10. Listening to a baby scream can become your new pet peeve.

9. If you breastfeed, your sweet innocent baby will eventually bite. And that hurts.

8. Sleep will become a distant dream. And most likely interrupted by your infant screaming or your toddler trying to put a PB&J sandwich in the DVD player.

7. You will no longer have privacy when you go to the bathroom. No, you will have the pleasure of someone always there, watching you do your “business”. (And eventually, your toddler may cheer for you when you DO go!)

6. Poop smeared on walls is not funny especially if it’s your kid and YOU have to clean it up.

5. One single parenting book will never apply completely to YOUR kid.

4. If you’re not good at quick thinking, you have until your kid starts talking to perfect the art. Once the questions start, they don’t ever stop.

3. You think strangers touching your belly was rough? Wait until they start oohing and ahhhing over the baby and POKING. (and yes, they will do this even if the baby is asleep!)

2. Unsolicited advice will be received almost every single time you’re in public. There’s nothing you can do to stop the stream of suggestions either. I suggest practicing retorts at home. Even if you don’t use them, it’s a good way to release!

1. Speaking of release, the last but final thing no one tells you is that once you become  a parent, your biggest decision of the week will be whether or not to jump on the saddle for a wild ride or under the covers for a good snooze.