Tag Archives: motherhood

I need toothpicks!

Leave a reply

I am in serious need of toothpicks, tape, or several cases of Jolt Cola. (Do they even make that anymore?)

Cameron has been waking up at 4am this week. Last week it was 3am. He hit a new milestone last week – turning over onto his belly. This week he’s full force into teething and fussy mode. Fortunately teething tabs, a blankie, and the TV soothe him pretty quickly. As for me, I have been living on coffee and fumes. My mood is seriously paying the price and I have been very irritable and difficult the past couple of weeks. (Sleep deprivation sucks!)

But at the same time, I have to say that even with the exhaustion, I have truly enjoyed my quiet moments with Cameron. When we fell asleep on the couch the other morning, I woke up before he did. I snuggled against his soft fuzzy head and breathed him in, my heart soaring and melting all at once. I squeezed him as tight as I dared and drank in the moment so deeply I thought I would drown. As I was drinking in this beautiful infant moment, Alli and Charlotte’s screams of morning waking shattered the peace. I forced myself to block out their outside voices and focused instead on the joy in my heart and the tiny gift lying asleep on my chest – his body moving up and down with each breath, his hands moving ever so slightly here and there, soothed by his mother’s heartbeat and warmed by the maternal arms that wrapped around him as a sunbeam on an oak tree in the middle of July.

I do not take this for granted.

I do not forget to thank God for this experience.

And most importantly, I do not forget to lose myself in the joy of having a normal postpartum experience.

For it is one of the most awesome and breathtaking experiences I have ever had.

Sharing the Journey with Jane Honikman

Leave a reply

Jane Honikman was one of the first people I reached out to while  researching PPD support groups prior to starting my own. She very graciously sent me her books and even included a handwritten note of support (which I still have!)
And that’s the kind of woman Jane is… caring, understanding, compassionate, everything a mother with PPD would ever want to find in their time of desperation and need. She truly embodies what PSI stands for and I consider it to be a true honor to post this interview. I emailed Jane the questions a couple of days in advance but the interview was conducted via phone. The following is what I managed to capture so “listen” in and I hope you enjoy what Jane has to say.

 

 1) In your book, I’m Listening: A Guide to Supporting Postpartum Families, you mention the practice of Mothering the Mother. How important is this concept and why do you think this practice has vastly disappeared from our society?
I think what people have done is found subsitutes because immediate family is not as available as it has been in the past due to geographic separation. My generation subsituted friendship as mothering. We need to be more vocal about the need for mothering the mother and more organizational about it. Mothering is the essence of life – we can’t do anything alone, life is all about connection and partnerships.

 2) What did you find (and continue to find) to be most challenging about Motherhood? The least?

 The most challenging aspect of motherhood is keeping communication flowing. Making sure you are able to make your own wants known and yet listening at the same time to the needs of those around you. I feel that finding a balance between these is the key to successful communication.

 The least challenging is falling in love with your children.

3) How did you develop the Postpartum Mantra (You are not alone, You are not to blame, You will be well with help)?

 When I started getting educated about this in the early 80’s – listening to what was being said through the grassroots & research, it was clear that there were three simple messages. I’ve always tried to take the complex and simplify it. A lot of advocates have used this concept for other purposes as well. I have been involved with self help in the 60’s and 70’s and those experiences fed into this mantra. Blaming and being well is something also used by Alcoholics Anonymous.

4) What advice would you give to partners and families of women with Postpartum Depression? What can they do to best help the mother?

 Hanging in there as with any illness -stay mindful that it is not the person’s fault, just like the person with cancer didn’t get it on their own. With any mental illness, when the behaviour changes and it is harsh and alienating, it is hardest because you don’t want to be there for them. Encourage them to get help and be there for them. Never give up on them or yourselves.

5) When you started PEP (Parents Educating Parents), what was the primary motivating factor?

 We were a group of girlfriends providing support to each other and realized we were motivated to share the support we were experiencing in our small group with all the families in our surrounding community.

 6) Has PSI’s success in supporting women and families with PPD experiences surprised you?

 No, I knew eventually it was a matter of staying committed and patient and given my previous experience of working in communities, I knew it would just take time. I always felt that this was the right thing to do.

It didn’t surprise me – it delights me.

7) What activity refreshes you the most when you’ve had a rough day?

 Most important to me is to not allow intrusions into family life. I will turn off the computer after five o’clock then go start dinner and focus on family. I also enjoy music and play the flute. Another thing that refreshes me is friendship, including my friendship with my husband.

8 ) As a woman who has experienced PPD, what has it been like to guide your children through their parenting experiences?

 We were very mindful and the absolute most important thing is the supportive stuff. Our oldest married someone who had no idea what depression was and the most important thing was finding a simple book (english was not his first language) for him to read to educate himself about this. Once he read about depression, it was amazing to see the light go on and see him grasping an understanding of depression. We focused on getting educated, increasing awareness, and providing a lot of mothering through the child-birthing process. I am grateful that there is improved support for my children’s generation because there certainly wasn’t the same level of support when I experienced PPD.

9) Any advice for other women who want to pay their experience forward and help women with PPD?

  Take care of yourself first. The issues will still be there but you absolutely must get yourself to a strong place first. Delegate, don’t do things alone. Set up an organization so you don’t have to go it alone.

10) If there was one piece of advice you could give to an expectant mother (new or experienced), what would it be and why would this be important for her to hear?

 Listen to your body and enjoy it…every pregnancy is different. You have to focus on staying well and get help when you need it – you can’t do this alone.

 

Sharing the Journey with Rebecca Powell

Leave a reply

Here it is folks – the final interview for the ladies over at Totally New Moms.

Rebecca is one busy mom – I thank her for taking the time to answer my questions

so thoroughly and eloquently!

Enjoy!

 

Rebecca Ingram Powell

Christian Author and Speaker

WATCH FOR REBECCA’S NEW BOOK–SEASON OF CHANGE: PARENTING YOUR MIDDLE

SCHOOLER WITH PASSION AND PURPOSE–COMING MAY 2009!

Monthly columnist, ParentLife magazine (LifeWay Christian Resources)

 

 

1) When did you become a Christian and what has helped to solidify or sustain your faith over the years?

Raised in the blessing of a Christian home, I came to Christ as a child. At an early age, I wanted Him to be my Savior, and I was eager to belong to Him. During my teen years, I battled an attraction to the world and made many foolish choices. The summer before my senior year of high school, however, God called me to a state of repentance before Him, and it was at that point that I realized Jesus had to reside over my life as my LORD.

A daily time of prayer and Bible study is the key to a growing faith. It cannot be skipped; it cannot be discounted. A faith that can meet the storms of life (and the victories, too) is a faith that is rooted in a daily relationship with Jesus.

2) What do you find to be most challenging about motherhood? The least?

I would have to say that the greatest challenge of motherhood is in raising godly children–kids who are set apart from the worldly culture that surrounds them but who can capably function as effective Christ-followers in the midst of it. And the easiest thing I do as a mom is love my kids. That’s never been hard!

 3) How has becoming a Mother changed you? Has it strengthened your faith in God?

Becoming a mom changed me from a self-centered, selfish young woman into a servant. I learned what it really meant to love another person unconditionally. Becoming a mom helped me understand the love of my Heavenly Father in a much deeper way. I love my children with all of my heart–there is nothing they could ever do to change my love for them. Although my love is nothing compared to how much God loves, it has given me a glimpse of it.

 4) In your opinion, what aspect of Motherhood should be most celebrated?

My children are 16, 13, and 11. They love the Lord, and they love each other. These years are truly a joy. At this point in my life, I believe that having teenagers that I love being with is cause for celebration!

 5) What led you to write Baby Boot Camp?

My husband and I were teaching a Sunday school class for young married couples. Inevitably, with that age group, people begin building their families. One of the young women in the class, Sondra, had just announced her pregnancy. Her younger brother, however, had just enlisted and was going through boot camp. Her concern for him was beginning to overrule her excitement about being pregnant, and she was sharing his needs with our class. She talked about how he was only getting around five hours of sleep each night, and he had to wolf down every meal. She said he didn’t have time for anything, and his drill sergeant was always yelling about something! To me, her brother’s ordeal sounded eerily like new motherhood–no time to sleep, no time to eat, someone always screaming–and Sondra would be facing similar circumstances in less than eight months. I remembered my first days as a mom, and I wondered if the experience might have gone more smoothly if I’d had someone around to cheer me on. A desire was planted in my heart as I realized I’d love to be there for Sondra, every day of the first six weeks, if I could. That very afternoon I began writing what would be my first published book, Baby Boot Camp, a collection of devotionals designed to encourage and support new moms through the challenging first six weeks of motherhood.

 6) What Bible verse(s) would you say has the most inspiration for you as a mother?        

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6). The world offers tons of advice for raising children. Family and friends do, too. But the best place to go for inspiration and motivation in raising our children is straight to God’s Word. Go to His Word, and you will find all the help you need. Ask Him to lead you to resources that are biblically-based. 

 7) How did you come to the decision to homeschool your children? Any advice for other mothers contemplating this route?

Lauren, this could be a very long answer! :) Briefly, however, the decision was made over many years. I was thinking about homeschooling before I even had children. God put people and resources in our path that caused my husband and me to investigate homeschooling as an alternative to traditional education. As time went on, we realized that we were not simply making a decision, we were responding to a call that God had placed on our lives. I frequently talk to moms who are considering homeschooling, and I always tell them to pray, pray, pray! It has to be something you know you are called to do. Also, you must be in agreement with your husband. It will not work if the two of you are not on the same page. I will also say that I do not regret a single moment of my journey as a homeschooling mom!

 8) How did the idea for your joint blog, Totally New Moms with Sue McRoberts and Arlene Pellicane come to fruition?

This was a God thing. I am a sporadic blogger at best, but blogging is something that I enjoy doing, and I think it’s a great ministry. Teaming up with Sue gave me an incentive because I really wanted to help her give her own ministry and book more exposure. Then God brought Arlene in through an email she sent me. We each have different areas of expertise, but we have the same heart for Jesus. I believe that our blog will be a great place for moms to find the information they need.

 9) If there was one piece of advice you could give to an expectant mother (new or experienced), what would it be and why would this be important for her to hear?

 Your daily time with the Lord, whether you have five minutes or fifty, is something that must be highest priority. Moms tend to put this off and many times believe that it just doesn’t matter. But your relationship with Jesus makes the biggest difference in your life and in your parenting! Author Anne Ortlund said that you can soak yourself in His Word if you really want to! Put verses up around the house. Keep a Bible under the sink in the bathroom so you can read from it while your little one plays in the tub. Focus on Him and make your constant prayer, “Lord, teach me to love you.” He is faithful, and He will do it. And you must pray for your child. God knows your child’s needs much better than you do. He also knows His plan and purpose for your child’s life. Leading our children in the way He has for them is their only assurance of being truly fulfilled. Some people look all their lives for that “something” that is missing. They are looking for Jesus. As moms, we have the amazing opportunity to point our children to the Savior, Jesus Christ. That should be our goal every day. In order to do that successfully, we must be sure that our hearts are pointed to His.