Tuesday evening this week I held my first peer support group meeting of the month. About an hour and a half in, I was ready to pitch in the towel and go home because no one had shown up. Just then, our one regular drove up. I recognized her vehicle and was happy to see her because I really needed someone to talk to this week. Turned out she needed to talk too but that’s confidential and I can’t share it with you! (sorry!) I listened to her first, and finally decided to share my news. She was thrilled for me and asked if I was scared – not only because of the PPD but because of the potential for a repeat birth defect.
At first I said that I was doing ok, then I stated that it kind of scared me that I’m doing so well with it. She told me not to worry about being scared and to just take the OK part.
Not so sure that I am doing that. In the back of my mind, I’m freaking out a little bit more every day. But by the end of the day, I’m ok again. I feel like such a yo-yo. And I had totally forgotten just how much early pregnancy can mess with your physical well being. Ok, well, pregnancy messes with you in general, but early pregnancy is my least favourite. I am horrible at being exhausted and queasy. I just shut down. I discovered yesterday that as long as I keep my belly VERY full, I don’t get queasy. So I pretty much need to be grazing all day long. Which means I need to find healthy non-fat stuff to snack on because I am determined to not gain a lot of weight this pregnancy. It’d be nice if I could actually end up losing weight when all said is done. Granted I want to have a healthy pregnancy but at nearly 100lbs overweight in the first place, the last thing I need to be doing is adding another 25-35lbs! I handled the Gestational Diabetes diet with my first just fine and she was great so I am trying to slowly gear my diet in that direction.
As far as counseling goes this pregnancy, the first thing I did the day after I got my positives was call my therapist and find out if we could move my appointment up. She saw me the next morning at 730a. I LOVE MY THERAPIST! My husband and I have a joint visit this Tuesday at 6pm. It’ll be interesting to see how that goes. He’s having some stress issues related to the financial aspect and his overall responsibility in that department. I’m hoping we can work through those together. Although he abhors being “shrinked.” Sometimes though – it’s necessary to deal with a tough life situation. And I would certainly call what we’re going through a tough life situation.
That’s all for now – just gotta face my biggest decision of the evening – do I REALLY want to give into my craving for fried chicken skin or not? (yeah, I know, and it IS my weirdest pregnancy craving to date!)