Tag Archives: Grey’s Anatomy

On Shonda Rhimes, Race, & Postpartum Depression

Last night’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy has some folks flurrying around, claiming it stigmatizes mental illness and does some serious damage to women who struggle with Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorders. (Click here to read more about this battle moms are taking to Shonda’s alleged shaming of Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorders.)

I’d like to take a view that is the polar opposite of being infuriated.

Shonda Rhimes did everything right last night.


(This is where you go elsewhere if you haven’t seen the episode yet and don’t want spoilers – in fact, go get Happy with Pharrell!)

We start the episode out coming back from winter break – we last found out that Kepner & Jackson’s baby has serious issues and Derrick is leaving for DC after a fight with Meredith.

HELLLOOOO STRESS and high tensions.

The opening scene involves Meredith discussing the hiring of a nanny with Callie. The conversation is interrupted by the incoming trauma of a mom who drove off a bridge with her two kids in the car. At this stage, we do not know the ages of the children and I don’t recall if they mention mom is pregnant at this time (ie, no need to jump to the PMAD hopscotch square yet). Meredith remarks, as everyone starts to walk, “Maybe she needed a nanny.”

Doesn’t every mom need a nanny at some point or other? Why does this imply a mental illness? It doesn’t. It implies motherhood is fucking difficult and sometimes, mom just needs some help (which we do).

Then, we fast forward to another scene where Dad arrives at the hospital after Mom has, only armed with the knowledge that there was an accident and believes someone has pushed his wife’s car off a bridge. He’s dumbfounded to find out it was his wife who was the driver – and rightfully so. Would you truly believe that your spouse were capable of driving off a bridge?

Stephanie interviews the husband as doctors and nurses prep his wife in a room, asking him if there’s anything he had noticed about her that – he interrupts, and says “You mean do I think she’s crazy? No! Absolutely not!” He then sits down and starts to list signs he’d noticed – fatigue, forgetting things, stressed, etc. Admits he’s been working a lot of hours and perhaps hadn’t been paying attention like he should have been.

Meredith, meanwhile, becomes the woman’s advocate and pushes back against any judgement implying the patient is, for lack of a better word, crazy. In fact, Meredith is the one to push for a physical diagnosis of her behaviour instead of a psychiatric one.

In the second half of the episode, the husband breaks down with Jackson, weeping, asking how on earth he could have missed this and how could he have been prepared for something like this to happen? Of course this hits Jackson hard as he is facing the birth of a child with serious health issues.

April, in her own personal hell after learning the situation with her own unborn child, goes on the most glaring rant against the patient’s behaviour.   Callie attempts to calm her down but doesn’t really get anywhere. April’s reaction, to me, was completely justified because she’s reacting from a place of hurt and is projecting.

Here’s how I saw the episode go down, in bullet points:

  • Situation/stigma presented (start in the messy)
  • Situation/stigma delved into
  • Situation/stigma pushed back against

How often do we see a show that deals with a Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorder by introducing the stigma, toying with it, but not dealing with it and instead treating it like the elephant in the room?

Grey’s didn’t do that last night.


In fact, they brought the stigma in, expanded it by using a woman and family of colour, and then they smashed right through every single damn stigma aspect they introduced.

And yet, that’s still not enough.

A groundbreaking episode presented to us on a popular television show run by the ONLY woman of colour in TV running things right now and that’s STILL NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

What the actual hell?

I watched the episode, waiting for the horror to unveil itself. Instead, I found myself agreeing with every single situation I had seen bashed as being handled poorly. Every single situation in this episode seen as “stigmatizing” simply WAS NOT STIGMATIZING. AT ALL.

I expected one of the children to be an infant. But nope. Well out of toddler years for both children.

There was simply no reason to fly off the handle for this episode. None. Except wait, the line where someone mutters “crazy moms who…” We push back against this as hard as we can with facts, with exposure of what it’s really like to live with a Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorder. Guess what? Even though last night’s mom didn’t have a PMAD? They pushed back. They had a solid grasp on reality and they exposed it. Reality is, this is where we are as a culture – and that isn’t going to change over night. I, for one, welcome a show which is willing to push the boundaries of stigma and what exists there but also be willing to yank it back. Because in reality? Not everything is neatly tied up and beautiful replete with facts and details.

Shonda Rhimes starts where it’s messy. Then she wades through it and brings it to conclusion. Does it end up where we want it to? No. But you know what? It starts with what we recognize as a CULTURE. Is that right? Not yet. But we’re getting there and last night’s episode of Grey’s acknowledged that in a big way because it:

  • introduced a woman of colour who did something unspeakable
  • had the husband deal with it appropriately
  • involved the staff reacting in an appropriate medical manner without judging mom

In my book, that’s GROUNDBREAKING, not shameful. Not at all.

Thank you, Shonda Rhimes, for putting this episode together and doing so in a respectful and mindful manner. Keep that up.


Patrick Dempsey VIR June 14 2012

Dempsey races into the #PPDChat world

McDreamy. That’s how most women in America refer to the fabulous Patrick Dempsey. Then we sigh and our minds wander. There’s just something about him, isn’t there?

In addition to the portrayal of Dr. Derek Shepherd on Grey’s Anatomy, Patrick Dempsey also races cars. He’s been racing through Dempsey Racing, which formed in 2002. Racing is so important to Dempsey that recent contract negotiations for his continued appearance on Grey’s hinge on his ability to have time off to race – “The biggest point for me in negotiations is getting time off to come race, so if I don’t miss races, I’ll probably stay on ‘Grey’s Anatomy.’”  (quote source: Huffington Post)

Not too far away from where I’m currently living is Virginia International Raceway, or VIR as it’s known to locals and racing enthusiasts. Back in June, American LeMans held a test day at VIR for several teams. I had no idea when my dad first mentioned going that Dempsey would be there. All I cared about was seeing the amazing cars.

I’ve been watching non-Nascar racing for quite some time now. We primarily watch F1 but given that there are no F1 tracks nearby, we settle for Grand-Am and now American LeMans if local events are attended.

I woke up early on June 14th to make the trek to VIR with my dad. After we paid for our entrance, we made our way to the Oak Tree corner to get started. The first race car came screaming around the curve, leaving me breathless. Then we went down to the top of the RollerCoaster, which was where I first saw Dempsey’s car pop over the hill. Only I didn’t know it was Dempsey’s car. It was quite simply, the most beautiful vehicle I’d ever seen on a racetrack.

It wasn’t until later in the day while meandering around the Pits that I realized Dempsey Racing was there. Then we overheard some VIR employees discussing his performance the day before. I whispered to my dad that if Patrick was indeed there, I simply had to meet him and he had to get a picture.

Dempsey’s car in the garage

As we continued to wander down through Pit Row, the sky darkened and we decided to go grab some lunch. Rain dropped down on us right as we reached the concession area but cleared up before we were through with our BBQ sandwiches and beer. We headed back over to Pit Row as all drivers are required to take at least an hour break during test days.

Thankfully, (or luckily) we managed to see Patrick as he stepped out of his trailer. He is a genuinely nice guy. The picture above was taken very quickly as he was heading somewhere on a scooter shortly after. He took the time to chat with my dad for a few minutes though and I was left in awe that I’d just met McDreamy.

This is where the story gets interesting.

I tweeted about meeting him (in a very 14 year old giggly girl manner):

So….I just met Patrick Dempsey. SQUEEEE.

— Lauren Hale (@unxpctdblessing) June 14, 2012


My phone barely had any power left but I received this response:

@unxpctdblessing Saw ur tweet re: Patrick (awesome, isn’t he?!) BUT my BFF suffers from PPD & PP psychosis. Reading website, linking her!!

— Erin (@lainey_vb131) June 14, 2012


So you see – Dempsey has this knack for saving lives and playing the hero without even trying.

@lainey_vb131 participated in #ppdchat the following week and still follows the chat, finding support with us even though she herself doesn’t suffer from Postpartum Depression.

When you do something you truly love, everything in your life is touched by it and nothing you do escapes without somehow translating into your primary function in life. Things like this prove again to me that I’m meant to help others with their journey through Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorders. I’ve been struggling a bit with that but it’s what’s in my heart and what will always be in my heart. Just like racing is what’s in Patrick’s. Well, that, and heroically saving lives. Even when he doesn’t realize he’s doing so.

Thank you Patrick, for taking just a few seconds to say hi to me and agreeing to a quick picture. Because of your graciousness, another mom found my blog and the community surrounding it –so did her best friend– and now they are no longer alone. You rock.