Today’s #PPDChat announcement is a slight departure from the norm as we are not using our standard announcement graphic. Today is National Day Without Stigma, according to Active Minds. You can read more about their movement here.
It’s also the 25th anniversary of National Mental Health Awareness week this week.
With both of these in mind, #PPDChat is following suit and will be chatting about signs and symptoms of all that is on the Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorder spectrum this evening at 9pm ET.
We encourage you to join us. Not only on Twitter, but perhaps by downloading some of the tools Active Minds has made available. By calling and checking in on a new mother. By standing with those that you love. By refusing to let stigma keep us silent any longer.
Quite possibly one of the symptoms rarely discussed among women who struggle with Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorders.
I’m not talking anger. I’m talking all out rage. The kind that swallows you whole – the kind that turns Bruce Banner into a green smashing machine known as Hulk. Blinding, numbing, all-out rage.
For me, there was rarely a clear trigger. It just built upon itself, like a runaway Tetris game clogging up the screen.
Tonight, we’re going to talk about rage. How common it really is for moms with a Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorder, how to recognize it, how to cope, and most importantly, how to keep the Hulk from smashing into your life.
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, mothers had help. Entire villages came together to support a new mother after she gave birth. Not one mother was left to her own devices to earn her “brand new I can do all this on my own because I’m a badass” badge. Nope. Not one.
Today, however? Particularly here in the United States, where we are LAST for Maternal Health in developed countries? Dude. Don’t even get me started.
Where is all of this coming from, you might ask? A few weeks ago, I had an interaction with an elderly couple out at a local festival with their granddaughter who was young enough to still need a stroller. Grandpa was trying to fold the stroller up as they waited for their transportation to arrive. He held his granddaughter in his arms and struggled with the stroller with his free arm.
I felt his pain and offered to hold her, if that wasn’t a weird question and it would be okay.
Grandma chimed in and said “Oh, no, it’s not – in our generation, we wouldn’t even think twice about it, plus you have a child with you,” as she motioned to my fiance’s daughter.
I felt like I’d been hit by a ton of bricks.
We wouldn’t even think twice about it….
When did we START thinking about the awkwardness of asking for help? Why did we stop? When did it become NOT okay to accept the help of those around us? Why must we do motherhood on our own? To prove we’re all badasses who can do it all? How’s that working out for us? (It has never worked out for me).
I need my tribe. Even if they’re online. I need SOME sort of a tribe to keep me going, to share my struggles and my victories with – exactly what this post, It Takes a Village to Raise a Mother by Annie Reneau at Motherhood & More says:
“No one understands the challenges of motherhood like other moms. No one can help a mom who is having a fragile, frazzled moment better than a mom who understands being fragile and frazzled. I adore my husband, and he’s extraordinarily supportive, but there are some things he just can’t “get.” So when I need mom commiseration, I talk to my mom friends. Sometimes the sweetest words a mother can hear are, “I feel you, sister.” Or “Yep, me too.” Or, “Let’s have some coffee and regroup.”
Motherhood. It isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s also not meant to be done alone.
Join me tonight at #PPDChat as we explore the nuances of our village, why they’ve disappeared, and how to step out of our comfort zones to mother each other.
This time last Friday, I had just rolled into Boston via Amtrak. I thought I would have to wait until I got into Boston to find other Warrior Mamas but no.. there was one right there on my train. During a stop, she meandered up from her seat and sat with me for the remainder of the ride. Despite never having met in person before, we sat there and chatted as if we were the oldest of friends as she worked on a blog post and I finished knotting, bagging, and labeling the huglets for the conference. It was fantastic.
Then, we got to Boston, dropped our luggage off at our respective hotels, and headed to lunch for the early bird arrivals. Again, all people we had never met in person before, but once we were together, it was like sitting with old friends.
Shared experiences, man, they’ll do that to you.
The entire weekend was full of love. Hugs. People you didn’t have to explain yourself to at all because you KNEW they got where you had been, where you were going, and why. Because they too, had been on similar roads.
Unfortunately, I missed Saturday afternoon sessions because my body crapped out on me at lunch, forcing me into a much needed nap back at my hotel before my live #PPDChat session at 4pm. I didn’t feel guilty about it, however, because as anyone who is familiar with my work knows, I emphasize self-care. Walking my talk is extremely important to me. I will not ever be the kind to tell someone “Do as I say, not as I do.” Nope. Not me.
Our #PPDChat session was intimate, but awesome. We closed with a fantastic meditation suggested by one of the attendees – perhaps you’ve heard of it: (language warning, because obviously)
Despite missing the afternoon sessions, I got so much from the conference. Surrounded by a mass of women who cared so much about their journeys and about the journeys of those around them was sheer magic.
There’s so much more I could write – and will write – but for now, I need to go sit down and continue recovering from the insane pace of my life over the past two weeks.
Suffice it to say that I am not a conference person, primarily because I’m an introvert and travel is draining. But this one? This is one conference I want to have a permanent spot at because it was so very fulfilling.
Tonight, we will be chatting with Susan Petcher, Conference Director for Postpartum Progress’s Warrior Mom Conference, the upcoming first ever patient centered maternal mental health conference. The conference spans two days – July 11th & 12th and is being held in Boston, MA.
Tonight, we will be focusing on the Homestead Warriors (HSW) aspect of the conference, with the Warrior Mom Wall as our central topic. What’s the Warrior Mom Wall, you ask? It’s an art display featuring artwork by YOU, yes, YOU, including messages of inspiration, hope, and compassion. Your stories, in art form. The deadline for sending in your piece has been extended to this Friday, June 19th. So get your artistic mojo going! Details on where to send it can be found here.
Be sure to join Susan and me tonight on Twitter for an exciting chat!
See you there!!!
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Today’s #PPDChat announcement is a slight departure from the norm as we are not using our standard announcement graphic. Today is National Day Without Stigma, according to Active Minds. You can read more about their movement here. 
