#PPDChat Topic 08.04.14: Getting Pro-active: Facing Pregnancy after a Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorder

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Along with countless women, I have been in this boat. It’s an intimidating boat, let me tell you what. But, with some preparation, things don’t have to be quite that scary.

My first experience with a PMAD was frightening. I had no idea what was happening in my head in addition to trying to get myself adjusted to motherhood for the first time around. Talk about one helluva screwball. Thanks, life.

I survived. My daughter survived. Did we come out unscathed? No. But I definitely came out wiser. I view my first brush with PP OCD as one heck of a learning curve which prepared me for the second time I found myself in an even deeper valley than the first.

Halle Berry said it best on Oprah: “Once you’ve been through depression, it gets easier to get out because you have a road map.” Each episode, while it may have different nuances and causes, is essentially the same basic experience deep down. You get used to battling your way out of it and yes, you absolutely have a road map. You learn to recognize the curves and know how to adjust for them well before they even appear on your horizon.

Just as with a road trip, preparation is key. While even the best preparation in the world does not guarantee that a PMAD will stay at bay, it does empower you and enables you to seek help sooner rather than later.

I sincerely hope you’ll join us tonight to discuss the importance of preparing yourself and your loved ones for the possibility of another bout of a PMAD after the birth of a sibling. I have experienced both a planned and an unplanned pregnancy after my episodes so there will be lots of insight into both situations, including a very honest discussion about depression and other mental health issues during pregnancy.

Tonight’s chat is an important one. Don’t miss it. See you on Twitter at 830pm ET!

#PPDChat 07.28.14: Talking to Your Children About Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorders

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One of the most often repeated phrases I’ve heard from friends who struggle with postpartum mood disorders is, “Why didn’t anybody tell me?”  It’s a question I’ve asked myself too.  And it begs the question, did anybody else in my family face this?

As we raise awareness of the important topic of postpartum depression, anxiety and other mood disorders, it’s critical that we educate future generations, which includes our own children.  Though many of us still have very young children who may not understand our struggles currently, there may come a time where we feel we need to be honest with them about what we as their mothers (and fathers) experienced during the weeks and months after delivery.  It’s important for our own story, but it’s also important in order to prepare our children for what they, their spouses, or other family and friends may potentially face.

Talking to our children about such an emotional and difficult topic is never easy.  But someday I want my children to know that their mother faced a real and hard battle–and won.  And that they were a huge part of the reason that I fought to get better.  I hope my own children never have to face this battle, but if they do, or know someone who does, I want them to have every measure of support available, and part of that support is us, as their parents.

Please join me, @DonutsMama, on Twitter tonight for #PPDChat as we discuss how to talk with our children about postpartum mood and anxiety disorders.  Hope to see you there at 8:30 EST.

 

#PPDChat 07.21.14: Self-Care & Motherhood – Finding Balance with @story3girl

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ppdchat-07-21-14Hey y’all!!! It’s Monday! You know what that means!!!

Another installment of #PPDChat on Twitter! YAY! *Throws confetti and rattles noisemaker*

Don’t mind me – it’s just been a crazy weekend and I haven’t had coffee yet but have already been out and about. I KNOW.

Speaking of crazy weekend, no coffee, already running errands (with lots more to do before the day is done), you better believe I am going to take slices of time here or there for myself. Sit down, read a bit of a book, play a game on my phone, maybe nap at some point (I hope so because WOW I AM TIRED), and I may even watch something on Netflix in addition to making sure I get a decent night’s sleep tonight even if I have to take Melatonin.

Self-care is what puts water in our pitchers so that we can keep the glasses of those around us filled. It’s important. It’s not something we put off until tomorrow. It’s something we work into our schedules, even if it’s fragmented. Lately, as busy as I have been, I have made sure to do my work then take a break and do something just for me (I’ve been binge watching Friday Night Lights). Then, I get up, and do something else that needs to be done, and then something else that is just for me.

One of my favourite exercises to have folks do when they’re not used to self-care is to have them sit down and make a list. Write down all 5 of your senses. Taste, touch, smell, sight, and sound. Then, for every sense, write down five of your favourite things. Post this list somewhere and keep at least one thing from every sense in your home or near you/accessible at all times. This becomes your “emergency sanity” kit and BAM. Instant self-care.

It’s easy to get overwhelmed by the idea of self-care because let’s face it, humans are complex and life can get crazy in the blink of an eye. But when it’s BUILT in to your daily routine via baby steps? Totally achievable. This is what the exercise in the previous paragraph does for you – it empowers you to build self-care into your life in tiny fragmented pieces. Sure, sometimes you need to just sit down and do nothing for a couple of hours but let’s face it, with little ones running around, that doesn’t happen very often. So fragmented self-care becomes our only option. It’s a heck of a lot better than none at all, wouldn’t you agree?

Tonight, join @story3girl on Twitter to chat about this very important topic. Explore your own habits, your needs, and maybe figure out how to get started mothering the post important person in your life – YOU.

#PPDChat Topic 07.14.14: Chatting with @addyeB for Minority Mental Health Awareness Month

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ppdchat-07-14-14This evening’s #PPDChat will focus on women of colour and mental health.

Why does this matter?

A quick visit to the Health & Human Services Department’s Minority Mental Health Statistics page for African Americans drives home some scary points right away:

  • Poverty level affects mental health status. African Americans living below the poverty level, as compared to those over twice the poverty level, are 3 times more likely to report psychological distress.
  • African Americans are 20% more likely to report having serious psychological distress than Non-Hispanic Whites.
  • Non-Hispanic Whites are more than twice as likely to receive antidepressant prescription treatments as are Non-Hispanic Blacks.
  • The death rate from suicide for African American men was almost four times that for African American women, in 2009.
  • However, the suicide rate for African Americans is 60% lower than that of the Non-Hispanic White population.
  • A report from the U.S. Surgeon General found that from 1980 – 1995, the suicide rate among African Americans ages 10 to 14 increased 233%, as compared to 120% of Non-Hispanic Whites.1

I’ll give you a few minutes to read those statistics over and realize what they mean. Then I want to highlight two specifically.

“Non-Hispanic Whites are TWICE as likely to receive a prescription for antidepressants than Non-Hispanic Blacks.”

“African Americans are 20% more likely to report having serious psychological distress than Non-Hispanic Whites.”

Taking those two statements alone, African Americans are 20% more likely to report having serious psychological distress than Non-Hispanic Whites BUT are less likely to receive a prescription which would help them deal with said psychological distress.

How is that even close to okay?

Mental health affects more than our minds, too. It affects several systems in our bodies with the stress it causes, it affects quality of life, it affects everything. Without it, we are not complete.

So join me tonight as we chat with the fantastic @addyeB, as she, in her own words, will be:

“…sharing what it’s been like for me, as a woman of color, to fight through & recover from a postpartum mood disorder. I’ll be talking about the stigma surrounding mental illness in minority communities and how it impacts awareness, education, and folks seeking treatment…barriers to treatment/access to resources in our communities…and various resources that women of color can find and use for support-especially online. I’ll also be asking other women of color to share their experiences and ask questions as well.”

It’s gonna be a good chat, y’all.

Look forward to seeing you there!

Warmest,

Lauren

Guest Post: On Meeting An Angel

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PP Blogathon BlingToday’s post in celebration of Katherine Stone is brought to you by Deborah Forhan Rimmler, a member of the board of Postpartum Progress. There’s no intro to do it justice so I’ll just let you read.

I’m always curious about where God might pop up.  You see, I’m the kind of girl who finds a connection to the Divine in random places—a quiet snuggle with my boys, when my husband loves me even when I’m being a jerk, a long bike ride, my dear aunt’s funeral.  You get the point.

Five years ago I was struck with horrible postpartum OCD, the soul stealing kind where you have visions of hurting your own baby.  Even then, I was still lucky.  I had a swanky doula, got a great psychiatrist and slowly got better.  Still, there was this huge gaping hole in my heart that only I knew was there.  I swear you could see all the way to infinity and back that hole was so big.  I was sure I would never really be happy again or be joyful as mother because this terrible experience haunted me.  I put on brave face. I cared for and played with my baby.  I prayed, tried to meditate, did yoga, and watched chick flicks. I did all my happy things.  Only it was still there.  That big gaping hole of fear and sadness over this experience.

Then I met an angel—the working class kind, which in my opinion is the very best type.  You see, she is one of us.  A human with no special wings or privity with God’s plans for the universe.  She was just a very brave mother who had dared to share her story with the world about how she, too, had these intrusive thoughts about hurting her baby boy.  And I mean the whole world—she put in on a blog!  She just put it out there in a matter-of-fact way about how postpartum depression, anxiety, OCD and psychosis are simply treatable diseases.  And she got other women to share their stories on her blog.  And she gave up her lucrative marketing career, at a significant financial cost to her family, to build this blog day after day.  For. Ten. Years.

Every story was just as beautiful and brave as the one before.  And in these stories there was a divine truth that healed my draining soul.  We women are not alone, and it is not our fault we got sick.  I even felt God’s love for me, my sick brain, and all the other suffering mothers past and present in the community of these stories.  And the gaping hole in my heart and soul got plugged with the honesty and bravery of these women sharing their truth.  And one day I started to feel happy again.  Full of hope for my life as a mother.

Thank you, Katherine Stone, for being that angel.  Day after day you shine the light of goodness and grace on the dark side of motherhood helping to piece our broken hearts back together.  And when that light sparks a sad, tired soul and starts to help it heal, you give the gift that only a true angel can give:  Hope.

Bless you my darling friend and congratulations on the Ten Year Anniversary of Postpartum Progress!

Rimmler Family 09 051Deborah is a postpartum OCD survivor and on the board of Postpartum Progress, Inc.  She is a corporate attorney and lives with her husband and two sons in Western Massachusetts.