Since a few days before New Years, I have been working very hard at losing weight and getting into shape. I’m happy to report I have lost 20 pounds and am still going strong. I have a long road ahead of me but I have no doubt that I will get to my goal one day. Going back to where I was is simply not an option.

As part of this venture to get healthy, we have been eating a lot of Lean Cuisine meals. They’re affordable, quick, and easy. With three kids around, it’s very important to keep things affordable, quick, and easy. They’re all absolutely delicious too. Lean Cuisine has a new product line out called “Market Creations.” These steam right in the bag and up until Sunday, they have been hands down my favorite meals from Lean Cuisine. (FYI, no, there is no give-away and no, I’ve not been compensated. But you’ll figure that out in a minute.)

Sunday night I sat down to chow down on a new Market Creation, Shanghai Shrimp. Luscious Shrimp, udon noodles, spices, green and yellow pepper strips and we’re talking heaven. Things went horribly wrong with this one though. Horribly & wickedly wrong. And then Arcade Fire blinded me.

The following is the actual letter I whipped up and sent off to Lean Cuisine via their Customer Contact page at their website.

Enjoy!

Thrilled to finally see Shanghai Shrimp Market Creations at my local Kroger, I snagged it and brought it home with me along with a surprise picnic meal for my kids.

My kids had a blast, I let them run, play, scream, go crazy. They did so to the fullest. I rested easy in knowing I had my yummy Shanghai Shrimp waiting for me.

Finally, the kids went to bed once Daddy got home with our eldest after their night out. Bedtime was tougher than usual. But I rested easy. Shanghai Shrimp would save me.

I popped the bag in the microwave, punched in the required 5:30 and began the wait. I cracked open a beer. A delicious waft of Asian flavors soared through the air, both tempting and soothing me. Finally. BEEEEEEP.

Ahhhhh.

I grabbed a bowl, poured the heavenly Shangai Shrimp in and headed to the living room with my dinner and beer, sitting down to watch the Grammys.

But wait … what is this? It’s gummy. Gritty. Fleshy… Oh no.. it can’t be… an uncooked shrimp! Are there more? Has my Shrimp been Shanghai’d?

Alas, there were more. Two at least for a total of three uncooked shrimp.

What had gone wrong? I followed the instructions. I laid the bag down ever so carefully with the proper side facing up.. left it in the microwave for the recommended amount of time.

Sadly, I made the decision to share my Shanghai Shrimp with our trash can, wailing and gnashing my teeth the whole way.

I snatched my Thai Chicken Lean Cuisine from the freezer, the one that was to be my lunch tomorrow. It now awaits me in the microwave.

My beer is warmer.

And I am sadder, left with a stomach and tongue craving Shanghai Shrimp.

I do not know if I will ever recover. I know one thing for sure. I will never buy Shanghai Shrimp again, no matter how much my poor tongue and stomach beg me to do so.