Monthly Archives: April 2008

Sharing the Journey with Jess Banas

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I have been tremendously blessed to have the privilege to get to know Jess Banas. She is one of the most vibrant, compassionate, and warmest people that I have ever encountered. Jess serves as the Online Coordinator for Postpartum Support International and is one of the Adminstrator at the Online Postpartum Support Page (which was started by Tonya Rosenburg who will be appearing in an interview soon!) I hope that you find solace, truth, and comfort in Jess’ answers. I know that I have found all three through getting to know her and I am very excited to be able to share her sparkling personality with you!

 

 

1) I know that you have personal experience with Postpartum Thyroid Issues. Would you mind sharing your story with us and why it’s so important every woman get checked for these if PPD is suspected?

 My first bout of PPD was in 1997.  I had no idea that I was ill because of the lack of information related to postpartum anxiety that was available.  I did not recognize my irritability and insomnia as relatable to thyroid imbalance or illness, I just thought I was ungrateful (for the gift of motherhood) and felt I was failing as a mother.  Finally, I could not take the mood swings any longer and when I went in to get help, my doctor took my blood for a thyroid screen.  I was diagnosed with postpartum depression and thyroiditis.   

The second time I had PPD, I was on thyroid medication, but still had a thyroid imbalance.  My levels were 12 times higher than the highest normal range!  I later discovered that thyroiditis is fairly common.  In fact, studies indicate that 10% of postpartum women have thyroid fluctuations after pregnancy.  Unfortunately, thyroid screens are not a common part of the six week postpartum checkup, even though the risk for thyroid imbalances are considerably higher than that of gestational diabetes which is 1-3%.

2) What do you find to be most challenging about Motherhood? The least?

 The most challenging part of motherhood for me is finding harmony between my personal needs and those of my children.  I find that if I don’t give time to myself and my relationship with my husband and friends, I become worn down, start to feel resentful, and feel less patient and tolerant.  Giving to myself and taking care of my needs is not only important, it is vital to being a good parent and a good person.  I have realized that saying “no” is a huge part of creating the time I need to give back to myself.  Saying “no” is actually saying “yes” to me and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!!    

The least challenging part of motherhood is the feeling of love and joy that comes with having two little lives join my husband and I.  It seems that the love just grows each day that they exist!

3)  How has becoming a Mother changed you?

  I have found out who I am in being a mother.  I have discovered what makes me tick, what is important to me, and discovered my priorities.  Once I did that, everything else became easier and calmer.  Nothing is as important to me as my family.  I have more inner peace now and take better care of myself as a result.  Because of this, I am in better shape than I was before I had children.

4) In your opinion, what aspect of Motherhood should be most celebrated?

 I am not exactly sure how to put this, but I strongly feel that mothers should be “mothered” more in this country than they are now.  There is so much attention given to the expectant mother, but once the baby arrives, the focus is centered on the infant and the mother is lost in the shuffle.  I feel that mothering the new mother is extremely important and not done routinely enough!  New mothers should be celebrated and focused on more so than they are.  By all means come over and visit the baby, but don’t come without having a casserole in hand and be willing to chip in to do a load of laundry (or two) at the very least.  Don’t expect to have the new mother wait on you, wait on her!  It takes a full year for a new mother to recover from pregnancy, so there is a valid reason for giving a new mother TLC!

5) What led you to become involved with PSI?

The Yates family tragedy occurred when my daughter was only 3 months old.  When the media (incorrectly) called it postpartum depression, I was totally freaked out and feared that I would possibly do the same thing, so I felt compelled to go online and search for answers.   I went to the ABC News Message board. There I learned what PPD was. I realized that this kind of thing would continue to happen unless somebody did something to change it. I realized that I was going to be that somebody. I had to do something to prevent things like this from ever happening again… I had to at least try. For those children and those mothers…I had to try.

Women I have met ONLINE taught me about links, URLs, spam, Google, how to research, and much more. Women who survived PPP (Postpartum Psychosis) were able to clearly show me the differences between sanity and insanity in regards to psychotic behavior. We, in turn, tried to educate others who came to the ABC News Message board searching for answers.

While researching, I found the PSI website. With the encouragement and help of Tonya Rosenberg, who strongly endorsed PSI as a force for change, I joined PSI.

 6) What do you do to spoil yourself when you have time away from the kids?

Lots of things!  I take long bubble baths, go out to dinner with my husband, exercise, talk on the phone, read, nap, eat great food, write, play my guitar, cuddle with my doggie, watch my favorite shows on TV (I have TV recorded), giggle with my hubby in bed, and when things are rough, allow  myself to have a good cry.  The best thing I’ve learned to do is to hug myself when I’m stressed instead of beating myself up.

7) What activity refreshes you the most when you’ve had a rough day?

 A combination of exercise, a shower, and either listening to music or playing my guitar.

8 ) How did you come to work with the Online Postpartum Support Page?

After a few weeks, ABC news shut down the Yates discussion; so in July of 2001, I created the Yahoo! Postpartum Mental Illnesses Group.  Tonya Rosenberg (The founder of the Online Postpartum Support Page) came to my Yahoo group, introduced herself to me, and invited me to check out her group in 2001.   

9) Any advice for other women who want to pay their experience forward and help women with PPD?

That is so easy!!  Go online and join PSI, other online PPD support websites, and start supporting other women.  Model the best that women can be by taking care of yourself and your family!!  Think globally and act locally!!

10)  If there was one piece of advice you could give to an expectant mother (new or experienced), what would it be and why would this be important for her to hear?

Educate yourself on the subject of YOUR BODY & HOW IT BEST FUNCTIONS thru the various ages and stages of life!  We know more about how to program our VCRs than we do our own bodies and that is simply to our own personal detriment.  Ignorance is NOT bliss, my friends.  In my own humble local library there are now tons of books on the subject of postpartum depression and women’s moods/hormones and bodies, so there is plenty of free information out there now!  Also, please PLEASE do not hesitate to ask for and expect HELP!

 

Precious Moments

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You know those moments – the ones where one second your little one looks well, like a baby. And in the next nanosecond, they’re suddenly much older and wiser? I had one of those moments with Charlotte today and it (as it always does) caught me so off guard. Do they really HAVE to grow up? I mean, yeah, I want them to but then part of me wants them to stay sweet and innocent forever. But if they did that — I’d never get enough sleep. Ever again.

So yes.

They MUST grow up.

And hopefully they’ll grow up to be the best darn humans they can be! 😉

Petition in Support of the MOTHER’S Act

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Yes, we had a blog day.

Yes, we’ve called our Senators, written them, and speak out daily about the NEED for improved care for women just like us.

BUT… we’re not being heard. Instead, the voices of those who would argue that the MOTHER’S Act will force new mothers to take medication and submit to screening are the ones being heard. The MOTHER’S Act will not force medication on anyone – what it will do is provide the opportunity for every mother to have access to treatment for a PMD if she has one. The method of treatment is up to the mother and her physician (and frankly, if my physician wasn’t on the same page as I was or at least willing to back up his reasoning with some pretty strong fact, I’d find another physician!) and drugs may not be the best route for every mother – but EVERY MOTHER WHO SUFFERS DESERVES ACCESS TO TREATMENT.

Please sign the petition from the Depression & Bipolar Support Alliance in support of the MOTHER’S Act.

It’s urgent that your voice be heard NOW.

Sharing the Journey with Rebecca Powell

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Here it is folks – the final interview for the ladies over at Totally New Moms.

Rebecca is one busy mom – I thank her for taking the time to answer my questions

so thoroughly and eloquently!

Enjoy!

 

Rebecca Ingram Powell

Christian Author and Speaker

WATCH FOR REBECCA’S NEW BOOK–SEASON OF CHANGE: PARENTING YOUR MIDDLE

SCHOOLER WITH PASSION AND PURPOSE–COMING MAY 2009!

Monthly columnist, ParentLife magazine (LifeWay Christian Resources)

 

 

1) When did you become a Christian and what has helped to solidify or sustain your faith over the years?

Raised in the blessing of a Christian home, I came to Christ as a child. At an early age, I wanted Him to be my Savior, and I was eager to belong to Him. During my teen years, I battled an attraction to the world and made many foolish choices. The summer before my senior year of high school, however, God called me to a state of repentance before Him, and it was at that point that I realized Jesus had to reside over my life as my LORD.

A daily time of prayer and Bible study is the key to a growing faith. It cannot be skipped; it cannot be discounted. A faith that can meet the storms of life (and the victories, too) is a faith that is rooted in a daily relationship with Jesus.

2) What do you find to be most challenging about motherhood? The least?

I would have to say that the greatest challenge of motherhood is in raising godly children–kids who are set apart from the worldly culture that surrounds them but who can capably function as effective Christ-followers in the midst of it. And the easiest thing I do as a mom is love my kids. That’s never been hard!

 3) How has becoming a Mother changed you? Has it strengthened your faith in God?

Becoming a mom changed me from a self-centered, selfish young woman into a servant. I learned what it really meant to love another person unconditionally. Becoming a mom helped me understand the love of my Heavenly Father in a much deeper way. I love my children with all of my heart–there is nothing they could ever do to change my love for them. Although my love is nothing compared to how much God loves, it has given me a glimpse of it.

 4) In your opinion, what aspect of Motherhood should be most celebrated?

My children are 16, 13, and 11. They love the Lord, and they love each other. These years are truly a joy. At this point in my life, I believe that having teenagers that I love being with is cause for celebration!

 5) What led you to write Baby Boot Camp?

My husband and I were teaching a Sunday school class for young married couples. Inevitably, with that age group, people begin building their families. One of the young women in the class, Sondra, had just announced her pregnancy. Her younger brother, however, had just enlisted and was going through boot camp. Her concern for him was beginning to overrule her excitement about being pregnant, and she was sharing his needs with our class. She talked about how he was only getting around five hours of sleep each night, and he had to wolf down every meal. She said he didn’t have time for anything, and his drill sergeant was always yelling about something! To me, her brother’s ordeal sounded eerily like new motherhood–no time to sleep, no time to eat, someone always screaming–and Sondra would be facing similar circumstances in less than eight months. I remembered my first days as a mom, and I wondered if the experience might have gone more smoothly if I’d had someone around to cheer me on. A desire was planted in my heart as I realized I’d love to be there for Sondra, every day of the first six weeks, if I could. That very afternoon I began writing what would be my first published book, Baby Boot Camp, a collection of devotionals designed to encourage and support new moms through the challenging first six weeks of motherhood.

 6) What Bible verse(s) would you say has the most inspiration for you as a mother?        

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6). The world offers tons of advice for raising children. Family and friends do, too. But the best place to go for inspiration and motivation in raising our children is straight to God’s Word. Go to His Word, and you will find all the help you need. Ask Him to lead you to resources that are biblically-based. 

 7) How did you come to the decision to homeschool your children? Any advice for other mothers contemplating this route?

Lauren, this could be a very long answer! :) Briefly, however, the decision was made over many years. I was thinking about homeschooling before I even had children. God put people and resources in our path that caused my husband and me to investigate homeschooling as an alternative to traditional education. As time went on, we realized that we were not simply making a decision, we were responding to a call that God had placed on our lives. I frequently talk to moms who are considering homeschooling, and I always tell them to pray, pray, pray! It has to be something you know you are called to do. Also, you must be in agreement with your husband. It will not work if the two of you are not on the same page. I will also say that I do not regret a single moment of my journey as a homeschooling mom!

 8) How did the idea for your joint blog, Totally New Moms with Sue McRoberts and Arlene Pellicane come to fruition?

This was a God thing. I am a sporadic blogger at best, but blogging is something that I enjoy doing, and I think it’s a great ministry. Teaming up with Sue gave me an incentive because I really wanted to help her give her own ministry and book more exposure. Then God brought Arlene in through an email she sent me. We each have different areas of expertise, but we have the same heart for Jesus. I believe that our blog will be a great place for moms to find the information they need.

 9) If there was one piece of advice you could give to an expectant mother (new or experienced), what would it be and why would this be important for her to hear?

 Your daily time with the Lord, whether you have five minutes or fifty, is something that must be highest priority. Moms tend to put this off and many times believe that it just doesn’t matter. But your relationship with Jesus makes the biggest difference in your life and in your parenting! Author Anne Ortlund said that you can soak yourself in His Word if you really want to! Put verses up around the house. Keep a Bible under the sink in the bathroom so you can read from it while your little one plays in the tub. Focus on Him and make your constant prayer, “Lord, teach me to love you.” He is faithful, and He will do it. And you must pray for your child. God knows your child’s needs much better than you do. He also knows His plan and purpose for your child’s life. Leading our children in the way He has for them is their only assurance of being truly fulfilled. Some people look all their lives for that “something” that is missing. They are looking for Jesus. As moms, we have the amazing opportunity to point our children to the Savior, Jesus Christ. That should be our goal every day. In order to do that successfully, we must be sure that our hearts are pointed to His.