Tag Archives: Heather

From the trenches…

Today I’d like to focus on the real faces and true stories of Perinatal Mood Disorders.

These are the stories of everyday people who have ferociously fought to survive this insidious illness.

These are the people who realize the true value of The Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHER’S Act. They passionately support the legislation.

Many of them are also now ardently dedicated to supporting others as they tread on this dark and lonely path.tea-cup-and-strainer1

Got a few minutes?

C’mon in – grab a cup of tea and sit down.

Let me introduce you to a few of them.

Meet Heather. Her brush with Postpartum Depression began during the pregnancy of her first child. Anxiety and intrusive thoughts settled in, causing her to obsess about birth defects of her unborn infant. Things went from difficult to worse when Heather experienced a reaction to a pain medicine administered during labor. She awoke at 7 hours postpartum only to witness her son receiving oxygen. Once home, she stopped sleeping, going days without rest. Her milk supply dried up as a result of the intense stress she was experiencing. Heather and her family moved in with a family member as it was no longer safe for her to be on her own. With an intolerance to all medications (including antibiotics), she sought help via talk therapy and a kinesiologist. After a few months of therapy, she was given a clean bill of health. Heather now serves as a moderator at the Online PPD Support Page and finds helping others very rewarding and meaningful. You can read more of Heather’s story by clicking here.

Ruth Rhoden Craven & son

Ruth Rhoden Craven & son

Then there’s Helena Bradford, one of the most amazing women I have ever had the privilege of knowing. Her daughter Ruth Rhoden Craven tragically ended her life after struggling with Postpartum Depression. Doctors were unable to help and some bad internet advice led the family to believe all Ruth needed was a vacation. How wrong they were! Helena works each and every day with a determination to prevent what happened to Ruth from happening to others. She is deeply rooted in her faith and believes without a doubt that the Lord has used Ruth to further the cause of PPD awareness. Helena has an amazing will. She is standing strong despite her tragic loss. Read an interview with Helena by clicking here.

headshot_bob-gibbsAnother parent who has joined the battle is Bob Gibbs. Bob lost his daughter and grandson, Jennifer Gibbs Bankston and Graham Bankston on December 19, 2007. This particular story is very hard for me to write about. I gave birth to my son on December 18, 2007, just a day before Jenny and Graham lost their lives. Even in the face of this tragedy that would cause most to buckle and falter, Bob and family have instead garnered strength and power. They have turned their loss into a powerful outreach program which has garnered national recognition. Jennyslight.org is a powerful and energetic new force within the Postpartum Advocacy landscape, one we hope will continue for a very long time. While we are saddened for their loss, we are thankful for their dedication and passion to families struggling with Postpartum Mood Disorders. Get to know Bob Gibbs in his own words by clicking here.

cheryljazzar1Meet Cheryl Jazzar. She experienced a psychotic break after the birth of her first child and was subsequently hospitalized. The break destroyed her marriage and she lost her child as a result. Five years later found her remarried with another child on the way. She experienced a depression a few months after birth. Using self-care, she rebounded quickly and knew she had something to share. Cheryl began to educate herself regarding alternative and complementary methods of treatments available to mothers during the perinatal period. She quickly became quite knowledgeable regarding non-traditional methods of treatment with a strong desire to share this with other mothers. Cheryl is a passionately dedicated volunteer for PSI and also blogs at Wellpostpartum regarding alternative and compassionate care. You can read Chery’s interview here.

danscottNow I’d like to provide a different point of view. A mom is not the only one affected by a Postpartum Mood Disorder. Her husband is also affected. Meet Dan Scott, a father who has stood by his wife as she struggled three times with a Postpartum Mood Disorder. Each time was a unique experience, one that tested their marriage and their faith. Dan states that the second time around was the worst – there are moments they don’t even remember because the circumstances were so dark. As a result of his journey, he finds himself more sensitive towards new mothers. He recognizes the hard times the birth of a child can bring. He advocates for new fathers to step up and take their vow of “for better or for worse” seriously. Dan believes he is a better man for having been through this with his wife. Want to read more about Dan’s story in his words? Click here.

Last but not least, I’d really like to introduce you to a mom named Jamie. She’s a mother to one daughter and is due to give birth in June. Is she scared of experiencing Postpartum Depression again? Absolutely. Has she had issues with mood already during pregnancy? Yeap. But she is bravely speaking up about her experience and is being very pro-active this time around. Her first episode found her not wanting to bond with her child. Instead of being the blissful new mom society tells we should be, Jamie cried, lashed out, and wanted to pack her bags to run away. She finally sought help after her father questioned her constant negativity. Jamie has one piece of advice for new moms. Get help – the sooner the better. Want to read more about Jamie’s story in her own words? Click here.

Now that you’ve had a chance to read some of the true stories of survival, I hope you’re picking up your phone and calling the H.E.L.P. Committee.(If the line is busy, call the next member but keep trying until you’ve spoken with every office!)

Have you emailed Susan Stone yet with permission to be added to a list of supporters? If not, email her with your name, state, and any credentials or organizational affiliations at susanstonelcsw@aol.com right now! (Seriously – you’re already on your computer, right? It takes five seconds!)

I hope you’re blogging to raise awareness and support for The Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHER’S Act. Got a twitter account? Raise your voice there too. Share this on Facebook! DIGG it! Don’t let these voices go to waste. Raise yours with them.

Remember in the children’s book, Horton Hears a Who, it wasn’t until the tiniest Who raised his voice that the jungle animals finally believed in the existence of the Whos. We need ALL of your voices. Now.

Sharing the Journey with Heather

Today’s interview is with Heather, a fellow moderator at the Online PPD Support Page Forum. We hit it off quite well as our oldest children struggle with many similar symptoms due to sensory integration for her son and Alli is currently undergoing testing so we don’t have a specific diagnosis yet but I have certainly found a fellow traveler in Heather when facing difficulties with Alli. Heather has been through quite a bit in addition to her PPD experience and handled her episode without anti-depressants. Through her words I hope to illuminate the path of natural treatment that some women choose to take. Anti-depressants are not for everyone – we all travel a different path towards recovery. This is Heather’s.

Tell us a little about yourself and your experience with Postpartum Depression.

I started to have Anxiety when I was still pregnant and some IT’s as well. My IT’s though were just simple. I used to obsess about what we would do if he wasn’t born a boy. Although from the ultrasound there was no doubt it was a boy. In fact they said, that’s either a boy, or a girl with 3 legs. So I constantly obsessed about it being a 3 legged girl. I also was suffering from some PTSD from a roll-over car accident I had been in. So of course I had some worries about the baby being defected as a result of the accident since I was pregnant when it occurred. On the day he was born I had a reaction to a pain killer that they gave me in the hospital and I slept through my labor and delivery. I was completely incoherent. I have short spurts of memories. I woke up when he was 7 hours old to find my son having oxygen administered to him. I suffered from some PTSD too then from the birth.

We had to also get some testing done to rule out a genetic condition called MMA. That fortunately was negative, but it was still a stress. When my son was almost 5 months old my husbands niece died from complications of MMA. She was just 3 years old. Sydney and I were sooo close, her death really hit hard especially since I was not there, we were on vacation. At that time I started having harmful IT’s about myself and Cardon. I hated myself for them because here I was not bonded with Cardon, not liking him and having hurtful IT’s towards him and my Sister in Law was grieving the loss of her only child. I then started to seclude my self from people. My in laws were really toxic towards me and my situation, we had moved to a new area and I didn’t know anyone, so I was all alone.

My family lived more than 700 miles away. My husband was working and going to school so much that we would go days without seeing him. I would go days without getting dressed and especially without showering because I had horrible It’s in the shower. I also would go days without sleeping, or days with sleeping whenever my son slept (3 naps a day and 12 hours at night) I went dry and stopped breastfeeding, and that only made things worse. By may I couldn’t hide it anymore and started to seek help but was lashed out against by people. It was not safe for me to be on my own so we moved in with Travis’ Grandmother to have her help look after me. While there I started counseling and stayed in counseling for 3 months then was released with a “clean bill of health.”

However, Labor day weekend I had a total breakdown, in a ball on the floor begging my husband to take me to the hospital. I wanted to be admitted to the psych ward. Instead he sent me to be with my family for the weekend. Doing that he had to call in sick to work so he could care for our son. Well he was put on probation and then quit because of the unfairness of the situation. At that point we decided I needed some serious help and sought out a Kinesiologist. Within a few months I was back to “normal”

I know that you dealt with PPD through natural treatments. Would you share what worked for you and some resources for other women to turn to if they don’t want to use anti-depressants?

I have worked with a homeopath for about 10 years now, because I am intolerant to all meds including antibiotics and pain killers. So I worked with him and he tried to stabilize my hormones. It wasn’t working all that well though because I could only confer with him over the phone as he was in Salt Lake and me in Los Angeles. My mom at the time was seeing a kinesiologist that was recommended to her by our homeopath. So I sought out a kinesiologist in my area. My mom paid for the sessions since we couldn’t afford it and insurance wouldn’t cover it. Kinesiology is energy work on your body. There are different energies in your body and with asking different questions you can find out what is off, and then that same trained professional can help your body get back to its own normal levels. It was found my seretonin was off as were several of my neurotransmitters. I used fish oils to help my neurotransmitters function properly again. www.kinesiology.net is a recourse that goes into detail about different forms of kinesiology. Also www.tbmseminars.com is a site to look for a practitioner. Tbm is a varied form of kinesiology.

What effect did PPD have on your marriage?

PPD was really hard on my marriage especially before Travis fully understood what was going on and quit living in denial. He went to one appoint at my PDOC’s with me. It was also hard because we were constantly under attack from his family. He would try to defend me to his family and try to defend them to me. He was trying to please everyone and it just didn’t work. As soon as he finally gave up and decided to stick to one side (mine) things got better.

Would you say through your PPD experience you grew and realized how to better nurture and take care of your body and mind?

Yes and no. I was pretty in tune with my body and mind before, but I did learn that I cant do everything on my own and I do need help and ITS OK to get help.

You’ve gone on to have another child after PPD. What was that experience like?

Well its been a whole different experience. My pregnancy was totally different, I was more in tune with little changes. I was able to stay on and increase my fish oils when needed. My labor and delivery was done totally naturally and I was actually a participant in it, and was coherent when she was born. That really helped in bonding. Things have been totally different, I cant express how different it has been. I started on a high dose progesterone cream within hours of the birth and was on that for several weeks before weaning off of it. I think that really helped. Also people around me were more aware and we surrounded ourselves only with the people who would be supportive. I did need to receive 2 kinesiology treatments during pregnancy to re-stabilize myself, but other than that I have had no relapses or reoccurance of PPD. I did have my thyroid tested at one point after the birth when I was starting to struggle some and it was on the low end of normal so I was put on some natural supplements to help balance the thyroid and I have been fine.

How did your husband handle your first episode and do you think he was well prepared to handle things if you relapsed after the birth of your daughter?

At first my husband was in denial. He did not handle it well at all. He would lash out at me and be hurt. He would blame me and tell me I could be better if I wanted to (something his family told him) then he started to see what it was really like once he was home more, and he started to be more supportive. Yes he was well prepared the second time. We had established open communication and had a plan in place. He came and told me once that it was time to go see my kinesiologist. At first I was mad at him. I yelled at him and told him to leave me alone. He did, he didn’t push. Of course after a day or so I realized he was right and went. But he had already planned that if I didn’t go in a couple days he would try to broach the subject again and then get my mom on board, which was all a part of the plan. Fortunately it didn’t come to that.

What do you find most challenging about motherhood? Least challenging?

My son is my biggest challenge. He has sensory disorders and that is very trying and can be very taxing.

Least challenging would be loving my kids.

What is the biggest lesson you learned from your PPD experience?

That I can overcome anything. If I lean on my spouse and God, I can do anything. I came from the brinks of sanity, so close to committing suicide, to where I am now. I couldn’t have done it without allowing other people to help me.

You’re a moderator at the Online PPD Support Page. How much does it mean to you to be able to support other women as they too struggle towards recovery from PPD?

It means the world to me. They gave me so much and I am so grateful to be able to give back and help other women who are right where I once was. It also helps me to realize just how far I have come.

Last but not least, if you had one piece of advice for an expectant mother, (new or experienced), what would it be?

Take it easy. Don’t stress. Relax. You may not know how to be a parent, but guess what, kids don’t know how to be a kid either, we learn together. Parents have the ability to read and get advice from others, but kids don’t get a manual, so relax and take things as they come and you and your kids will be better off.