Humbled: Seems I inspired a PSI Fundraiser in TX

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Back in August, there was an email to a Postpartum Mental Illness group of which I am a member. This email stood out. It was from a Dad. He sounded desperate. His daughter was struggling with Postpartum Depression. His words echoed with concern and worry.

Despite that I was at Wal-Mart, on my cell phone, and had screaming kids in the backseat, something told me to respond right then and there. My husband was with me and I asked him to drive so I could respond. By now, he was very used to this scenario.

In responding to this Dad, I identified myself as a Postpartum Support International Coordinator and offered to email off group with him. We began to email privately within 24 hours. He opened up completely to me and I referred him to Coordinators in TX but let him know I would remain available for any questions he had as the situation proceeded.We continued to email back and forth for a few months. At one point, I had not heard from him in a few weeks and he popped into my head so I emailed him to see how things were going. This is the way things went between us.

This father was James Stanley.

Turns out he’s on the Diversity Council for Luminant Technologies, a subsidiary of one of the largest Energy Companies in Texas.

So moved by my compassion, James approached Luminant Technologies about a fundraiser for PSI.

It’s in August.

I have been oh so humbled by all of this. I did nothing beyond what I do every day and what I wished someone had done for me. James told me this fundraiser is the least he could do. It’s SO much more though. So very much more.

Each day, I arise with thankfulness in my heart for having made it so far. I wake with a simple goal – to help just one mom or family understand or get help with a Postpartum Mood Disorder. Since I’ve started reaching out, I have never failed. This is a daily goal I never intend to lose.

You can read his story at Postpartum Progress.

I’ll be in Texas for the golf tournament.

The best part? I get to meet James and his wife. And THANK him for his very compassionate heart.

According to the post at Postpartum Progress, here’s how you can help sponsor this event:

Luminant’s Sandow/Three Oaks Diversity Advisory Council 2nd Annual Charity Golf Tournament will be held Saturday, August 7th at the Golf Club Star Ranch in Hutto, TX (near Austin).  The entry fee is $75 per player and $300 per team if you register by July 27th.  The entry fee includes lunch, golf cart, range balls and drink coupons.  Mulligans can also be purchased.  Prizes will be awarded to top finishers, and random drawings will be made for additional winners.  To learn more or to register, click here.  You can also contact Debi Mikulencak at 512-446-8992.

To help Luminant support PSI, your company can help sponsor this event.  There is a wide variety of sponsorship options.  To learn more, click here.

Also, we welcome assistance from PSI supporters who would like to donate a gift certificate or gift card from a national chain for use as auction items or prizes at the golf tournament.

James – Thank YOU, sir, for your dedication and compassionate heart. You have humbled me.

And thank you, God, for putting the two of us together. You have truly blessed this in every way possible.

Whatever Wednesday: Favorite Childhood Movies

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The Goonies. The NeverEnding Story. Red Dawn. Howard the Duck. The Princess Bride. Toy Soldiers.The Boy who could Fly.

Anything with Molly Ringwald, Emilio Estevez, Judd Nelson, and gang in it, Say Anything, Adventures in Babysitting, Crocodile Dundee, Uncle Buck, The Great Outdoors, Spaceballs, Funny Farm, National Lampoon’s Vacation series, Any Star Trek movie EXCEPT The Wrath of Khan (that’s a whole ‘nother post though), The Mission, WarGames…. I could go on and on.

These are some of my FAVORITE movies as I grew up.

No, I didn’t list the Gremlin or Freddy movies. I have never seen them. My parents did not let me watch them and quite frankly, I have no desire to watch them now. (Even though I’ve been told my darling doggy Maggie looks like a Mogwai – and yes, I used IMDB to spell that correctly!)

But the other movies were faves.

I’m sure I have left some out. There have been many many other favorite movies along the way as well – Pretty Woman, Erin Brokovich, Radio, What about Bob, Happy Gilmore, Billy Madison, Big Daddy, Fried Green Tomatoes, Steel Magnolias, Wedding Crashers, Star Trek X, and many many many others.

The movie I’m most excited about sharing with my kids? The Goonies by a mile. I’ve already shared The NeverEnding story with them. But The Goonies will have to wait until I’m okay with them hearing some of the language present in the film. I know they’ll love it.

What about you? What are some of your favorite flicks? Which ones are you most excited about sharing with your kids?

Just Talking Tuesday: Did you have Postpartum Depression support from your Mom?

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Monday night at #PPDChat, one of the chatters shared with us how her mother helped her get the help she needed to begin recovery from Postpartum Depression.

I’ve heard from women who have had excellent support from their Mothers. I’ve also heard the exact opposite. Nightmarish stories from women who’s own Mothers told them to suck it up and get over themselves. Motherhood is hard. Get over yourself. Those stories always hit me right in the stomach and make me want to reach through the computer to have a word or two with the mothers of these women.

Postpartum Depression is so much more than facing a tough day as a Mother. It’s debilitating. It’s wanting desperately to love and hug your child while so not wanting to love and hug your child. It’s wanting to not be angry with your husband as you yell at him for not putting the cap back on the toothpaste or something equally as inane. It’s wanting to keep up with the housework but instead all the physical and mental strength you have barely allows you to get out of bed and survive the day. It’s wanting to believe no one else knows the horrible thoughts racing through your head as you try to talk yourself down out of the figurative tree you’ve now climbed all the way up. It’s believing you really are the worst parent in the world but deep down trying so hard to talk yourself into believing you are a good parent despite all the negativity swirling about your head. It’s wishing desperately for the return of hope, sanity, happiness, patience, and strength and the imminent flight of disillusionment, insanity, intense sadness, impatience, and physical weakness.

I’m ever thankful when a woman’s mom calls me or seeks me out for support and education about her daughter’s experience with Postpartum Mood Disorders.

My own mother was very supportive when I was struggling. I never hesitated to call her (sometimes several times a day – thanks for listening!) when I needed to vent. Granted, I probably shared more than I should have and probably still do sometimes. (I’m working on that!) My mother always emphasized the importance of keeping the communication lines open. She kept them open when I needed them most.

I want to hear what your experience was with support from your Mom during your Postpartum Mood Disorder Experience. Did she accept your diagnosis? Help you out around the house? Listen? Help you make sense of life when it just didn’t seem to make a lick of sense? Or did she judge you? Tell you to get over yourself and grow up? Criticize your treatment decisions? Not respect your boundaries as you healed? Or perhaps your mother wasn’t there – for whatever reason – how do you think that affected your experience?

Let’s get to just talking!

Postpartum Voice of the Week: @litanyofbritt’s “When there is No Light”

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This past week, at the tail end of #PPDChat, @litanyofbritt tweeted a link to a post at her blog, “When There is No Light.” In this post, Brittainy first details her daughter’s birth story and her subsequent fall into the dark hole of Postpartum Depression.

Her post struck a chord with me because we both were separated from our children. She writes it beautifully:

I spent the next two days alone. A special kind of alone, where a mother is in one place, and her baby is hours away. Her dad went to Boston to sit by her side, and I stayed back, and wept until my face swelled like a balloon, and I mourned the loss of the experience I had not just hoped for, but expected. My mother came to sit with me for awhile, and brought me lunch, but I had no other visitors. It seems people don’t quite know how to visit a new mother, when there is no new baby. My first lingering moments of motherhood, the first few days of my daughter’s life, were the most heinous, and lonely days of mine.

I too, felt that horrible sense of isolation. No one knew what to do with me. My baby was alive. She was breathing. But she was not with me. I had barely known her out of the womb for 24 hours before she left me to go on her first road trip. This was NOT how things were supposed to work out. Give birth, nurse, go home. That was the plan. This detour through the NICU had not been planned!

Brittainy goes on to share her experience after giving birth to her son. It’s an amazing read. Please go read it.

I will warn you that some sections are graphic and may be triggering for some of you. Please refrain from reading it if you are in a fragile place.

Thank you, Brittainy, for sharing your story and lighting the path for other mamas out there who may find hope in your Postpartum Voice.