#PPDChat Topic 02.21.11: Town Hall: Open Forum
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Tag Archives: parenting
Saturday Sundries 02.19.11: Talking with your kids about Postpartum Mood Disorders
Hey y’all! This will be a short yet important post. I’m in the car on my way to the circus in Atlanta with the family. I planned to blog last night but fell asleep on the couch after watching Grey’s. Woke up long enough to crawl into bed. So here I am. Blogging from my phone at 70mph. Don’t worry. I’m not driving.
Some of you may have older children in the home when Postpartum strikes. They already have a lot to deal with when a baby joins the family. Their role in the family may change from only child to oldest child from youngest to middle child and so on. Issues of jealousy may enter the picture as a result.
Then Postpartum strikes.
Older children may react in one of two primary ways:
- Self-blame for parental depression
- Projected blame onto their new sibling for the cause of parental depression
The most important thing kids need to hear is that a parent’s depression is NOT their fault.
I know that’s hard to do when you’re in the midst of hell. We did not talk with our oldest before my Postpartum experience with our second. I had Postpartum with our oldest as well.
We did talk to our daughters about what might happen with Mommy after she had their brother though. We drove home that it was not anyone’s fault…. not theirs, not their brother’s, not daddy’s, not mommy’s. Then, as a family, we brainstormed ways they could help Mommy if she got sad or angry after baby arrived. My oldest planned to tickle Postpartum Depression into oblivion.
Thankfully I did not have Postpartum after the birth of our son. But our daughters knew how to help mommy and would even ask how I was feeling. I think they were looking for an excuse to tickle me!!!
Bottom line: Talk to your kids. Use language appropriate for their age. Answer their questions in an age appropriate manner. Reinforce that Postpartum is not anyone’s fault. Reassure them that Mommy or Daddy will get well. Recruit family members to take older siblings out to do activities and keep their schedule as normal as possible.
Depression affects the entire family but with careful planning your family can come through with flying colors.
And the 2010 Postpartum Voice of the Year is…….
Background created by Billy Alexander; sourced from: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/1284532
I am so very excited to announce that Kimberly, of All work & No Play Makes Mommy go Something Something, is the 2010 Postpartum Voice of the Year.
Kimberly’s writing about her journey through her battle with PMD’s has been absolutely astounding. With each new post, she allows her readers into her world with a breathtakingly raw level of honesty. Through it all, even when she has felt like giving up, she has found solace through sharing her journey with us. We have all rallied around her when times have gotten tough and celebrated when they’ve been good.
Today is one of those days where we get to hoist Kimberly onto our shoulders and carry her around for a day. Today is Kimberly’s day. Heck, it’s her YEAR.
Congratulations to one of the most amazing women I have had the good fortune to come in contact with over the past year. You are truly an inspiration and a shining light for other mothers. YOUR words speak volumes when they sit alone in the dark, searching for hope. You totally rock.
Want to read the piece she won this fabulous award for? You can read it right here.
To all the finalists of the Postpartum Voice of the Year, know that beyond a shadow of a doubt that your words too, are making a difference. Your story speaks to mothers who are in the SAME place as you. They will find solace in your journey. A solace which may not exist anywhere else for them. I cannot stress how important this is – every woman with Postpartum deserves a soft place to land. All of the finalists and nominees are amazing. The compassion I know all of you have in your hearts amazes me every week. The community we build through our words is limitless, priceless, full of hope, full of love – full of all the things we WISH had been there for us when we fell – or WAS there for us when we fell. It’s filled with all that it should be and so much more.
I am humbled by your audacity and courage on a daily basis.
Don’t ever stop speaking up, reaching out, and inspiring hope.
Congratulations, Kimberly. As @earthXplorer would say, ROCK THIS DAY!
Just Talkin’ Tuesday 01.25.11: Buried under Mama Guilt
Original Graphic by Lauren Hale, Author, MPV
Mama Guilt.
What does this mean to you?
In your life, right now, what invokes this emotion within you?
Is it when you work? Is it because you don’t work outside the home?
When you do something just for YOU?
When something goes wrong? When you lose control? Fail at perfection? Compare yourself to another mom who is perfectly wrapped and coiffed?
Yelling at your kids instead of gently guiding them toward the desired behavior?
Sleeping when you should be up at the crack of dawn because it’s just not motherhood unless you throw yourself under the bus every second of every day?
Wondering if your child is missing milestones because of something you did or didn’t do?
Are you enrolling them in enough extracurricular activities? Engaging them?
Or are you sitting on your computer chatting on Twitter, reading blogs, commenting at blogs? Judging other moms?
Chiding your husband? Wishing you could stay home with the kids instead of going to work?
Doing ANYTHING without your kids?
Loving bedtime?
Loving naptime?
Mama Guilt.
Dangerous ground, this emotion.
This week’s Just Talking Tuesday isn’t really a conversation starter. Perhaps it is – but I want to issue a challenge along with it.
This week? Pick ONE thing which causes you the most Mama Guilt. Write it down on a piece of paper. BURN THE PIECE OF PAPER. TEAR IT UP. DESTROY IT. LET.IT.GO.
Then Post here. Tell us what you destroyed, how you destroyed it, and why. Let us know how we can help you keep moving away from your guilt. Alone, we are powerless. But together? Unstoppable.
Let’s do this.
Postpartum Voice of the Year Finalists
Over the past three weeks, y’all have been voting a LOT.
I fully intended to have this post up last night but my four year old had other plans as she got sick right as I finished setting up the finals poll. Life delayed me.
But here we are, so on with the post.
First, let me just say that overall, the group of posts and writers showcased here over the past three weeks are all absolutely amazing. Every single story and post shared has immense value. There is a mom or family out there struggling with EXACTLY the thing you blogged and/or wrote about to submit somewhere. They will find your post and gasp, “That’s ME!” Do you know how totally cool that is to have out there? How comforting it is to come across a post and nod your head through the entire thing – to feel like you are not the only freak on the block with those very issues? It’s immeasurably comforting. You all rock for making the world THAT place for a mom or family going through your very story.
Second, voting is not over yet.
This is the final round. The top post will be awarded the honor of Postpartum Voice of the Year. In the case of a tie, I’ll have a neutral (ie, non-nominated) party make the decision. (Translation – my husband will read both pieces and make the final call. Shhhh. I haven’t asked him yet. But I’m sure he will. If he defers, I’ll recruit another family member.)
Each one of these pieces is unique in their own way yet they all embody honesty, passion, dedication, and a genuine compassion for other mothers who may be traveling along this Postpartum road with us.
As before, please, please read ALL the pieces before you vote. I ask that you vote for the piece which speaks the loudest, the bravest, and touches you the most. The voice which resonates the most with you.
With no further ado, I present the Postpartum Voice of the Year Finalists.
And yes, there is awesome Finalist Badge bling if you want it. Email me, same address as before.
Poll I Finalists:
Based on a True Story Part I & Based on a True Story Part II by Pamela at 2 much Testosterone
Please don’t take my Sunshine away (anonymous submission)
Poll II Finalists:
I’ve got 99 problems but a mommy ain’t one by @HeirtoBlair
The Bucket by @momgosomething
Poll III Finalists:
Post about Postpartum Depression by The Outdoor Wife
My Story by Miranda of Not Super Just Mom
Now that you have read all of the posts, vote.
The poll closes in one week. Winners will be announced next Tuesday morning, January 31.
Good luck, ladies!
[polldaddy poll=4436879]
