Tag Archives: advice

Life of a Wife writes about her Second PPP Experience

Over at Life of a Wife, Nicole shares about her second time around with PPP and asks for advice. If you have any to offer, I know she’d appreciate it. I’ve already emailed her and am keeping her in my prayers.

Here are a few of her thoughts:

Of course when I came home things went back to normal. Bill went back to work, I went back to full time mom. So other than getting meds I’m not quite sure what it helped. I see a therapist and a psychiatrist and I’ve changed my meds around a bit because I was like a zombie. My therapist said that I’m one step away from winding up back in the hospital for three weeks this time so that’s not good. But I just don’t have the help.

Anyone that has ever been through PPD knows how awful it is, anyone who has been through PPP knows how devastating it is. If there is anyone out there who has been through it more than once, I’d really love to talk to them, this is an ongoing struggle. I am not out of the woods yet. I have my good days and my bad and people who haven’t been through it can be helpful but can’t completely understand. I’m looking for any advice here.

Sharing the Journey with Adrienne Griffen

Meet Adrienne Griffen, an amazing woman, mother, PPD Survivor, and fellow PSI Coordinator.

Adrienne has been volunteering with PSI for about as long as I have and is located in VA. She recently launched her own non-profit, Postpartum Support Virginia.Not only is she one dedicated woman, she’s from my home state, VA. Gotta show the love, right?

Her first postpartum experience was awesome – she even held a dinner party for 40 people when her new daughter was just three months old! (YOU GO GIRL!) It was with her second child that events quickly spiraled out of control and Adrienne found herself struggling for someone, anyone, to listen compassionately to her and show her the way back out. Finally her husband located a physician who specialized in women’s mood disorders. Adrienne began to recover having finally located the correct help. Her third pregnancy was a lot like mine – she stayed on her meds, educated her doctors (even received an apology) and received a screening questionnaire at her 6 week checkup. (By the way, HAVE you written or called your Senator about the MOTHER’S ACT yet?) Impressed with how far the medical community had come, Adrienne felt great and was now fully dedicated to improving things even more. Read on to find out more…

Just like me, you’ve been driven to help other Moms struggling with PPD through an experience of your own. Would you mind sharing that experience with us and why it inspires you to help other mothers?

After my second child was born six years ago, I had a fairly significant episode of postpartum depression and anxiety. I knew something was wrong because everything about this birth and postpartum period was the opposite of my first experience with childbirth two years earlier. My second delivery was rather traumatic (emergency C-section); my second baby ate more, slept less, and cried more than my first; I had a toddler AND a newborn (which I believe is the hardest stage thus far of parenting); I was totally sleep deprived; and I just couldn’t imagine how I was going to survive the next 18 years until this baby went off to college, never mind the next 5 minutes. Compounding my misery was the fact that my next-door-neighbor had just had her second, and my sister just had her fourth, and they made it look so easy.

The hardest part was finding help. Despite realizing that something was terribly amiss, I couldn’t find the help I needed — or at least the help I wanted. At my 6-week postpartum, I told the OB/GYN that I wasn’t feeling well, and without any discussion she offered me Prozac. When I called the Behavioral Medicine branch of my HMO, I was hoping for a verbal hug from someone who could reassure me that others had felt like this and that help was available. Instead, I was told to call back during normal business hours, overheard the intake nurse tell her supervisor I was “homicidal”, was told that they would report me to Child Protective Services if I had hurt my children, and was charged two co-pays since I saw a nurse AND a doctor. The psychiatrist recommended sleeping pills — I wasn’t sure if he meant for me or for my baby. I called mental health providers but couldn’t find anyone accepting new patients. I called about support groups, only to be told that they were now defunct. I saw a psychologist for several months who never understood how desperate I was. I felt like I was banging my head on a brick wall. Finally, when my son was six months old, my husband located a psychiatrist who specializes in women’s mood disorders and gave me the reassurance and care I needed.

I vowed during this time that I would someday do something so that others could find help more easily. This isn’t rocket science. PPD is relatively easily diagnosed and treated. The hard part is getting information to new mothers and connecting them to health care resources.

Tell us about your organization, Postpartum Support VA. How long has this been in the works and what does it feel like to finally have it up and running?

Postpartum Support Virginia is a not-for-profit organization providing hope and help for new mothers through:

  • support for new and expectant mothers (one-on-one and group support)
  • information and resources for new mothers and their families
  • outreach and education

I think of it as an umbrella covering all the activities ongoing in Virginia dealing with postpartum depression. The website (www.postpartumva.org) lists telephone and email volunteers, support groups, and mental health professionals who treat women with postpartum depression and other perinatal mood disorders.

I’ve been thinking about creating an organization like Postpartum Support Virginia for about three years, ever since I started to volunteer with mothers experiencing postpartum issues. But with three young children (they are now 8, 6 1/2, and 3) I couldn’t devote the time and energy until now. My approach has been to build the infrastructure first, then put the superstructure in place.

In other words, I’ve spent the last few years laying the foundation — helping other volunteers get started, speaking to maternal/child health care providers, leading support groups, networking with others involved with PPD throughout Virginia, attending PSI conferences. The past six months have been about formalizing these operations — creating a not-for-profit organization, building a website, creating a board of directors. The next few months will be focused on fund raising. Postpartum Support Virginia is still in its infant stage, and I really feel like I’ve given birth to my fourth child.

What do you find to be the most rewarding about helping other PPD Moms and families?

There is such joy in helping these new mothers who are swirling around in the whirlpool of depression and anxiety. To see the change after they get the help they need is so rewarding. In particular, seeing a new mother fall in love with her baby is amazing. And to receive feedback like this email from a mom who attended one of our support groups makes it all worthwhile:

“Thank you from the bottom of my heart. The knowledge and encouragement that you all gave me in only 2 visits put me on the path to a better life than I ever could have imagined. I went from the worst time in my life to the happiest I have ever been so I am very grateful. Thank you so very much.”
How did your husband handle your PPD? Any advice for dads struggling to cope with their partner’s PPD?

My husband kept our little family going while I had PPD. He researched this illness and found the psychiatrist who finally helped me. He would come home from work at a moment’s notice when I was falling apart. Whenever I feel guilty about how he carried me through this time, he reminds me that is what marriage is all about. Spouses who see their partners suffer PPD, please remember that this is not her fault, you are not alone, and with help she will be well again.
What is the most challenging thing about motherhood?

The most challenging thing about motherhood is being mentally present for each of my children. They are each so special and unique, requiring different parenting skills from me, that it takes time and energy to give each what s/he deserves.
What is your most favorite thing about motherhood?

The same as all other mothers – BEDTIME! Just kidding.

Three things:

  1. I love making my children smile.
  2. I love seeing the progression towards independence, which is bittersweet but the goal of good parenting.
  3. I love watching the sibling relationship develop.

How long have you been a PSI Coordinator and how did you first find out about PSI?

I have been a PSI coordinator for two years. I heard about PSI from another PPD survivor and volunteer, Benta Sims, who raved about the conference she attended a few years ago. Joining PSI gave me the sense of connectedness and credibility that I needed to do this type of volunteer work.

What do you do when you take time for YOU?

Oh, I take LOTS of time for me to ensure I have time and energy for my family. On a daily basis I exercise and nap — in fact, I have taken a nap virtually every day since I was pregnant with my first child almost 10 years ago. I go to bed at 10:00 every night (except tonight while I am answering these questions!). I see a therapist, go to a chiropractor, get monthly therapeutic massages, and practice yoga. I host coffee once a week with three great neighbors — we solve each other’s problems and keep each other on track. And I have terrific in-laws who take my children for a few days once a year so I can revel in being alone in my own home. This is the best gift ever — and usually when I fall into a novel and read non-stop for two days.

How do you balance motherhood and work?

Balancing motherhood and work is extremely difficult, as most mothers know. I don’t really consider what I do as “work” because I find it so fulfilling — and because I don’t get paid (yet). The way I balance it is being my own boss. I know that at this stage of life I wouldn’t be happy with someone telling me what to do, answering to someone else’s demands or expectations or schedule, and forcing my children into my work schedule. So with my own organization, I can do what I want when I want.

Practically speaking, it means working while my children are at school or at night so I can be fully present for them while they are at home. During the summer I hire a babysitter a few mornings a week to take my children to their swim team or the park while I work from home. I’ve been ramping up slowly, but this year will be a big turning point as my youngest starts half-day preschool.
Finally, if you had a chance to pass on just one piece of advice to a new mom (experienced or not), what would you share with her?

Take care of yourself so you can take care of your family.

Sharing the Journey with Rebecca Powell

Here it is folks – the final interview for the ladies over at Totally New Moms.

Rebecca is one busy mom – I thank her for taking the time to answer my questions

so thoroughly and eloquently!



Rebecca Ingram Powell

Christian Author and Speaker



Monthly columnist, ParentLife magazine (LifeWay Christian Resources)



1) When did you become a Christian and what has helped to solidify or sustain your faith over the years?

Raised in the blessing of a Christian home, I came to Christ as a child. At an early age, I wanted Him to be my Savior, and I was eager to belong to Him. During my teen years, I battled an attraction to the world and made many foolish choices. The summer before my senior year of high school, however, God called me to a state of repentance before Him, and it was at that point that I realized Jesus had to reside over my life as my LORD.

A daily time of prayer and Bible study is the key to a growing faith. It cannot be skipped; it cannot be discounted. A faith that can meet the storms of life (and the victories, too) is a faith that is rooted in a daily relationship with Jesus.

2) What do you find to be most challenging about motherhood? The least?

I would have to say that the greatest challenge of motherhood is in raising godly children–kids who are set apart from the worldly culture that surrounds them but who can capably function as effective Christ-followers in the midst of it. And the easiest thing I do as a mom is love my kids. That’s never been hard!

 3) How has becoming a Mother changed you? Has it strengthened your faith in God?

Becoming a mom changed me from a self-centered, selfish young woman into a servant. I learned what it really meant to love another person unconditionally. Becoming a mom helped me understand the love of my Heavenly Father in a much deeper way. I love my children with all of my heart–there is nothing they could ever do to change my love for them. Although my love is nothing compared to how much God loves, it has given me a glimpse of it.

 4) In your opinion, what aspect of Motherhood should be most celebrated?

My children are 16, 13, and 11. They love the Lord, and they love each other. These years are truly a joy. At this point in my life, I believe that having teenagers that I love being with is cause for celebration!

 5) What led you to write Baby Boot Camp?

My husband and I were teaching a Sunday school class for young married couples. Inevitably, with that age group, people begin building their families. One of the young women in the class, Sondra, had just announced her pregnancy. Her younger brother, however, had just enlisted and was going through boot camp. Her concern for him was beginning to overrule her excitement about being pregnant, and she was sharing his needs with our class. She talked about how he was only getting around five hours of sleep each night, and he had to wolf down every meal. She said he didn’t have time for anything, and his drill sergeant was always yelling about something! To me, her brother’s ordeal sounded eerily like new motherhood–no time to sleep, no time to eat, someone always screaming–and Sondra would be facing similar circumstances in less than eight months. I remembered my first days as a mom, and I wondered if the experience might have gone more smoothly if I’d had someone around to cheer me on. A desire was planted in my heart as I realized I’d love to be there for Sondra, every day of the first six weeks, if I could. That very afternoon I began writing what would be my first published book, Baby Boot Camp, a collection of devotionals designed to encourage and support new moms through the challenging first six weeks of motherhood.

 6) What Bible verse(s) would you say has the most inspiration for you as a mother?        

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6). The world offers tons of advice for raising children. Family and friends do, too. But the best place to go for inspiration and motivation in raising our children is straight to God’s Word. Go to His Word, and you will find all the help you need. Ask Him to lead you to resources that are biblically-based. 

 7) How did you come to the decision to homeschool your children? Any advice for other mothers contemplating this route?

Lauren, this could be a very long answer! :) Briefly, however, the decision was made over many years. I was thinking about homeschooling before I even had children. God put people and resources in our path that caused my husband and me to investigate homeschooling as an alternative to traditional education. As time went on, we realized that we were not simply making a decision, we were responding to a call that God had placed on our lives. I frequently talk to moms who are considering homeschooling, and I always tell them to pray, pray, pray! It has to be something you know you are called to do. Also, you must be in agreement with your husband. It will not work if the two of you are not on the same page. I will also say that I do not regret a single moment of my journey as a homeschooling mom!

 8) How did the idea for your joint blog, Totally New Moms with Sue McRoberts and Arlene Pellicane come to fruition?

This was a God thing. I am a sporadic blogger at best, but blogging is something that I enjoy doing, and I think it’s a great ministry. Teaming up with Sue gave me an incentive because I really wanted to help her give her own ministry and book more exposure. Then God brought Arlene in through an email she sent me. We each have different areas of expertise, but we have the same heart for Jesus. I believe that our blog will be a great place for moms to find the information they need.

 9) If there was one piece of advice you could give to an expectant mother (new or experienced), what would it be and why would this be important for her to hear?

 Your daily time with the Lord, whether you have five minutes or fifty, is something that must be highest priority. Moms tend to put this off and many times believe that it just doesn’t matter. But your relationship with Jesus makes the biggest difference in your life and in your parenting! Author Anne Ortlund said that you can soak yourself in His Word if you really want to! Put verses up around the house. Keep a Bible under the sink in the bathroom so you can read from it while your little one plays in the tub. Focus on Him and make your constant prayer, “Lord, teach me to love you.” He is faithful, and He will do it. And you must pray for your child. God knows your child’s needs much better than you do. He also knows His plan and purpose for your child’s life. Leading our children in the way He has for them is their only assurance of being truly fulfilled. Some people look all their lives for that “something” that is missing. They are looking for Jesus. As moms, we have the amazing opportunity to point our children to the Savior, Jesus Christ. That should be our goal every day. In order to do that successfully, we must be sure that our hearts are pointed to His.