Rainbow by Tom Gill @ flickr.com Link below
Sit in reverie and watch the changing color of the waves that break upon the idle seashore of the mind.
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow~
t-shirt photo sourced from http://www.sxc.hu/photo/1185427 Text added by Lauren Hale
Our family does not believe in visiting the pediatrician once in awhile.
No, we like to clump all our visits together. When I say together, I mean one right after another. We have visited the pediatrician’s office three times in one week, one appointment per kid.
Why can’t they get sick together??
Since the beginning of February we have all had some sort of ickiness. Our youngest was diagnosed with the flu. Our daughters both had the ickiness plus an ear infection a piece.
Oh, and then there’s the broken middle finger.
Our daughters were sick together. I took them to the pediatrician. As we got out of the car, my middle daughter wrapped her hand around the middle column of the car doors. I slammed my door shut. On her fingers. She immediately began to scream. Tears flooded her face. I asked what was wrong. She couldn’t tell me. Finally she pointed to her hand. Barely sticking out were her fingertips. My heart caught in my throat as I reached in to unlock the door. I fumbled and finally pulled the button upward. Grabbing the handle, I flung the door open and freed my poor daughter’s hand.
We got inside and I asked for ice.
Keep in mind that this poor girl is ALREADY SICK. Fever, sore throat, absolutely miserable thing.
We were sent for x-ray after her appointment.
I got a call the following day telling me that her middle finger was broken. The nearest orthopedist? 30 minutes away. Our appointment was in the morning. I had to get x-rays to take with me and make it to the appointment by 10am.
The orthopedist said the finger was barely broken, just a hairline fracture. We could buddy tape it for comfort if we wanted. Taping lasted a day and a half as our four year old kept pulling it off.
This past Monday I took her back to check healing progress. She’s just fine, I’m happy to report. I know my heart will soon heal but for days I felt horrible guilt for having broken a bone in my precious daughter’s body. It’s our responsibility to keep our children safe. I failed. I beat myself up royally for a few days. My husband assured me he had even warned our daughter to keep her hands out of that space in the car prior to my accident. I’m making peace with the fact that accidents happen. Certainly doesn’t make it hurt less but it helps. She’s been a trooper through all of this – bragging that her finger doesn’t even hurt.
And no, I didn’t really get a t-shirt. But I totally should have.
Cast thy burden upon the Lord and He shall sustain thee.
~Psalms 55:22~
Not too long ago, as I was cleaning out a closet, I came across a Bible I used as a child. I had not seen this Bible in a very long time. Flipping through it undiscovered a further treasure. A handwritten note by my Grandmother Jane, who passed away several years ago.
The note is entitled “Lean Hard” and begins with the above verse. Turns out it is a poem written by May Prentiss Smith.
Child of My love, lean hard,
And let Me feel the pressure of thy care;
I know thy burden, child, I shaped it;
Poised it in My own hand, made no proportion
in its weight to thine unaided strength;
For even as I laid it on, I said
I shall be near, and while he leans on Me,
This burden shall be Mine, not his;
So shall I keep My child within the circling
arms of My own love.
Here lay it down, nor fear to impose it on a
shoulder which upholds the government of
worlds.
Yet closer come; thou art not near enough;
I would embrace thy care so I might feel My
child reposing on My breast.
Thou lovest Me? I know it. Doubt not then;
But, loving Me, Lean Hard.”
~May Prentiss Smith~
As Mothers, we are often the ones to whom our children rely upon when they are scared, upset, or need comforting. Once within the safety of our arms, our children will often nestle their heads on our chests. They find solace with us, instinctively. So it should be in our relationship with the Lord.
Whenever I find myself struggling in my faith for the Lord, I think of my children. When they hurt, are scared, or need comforting, they run to me without question. Inside my arms are where they feel safe. Therefore, when I am scared, hurt, or need comforting, I should also seek comfort within the arms of the Lord just as simply as my children do with me.
Despite my experience with Postpartum Depression which is supposed to interfere with bonding, my children still seek solace in my arms. Even though we have faced challenges together, we still cling to each other and to the Lord. We have learned to lean hard in our times of need. At first it was a hard action for me to learn. Gradually it was easier and easier until eventually leaning hard was a reflex instead of an afterthought.
Just as with any other habit – it takes time to develop. Many research says it takes a minimum of 21 days to develop a new routine or habit. For the next 21 days, make it a habit to pray and give to God anything which worries you or makes you anxious. Ask Him to help you lean hard upon him in your time of need as well as in your time of cheer. Eventually, you’ll be doing this without even thinking about it. He will carry you through your storms. He wants to carry you through your storms. It’s up to you to let Him carry you as you carry your child when they need you most. Take a deep breath and fall into His breast. Let His arms encircle you. Feel the warmth of His love build within your heart and soul. The change trusting in the Lord will make in your life is immeasurable.
Hey y’all! This will be a short yet important post. I’m in the car on my way to the circus in Atlanta with the family. I planned to blog last night but fell asleep on the couch after watching Grey’s. Woke up long enough to crawl into bed. So here I am. Blogging from my phone at 70mph. Don’t worry. I’m not driving.
Some of you may have older children in the home when Postpartum strikes. They already have a lot to deal with when a baby joins the family. Their role in the family may change from only child to oldest child from youngest to middle child and so on. Issues of jealousy may enter the picture as a result.
Then Postpartum strikes.
Older children may react in one of two primary ways:
The most important thing kids need to hear is that a parent’s depression is NOT their fault.
I know that’s hard to do when you’re in the midst of hell. We did not talk with our oldest before my Postpartum experience with our second. I had Postpartum with our oldest as well.
We did talk to our daughters about what might happen with Mommy after she had their brother though. We drove home that it was not anyone’s fault…. not theirs, not their brother’s, not daddy’s, not mommy’s. Then, as a family, we brainstormed ways they could help Mommy if she got sad or angry after baby arrived. My oldest planned to tickle Postpartum Depression into oblivion.
Thankfully I did not have Postpartum after the birth of our son. But our daughters knew how to help mommy and would even ask how I was feeling. I think they were looking for an excuse to tickle me!!!
Bottom line: Talk to your kids. Use language appropriate for their age. Answer their questions in an age appropriate manner. Reinforce that Postpartum is not anyone’s fault. Reassure them that Mommy or Daddy will get well. Recruit family members to take older siblings out to do activities and keep their schedule as normal as possible.
Depression affects the entire family but with careful planning your family can come through with flying colors.