Faith & Motherhood: Lean Hard

Cast thy burden upon the Lord and He shall sustain thee.

~Psalms 55:22~

Not too long ago, as I was cleaning out a closet, I came across a Bible I used as a child. I had not seen this Bible in a very long time. Flipping through it undiscovered a further treasure. A handwritten note by my Grandmother Jane, who passed away several years ago.

The note is entitled “Lean Hard” and begins with the above verse. Turns out it is a poem written by May Prentiss Smith.

Child of My love, lean hard,
And let Me feel the pressure of thy care;
I know thy burden, child, I shaped it;
Poised it in My own hand, made no proportion
in its weight to thine unaided strength;
For even as I laid it on, I said
I shall be near, and while he leans on Me,
This burden shall be Mine, not his;
So shall I keep My child within the circling
arms of My own love.
Here lay it down, nor fear to impose it on a
shoulder which upholds the government of
worlds.
Yet closer come; thou art not near enough;
I would embrace thy care so I might feel My
child reposing on My breast.
Thou lovest Me? I know it. Doubt not then;
But, loving Me, Lean Hard.”
~May Prentiss Smith~

As Mothers, we are often the ones to whom our children rely upon when they are scared, upset, or need comforting. Once within the safety of our arms, our children will often nestle their heads on our chests. They find solace with us, instinctively. So it should be in our relationship with the Lord.

Whenever I find myself struggling in my faith for the Lord, I think of my children. When they hurt, are scared, or need comforting, they run to me without question. Inside my arms are where they feel safe. Therefore, when I am scared, hurt, or need comforting, I should also seek comfort within the arms of the Lord just as simply as my children do with me.

Despite my experience with Postpartum Depression which is supposed to interfere with bonding, my children still seek solace in my arms. Even though we have faced challenges together, we still cling to each other and to the Lord. We have learned to lean hard in our times of need. At first it was a hard action for me to learn. Gradually it was easier and easier until eventually leaning hard was a reflex instead of an afterthought.

Just as with any other habit – it takes time to develop. Many research says it takes a minimum of 21 days to develop a new routine or habit. For the next 21 days, make it a habit to pray and give to God anything which worries you or makes you anxious. Ask Him to help you lean hard upon him in your time of need as well as in your time of cheer. Eventually, you’ll be doing this without even thinking about it. He will carry you through your storms. He wants to carry you through your storms. It’s up to you to let Him carry you as you carry your child when they need you most. Take a deep breath and fall into His breast. Let His arms encircle you. Feel the warmth of His love build within your heart and soul. The change trusting in the Lord will make in your life is immeasurable.

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Saturday Sundries 02.19.11: Talking with your kids about Postpartum Mood Disorders

Hey y’all!  This will be a short yet important post. I’m in the car on my way to the circus in Atlanta with the family. I planned to blog last night but fell asleep on the couch after watching Grey’s.  Woke up long enough to crawl into bed. So here I am. Blogging from my phone at 70mph. Don’t worry. I’m not driving.

Some of you may have older children in the home when Postpartum strikes. They already have a lot to deal with when a baby joins the family. Their role in the family may change from only child to oldest child from youngest to middle child and so on. Issues of jealousy may enter the picture as a result.

Then Postpartum strikes.

Older children may react in one of two primary ways:

  • Self-blame for parental depression
  • Projected blame onto their new sibling for the cause of parental depression

The most important thing kids need to hear is that a parent’s depression is NOT their fault.

I know that’s hard to do when you’re in the midst of hell. We did not talk with our oldest before my Postpartum experience with our second. I had Postpartum with our oldest as well.

We did talk to our daughters about what might happen with Mommy after she had their brother though.  We drove home that it was not anyone’s fault…. not theirs, not their brother’s,  not daddy’s,  not mommy’s. Then, as a family, we brainstormed ways they could help Mommy if she got sad or angry after baby arrived. My oldest planned to tickle Postpartum Depression into oblivion.

Thankfully I did not have Postpartum after the birth of our son. But our daughters knew how to help mommy and would even ask how I was feeling. I think they were looking for an excuse to tickle me!!!

Bottom line: Talk to your kids. Use language appropriate for their age. Answer their questions in an age appropriate manner. Reinforce that Postpartum is not anyone’s fault. Reassure them that Mommy or Daddy will get well. Recruit family members to take older siblings out to do activities and keep their schedule as normal as possible.

Depression affects the entire family but with careful planning your family can come through with flying colors.

Postpartum Voice of the Week: @HeatherColeman’s Ignite DC speech

Ignite is an awesome concept. They organize gatherings which give ordinary people like you and me just 5 minutes to get up in front of a bunch of people with the goal of “igniting” them to action.

Not too long ago, Heather Coleman shared her story anonymously over at Katherine Stone’s blog, Postpartum Progress. Heather’s story is intense as it involves details of a Psychotic Break. But it’s also inspiring because people stopped to help her as she struggled during the darkest moments of her life.

I am glad Heather has grown bolder in sharing her story as it is an important story to share. I applaud the courage it took to get up in front of a room full of strangers to tell her story.

Thank you for walking to the front of that room, Heather. Thank you for sharing your journey with them. And with us. You rock.

Go watch her amazing video here. But first, get some Kleenex.

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Whatever Wednesday: The Case of the Shanghai’d Shrimp

Since a few days before New Years, I have been working very hard at losing weight and getting into shape. I’m happy to report I have lost 20 pounds and am still going strong. I have a long road ahead of me but I have no doubt that I will get to my goal one day. Going back to where I was is simply not an option.

As part of this venture to get healthy, we have been eating a lot of Lean Cuisine meals. They’re affordable, quick, and easy. With three kids around, it’s very important to keep things affordable, quick, and easy. They’re all absolutely delicious too. Lean Cuisine has a new product line out called “Market Creations.” These steam right in the bag and up until Sunday, they have been hands down my favorite meals from Lean Cuisine. (FYI, no, there is no give-away and no, I’ve not been compensated. But you’ll figure that out in a minute.)

Sunday night I sat down to chow down on a new Market Creation, Shanghai Shrimp. Luscious Shrimp, udon noodles, spices, green and yellow pepper strips and we’re talking heaven. Things went horribly wrong with this one though. Horribly & wickedly wrong. And then Arcade Fire blinded me.

The following is the actual letter I whipped up and sent off to Lean Cuisine via their Customer Contact page at their website.

Enjoy!

Thrilled to finally see Shanghai Shrimp Market Creations at my local Kroger, I snagged it and brought it home with me along with a surprise picnic meal for my kids.

My kids had a blast, I let them run, play, scream, go crazy. They did so to the fullest. I rested easy in knowing I had my yummy Shanghai Shrimp waiting for me.

Finally, the kids went to bed once Daddy got home with our eldest after their night out. Bedtime was tougher than usual. But I rested easy. Shanghai Shrimp would save me.

I popped the bag in the microwave, punched in the required 5:30 and began the wait. I cracked open a beer. A delicious waft of Asian flavors soared through the air, both tempting and soothing me. Finally. BEEEEEEP.

Ahhhhh.

I grabbed a bowl, poured the heavenly Shangai Shrimp in and headed to the living room with my dinner and beer, sitting down to watch the Grammys.

But wait … what is this? It’s gummy. Gritty. Fleshy… Oh no.. it can’t be… an uncooked shrimp! Are there more? Has my Shrimp been Shanghai’d?

Alas, there were more. Two at least for a total of three uncooked shrimp.

What had gone wrong? I followed the instructions. I laid the bag down ever so carefully with the proper side facing up.. left it in the microwave for the recommended amount of time.

Sadly, I made the decision to share my Shanghai Shrimp with our trash can, wailing and gnashing my teeth the whole way.

I snatched my Thai Chicken Lean Cuisine from the freezer, the one that was to be my lunch tomorrow. It now awaits me in the microwave.

My beer is warmer.

And I am sadder, left with a stomach and tongue craving Shanghai Shrimp.

I do not know if I will ever recover. I know one thing for sure. I will never buy Shanghai Shrimp again, no matter how much my poor tongue and stomach beg me to do so.

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