Tag Archives: self-care

The Insanity of Sickness & Christmas

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Oh how it royally bites to be sick on a holiday. Especially when you’re the one cooking THE MEAL and it’s your first time at the helm for such a big event. I somehow managed to hold it all together and pulled off an awesome Christmas Lunch of (get this) Roast Beef Tenderloin with Beef Mushroom Sauce, Carrot Souffle, Green Bean Bundles, Creamed Corn, and Yorkshire Pudding. I baked a Scripture Cake the night before in honor of the man of the day, Jesus.

Yet once I stopped moving frantically about in the kitchen and sat down, my body realized the rush was over and apparently gave itself permission to implode.

My left hip? Out of alignment for the better part of the afternoon and evening. Only heat and a whopping dose of Tylenol and Ibuprofen cleared that up. And thank goodness it did because I was unable to bear weight on my left side without almost collapsing and crying outloud.

My head and chest? Obscenely Congested. Tylenol Cold did nothing for me. Ended up making a Walgreens run at 10p last night for myself and for Cameron. I got Severe Cold Meds and Nasal Spray. He got a little Flowing Vapors desk thingy by Triaminic. (Have I mentioned Charlotte’s sick too?)

All of this started last Friday when Alli was coughing slightly. The cough got worse and by Sunday evening I was at the ER with her. First thing I did when we got ushered back to a room? Turned on the NY Giants game! (Thank GOD they won!) She had to get a strep swab, flu swab (which is a nasal swab and not an easy thing to watch), take some ibuprofen and tylenol, get some chest x-rays, get said x-rays done again, and finally ended up with a diagnosis of Possible Pneumonia. She was given antibiotics there and we were sent home with a prescription. Half an hour after she took the antibiotics she threw up. Repeated this again in the morning when we tried to give Motrin. Off to the ped’s office with a feverish uncooperative toddler in tow.

Much of this past week has been spent in a headlock with Alli to get her to take her meds and trying to conserve the tissue use because her nose has been running a freakishly long marathon. We’re all coughing (except for Chris) and today has found me in bed for the better part of it – I’ve been awake a couple of times but not very long. I’m due to take some more medicine here shortly (I think – how bad is that!) and am ready to crawl back into bed and rest. I just can’t take being awake anymore. My head is pouding, my voice has apparently bought the last ticket to Clarksville, and this cough and congestion is driving me insane.

And for the record, Chris has been absolutely awesome today. He’s really taken the reigns and let me pass out. I can’t even begin to express how much that has meant to me!

So forgive me if I haven’t posted much the past week or don’t post much for the next few days. I’m taking my own advice and doing some much needed self-care.

Self-Care is the most important care of all!

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I know I’ve been slacking on the blog. Not posting as much as usual.

This is because I have been practicing what I preach.

I have been taking care of myself and my family – all other projects have been put on the shelf and are only worked on as I can get to them.

We’re all still a smidge under the weather and to top things off, we’ve now joined the ranks of millions of Americans in the unemployment realm. We understand cut-backs needed to be made. We’re not angry. In fact, we see this as a door opening rather than closing. Both of us have a wonderful sense of peace surrounding the entire situation.

That being said, my family and myself will always come first. So if you’re a regular and I don’t post for a few days, send a prayer or two our way and know that I will be back when I get a chance – haven’t forgotten about you – merely walkin’ the walk!

Cultural Traditions and PPD

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Knowing what we do about PPD risk factors including lack of social support and financial struggles, I have begun to wonder if Cultural Celebrations and support of new mothers has an impact on whether or not she experiences Postpartum Depression. As I researched for this morning’s Did You Know piece for the blog, I came across a fascinating article that brought an important point to the forefront of my mind. Many other cultures do celebrate the birth of a child and motherhood but what do we do for new moms here in America? Nothing. The child is born and then bam. Out the door into the cold world goes mom – struggling not only with the physiological effects of childbirth but also the psychological effects, including the sudden shift of attention from her (as the pregnant woman) to the newborn infant. She is pushed aside and left behind. Why is it we do this? How has this happened? The article I read suggested the American Job Market has effectively dismantled the family dynamic through the need for relocation related to employment and thereby denigrated the opportunity continued guidance and support from immediate family members – ie, the passing down of child-rearing knowledge and support from mother to daughter. I myself have been a victim of this very phenomenom as I moved nearly 400 miles away from my family to find work. I do call my mother quite a bit but it is no substitute for in-person care and guidance. There needs to be a shift in American Culture to truly celebrate the mother as well as the child after birth. An increase in coverage by insurance companies to pay for doula care after the birth of a child, making standard designing a plan of postpartum care within the constructs of the OB or pre-natal visits. We are so conditioned to prepare for the BABY we have forgotten to prepare for our care. We cannot afford to do this any longer.

One of THOSE days

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The girls tried to make themselves breakfast again this morning. Apparently cheese toast and bacon were on the menu along with Good n Plenty, Belly Flops, and some sort of strawberry candy. I have no idea what they were planning on doing with the Fondue Pot. Frankly I am not sure I want to know.

I just realized today was so hectic I forgot to take my meds but I’m still here and very calm amazingly enough.

This afternoon was wonderful. They cleaned up their room without too much prodding and even earned a snack and a movie. Then as they moved back to their room to play as I cooked dinner, silence. For those of you who have never experienced toddlers, silence is a bad thing. A very bad thing. It means they are up to no good. This time they had the sample of Snuggle that had just come in the mail and were pouring it everywhere. I herded them to the tub, rinsed them off, and put them to bed. Yes, without dinner. I do not cook meals for those who choose to disobey. Bedtime went rather smoothly with Charlotte – Alli was another story altogether. I had to get the Magic Monster Catcher (a handheld vaccuum) and catch all the Monsters in their room, assure her the very dead bug on the window was OUTSIDE and would not be coming in to get her anytime soon, and let her crawl into bed with Charlotte so she wouldn’t be all alone. Oh the things Parents do to get their kids to go to sleep.

As I sit here typing, the comforting roar of traffic echoes in the background while the fans here in the house whine and sway as they keep me cool. No sounds from the back bedroom (ok, so silence is GOOD when they’re SUPPOSED to be quiet) and no sounds from Cameron’s room. Chris is at a step meeting and I am relaxing by venting here and contemplating lying down and catching a few ZZzzzZZZZ’s before Chris gets home so I’ll be able to enjoy his company when he gets here. I may just fix myself a cup of tea and sit here instead.

Thanks for listening and sharing my journey. Please don’t forget to take care of yourselves no matter how hectic the day gets. You ARE ALWAYS worth it.

Nurturing your Soul

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old fashoned photo frazzled momLet’s face it – parenting is rough. I mean, I’d almost rather play full contact football with the NY Giants on the really hard days. I certainly feel like I have at the end of the day. It’s at the end of those days especially that I force myself to sit back and nurture my soul. I’ve nurtured everyone else’s by then and doggone it, I deserve some lovin’ too.

As moms with PPD, we are in a unique class indeed. We marvel at moms in public who seem so put together, at moms in playgroup who calmly soothe their babies. We wonder what is wrong with us and why we are not like that. We need an entirely different set of skills and yet there is no one nearby to share these skills with us and sadly many of us are left to fend for ourselves as families find more and more distance between what used to be right next door or down the street.

Thankfully PPD is becoming more and more recognized and more information is available to us today than ever before. Slowly the stigma is being removed and women and even lawmakers are talking about PPD and coming up with solutions. In the meantime, all we can do is keep the communication lines open, learning to ask for help as well as accept help when it is offered.

I will start by sharing a few methods I’ve used to get through what I call “High Stress Moments.” You know, the moments when the baby is screaming (and has been for hours), the dogs are barking, the mailman is banging on the door, the phone starts to ring, the dishes need to be done, your toddler is throwing a tantrum in the middle of the floor because Cookie Monster didn’t pick the right letter for the day and all you want to do is for Calgon to take you away. Now. Actually, five minutes ago would have been perfect.

Tip #1: Prioritize. The baby will be just fine in his or her crib if you need a few moments to yourself, even if you just step outside or go to your room and scream or sob into your pillow. Or write it down and then tear it up if you don’t want anyone to read it. This accomplishes two things – gets it off your chest and soothes the frustration with tearing. (You could also keep bubble wrap around!) And the mailman? Well he can just leave a note. The phone? Thank goodness for voice mail. Leave a message with updates about the baby and informing callers that mom and baby are resting. Visitors? A mom I know created a letter stating what visitors would be expected to do if they came by. She had her midwife sign it to make it official. Another mom I know had a list of stuff to be done on the refrigerator and yet another mom kept her bathrobe at the door so that she could appear to have been napping if anyone happened by.

Tip#2: Take time for you. And yes, that even means just grocery trips by yourself. Never before has a grocery trip been such a luxurious indulgence and I usually treat myself to something special and it does not have to be high in calories or fat. (Although chocolate ice cream is a favorite of mine!)

Tip#3: Make time for you & your significant other. Does not have to be sexual, just a coffee or even a nice dinner at home once baby has gone to bed or nap. Go to the following website: www.postpartumstress.com and click on their Family Support Link. They have a Postpartum Pact for you and your partner to complete. This will help your partner better understand how they can help you. They also have cards you can print out and hand out to loved ones.

Tip#4: Try to educate those around you about PPD. If you are unable to do this on your own, recruit your physician to get handouts and maybe even make an appointment for both you and your loved one to talk with your doctor about PPD.

And last but not least, please remember that you are not alone, you are not to blame, and you will be well with help.