal of his body. His lungs were also damaged as a result of being trapped inside his car as the flames consumed it.

Six weeks later, however, Lauda was back on the track. He finished well in his first race back despite starting with blurry vision and unable to fully push himself the way he had prior to his accident.

Seeing Rush was one of the highlights of 2013, as I was able to see a preview in NYC prior to widespread release. As an avid F1 fan, getting to see Rush in an IMAX theatre and have the engine sound reverberating all around me as the cars zoomed by on the screen – sheer heaven.

I still follow the FB page for Rush. Today, they posted a still from the movie with a question:

“What will drive you in 2014?”

Several bloggers I know are choosing words to represent what will drive them in 2014. I’ve been brainstorming the past week about what my word should be for the upcoming year. I picked one a couple of days ago and it is sitting well with me so I think I will keep it.2014 word

My word for 2014 is:

 

After my divorce in 2011, I checked out of life. I stayed somewhat connected but as a reflex, I checked out. I ended up in therapy and did a lot of introspective reflection. Then I met J. I started to come out of my shell because finally, here was someone who accepted me as I stood, mess and all. No front, no bullshit, just me. Then Sandy hit and I retreated into my shell. I started the introspection thing again and stopped writing. I wasn’t ready to share my journey because heck, I wasn’t even sure where it was going.

I recently called our doctor after a particularly tough bout with darkness. I am back on medication for the time being. It is making a difference. So is my Happy Light. To be honest, so is J. It’s healthy for me to fall apart here, but it’s just as healthy for me not to – we allow each other to have emotions and do not judge for whatever they may be because well, emotion is emotion.

My goal for 2014 is to engage. To engage with others, with life, with writing, with myself. Instead of retreating back into my hole, I am going to reach out. Life begins at the end of your comfort zone according to Neale Donald Walsch. 2014 is the year I leap from my comfort zone and dive headfirst into living life.

I am challenging the ladies of the #PPDChat Community to do the same along with me – not necessarily dive out of your comfort zone but choose a word for the upcoming year. In fact, that’s what we’ll be talking about on Monday night. I’ll be discussing it in the closed FB group as well.

Get to brainstorming and I look forward to seeing all your words for 2014!!!

#PPDChat Topic 12.09.13: Redefining Happy – The Road Back After PPD

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A funny thing happens when you Google “define happy.” You get a return of millions of results. There’s a prominent definition at the top of the results which is standard if you Google “define (variable word).”

It looks like this: Define Happy Google SearchThing is, those are all words.

They don’t capture the journey one must MAKE to arrive at “carefree, radiant, joyous, beatific, contented, etc…” do they?

No.

Words make a difference every single time. We use words to convey our feelings, our emotions, our journeys but we so often forget to dig deeper than the words leaping off the page (or screen) at us. We forget that behind the word “joy” there is a sour grape, lurking down the rabbit hole of the “o” in the middle of the word. Or we ignore the uncompleted circle in the “c” of carefree.

We use words to define ourselves to others in bios, in résumés, and on various other forms. Choose your words carefully for they reflect the journey of your life…of you.

Our words falter when we trip down the rabbit hole that is a Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorder or other Mental Health disorders. So we dust off our thesaurus and desperately search for happy. But it’s not where we will find our happy. We will find our happy in the battles we fight as we journey back to ourselves.

Join me tonight at 830pm ET tonight on Twitter as we discuss the challenge in finding ourselves again…the challenge of redefining our happy…it’s a helluva battle but it’s one worth fighting every time. See you there!

#PPDChat Topic – Creating a Menu for Mental Well-Being & Motherhood

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We all know that once Motherhood crashes into our lives our nutrition takes a dive for awhile. Sure, some of us may manage to get great food after we’ve given birth and/or while we are running around after the little ones but some of us are grabbing whatever we can to keep ourselves alive as we rush around in the vortex of our children.

For those of us who struggle with mental health issues, including PMAD’s, nutrition is extremely important. What we fuel our bodies with does affect our brains. We need to be mindful of how we feed our minds – and not just with thoughts or events, but with nutrients.

Join me tonight for a very casual (read: not technical/medical at all) discussion about what we can do to improve our moods through the foods we choose to fuel our minds. Looking forward to chatting with you about what’s worked for you, what hasn’t worked, and what foods are better choices as well as how to easily incorporate these foods into a hectic lifestyle.

See you at 830pm ET, y’all!