Whatever Wednesday: Climbing on my Soapbox for @Daddyfiles

I know it’s Wednesday. And I know I usually do a fluff post. But today I’m pissed. It’s been a tough day. One thing after another seems to be headed in the wrong direction. So I went for a drive in the sunshine, AC up high, music on blast (until I drove out into the boonies and lost cell signal which meant no more Pandora until I rediscovered civilization.) I returned home refreshed and in need of chocolate. Then hubs took the girls out, Cameron is still in bed, so I’m sitting here on my laptop, tweeting, reading, watching videos, just hanging out.

Stop reading here if you are fragile. Go watch an awesome Natasha Bedingfield video instead!

Remember a few days ago when I gave an award to Aaron Gouveia (@DaddyFiles on Twitter)?

Well, this past Monday he and his wife went to a clinic.

You see, their baby, at 15 weeks along, was diagnosed with Sirenomelia or Mermaid’s Syndrome. There’s a 1 in 100,000 occurrence of this particular syndrome.  Their baby’s case was terminal and they faced a decision, one NO parent should ever have to face. Aaron & MJ moved forward with a decision to terminate the pregnancy, their hearts breaking and mourning this very loved little life ending much too early.

As they drove up to the clinic, protesters with signs welcomed them. People who screamed horrible things at them. People convinced they were making a difference in this world.

All they achieved was to make this world an uglier, darker place for two very hurting people in the midst of their own private hell.


Because they judge every single person walking through the doors of that clinic the SAME EXACT WAY.

We can’t do that. We just cannot do that at all.

Everybody is different. We are all wired differently, we have different circumstances, levels of support, education, understanding, choices, etc. Not everyone who walks through the front door of a clinic at which they perform abortions is someone unprepared to take responsibility for the life which they have created with another human being. And even if they are – abortion is a tough thing to handle emotionally, regardless of the reason behind the procedure. Studies show women who have had an abortion are already at a higher risk for depression than women who have not. Let’s compound that with a mother facing the stillbirth of a wanted and LOVED child who is dying inside of her and add another layer of the trauma of protesters screaming at her as her heart breaks into a thousand pieces while she walks through those doors, shall we? It’s enough to make ME want to have words with the protesters.

Want to know the best way to change people’s minds and hearts?

It’s a huge secret.

I don’t know if I should tell you.

One which Jesus himself exemplified for us so many years ago.


Really – when Jesus was hanging out with the immoral sinners – the thieves, the bandits, the dregs of society – do you think he made up protest signs and stood outside the local bar? Nope. He just walked in and loved on them. Didn’t judge them, just plopped down next to them and started to listen to them talk. Occasionally, He talked back. But mostly He listened.

Try it some time.

The results might just shock you.

But as for Aaron and his wife, he went outside and talked to the protesters after she was called back into surgery. (link to his blog post about the experience. He includes video of the confrontation.)

He handled himself very well.

As for the protesters – beyond “I’m sorry, we didn’t know,” they did not have much of a leg to stand on despite their repeated attempts to find one.

You go, Aaron. Well said, well said indeed.

0 thoughts on “Whatever Wednesday: Climbing on my Soapbox for @Daddyfiles

    1. Lauren Hale

      Aaron has blown me away through all of this. He handled himself very very well in his confrontation with the protesters and I am prayerful that God will use that interaction to open their hearts even just a bit and away from judgment of the people who walk through the door of that clinic.

  1. ksluiter

    Lauren!!! Yet another way that I love you! I so very much agree with you about not judging and loving instead. There was a time in my life where I would have been one of those protesters. But through teaching in an at-risk school and getting out in the world and meeting lots of people? I know now that every situation is so unique–you can’t blanket judge anyone! We all come with our own stories and own reasons behind things–it’s not our job to judge…it’s our job to listen. To show love. Thank you for this AWESOME post and for supporting Aaron and his family!

    1. Lauren Hale

      Thank you.

      It’s a hard lesson to learn – to not judge and instead love. It’s a lesson some never learn. But for those of us who have learned this lesson – it is an invaluable one indeed. One we are responsible for passing on to others in the hopes they too, will be enlightened and hopefully not continue to judge others.

    1. Lauren Hale

      Thanks. My heart has been breaking for them as well. I am comforted to see how much support he has had from so many via Twitter and the blogosphere through all of this. Sharing his story is the very least I can do from so far away.

  2. J Taylor

    Well said. Jesus was about love, not judgment. My heart has been breaking for this couple all week – praying that they will find peace within themselves that this world cannot offer.

    1. Lauren Hale

      I’ve been ferociously praying for them since they found out a couple of weeks ago. God has really laid this couple on my heart and I am angry these protesters did this to them. I know they were trying to do what they thought was right. I pray they learned from their encounter with Aaron. But I suppose we will never know. Doesn’t mean I’ll stop praying for God to change their hearts and open them even if just a bit.

  3. Chris Routly (Daddy Doctrines)

    Well said, Lauren.

    Speaking as a Christian, I’m constantly reminding myself that I reflect Jesus better when I try to be kind than when I try to be “right”. I know that the vast majority of abortion-clinic protesters do it with their heart in the right place and because they feel they are a voice for the voiceless, but the truth is people don’t hear the message if comes in the guise of anger, hatred and judgement.

    1. Lauren Hale

      Chris –

      That’s precisely why I had to say speak up.

      I have always tried to put myself in the other person’s shoes so to speak. I know I would not hear someone yelling and screaming at me. Voiceless does not mean hopeless. Voiceless does not mean anger, hatred, judgment.

      As a Christian myself, it’s important to remember that we do not know to whom we are meant to witness. We also do not know from where our next lesson from God will come. It is of the utmost importance we therefore remain open to all situations and sources. We are responsible for our own paths. I pray God will allow me to walk with others when they need me to most but I also have to realize that only HE can change their path and He will do so in HIS time. All I can do is have faith, pray, and trust in Him to guide me as I walk toward my home with Him in Heaven each day.

  4. Marcie

    Wonderful post as always! Just as I always say, If God, who is perfect in every way does not judge us until we have lived our entire lives, then what right do we as imperfect beings gives us the right to judge anyone? Our calling is to love as Jesus has loved us. Nothing less, nothing more.

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