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Monthly Archives: February 2011
Whatever Wednesday: Top 10 Veg-out movies
When I’m sick, stressed, or just plain need to veg out, I have certain go to movies. Everyone does, right? In no particular order are my top 5 10 12 go to flicks for vegging out when my brain just can’t take any more reality:
1) Pretty Woman – C’mon. Did you really expect this to NOT be on the list? It’s Richard Gere.
2) Nothing to Lose – Martin Lawrence and Tim Robbins crack me up. My favorite scene? “There’s a spider on your head, man.” Or maybe it’s “Please don’t kill me freaky Jason. I said PLEASE don’t kill me freaky Jason!”
3) Star Trek 2009 – I’m a huge Star Trek fan. No, I don’t dress up and go to conventions. I watch the shows from the safety of my couch. Away from the Klingons and Romulans. Plus, how can you NOT love a movie that opens after the title scene with a car chase scene like this one?A Badass little kid, a vintage corvette, Sabatoge by the Beastie Boys and a tough ass RoboCop? C’mon. What’s NOT to love?
4) The Italian Job – Robbery, Mark Wahlberg, boat chases, Mark Wahlberg, gold, Mark Wahlberg, Austin Mini Coopers, Mark Wahlberg, Ed Norton, Mark Wahlberg, oh, and Charlize Theron. And Mark Wahlberg. Not to mention the kick arse opening of the movie – the opening robbery and subsequent boat race make me drool.
5) PCU – It’s Jeremy friggin Piven. Need I say more? I think not.
6) Funny Farm – Yellow Dog. Ducks. Snakes. Payphone in the house. Bones in the garden. Drunk mailman. Lamb Fries. I think we can stop at Lamb Fries.
7) Blazing Saddles – Farting Cowboys. Yes, Farting Cowboys.
8) Robin Hood Men in Tights – Cary Elwes & Dave Chappelle rock it in this flick. Plus Men in Tights + Mel Brooks? Instantly funny. Plus there’s the bonus of rapping men in tights.
9) Hitch – Quite possibly one of the best romantic comedies I’ve ever seen. I love Will Smith. I love Kevin James. His dancing cracks me up. CLASSIC. Making the Pizza. Q-tip. Moving the feet. Working it.
10) Dirty Dancing – Did you really think I’d not put this on the list? One of the BEST veg out movies of all time. ALL TIME. I miss Patrick Swayze. My favorite scene by far is when Jennifer & Patrick head to the woods & the lake to practice lifts and balance.
12) Spaceballs – If you’ve not seen this movie, go watch it now. Seriously. Why the hell are you still here? Combing the desert, reading scripts on camera, spoofs on the Alien movie, Star Wars, Darth Vader, Pizza the Hut, Jamming the Radar, Going plaid, grown men playing with dolls, Joan Rivers as a virginity alerting robot, this movie has it all. It’s enough to make your head spin. When will when then be now? We’re at now now. Make your now now watching this movie.
Just Talkin’ Tuesday: Boundaries & Burnout
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lqh8e2KYIrU&rel=0]
The above video is of flight attendants on a flight from the Philippines. They have a very creative approach to help their passengers pay attention to the safety measures one needs to know while flying. At 1:38, you hear the voice making the safety announcements begin to say, “If you are traveling with a child, first put on your own mask and then your child’s mask.” All too often we find ourselves, as mothers and women, caring for everyone around us except the one person who matters the most – ourselves.
For quite awhile, my three year old had an infatuation with The Velveteen Rabbit Story. He wanted us to read it to him at nap time and bedtime. So we did. In reading this story to him, there was one section of the tale which truly epitomizes the lengths to which we go as mothers to please our children and those around us. Rain suddenly started falling and the little boy in the story had to rush inside after playing out in the yard. In his hurry, he forgot the Velveteen Rabbit. The little boy goes on with his afternoon and does not realize the Velveteen Rabbit is missing until it is time to go to bed. As his mother tucks him in, the little boy asks for the Velveteen Rabbit. In our version, the mother gets a flashlight and goes outside to fetch the lost rabbit. After searching in the rain, she returns with the drenched Velveteen Rabbit, handing him to her son. The boy is happy as he clutches the soaked toy close to him and quickly drifts off to sleep. The official version of the story reads like this:
And once, when the Boy was called away suddenly to go out to tea, the Rabbit was left out on the lawn until long after dusk, and Nana had to come and look for him with the candle because the Boy couldn’t go to sleep unless he was there.
He was wet through with the dew and quite earthy from diving into the burrows the Boy had made for him in the flower bed, and Nana grumbled as she rubbed him off with a corner of her apron.
I admit, I will search down a toy for my child. But to go out into the rain with a flashlight or a candle? Not in this house. There is a line I refuse to cross.
Yes, it is our job to care for our children. It’s our responsibility to ensure they have the basic necessities of life and feel comforted. It is also our responsibility to ensure that the care we give them is of the highest quality. If we consistently drain ourselves day in and day out, we have nothing to give to ourselves those around us. Our children deserve more than fumes. Our husband deserve more than fumes. And our friends deserve more than fumes. Above all else, WE deserve more than fumes.
This week’s #PPDChat was about Putting on your oxygen mask before putting on someone else’s. While helping others through their pain is helpful and allows a great distraction, it can also be draining. You may be more on edge, more likely to over-react if there is a crisis, and more likely to put that person before your own needs. There are fine lines which need to be respected, lines which need to stay firmly planted between you and others as you heal. It is important to be able to step back from the issue at hand and soothe yourself. Recognizing when you need to do this is hard to do if you are running on fumes.
According to help.org, you may be on the road to burnout if:
- Every day is a bad day.
- Caring about your work or home life seems like a total waste of energy.
- You’re exhausted all the time.
- The majority of your day is spent on tasks you find either mind-numbingly dull or overwhelming.
- You feel like nothing you do makes a difference or is appreciated.
They recommend using the “Three R” method to cope with burnout:
- Recognize – Watch for the warning signs of burnout
- Reverse – Undo the damage by managing stress and seeking support
- Resilience – Build your resilience to stress by taking care of your physical and emotional health
Down the page, they also examine stress v. burnout. Definitely worth checking out.
I impose boundaries on myself. Some of them should probably be stricter and I am working on that. In order to preserve my own mental health these are the things I currently do:
- Take a mandatory nap on Sundays (Although I skipped this past Sunday’s nap – first one in ages)
- Go to sleep early if I’ve had a rough day
- Listen to music
- Eat Chocolate
- Turn off my computer when my kids get home from school until they go to bed
- Don’t watch newscasts
- Say NO if it’s going to overload my plate
- Watch a lot of comedy
- Laugh
- Love
I have even been known to put myself in time out with my kids in the room if I am getting too on edge with them. I have started asking myself if I am upset with them because they’ve been doing things I’ve asked them not to or because I’m being selfish and doing something I want to do and instead, ignoring them when they legitimately deserve my attention. I’ve been amazed and shamed at how often it’s because I’m selfishly taking time to myself when they genuinely need me to help them with something. As I’ve been closing my laptop and leaving Social Media behind when the kids are home and awake, these times have decreased and our relationships have been soaring. I’m glad to be plugging back into what really matters – my family.
Do you have boundaries you refuse to cross? Things you do to recharge your batteries? What are they? Let’s get to just talking.
Flying Test Babies, Flying food… No difference
(Again, if you are fragile, please avoid this blog post. It gets graphic at the very end.)
I didn’t have the same reaction. I have a plethora of children, survivor of abuse in my past, survivor of loss, survivor of PPD. I saw a light hearted commercial about a family being in a rediculous situation and something ridiculous happening.
Not to belittle your reaction, but there are infomercials put there, you know the ones, food flying everywhere because people can’t chop food, we all laugh. There are also people out there that worked in factory settings with limbs chopped off, get where I am going with it?
I am truely sorry you had that snap reaction, I even understand it, and it shows that you have more healing to do.
I hope that you are able to move beyond your pain soon, and laugh at the ridiculous again soon.
The above is a comment which was left in response to my post on February 6 in reaction to the “Test Baby” Super Bowl Commercial. I’ve not edited it at all.
Why am I sharing it with you?
I’m sharing it because as I have thought about what my response to this comment would be, I realized that it needed to be an entire blog post. I have so much to say in response to this person’s reaction.
Here goes.
Dear Justthe10:
I believe everyone has the right to their own opinion and I thank you for leaving yours here at my blog. Just as I allowed your comment, please allow me to respond.
Congratulations on your plethora of children. I hope they are bringing you great joy on a daily basis.
I am deeply sorry for the pain you have suffered throughout your life. It sounds like you have been through the wringer more than once. Abuse, loss, and PPD are no laughing matter.
Neither is child abuse or Shaken Baby Syndrome.
Throwing a baby against a plate glass window is no laughing matter. There is no situation in which this action is anywhere near comparable to that of food flying everywhere. And as far as factory workers go, I can’t remember the last time I saw a commercial with that subject matter.
Food flying everywhere does not cause anyone to be severely brain damaged. It does not cause anyone to live in a persistive vegetative state. It does not harm an innocent person with gratuitous violence.
Furthermore, this commercial was aired during a family event. Children saw this. Children in homes who have suffered violence and abuse themselves. Children who have no real way of processing this the same as you or I. Children who may now think it’s cool to pick up their little brother or sister and throw him or her against the glass window, door, etc, because someone on TV did it.
The manner in which I chose to react on my blog was not a “snap” reaction.
In fact, I did not see this commercial air live. I had stepped out of the room when the commercial aired. It was only because of Twitter that I became aware of the existence of this commercial.
My reaction, was not based on a “snap” judgment. I watched this commercial several times prior to blogging about it.
For nearly four years now, I have worked tirelessly as an advocate and Postpartum Peer Support person. All of my work is unpaid and on a volunteer basis. I come in contact with women and families on a daily basis who share with me their struggles through PPD, their struggles through infant and child loss, and their struggles with past abuse.
My reaction was anything BUT snap. It was a very deliberate and well thought out reaction meant to raise the awareness that it is not okay to use an act of child neglect and/or abuse to turn a profit.
If you Google this topic, you will quickly find that I am not alone in my “Snap” judgment. Well-known and reputable journalists, websites, advocacy groups, parent groups, etc, are all calling for this ad to be completely pulled from the company’s website. Have you seen this article at USA Today?
To call into question my mental health because I refuse to find a gratuitous act of violence against an innocent infant (real or otherwise) is also crossing a line. We are all different and have different boundaries. It’s okay to have different boundaries. It’s what makes us interesting.
If you knew me better, you would also know that I do laugh at the ridiculous and inappropriate on a regular basis. Just ask my husband. I have a very dark sense of humor. I grew up surrounded by a lot of grief and laughter at the darkness of it all was one of my coping methods. I’ll be one of the first people to laugh at dark humor in a group. I’ll tell dark jokes and regularly watch things filled with inappropriate references. There are several people who will back me up on this one.
But for me? Harming a Baby CROSSES A LINE.
And it’s okay that I feel that way. It doesn’t mean I need to heal. It doesn’t mean that I am still hurting. It doesn’t mean that I am crazy. What it means is that I care. I have compassion. I have a moral compass.
Bottom line here:
There is absolutely NO situation in which harming an infant is okay to use as source material for humor. None. Harming infants is off the table for me and for much of America. If it’s not, I worry about where our society is headed when Child Abuse is on the table as a selling point for any company, especially one targeting families.
Furthermore, the company has a customization option at their website now which lets you decapitate the baby. Last I checked, doing that to a real baby will get you locked up and is a real reason to question someone’s sanity. If you really think this extension of the commercial is okay, then perhaps you should check yourself into a hospital. Sadly, this very situation DID happen in Texas not too long ago with a new mother suffering from Schizophrenia and believed to have developed Postpartum Psychosis. I didn’t find it funny then and I certainly don’t find it funny now.
I sincerely wish you all the best in life and hope things continue to go well for you so you are able to “laugh at the ridiculous.”
Me?
I’ll laugh at the ridiculous.
It just won’t ever include harming infants in any way, shape, or form.
Lots of love,
Me



