Author Archives: LHale

About LHale

Sassy, outspoken, laughing, football loving, F1 & MotoGP fanatic, coffee and beer snob, bacon addicted Mama blogging about Postpartum Mood Disorders as she tries to figure out her new place in this world. C'mon along for the ride, won't ya?

Only human

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Dear lovely readers and #PPDChat members:

 

It’s been a heck of a week. I’m tired. Drained. Worn the heck out.

I’m always preaching to you about self-care. About filling your own tanks and making sure you put yourself first.

This week, I sucked at that a little.

So I’m taking the weekend off.

I’m uninstalling Twitter from my phone.

I’m turning off my email alerts except for a super secret email address only released to a few chosen people.

I won’t be on Facebook either.

I need to just be.

To soak in the jacuzzi.

Watch the clouds.

Swing on a playground.

Watch the Blue Heron hunt for fish in the lake behind the house.

Sink into a hot bubble bath.

Also? Chocolate. Maybe.

Know that I’m okay. That I’m taking care of me which is precisely what I want each and every one of you to do this weekend.

Take care of you.

I’ll see y’all on Monday at chat.

We’ll be talking about Triggers and how to cope.

What better way to get ready than to practice all weekend?

Love all of you so much.

All my heart,

lauren

Dear #PPDChat Army: An Open Love Letter

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Dear #PPDChat Army:

You are the most amazing moms in the entire world.

Your heart, your fire, your compassion, your wicked strength, your wisdom, your drive to not let anyone else suffer alone is mind-boggling.

This week, one of ours struggled publicly. You didn’t run away. You ran toward her. You held her. You listened. You reached out. For her. For yourselves.

So many of you dove into her maelstrom right along with her. You were there for her when it mattered most.

At the closing of every chat, I always say that help is only a tweet away. To use the hashtag and an army will be at your disposal.

This week?

You proved it beyond any reasonable expectation.

This week, you were an army. This week you bonded together, rallied around one of our own. This week you brought tears to my eyes. To the eyes of everyone involved. (HUGE thanks to the BAND for giving our mama a safe place to vent)

Thank YOU.

But now, now that she’s safe, in the hands of professionals and hopefully receiving the care she so desperately needs, we need to focus on ourselves. Turn the army toward ourselves.

When we support others, we often push aside our own fears. We push aside the scary, the hard, the sad, the bad. We suck it up because we don’t want the one to whom we’re reaching to think we are anything but strong.

It’s okay to exhale.

It’s okay to cry.

It’s okay not to be okay right now.

It’s okay to collapse.

It’s okay to say “Hey, #PPDChat? That was hella hard and I need support.”

We will be there.

It’s what we do.

It’s who we are.

It’s how we run things.

We’re strong, each and every one of us.

We’re beautiful, each and every one of us.

But we’re fragile too.

Together though?

As an army?

We are unstoppable.

We are here.

Together.

You, just like her, are not alone.

If you feel triggered by this past week, USE the hashtag.

I promise, an ARMY will be at your side instantly.

Because that’s how we do it.

I love each and every one of you so much it hurts.

You all ROCK.

Today, the #PPDChat Army walks into a hospital

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Today, one of our own is taking a deep breath and walking into a hospital.

She’s not going alone.

We are all going with her. The whole #PPDChat army. Because that’s what we do… we go wherever we are needed. Today, we are needed at a hospital.

Pam, we love you. All of us. We are proud of you for taking this step. Proud of you for the courage we all know too well required to take this step. We know those doors are heavy, frightening, and full of all we don’t want to admit is wrong with us. But you are not pushing them open without us. We are all there, helping you push. Helping you heal. You’re not alone. You are loved. You are supported. By the Army. By the Band. You ROCK.

Also, #PPDChat Army & The Band? We totally rocked it this week – the love we showed Pam is a true testament to the power of social media – and proof that friendship doesn’t have to just be in person to be real. Thank YOU for helping to save a life.

Go leave Pam some love to read when she returns… read her blog post about checking in.

For those of you reading who are part of the #PPDChat army or the Band or just want to show love, @d20Blonde has brilliantly suggested we send Pam a gift to show her our love. Please find me on Twitter @unxpctdblessing or leave a comment stating you’d like to contribute. We’ll be collecting the money via Paypal. Anything you can spare would be greatly appreciated. Update: A gift was ordered and delivered to Pam today. Thank you to everyone who contributed. I’ll be checking into getting a virtual card for us to all sign for her as well.

Whatever Wednesday: Embracing Life

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Life is capable of handing you some extremely sour lemons. They crop up when we least expect them to and carry the ability to completely ruin our day.

But life is also capable of throwing some really sweet fruit your way too. Like ripe juicy strawberries on a summer day. You know the kind… the ones that make you sigh and sink down into your chair when you take that first bite. You don’t even realize there’s juice rolling down your chin because you’re hopelessly lost in Strawberry Blissville.

I know it can seem like all life is tossing you is sour lemons. I’ve been there more than once. But I’ve also had those super sweet strawberries. Learn to enjoy them while they’re around regardless of the stains they may leave on your heart. There is no larger sour lemon than missing out on a handful of joy simply because you were too worried about the what if’s and the consequences.

Live life. Don’t judge it. Don’t wait for it. Don’t miss it, regret it, shun it, or critique it. Live. Embrace your joy. Embrace the pain. But live no matter what. We deserve nothing less.

Sold Out? Kendra Wilkinson & Postpartum Depression

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In March 2010, the media wrangled the story of Kendra Wilkinson’s struggle as a new mother into tabloid stories about Postpartum Depression. Kendra pushed back, claiming she was never diagnosed with Postpartum Depression but that she did have depression. The following excerpt is from a post I authored on the topic:

“She didn’t brush her teeth or hair. Didn’t shower. Finally looked in a mirror and was mortified at the reflection. Even remembers stating she “had nothing to live for.”

The media took immediately jumped on the express to Postpartumville. Postpartum Depression hits ex-Playboy Bunny Kendra Wilkinson. See? Even the perfectly beautiful people have drama and struggle! Cha-Ching!

Yet this week, the week her show premieres, Kendra is pushing back at the media.

According to Kendra, she didn’t suffer from Postpartum Depression as she was never officially diagnosed. And she should know as she’s been in and out of therapy her whole life. Kendra admits it was indeed depression but not postpartum.”

Instead of calling it Postpartum Depression and educating her fans, she labeled it as “Post-Pregnancy Sadness” and moved on with her life.

Think I was upset then?

Try now.

Kendra has a new memoir coming out next month which chronicles her life as a new mother. One of the terms being used to promote the book?

Yup.

Postpartum Depression.

You know, now that Gwyneth and Bryce Dallas-Howard have chic’d it up, Kendra seems to be jumping on the bandwagon. Am I judging, something I repeatedly say I’m not cool with? Hell yes. Why? Because I am absolutely against using the term Postpartum Depression solely to move merchandise.

Yes, she may have had Postpartum Depression. Yes, she may have ended up diagnosed and perhaps her story is indeed detailed in the book. Maybe I should give her some wiggle room. But when you have a celeb vehemently deny the usage of a term and then suddenly embrace said term, it’s a bit hard to swallow. Yes, I realize there is denial involved in Postpartum Depression. All of us have struggled with denial related to PMD. I really want to feel like giving her a break but given her prior behavior in shunning the entire issue, it’s hard to feel compassionate right now. It’s hard not to see this as anything beyond a publicity stunt.

If she did indeed struggle from Postpartum Depression and has since recovered, I’m truly happy for her and wish her all the best with her continued success. I hope she learned a lot as she journeyed through Postpartum Depression. It’s a dark valley but there are many lessons there.

But if this is merely a marketing ploy, I am deeply saddened and disappointed to see we’ve reached this point with Postpartum Depression. Maybe I shouldn’t care so much. Maybe I should just be happy the term is being used. Perhaps I should hope someone among her fans will identify with the term and research it.. find help.. save herself. Any publicity is good publicity, right? I’m not able to come to good terms with this one right now. Maybe one day, just not right now.