Postpartum Voice of the Week: Raising Little Women’s “The “D” Word”

Leave a reply

I loved this piece not only for the beautiful and talented writing but for the inclusion of Christianity into the battle this Mom is currently fighting.

When I was first struggling through Postpartum OCD, I had a Christian background but did not consider myself to be Christian at the time. As I started my support group, I shied away from starting it at a Church so as not to make potential attendees uncomfortable. Then I met Tara Mock, the founder of Out of the Valley, a faith-based Postpartum site. Tara led me to Sue McRoberts and eventually I met Rebecca Ingram. While we all haven’t met in person yet, I admire all three of these women for their strong faith and know in my heart of hearts that God put them in my path to help my own faith grow.

And grow it has.

I was baptized (again) this past April. I have no doubt that whatever has come my way is for a reason even if I do not believe it a the time. It has been so very comforting to finally be in a place where, if something goes wrong, I know I can lean hard on God to take care of it all. Even when I was not at this place, it was not because I had not prayed enough. It was not because I had been a bad “Christian.” It was not me. It was God, carrying me through a storm because He knew what was down the road for me. I am finally grateful for my experience. Do I wish it had never happened? Sure. But it did. So I deal with it I must.

Today’s voice hid her depression for five long years despite having noticed not feeling right after the birth of her daughter, Sarah. She observes her reason why so many struggle in isolation with depression:

Depression is a subject that many people do not like to talk about, especially in the church, which is very unfortunate for those that face this day in and day out. We should be able to come to one another, as brothers & sisters in Christ, and share one another’s burdens. But yet so many people face depression alone.

I believe the cause of this is due to what is being said from pulpits, what is written in books, blogs or spoken amongst friends. I once believed the lie, that if you are struggling with depression 1) you have sin in your life, 2) you have turned your back on God 3) God is punishing you for past sins.

As she moved forward to seek help, she also struggled with these very issues.

I started searching online, found a sickness that I thought I had, went to the doctor, told him what I thought was wrong, and wanted him to fix it. I can’t remember exactly what I told him I thought I had, something about blood sugar. When he told me he thought I was dealing with depression, I fought him on it, and then I broke down in his office. He told me, basically, I was dealing with PPD (postpartum depression) I wouldn’t let him speak the word depression, he finally started calling it postpartum anxiety so I would listen to what he had to say.

She found herself on and off medication for the next few years. This past April she stopped taking her medicine again.

A couple weeks/month later I hit the bottom. Hard. I literally could not think straight, make a decision, or go a day without having a meltdown.  I didn’t want to leave the house, I felt terrible, sick, all the time. To make it worse, all the thoughts I’d had previously, came back. The guilt alone was enough to push me over the edge. Looking back, I don’t know why it took me so long to go back to the doctor. I think I was still clinging to the lies, in fact, I’m pretty sure that was it. I started questioning my salvation. I started doubting everything I knew to be true. I hated myself, who I’d become. I felt like a liar and cheat. I hated that people thought me better than I was, who said kind words about me, I actually, to put it nice, wanted to hit,  and yell at them. Those who told me they wish they could be like me, stay at home, do it all, I wanted to take them up on it, but I just smiled and said, thank you.

I applaud her for speaking up about her experience even if it took her so long to do so. Her story will undoubtedly touch women of faith as they too struggle with their own brushes with depression. We are just human, even if God is on our side. He is there to lean on in the hard times, and will always be there when we need Him most. And ladies? HIS opinion is the only one that matters. He will always love us. Always.

Now go read the whole piece over at Raising Little Women: The “D” Word.

 

Enhanced by Zemanta

This one time at PSI camp…

Leave a reply

I had dinner & wine with the lovely ladies of @MotherWoman. They did not let me escape without a tattoo. I heart them. (I really do – I was sad when they left)

I got to hug Jane Honikman and Pec Indman.

I FINALLY met Wendy Davis, Program Director of PSI, in person. She was every bit as awesome as I thought she was BEFORE we met. Possibly even a little more!

I got to share my story in a roomful of women who GOT it. (I totally cried while doing so and then did the one thing I tell every woman not to do – apologized!)

Cheryl Tatano Beck said meeting me made HER day. (And then she told me the next day as she was thinking over the day while falling asleep, meeting me was the highlight of her day!)

Adrienne Einarson gave me a hug and said I embarrassed her with all the lovely things I say about her on my blog. (I won’t be stopping that any time soon because Adrienne does amazing work!)

I got to meet and chat with Brian Shanahan, the CEO of MedEdPPD.

Margaret Spinelli told me to keep up the good work.

I finally met Ivy Shih Leung of Ivy’s PPD blog and she is awesome.

I had a chance to chat with Ian Jones, this year’s recipient of the Marce Medal. He’s been doing amazing research with women who suffer from Postpartum Bipolar and Psychosis.

But most importantly, I connected with several of my fellow PSI Coordinators – women who, like me, are so very passionate about their work.

Women who are in the trenches, supporting families and women as they go through some of the toughest times they will ever face. Regardless of the situation, these Coordinators hang tough as they compassionately educate and advocate for these families and mothers. It’s amazing to watch them in action, actually. Honoring to be one of them. And beyond humbling to have brilliant members of the Marce Society thank us for all the hard work we, at PSI, are doing to support the very women for whom they research.

Last week was amazing and I am so very thankful I was able to attend. Thank you again to my angels and to God for providing such an amazing experience. Just four years ago I was a Mom with a determined heart. This past week that heart got me to the PSI/Marce Conference.

I want to close with something Wendy Davis emphasized so very often in every PSI meeting I attended last week: Everything you are doing today is more than was done yesterday.

It’s true for us as Coordinators and for those recovering. It’s a small goal to do just a little more today than you did yesterday. Today, I’m putting that into practice. Will you join me?

The Four Week Rule

Leave a reply

I sat in a very heated session at the Postpartum Support International/Marce Conference this morning.

Ellen Frank, a volunteer working on the Mood Disorders Committee, spoke with a very passionate group of volunteers and researchers about the upcoming recommendations the DSM-5 will hold for Postpartum Mood Identifiers.

After stating there was no clear cut off for risk of onset, Dr. Ellen Frank Ph.D stated the DSM-5 would continue to include FOUR WEEKS as the cut-off date for onset. She later clarified this was due to the additional lack of no clear offset for symptoms in the current body of research.

As I tried to wrap my head around this logic, several women, several of my fellow volunteers, survivors, stood to make their way to the microphones placed throughout the room once Dr. Frank bravely opened the floor for questions. What was then witnessed was an outpouring of the angst and horror these women felt in their hearts in regards to this announcement.

Four weeks. FOUR. WEEKS.

It simply cannot be four weeks. Four weeks is nowhere near long enough for a Perinatal Mood Disorder cut off.

Why?

Let’s explore that by creating a time-line of what happens in a woman’s life after she gives birth.

(All birth stats below sourced from tables found here: Statistical Brief #11)

A woman gives birth vaginally with or without complications but no surgery. She is in the hospital for 2.5 days.

A vaginal birth complicated by a surgical procedure other than D&C and sterilization nets you 3.3 days.

A cesarean section with complications earns you 4.6 days while without complications gets you 3.4 days.

That’s one week.

Now mom goes home right as the Baby Blues peak around day four or five.

She may or may not have a significant other or family member able to stay home with her to help with an adjustment period over the first week home.

That’s two weeks.

Significant other returns to work. Mom is at home. The baby blues should resolve early in the third week as they peaked at the end of the hospital stay for moms who had a cesarean section with complications. But contradicting recommendations often advise new moms to seek help if Baby Blues last longer than two weeks.

That’s three weeks.

Mom is still at home. Lucky if she’s had a shower every day, slept more than 45 minutes at a time, may or may not be dealing with the beginnings of the stress of her new infant on her marriage and home life. The Baby Blues have barely resolved at the beginning of this week if she’s on the longer end of the spectrum. Mom is spinning and has no time to stop and realize that there may be something wrong. In fact, she’s barely unaware that four whole weeks have passed since the birth of her infant as her priority does not involve checking her day planner for the cut-off date for the Four Week Rule.

That’s FOUR weeks.

Normal infants do not settle down to sleep regularly until 8 weeks old according to some research. So mom may not even sleeping decently until 8 weeks postpartum or even longer. And we all know what a little sleep deprivation will do for the symptoms of Perinatal Mood Disorders.

C-section recovery can take anywhere from 6-8 weeks and may increase mom’s risk for Postsurgical Depression.

And last but certainly not least, women in America typically do not go for a Postpartum check up until SIX WEEKS postpartum with the exception of complications developing prior to the expected appointment.

By her six week appointment, Mom has had a chance to have the blues dissipate or explode.

Mom risks her OB dismissing her symptoms as a Perinatal Mood or Anxiety Disorder if the good folks on the DSM-5 committees have their way.

As a woman who was told, by her OB, that because she was more than four weeks postpartum she could not possibly have Postpartum Depression, I am urging the good folks at the DSM-5 to reconsider.

My first OB’s rigid belief in the DSM-IV set off a chain of events which would ultimately land me in a psychiatric hospital.

You see, he believed that at four weeks, all my hormones got up off their asses and did a happy dance until they were all right back where they belonged. Clearly, the questionnaire on which I had marked having the desire to harm myself AND my infant, meant nothing.

NOTH.ING.

Essentially, he sat across the desk from me and agreed I was a little sad but did not feel it rated any additional or insightful training. He did refer me to the in-house therapist. Want to know what they did? They called me and canceled. The third time, I was racing through town with my infant daughter strapped into her car seat as she screamed at the top of her lungs.

This is me.

Screaming at the top of my lungs.

The DSM-5 people are wrong.

WRONG.WRONG.WRONG.

But they won’t know that until you are available and ready to speak up too.

Dr. Frank did let us know today prior to opening the floor that she LOVES to hear from the community at large. (That’s YOU!)

So what can you do to help?

First of all, you can go to the DSM-5 evauluation site. Register as a participant. Sign up for notifications if you can do so.

Secondly, speak up. Make your voice heard.

If you KNOW of research showing the onset of Postpartum Depression beyond four weeks, please, share it with the committee. Dr. Ellen Frank assured us that the work groups READ, SHARE, and DISCUSS every comment received.

(The comments section is currently closed but you can still register. The current revisions are undergoing Field Trials. The data will be reviewed and posted in May 2011. It will be up for approximately one month for public comment. Comments will close on June 30,2011 at midnight.)

The Four Week rule is simply not acceptable and we need to fight tooth and nail to get it changed.

No woman deserves to walk into a doctor’s office and be told “No, there’s nothing wrong with you because the book says you’re way past the time when it should of happened.”

It’s a very dangerous and irresponsible thing to tell a woman who is possibly on her last string of hope that she’s just fine when she KNOWS, she KNOWS deep down she is not.

It’s a liability. It’s just not right.

Speak up. GET heard. Make this right.

Head over to the DSM-5 website to register as a participant. Speak up. Tell them your story if you were diagnosed after four weeks or if you WEREN’T diagnosed after those four weeks because of the The Four Week Rule.

You have an opportunity to really make a change here.

SEIZE IT.