Tag Archives: negative

ppdchat-01-27-14

#PPDChat Topic 1.27.14: Making Unsolicited Advice Turn Into Your Swan

ppdchat-01-27-14

On Sunday evening, a post entitled “Finding Life Beyond My Comfort Zone” poured forth from my soul. This morning, a post entitled “Meeting Enemies Undaunted” spilled forth at almost twice the length of last night’s post. Today’s post was a response to an unpublished comment on Finding Life.

Someone saw fit to recommend that I do “more awesome things than take medicine” for my current bout of depression. Instead of staying angry, I used her comment as fodder for a post to explain why such comments do more harm than good and how we, as those who are brave enough to speak up about our battles, should not allow people like her to ruin any progress we may have made toward healing.

We all have different ideas for how to heal and must do what is best for ourselves. In the same vein, we must respect the educated decisions others have made whether they be on their own or with the help of a professional (that is, unless said person is in crisis, then we must urge them to seek help immediately). Recommending a different course of action when someone has settled on one which is working for them is well, rude.

Do you know the story of the ugly duckling? It is one I grew up hearing quite a bit. A young flapper (or cygnet), somehow ended up with a family of ducks. He looked nothing like his brothers and sisters and was teased mercilessly, labeled ugly for not appearing to be the same. Then, he grew older, matured, and turned into a beautiful swan, one of the most graceful birds in the world.

Then there’s Rudolph – who wasn’t allowed to play any reindeer games until Santa asked him to lead his sleigh.

In both situations (yes, yes, fictional, I know), the main characters took something which was negative and let it go. It is difficult to do. But once you learn to flip the negative on its head, a funny thing happens. Less is negative and your outlook on life brightens. Perhaps not overnight, but over time you find yourself able to see even the most negative of things as a lesson from which to learn.

That’s what today’s chat will focus on – turning the negatives in your life into situations from which you learn valuable positive skills.

Make that unsolicited advice your swan, perhaps even your swan song. Bring down the house with it as you rise up toward joy.

Look forward to seeing you tonight at #PPDChat. Be there at 830pm ET sharp!

Here’s the worksheet, “How to Write Your Swan Song“, which goes along with this chat. Feel free to download it and use it. Let me know how it works out for you!

Ugly Babies and Postnatal Depression? REALLY?

Ok, so there are no words for this one. Maybe there are. But they are not nice ones. I, well, let’s just say some things have slipped out of my mouth in reaction to this doozy that I am not proud of at all. Justified, yes. Nice? Heck no.

Study: “Ugly” Babies and Postnatal Depression

Contact Information for Dr. Reiner Sprengelmeyer

My email to Dr. Reiner Sprengelmeyer just moments ago:

Dear Dr Reiner Sprengelmeyer:

My name is Lauren Hale and I am a two time survivor of Postpartum Obsessive Compulsive Disorder along with a Major Depressive Episode who now dedicates her time providing peer support and education to families who find themselves struggling with a Perinatal Mood Disorder or Paternal Postnatal Depression. I also blog – something I started doing after discovering an unplanned third pregnancy.

I read an article today regarding the recent research you did in which the cuteness sensitivity of young women, men, and menopausal women towards babies was studied. At the end of the article, it stated the researchers planned to study further to uncover if there was a link between the cuteness and Postnatal Depression. I have to admit that I find this vein of research very difficult to understand and I am hoping you would be willing to shed some light on how any conclusion of this research would end in a positive for women struggling with Postnatal Depression. I can tell you that both of my children with whom I suffered PPD are absolutely beautiful and we have constantly been stopped by strangers (and continue to be even now when they are older) to be told how beautiful our children are. How do you dare to even imply to a mother who is already grappling with tremendous guilt about her depressed state that it *may* have something to do with her “ugly” baby? If there is any sympathetic bone in your body, please do not continue with this research. The conclusions can only lead to negativity and harm. If you feel differently, I sincerely would like to hear your side of the story as to why this research is necessary.

Warmest,

Lauren Hale

And that’s all I’ve got to say about that. Hrmph.