This year has been a year full of milestones for our four year old daughter.
She blew out the candles on her birthday cake for the very first time. She belly laughed for the first time. She is thriving in an all-day pre-k full of absolutely normal kids her age. We understand almost 99% of her speech these days. Life is good.
Today, a milestone happened for us in the car.
When I walked in to pick her up from pre-k, she grinned widely, jumped up, and ran over to hug me.
The last time I picked her up? Tears. Total meltdown. Temper tantrum complete with thrashing in the floor. She is accustomed to her father picking her up and had not been informed about the change. She was NOT happy. Today she was happy to see me. We started last night to explain to her that Mommy would be picking her up from school to take her to a doctor’s appointment.
I had a snack waiting in the car. Once strapped in, I got her settled with her snack, got the tunes going, and off we went.
Halfway across town, as she snacked and I chowed down on Peanut M&M’s, a favorite song of hers came on Pandora.
I turned it up, she squealed, and we sang as loud as we could together.
Then, it hit me.
We?
Were a mother and daughter rocking it out in the car.
Just an average, everyday Mom & daughter totally grooving together.
I had to stop singing because I started crying. Furiously blinking back tears so she wouldn’t see me and swallowing my tears so I could sing with her again, relishing the normalcy of the moment.
My four year old and I did not bond when she was born. She was born with a condition known as Pierre Robin Sequence. At just 9 days old, she had major surgery and was in an induced coma for a week as the swelling went down from her surgery.
When she was 56 days old, I was hospitalized.
When she was 7 months old, I stopped exclusively pumping and stopped resenting her for all the issues she brought into my life.
When she was 3 years old, she had to have another surgery and I was forced to return to the same hospital she was at for her NICU stay. We bonded that week, the two of us, and have been growing closer ever since.
But today? Today was really the first time I felt that miraculous mother/daughter bond with my daughter.
I cried not only because it had finally happened but because it took nearly five years to happen.
You know what though?
TOTALLY worth the wait.
I often wake up to the sounds of screaming children. Not just children playing, children screaming. And actually, it is more than often. I would say 90% of the time we wake up to screaming and arguing children. Given that I am not a morning person, having to dive right into mediating World War III does not usually go well. One of the first things I do after things are settled is make coffee. The scent of freshly ground beans mixing with boiling water soothes my soul. It takes me back to my grandparents.
I also love to cook. This morning I made myself an egg white omelet with baby portabella mushrooms and swiss cheese. Not only was it delish, but it was very soothing to make.
Music soothes my soul too. I listen to quite a range of music these days – a lot of things I’m willing to bet most people would never picture me listening to, even if they follow me on Twitter and are privy to my random music tweets. I love upbeat pop music, hip hop, latin, alternative, rock, classical and flamenco guitar, you name it, I’m there. Except for the Rolling Stones. And the Beatles. Although, today, for the first time ever, I heard a Beatles song that did not annoy the ever loving tar out of me. There’s hope yet for those young lads from Liverpool in my life.
Making loose leaf tea is also soothing for me.
I also like to drive on the open road, windows down, music blasting, nowhere to go, nowhere to be…. just me, the road, and some awesome tunes.
Sitting on the front porch while staring at the birds, rabbits, the cows and goats across the street at the farm, the zillionth cars getting lost in our neighborhood, breathing the fresh country air – I love all of these things.
Reading. Watching movies.
Going to church. Reading my bible (which I need to do more!)
These are healthy solace practices for me.
I lean toward the unhealthy when I clean. Or brush my hair. Or clean. Mostly clean. I don’t clean a LOT because I get afraid I will go overboard and cross that inappropriate line. And no, it’s not an excuse to keep a messy house. I have to go slow when I clean because if I don’t, I won’t sleep, I won’t eat, I’ll just clean. Which is great for the house, not so great for me.
What about you?
What are your healthy solace practices?
Your not so healthy practices?
Let’s get to just talking!
When I changed the name of my blog to My Postpartum Voice, I promised it would be more for you.
There are some changes coming down the road for My Postpartum Voice. They will be slow and gradual but overall, aimed at improving the resourcefulness of this blog/website for Moms and Families in need.
One of the biggest projects I have planned will be an all new Resources page. Not only will it cover Postpartum Specific resources, it will also include resources provided by you for every day living.
If you add one or two or more things to this blog that would make life easier for you or for new and struggling Moms, what would it be?
What helped you the most when you were struggling? Do you have a book you would like to recommend to other moms?
Would you like to see more video? More interactive features? What does interactive mean to you?
Please help me better help and empower you by responding to these questions either in the comments or by emailing me at mypostpartumvoice(@)gmail(dot)com with Improvement Suggestions as the subject line.
I look forward to better serving you in 2011!!
Warmest,
Lauren