Time Capsule: Oh how I pray for Moms & Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorders

Dear future moms,

I pray this finds you in a better situation than the one in which I found myself after the birth of my first daughter. You see, I struggled with something called Postpartum Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It’s crippling. It makes you not want to do anything for fear of the horrific thoughts the simplest action will trigger in your mind.

Making dinner? Have to chop vegetables. Oh. Knife. Shiny. Sharp. Hrrmm.. sharp…

Water. It’d be easy to just slip under and never come back up.

Medication. I wonder how many of these it would take….

Baby. Every single thing which could go wrong has gone wrong in my head. Whether at my hand or at the universe’s hand.

I pray you’re taken more seriously now if you still struggle with these issues. I pray you don’t fear someone taking away your children if you dare to seek help. I pray even more of you have spoken up about these issues and refused to stay silent, feeding stigma. I pray social support and courage are rampant. I pray that perhaps, finally, mothers have the support they need as they face the challenge of Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorders. Or even more boldly, that they don’t even exist any more. But if they do, I pray the road to recovery is much smoother than it is even now.



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