*Today’s announcement is pink in memory of Kristine Brite’s daughter Cora. If you are not easily triggered or not fragile right now, please visit her website to learn more about Kristine and her amazing mission in life.
I’m currently taking suggestions for tomorrow’s #PPDChat at Twitter.
So far, I’ve had three fellow Twitizens chime in:
@kfgrum: @unxpctdblessing What about: What we can do to bounce back when triggered? or How we deal with those that don’t understand.
d20Blonde: @unxpctdblessing I’m interested in talking about life *after* #ppd and #ppa
Freelancer4Hire: @unxpctdblessing Not “PPD” but I would love 2 chat about prenatal depression.PPD is becoming more understood,prenatal dep is still a mystery
All GREAT suggestions indeed. Keep them coming! We may not pick your topic for tomorrow but rest assured we’ll get to it eventually! This chat is all about you and what you want or need to get off your chest or have questions about. Use your voice and speak up!
(I need them before 8pm so I can create the snazzy graphic for tomorrow’s announcement post!)
It’s Monday night as I type this. I’ve just arrived home from a small gathering at which Henci Goer spoke. I’m tired. I can’t see straight. But this is important.
I am not sure how Amanda (@whodemis) found me on Twitter. Perhaps through the new friend suggestion feature, perhaps via #PPDChat or another common acquaintance. Regardless, we’re on Twitter together.
Tonight, she posted a very moving blog about her recent miscarriage.
As @KristineBrite wrote about some time ago, there does not have to be a baby in order for mom to suffer psychological distress. A mom who has lost her baby regardless of when, still hurts. And we may not know what to say to her as she struggles to make sense of her world which has just for all intense and purposes, been dumped upside much like a snow globe. All the pieces are still up in the air and she is uncertain as to where they will land.
Without further ado, I want to share her post, Unplanned, with you. Please know though that it is intense emotionally so if you’re feeling fragile and vulnerable, you may want to skip this read.
Amanda – my heart goes out to you as you move through this. You and your family are in my prayers.
I would be a hypocrite if I did not take time for myself. After all, that’s what I firmly advocate for moms who contact me. We absolutely need time for ourselves so we can thrive and our families can then thrive.
Lately, it’s been hard for me to do just that. Not so much because I don’t want to but because I have been awful at making time for myself. But I’m having to shuffle my priorities and force myself to do so.
Sometimes, the blog may go quiet for a bit. It’s not because I don’t care. (I’ll never stop caring) It’s not because I don’t want to blog. It’s because I need a break.
I know life gets crazy for everyone. Here lately, it’s been very crazy as of late.
The trip to Austin for the PSI fundraiser was a lovely break. However, the craziness started before my journey to Texas.
In late April, my husband was laid off.
Sick kids.
School got out for the summer.
Back on government assistance. Which, by the way, is NOT easy to qualify for as they want every single last document under the sun and it’s all due 10 days before they send you a letter (and yes, I got a letter like that). They really work against you to keep you off the system. And what really sucks is that with hubs’ job, we were finally phasing out of needing the assistance.
He gets unemployment but it’s not nearly enough to support a family of five. So I’m looking for a job. And that means I may have to cut what I do here unless I can find some sort of financial support for the blog soon. Sadly, it may even affect my ability to participate in #PPDChat. That makes me very sad. It makes me especially sad because I know I won’t be happy doing anything else but supporting moms. I truly feel it is what I was called to do and I know in my heart I am good at what I do here at Postpartum Voice, Twitter, and other websites.
Hubs is working at getting his own computer biz started. He’s great at repairing and working on computers so he’s getting that on the road right now. He has one regular business client at the moment and some random individual clients as well. It’s growing but again, it’s tough going out there these days.
This summer also saw a very stressful situation between myself and a family member. I am not going to go into details but suffice it to say it led to some of my worst days since the depths of hell with my Postpartum mood disorder. The end of that week found me in tears and watching four and a half hours of stand up comedy. That was followed by a severe adrenaline withdrawal.
The next week was Austin. Austin was great. Until I came home. My original flight was canceled and I did not leave the airport until nearly 6 hours after that flight. I have never been so happy to be back in Atlanta!
The following day, my 4yo started Pre-k.
The next day, my 6yo had her tonsils out so she was home for a week.
Then my 4yo got sick this past weekend.
Now hubs is sick, 2yo is showing signs of getting sick, I’ve got PMS, the dog is scratching and licking places she really shouldn’t be on a constant basis because of her allergies (and no, Benadryl doesn’t work – bathing her a minimum of once a day does), our washer is on the fritz and will flood the back porch in the blink of an eye if you leave it alone at the wrong time, and… ugh. See the damned snowball in Georgia? That’s my life. And I am not coping well with it right now.
Today though, the girls are back in school. Hubs just left for a computer job for his business client and Cameron is (somewhat) playing independently as I type this.
I had a huge vision for this blog when I revamped it and am hoping to get to these changes soon – I really want to start posting a vlog for my Just Talking Tuesday posts. And WordPress has recently introduced this new service which allows us to PHONE in our blog posts. How cool is that???
I also want to start a forum for readers to share with one another.
But right now, I need to take care of me before I can take care of others. So if I don’t post for a few days, it’s not because I don’t love you. It’s not because I’ve stopped caring. It’s because I’m simply practicing what I preach and taking care of me so I CAN take care of others. I don’t deserve any less. And neither do you.
Most nights lately have found me passed out on the couch after the kids are in bed. Last night my husband tried to wake me up and get me to go to bed. I fell asleep in the middle of tweeting, y’all. In the middle of TWEETING! That’s tired.
Please pray for us as we move through this tough time in our lives. Pray that my husband is able to expand his business quickly. Pray that somehow I manage to get financial support for the blog worked out. I’ll be putting up a page soon specifying a wish-list of needs. First things first, I’d have to go to self-hosted in order to do any sort of ads. If I do run ads, rest assured that I will vet any and all support for moms and will NOT under any circumstances allow the placement of ads for any medication or supplements on my blog. I will remain committed to supporting moms in whatever choices they have made without judgment. We all have to walk our own path and deserve to do so without guilt brought on by the judgment of others.
Thanks for reading.
I’m going to close my laptop after I hit publish and go talk my son out of wearing his sister’s tennis shoes.
