Tag Archives: motherhood

What a crazy week!

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Monday: middle child diagnosed with Bronchitis after an hour wait at pediatrician’s office. Come home, get her on bus, take youngest to get her medicine. Maybe an hour to myself in the middle of the day.

Tuesday: Husband diagnosed with bronchitis at ER after difficulty breathing. (Did not get to sleep until nearly 2am only to wake up at 545 to get daughter on bus in time!)

Wednesday: Recovery

Thursday: Oldest daughter’s cough gets worse.

Friday: Oldest daughter’s cough is much much worse, brought home early from an evening with grandparents.

Saturday: Urgent care with oldest. Diagnosis? Ear Infection and severe allergies.

Sunday: Catching up on the important stuff like email, blogging and trying to bake brownies in the waffle iron.

yeah. It’s been one of THOSE weeks.

Just Talkin’ Tuesday 10.27.09: What’s YOUR Postpartum Mood Disorder Story?

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women talking in sunset

Original Photo taken by tranchis @ flickr

This site was started to help me re-frame an unexpected pregnancy after two rather nasty experiences with Postpartum OCD. Turns out that by doing so I not only helped myself but managed to help a lot of other women along the way.

There was a point during my suffering when I dreaded having to retell my story. Looking back I should have just typed the whole thing up and kept copies on hand – kind of like a resume. (Hey – not a bad idea if you end up having to hunt for a decent doctor!) But there came a turning point where my story began to foster a sense of strength and self. Finally I began to bloom.

We’re all at different points on our journey. Some of us are right in the thick of it, some of us a bit further out, others are fully recovered, some have relapsed and are struggling right back out thanks to the path we carved out the last time we fell down. But we are all in it together.

Rather than retype my entire story here (cuz that would take some time!), you can click here to read about “The Day” I was admitted to psych ward. And if you’re brave enough (ie, preferably not in the thick of it or relapsed) you can read another piece I’ve written here about some of the thoughts I had when things were so dark I couldn’t even see my hand in front of my face.

For me and for many others, telling our story or even venting has become a powerful source of personal therapy. It’s a way to just get some of the stress out of our body, our mind, and even possibly work through issues.

So let’s get to just talkin’ here. I want to hear your stories. I want to know what you’ve gone through/are going through. Speak up. We’re here to be supportive, compassionate, and lend our hearts.

I can’t wait to read what you have to share!

The tenacious insidiousness of Postpartum Insanity

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Over the past summer as I was working through writer’s block and a few other things, there was an essay that lept forth from my fingers. I’ve kept it tucked away. Why? It’s very graphic for one thing. It scares the crap out of me. And frankly I didn’t want to scare the crap out of you, my dear readers. But I realize that if I am to be honest about my experiences I have to be honest about ALL of my experiences. You simply can’t shove Postpartum Mood Disorders up in a neat little box and tie it off with a satin bow to sit daintily in the corner and wait.

No, Postpartum Mood Disorders are more like the exploded laundry basket that is slowly overtaking your house. Regardless of how many times you empty it, it hops about, filling back up and leaving pieces of clothing all over the place.

So I finally decided to post it after reading another blog post about “Publish Already.”

This is really more for me than anyone else. I realize that makes me selfish to a certain extent but I also know that being so brutally honest may just help someone down the road too. It’s time I stopped living with the fear of what others will think of me (yes, even I have fear – I’m human just like you) when I say or do something. It’s time I did just what I did with my Postpartum OCD. Stand. Turn. Fight.

SO – because this piece is truly graphic and should NOT be read by those who are still struggling, I’ve placed it on a separate page. With a warning in bright red at the top. Be warned that there are also a couple of four letter words in there too. Like I said – it kind of spilled forth from my finger tips in a venting rage. I have not edited it much at all.

You can get to it by clicking here. Feel free to comment either there or here or both. Or not at all.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for listening. Sometimes that’s all a mom needs.

Just Talkin’ Tuesday 09.29.09: What does self-care look like for you?

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In my pre-kid days, I took good care of myself. Got my nails done, did my make-up, spent hours on my hair and paid attention to detail. These days I’m lucky if I manage to throw a shirt on without baby food stains, have make-up left over from Sunday church and really lucky if I’ve managed a shower. Point is, I could be doing more. But with three kids it is really hard to get even basics taken care of sometimes.

But I do try to make sure to take time for myself each day and breathe. It may be as small as going to a favorite website or listening to some great music. It may even be as little as a bite of chocolate or some awesome tea.

Motherhood is hard work! Through my bouts with Postpartum Depression I learned that self-care is the most important care. So while my priorities have changed from having awesome nails to making sure I’ve managed to put on stain-free clothes, I still work pretty hard at taking time for myself.

So let’s get to Just Talkin’! What does self-care look like for you? What are some of your favorite “I’m just being me and not a mom or a wife at the moment” things? Tell us!

Danish research and SSRI use during pregnancy

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An article at medpage.com heralds a new study released September 25, 2009 by Danish researchers. The article carries the sensationalized title “SSRIs in Pregnancy Hike Risk of Heart Defects.”

While the title itself raises eyebrows, the researchers themselves state that they were unable to conclude if the results were because of medication or the underlying depression. Also important to keep in mind is that this research is based on women who had prescriptions filled for SSRIs but does not appear to have checked to see if these women actually took the medication. Instead, they rely on data from a national registry.

“Pedersen and colleagues analyzed national registry data on more than 493,000 births in Denmark from 1996 to 2003. The data included prescriptions filled by mothers-to-be as well as the medical status of their babies at birth.”

And directly from the study:

Our results, however, depend on a correlation between redemptions of prescriptions and drug use. Non-compliance might be a problem for this type of exposure definition and could mask true associations if some of the “exposed” were in fact unexposed.

The most interesting piece to come out of this research is that of the studied SSRI’s, Paxil appeared to have the least risk of septal heart defects. I find this very interesting considering that Paxil is the only SSRI to currently carry a heart defect specific warning.

As with all studies and research, you should always examine all sides and aspects and educate yourself rather than relying on the word of others when making your final decision. Ask yourself if the person presenting the information has your best interest at heart or is merely trying to frighten you with inflated facts and figures. (Click here to read a previous post full of tips on how to find solid medical advice on the web.)

Dr. Shoshana Bennett, author of “Pregnant on Prozac” released this statement regarding this research:

Finally, treatment for the serious and potentially life-threatening illness of prenatal depression (for both mom and therefore baby) is being formally discussed. Fifteen percent of clinically depressed pregnant women try to take their lives – a bit more risky for the baby than mom taking an antidepressant, wouldn’t you say? If the pregnant woman can be non-depressed without a medication, that’s optimal. Some form(s) of treatment, however is essential. If natural and alternative approaches to wellness are not enough, it is regarded by those in the know to be safer for her (and her developing baby) to take an antidepressant than to remain depressed. Depression itself – it is quite clear from the research – crosses the placenta and alters the uterine environment causing negative consequences to the baby. In the latest research there appears to be low (0.9%) chance of a septal heart defect in babies whose mothers had taken certain antidepressants. However, what fear-mongers do not report, is that the researchers themselves could not be sure whether it’s the antidepressant or the underlying depression itself that caused the defect. Women need all relevant information and education about options for treatment during pregnancy so they can make the best decision for themselves and their family. Watch out for alarmists who are not interested in actual data – they are simply invested in promoting fear in women who are at their most vulnerable.

Shoshana Bennett, Ph.D.

http://DrShosh.com

Increased risk was determined by “redemption” of more than one SSRI prescription. Those who redeemed more than one prescription had infants with a higher percentage of septal heart defects. But again this begets the question of whether or not this result lay with the SSRI or the underlying depression/mental illness/stress the mother may have been experiencing in order to receive said prescription.

Bottom line here: Don’t think for a second that becoming a Mom starts at birth. It starts at conception. And we owe ourselves AND our infants the best start possible. This means researching by asking questions and seeking out solid answers. It means finding physicians who will be your co-pilot instead of an uncooperative Auto-Pilot unaware of the pot-holes facing them. It means putting together the best support you can with what you have access to at the time. I happen to agree that a SSRI free pregnancy is absolutely optimal. I also think you should run (not walk) out of any doctor’s office if said doctor is quicker with the script pad than the warm shoulder. But we have to remember that every situation is different. Every person is different and every pregnancy is different. And sometimes we may just have to take medication. It doesn’t make you weaker, it doesn’t make you stupid, and it doesn’t make you a bad mom. And above all, remember that the decision to take or not to take a SSRI during pregnancy is your decision. Make it with an empowered spirit, stick to it, and don’t look back.