Tag Archives: Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorders

Thoughts on Miriam in DC

On October 3, 2013, Miriam Carey tragically lost her life Washington, DC. She was supposed to be in Connecticut, taking her daughter to a doctor’s appointment according to the myriad of articles I have read this morning.

They all seem to have the similar tone to them, these articles. That a woman tragically lost her life because she had Postpartum Depression.

Yet, medication recovered at her Stamford, CT, apartment would indicate that what was going on with Miriam went much deeper than Postpartum Depression.

A woman with Postpartum Depression does not simply break with reality and drive hundreds of miles out of her way to drive into barriers, lead police on a chase, and somehow end up dead, all with her infant daughter in the back seat.

The behaviour of Miriam Carey lends itself to the behaviour of a mother struggling with Postpartum Psychosis, the facts of which can be found at this page on Postpartum Support International’s site. According to this page, symptoms of Postpartum Psychosis can include:

  • Delusions or strange beliefs
  • Hallucinations (seeing or hearing things that aren’t there)
  • Feeling very irritated
  • Hyperactivity
  • Decreased need for or inability to sleep
  • Paranoia and suspiciousness
  • Rapid mood swings
  • Difficulty communicating at times

There are a number of symptoms on that list I have seen discussed this morning. Some of them match up with PPP.

The other things I have seen discussed this morning are heartbreaking. Folks judging Miriam for her actions. Saying she’s a monster. Wondering how she could possibly have driven her vehicle into the barriers and toward a hail of police bullets with her daughter in the back seat.

I have also seen some honest discussion about what it means to struggle with a mood disorder after the birth of a child and how it hurts whenever something like this happens. I feel as if I have been punched in the gut, to be honest. I want to fall to my knees and weep for what happened to Miriam. But instead, I am writing and I am reaching out to those in the community I founded to support women and families struggling with mood disorders after the birth of a child.

Why?

Because this kind of support, on a human level, helps quell the storm. It lets others know they are not alone and there is hope. We help each other find the way in the dark, particularly when a storm like this tragedy looms on our shores. You see, at one time or another, we have all been Miriam. We have had those thoughts, the scary ones about driving our cars into solid objects, about letting go, about just giving up and moving on toward that great white light. Some of us have almost touched that white light. WE KNOW the darkness which drove Miriam to Washington, D.C. intimately. We have sat with it on our shoulders, in our hearts, and felt it try to gain control of our heads. We, however, are the lucky ones because we are still here, fighting.

When the women of the Postpartum Support Community band together, it is a beautiful thing. We are some of the strongest women in the world and we refuse to stand down. In the spirit of standing strong, I will be participating in a Blog Carnival “For Miriam” on World Mental Health Day on October 10th. If you would like to join us, you can find more information here on the FB page.

For now, know that you are not alone, it is absolutely okay to reach out for help, and you are loved.

If you or a loved one are currently struggling with a Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorder, reach out to Postpartum Support International at their website or find me on Twitter @unxpctdblessing. There is also 24/7 support available via the hashtag #PPDChat and we have a closed FB group as well. You are never alone.

The Challenge of Moderating A Mental Health Peer Support Community

The world of advocating and supporting those fighting the hard fight against Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorders holds within it a myriad of challenges. Moderating a community requires a lot – patience, compassion, understanding, and knowing when to properly apply tough love. The last one gets me every time -it is definitely a challenge and very heart-breaking to apply tough love to a struggling mama- but it is sometimes the only option left.

Within the #PPDChat community, some moms may end up being friends, others may just need me for a short period of time on their journey. I have to be okay with either, learning to let go as the moms who contact me move in a very fluid way in and out of my world.

My primary goal, however, is to keep everyone within the community safe above all else. To ensure that they feel respected, empowered, validated, and treated with all the dignity each of us deserves as humans and as adults, something all of us deserve. When someone within the community fails to meet this goal or feels these goals are not being met, I take action.

When there is a threat/disrespect for the community, a member requires more help than I or other members can provide, or threatens the safety of those close to them, I reach out for additional support. Dealing with threats to themselves or to the safety of the group is not a pleasant situation but it is something which is bound to crop up every so often. I must be prepared to provide solace for all involved – the community at large and the struggling member, without divulging too much information regarding either. Even though I am not legally bound by the classic “client/therapist” privilege rule, I hold myself to it unless threats are made. Even then, I only release information to the necessary parties.

Moderating #PPDChat has taught me a few lessons about dealing with people in general:

1) Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. This one is tough because sometimes, when I would like to be angry at someone, I see their pain. I see the suffering which is causing their anger. I have learned when to dive in and hold a conversation but at the same time I have also learned when to walk away and let them fight their own battles with their dark storms. Sometimes, and this is perhaps the toughest lesson of all, people need to fight the storm on their own and we have to walk away because they are simply not prepared to let others put on their battle armor with them. I have found that if I need to do this, the best way to do so is to leave the door open as I walk out, in case they are ready to have an army by their side.

2) Be kind to yourself, for the battles you face may be harder than you think they are and it’s okay to not be okay. We all do it, tell ourselves that what we’re going through isn’t as hellacious as it should be – a lie. It’s okay to fight, it’s okay to hurt, and it’s okay to be kind to yourself. I say this often: Self-care is not selfish, it’s selfless. There is a fine line between self-care and selfish, however – it’s importance to balance taking care of your responsibilities with taking care of yourself. In the same vein, it’s okay to say no to extras. Things which are responsibilities take priority over things which are “supplemental” to life. To figure out the difference, make a list and ask yourself if life will go on if you skip something. Meal prep is a responsibility. Gotta eat. Making a ton of cookies for the church social? Yeah, saying yes might put you in the good graces but if it’s at the sacrifice of your sanity, it might not be worth it. Instead, choose to spend that time with your family or with yourself.

3) Everyone won’t be happy with the rules…or with what other people in the group have to say about certain topics. We all come to motherhood with different expectations and beliefs about how things should go. We all walk different paths and need to find the right path for us – in the process, remember that the right path for US may not be the right path for those around us. Judging the choices of others is something I DO NOT tolerate in the #PPDChat community because we are already judging ourselves as women, as mothers, and as mothers fighting a mental health battle. The LAST thing we need to add to that full plate is our support community judging us too. When personal attacks happen, tough love knocks down the door dressed up as a Mama Bear.

4) Treating others with dignity goes a long way. We’re dealing with other adults here, not with children. I don’t even see Teen Moms as children. They are mothers now, with very real adult responsibilities. To treat them, or any new mother, as anything less than an adult with responsibilities, is to disrespect them. You’re not helping if you’re constantly holding someone’s hand and telling them what they can or cannot do. It’s not empowering to talk down to them. Mental health struggles do NOT equal incapable. I was an adult prior to my postpartum issues and I was still an adult when I was fighting the beast. I treat others with the same respect and dignity with which I would want to be treated in the midst of my own storm. I believe it lends to confirming to the woman/family seeking help that they ARE still human, they DO matter, and it provides a sense of normalcy, if you will. It’s possible to acknowledge struggles without demeaning or patronizing the person experiencing them.

5) Authenticity is important. Sharing parts of yourself as a peer moderator builds trust. It shows your community that you are indeed human and understand their pain. Particularly online, it is important to not just be a robot spouting self-care-isms, if you will. Mean what you say and say what you mean. My community is perfectly aware of my rather unhealthy obsessions with bacon, football, F1, Star Wars, and a myriad of other things. Why? It humanizes me and therefore humanizes the community as we are able to bond with each other over a myriad of topics. It allows us to talk about things beyond our “labels.”

6) Know when to be light-hearted and when to be serious. There is a fine line between these two approaches, particularly when dealing with mental health issues. Cross the light-hearted line a bit too much and you may end up in the stigma/discrimination zone. That’s never a good thing. We joke a bit more about it in closed group but I am always, always careful about how I phrase things because I absolutely do not put up with any form of discrimination within the community. I see everyone one equal footing – as people fighting like hell to just be themselves, whatever that may be now. We need laughter but we also need respect and tough love. Toeing the line requires finesse, something I work diligently at achieving.

I’m sure there are more lessons I have learned whilst moderating the #PPDChat Community but the six above are perhaps the most important ones.

It is my utmost desire that everyone who reaches out to #PPDChat for support find a community which respects them as a whole person, respects their individual choices regarding child-bearing and child-rearing, and empowers them as they fight with all their might on their journey toward being well once again.

I know people feel that way because I hear it every so often from those who have participated. In fact, just the other day @jenrenpody shared this with me:

“I turned to ppdchat because I felt safe, validated and heard. I needed that validation and support. I found so much more – community and friendships.”

#PPDChat works to do exactly what Jen states and it always will. If for some reason, you have a different experience, let me know and I will do my best to address the issue. You are absolutely not alone, you will be heard, and you are safe. Always.

What would be most important to you in a peer-based community support group and why? Has #PPDChat helped you feel empowered to fight your battle against Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorders? Join in the discussion by sharing below!

Question From A Reader: “Will I Ever Feel Like This Is The Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me?”

A reader emailed me earlier this morning to thank me for my “fabulous blog.” But she also had a question about her current experience with her journey through Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorders.

Below is her question and my response:

Her Question:

“I’m over three months into recovery – having therapy and taking anti-depressants. Although I have much improved – I’m more bonded with my son, my sleep and appetite is better, my anxiety attacks are reduced etc – I can’t help wondering if I’ll ever feel that true elation, true joy that despite everything becoming a mum is the best thing that’s ever happened to me?

Should I still be hopeful that this will come as part of full recovery or should I be finding a way to accept that although, I now know I love my son, life is always now going to be a little more miserable?”

My reply:

“Sending hugs, first and foremost.

Second, I’m glad to read that your symptoms have lessened just three months into your recovery and you’re feeling more bonded with your son and your appetite and sleep have improved as well. Those are HUGE things.

Think of recovery this way – first, we have to take care of the essentials – the basic things which keep us going – like eating, sleeping, etc. After those things have sorted themselves out, we can then focus on secondary things, such as mood, etc. Mood can absolutely disrupt the primary but as we heal from mood issues, we must heal the primary first.

It took me a long time to get back to being able to truly feel elation and joy, but that journey and the length of it is different for every person, just as physical recovery is different for every person.

Just as with a broken bone or a severe injury, there will always be a “scar” or “phantom pain” but eventually you regain full use of the complete spectrum of emotions, even if it takes some time.”

Add your thoughts, experiences, or support below. Time to rally!

Celebrating Through Giving Back – Today’s Spotlight – @PostpartumHelp (PSI)

Shortly after I decided that I needed to reach out to other mothers as an advocate, I found Postpartum Support International. I ordered the manual Jane Honikman had available through the site about how to organize. She was an angel and shipped it to me before receiving the check for it from my mother (we were struggling at the time and it was a gift my mother decided to provide to me – bless her).

Shortly thereafter, while forming my own in person support group, I also became a Co-Coordinator for the state of Georgia. One of my first calls landed me on the phone with Jane because it was such a doozy and I had no idea what I needed to do – I handled it wonderfully with her support. Jane is warm, caring, and makes you feel at ease instantly. When I had the chance to meet her in 2010, it was all I could do not to cry – you PSI Coordinators know what I’m talking about. Because of this fabulous woman who has walked in our shoes, has hurt, and has decided that NO ONE ELSE SHOULD HURT ALONE, is why PSI exists today.

Without early support from PSI, from Jane, Wendy Davis, and other coordinators who at this point are far too numerous to name (waves at Heidi Koss and Diane Ashton, two very early allies), I would never have started down the road to advocacy. They nurtured an early advocate and provided sage advice along the way.

PSI operates a very large net of volunteer Coordinators, all of who go above and beyond to help the families reaching out to them. The world is a phenomenally better place because of these men & women manning the front lines.

I always refer to PSI for information and support. Go check out their website for information, to locate a volunteer near you, to volunteer, or even to donate to support what they’re doing to help families.

Thank you, Jane, Wendy, and all the past and future Presidents of PSI. Because of you, lives are saved and will continue to be saved. Don’t stop fighting the good fight. We are not alone because you have lit the path for so many and it will never stop shining.

 

Celebrating Through Giving Back – Today’s spotlight: @postpartumprog

HI!

Today’s the day, my birthday.

I’m highlighting Postpartum Progress today. But I thought that was just a blog, you’re thinking. Nope. The awesome Katherine Stone has turned her work into a non-profit which is making a lot of waves right now. It’s been inspiring to see how much they’ve managed to do so far with the base Katherine developed through her blog. I know they’re gonna go places and make a helluva difference in the world.

I LOVE the description of who they are:

We are catalysts. We are champions. We are instigators. We want change as soon as possible and we’re going to make it happen.”

Go over to the non-profit site here. Check out what they’ve been up to and possibly donate or even volunteer. She’s building an army of Warrior Moms. Go be one.

Keep up the fabulous work, Katherine. Proud to know you, and blessed to be one of those in the trenches with you as we fight against the stigma and misunderstanding of Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorders. Keep rocking, lady.

Celebrating through Giving Back: Today – Postpartum Support Virginia

If you were around for yesterday’s post, you know that I’m celebrating my birthday week by shining the spotlight on various amazing Perinatal Mood & Anxiety non-profits. Today, I’d like to introduce you to Postpartum Support Virginia.

The founder, Adrienne Griffen, I also met in 2010 at the Postpartum Support International Conference in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Adrienne, like all of the PSI volunteers, is full of passion for helping women & families through their fight with PMAD.

She’s done quite a bit with Postpartum Support Virginia and I would urge you to go check out their site to see what they’ve been up to and what they have planned. They’re located in Northern Virginia. If you’re an athlete, they are planning to participate in the 2013 Marine Corps 10k on October 27th. Find out more information & sign up here.

If you’re not athletically inclined, visit their primary site here and nose around to check out their mission, their services, and if you’re moved to do so, make a donation to support the difference they’re making in the lives of women & their families in their area.

Keep up the great work, Postpartum Support Virginia!!!

Celebrating Through Giving Back – Today: Tree of Hope Foundation

Hi, y’all!!!

This week includes my birthday. I want to spend the week highlighting non-profits who are doing a heck of a job to support families struggling with Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorders.

Today, I’m highlighting the Tree of Hope Foundation. I met Pamela Moffit in 2010 during a Postpartum Support International Conference. We hit it off fabulously. She’s full of life but very, very dedicated and passionate to ensuring women do not face the same fate as her sister-in-law and niece, Mary and Caroline. In 2004, Mary ended her life and her 5 week old daughter’s life as well. It was this tragedy that provided the seed for the Tree of Hope to bloom. (You can read an article about this here)

Pamela works tirelessly to save just one person, a personal goal I also share with my work, a goal all of us who work with those who fight have – just one person. Then once we’ve done that, we go back to that very same goal. It’s a simple goal but it’s more than we were doing before and it makes a difference.

Right now, the Tree of Hope is doing a LOT of fundraising. In honour of my birthday, I’d ask that you go visit their site, nose around, get to know what this awesome non-profit is up to, and maybe even donate if you can afford to do so. If you’re in metro-Detroit, you can also volunteer. Raising our voices decimates stigma but funding organizations who are in the trenches makes a REAL difference in REAL lives.

Thank you, Pamela, and Tree of Hope, for rocking it in Michigan and making a difference in your surrounding community. Keep up the amazing work, one woman at a time.

ATTENTION: The annual fundraiser is just around the corner on the 11th of October. If you’re in the area, GO! You can register here.

Seeking Guests for #PPDChat

From the Desk Of

Hey, y’all!!!

Perinatal Mood Disorders are a lonely road to travel. We have all been there and we have all heard other mothers say the following phrase:

“I felt so alone.”

Thing is, we are not alone. So.NOT.ALONE.

With this approach in mind, I am expanding #PPDChat to include guests in addition to the regular supportive chats. So, in addition to using #PPDChat for support throughout the week, community members will be able to chat with experts, survivors, and advocates.

Guests so far have included but are not limited to:

Karen Kleiman, founder of Postpartum Stress Center

Claire, founder of Life With a Baby

Cristi Comes of Motherhood Unadorned & AFSP of Washington

Text4Baby and Board Member Colleen Craft

Kathy Morelli of Birth Touch

and many other knowledgeable and compassionate folks dedicated to supporting women and families as they navigate the perinatal period. It’s been a blast chatting with them and sharing additional insight and knowledge.

Are you an expert, an advocate, survivor, or representative of an organization supporting families through Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorders? Know someone who would be a perfect fit?

Talk to me about chatting with #PPDChat. We are a volunteer run peer-based support chat, talking every Monday at 1pm and 8:30pm ET via Twitter. Read more about #PPDChat guidelines here. Typical guests join us in the evening but if day is better for you, we can accommodate your schedule. If you’re new to Twitter, we have a quick start guide and are willing to work with you to get you up to speed.

How to throw your hat in the ring:

Email me at mypostpartumvoice(@)gmail.com with #PPDChat Guest Request as your subject line and we’ll get the details ironed out.

Looking forward to this new chapter of #PPDChat with you!

 

LTM III Page 32

The Hidden Stigma of The Perfect Birth Culture

APA-BlogDayBadge-2013Today is the APA’s Annual Mental Health Blog Day. I’m diving into an aspect of Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorders which is often swept under the rug yet brings with it a very divisive and stigmatizing aspect to the birthing world. I dove into this topic somewhat with a blog post just a week ago, but today I’m diving in even further because beneath the exposure of THAT post, there is even more stigma and non-discussion going on among some of the largest birth support organizations (Lamaze, DONA, and CAPPA) in regard to Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorders.

If you read the post linked in the above intro paragraph, you’ll read that Henci Goer’s view of Postpartum Mood and Anxiety Disorders places the blame for experiencing them on the breakdown of the system of medical intrusions into the birthing experience. If we could just fix the system, she believes, Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorders (which are all PTSD related to intrusive medical occurrences during birth, by the way), would disappear and every single mother would be just fine.

Only it doesn’t work that way. We could have the most perfect birth in the world and still end up with some form of a Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorder. I’ve talked to mothers who have had this happen to them. Do the intrusions add to the potential? Sure. It’s a risk. Know what else is a risk? Being female and being pregnant. Researcher after researcher has proven that while yes, there are actions we can take to alleviate our risks or shorten our experiences, we are ALL at risk regardless of our stature in life or the manner in which we give birth. From those at the highest of society (Kim Kardashian, anyone?) to a woman in a third world country with the most meager access to care, we are ALL at risk. Different language may be used to express those experiences, but going “mad” after childbirth is something which has occurred since the time of Hippocrates and doesn’t show any signs of slowing down.

I’m not saying that we are all DOOMED to experience Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorders, absolutely not. I’m saying that our risk factors are similar. Additional stress adds to our risk weight but beyond that, pregnancy itself is a risk factor as it does things to our bodies, to our hormones, to ourselves, that we will never fully understand regardless of how much research we do. The best way, I think, to approach pregnancy, is to advocate for the best care for yourself, whatever that may be. If you need an epidural to give birth, then go for it. If you want to give birth naturally, go for it. But be aware that birth is a fluid and organic process over which we truly have no control. Things may happen for which we are either not prepared or not willing to have happen. However, if you’re open to the possibility that they *may* happen, the result may be less traumatic and therefore leave a shorter impression upon your psyche.

In reading through Lamaze’s Listening to Mothers III report, I’m hit with some thoughts about how well the birth community IS listening to mothers. So I decided to go hit some of the other websites to see where they stand on Postpartum Depression Mood & Anxiety Disorders. How well do they prepare Mothers for the possibility of these issues and/or how well do they welcome mothers who have birthed before and experienced these things and are now searching for a “better” way to birth in order to avoid similar issues?

The answers were not good.

ACOG, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, has a published Opinion Paper on Screening for Depression During and After Pregnancy. It was issued in 2010 and reaffirmed in 2012. This opinion includes a chart mentioning several different methods of screening, notes the amount of time it takes to go through each one, the sensitivity of the screening method, and if it’s available in Spanish. ACOG then concludes by saying the following:

“Depression is very common during pregnancy and the postpartum period. At this time there is insufficient evidence to support a firm recommendation for universal antepartum or postpartum screening. There are also insufficient data to recommend how often screening should be done. However, screening for depression has the potential to benefit a woman and her family and should be strongly considered. Women with a positive assessment require follow-up evaluation and treatment if indicated. Medical practices should have a referral process for identified cases. Women with current depression or a history of major depression warrant particularly close monitoring and evaluation.”

Not only do they recommend screening, they recommend development of a referral process AND note that women with current depression or a history thereof should be monitored. Kudos, ACOG.

DONA has several position papers available at their website. The one for the Postpartum Doula does not mention Postpartum Depression aside from the following sentence:

“We know that women who experience support from their family members, care providers, counselors and peer groups have greater breastfeeding success, greater self-confidence, less postpartum depression and a lower incidence of abuse than those who do not.”

DONA also offers up a Postpartum Plan worksheet for new mothers. Nowhere on this sheet does it at all mention what to do if a Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorder appears. To DONA’s credit, however, there are books included on their required reading list for their Postpartum Doula Certification by known Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorder experts. The books, however, are older, and the PDF for Postpartum Doulas has not been updated since 2009 while the list for the Birth Doulas was last updated in 2013.

CAPPA’s position paper for Postpartum Doulas makes mention of Postpartum Depression and focuses on the “fourth trimester” as one which must be traversed as carefully as the three trimesters of pregnancy. The Postpartum Doula, according to CAPPA, is not to provide medical care, but to have a network of caregivers (none of which are therapists, psychologists, or psychiatrists) which they can refer the family to if so needed.

According to CAPPA, the Postpartum Doula does the following:

“Postpartum doulas are knowledgeable professionals who assist families during the critical period immediately after the birth of their baby. They “mother the mother” and offer physical, emotional and informational support to the family as well as practical help.”

Makes sense, yes? After all, we do need to be mothered after giving birth. We know how difficult it is to make that adjustment to having the baby on the outside instead of on the inside.

The reading list for the Postpartum Doula at CAPPA has only three Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorders books listed, two less than DONA. The Childbirth Educator certification list has NO books regarding Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorders.

In discussion with various OB’s, I’m told they spend less than 2 weeks on Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorders as they train for their specialty. Two weeks to understand the complexities of Psychiatric issues post-birth.

Bringing things full circle, the Lamaze Listening to Mother’s III report has this to offer about Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorders:

LTM III Page 32

I don’t know what’s more disturbing here – that 31% of the mothers were self-reporting as feeling down or depressed or that 44% of these women with regular feelings of depression in the two weeks prior to the survey HAD NOT CONSULTED A PROFESSIONAL SINCE GIVING BIRTH.

Going back to my article about Henci’s comment at a previous post over at Science & Sensibility, you’ll note that she mentions “Furthermore, on-site mental health services would be of little use to women suffering from childbirth-related emotional trauma because one of the prime protective responses is avoidance of environments and personnel that re-trigger traumatic memories.”

I cannot help but wonder if the training, the discussions, the passing down of the believe that if only your birth is perfect and free of all possible interventions (as is impressed upon by the Lamaze Healthy Birth Practices found here), you’ll be just fine attitude held by so many within the birthing community is……

HINDERING MOTHERS FROM SEEKING HELP?!?!?

There are the standard reasons, of course, lack of insurance (due to Medicaid), cost, transportation, childcare, stigma/denial from family members, etc.

But what if… what if this stigma and denial is also coming at women from their caregivers? I know I had it from my OB. I know women who have been told horrific things when they’ve managed to call for help – things from “Well, are you suicidal yet?” to “Oh, just go shopping or take a walk and you’ll be fine…” or what I heard which was “Your hormones slid back into place at 4wks postpartum so this can’t be Postpartum Depression.”

I’m pleading with the caregiving community as a whole – with Obstetricians, with midwives, with pediatricians, with doulas, with anyone and everyone who may come in contact within a medical capacity with a pregnant or new mom to accept what she has to say as truth. To not try to reframe it for her, to not brush it off, to not dismiss her very valid fears and concerns. Listen. Truly listen. Don’t run through all your evidence based research in your head as she’s pouring out her heart to you – because if she’s doing that, it took her a very long hard look inside to be able to do that and if you say the wrong thing, you’re going to shut her down very quickly and do harm to her recovery process.

For those who DO listen, who do educate themselves and go beyond the certification recommendations, thank you. Thank you for bringing awareness to this struggle that so many of us fight.

With every birth, a new mother is born. It does not matter if she’s been born into the role before, she is reborn with each child. For each child and each aftermath presents a different set of challenges with which she must learn to live. Be gentle. Be kind. Be supportive. Listen. Don’t shame. Don’t stigmatize. The trust of a new mother is an amazing thing.

Stop abusing it, stop re-framing it, and above all else, wrap it in love and return it with your own level of compassionate honesty.

We, the women of the world, the mothers of all of you, deserve at least that much.