Category Archives: life

Sharing the Journey with Arlene Pellicane

Arlene is a co-blogger with Sue McRoberts at Totally New Moms. Today I am posting her interview. She is passionate, strong, and truly carries a desire to help others take the best care of the body God gave them the best way possible.

Arlene Pellicane

1)  When did you become a Christian and what has helped to solidify or sustain your faith over the years?

I grew up going to Catholic church, but when I was in elementary school, my family started going to a Assembly of God church.  I accepted Christ as my personal Savior around 6th grade.  I remember feeling the love of God whenever I walked into the church as a child. 
 
2) What do you find to be most challenging about Motherhood? The least?

Rearranging schedules around naptimes.  Yes, I’m the parent who says, “I’m sorry.  That time won’t work because my baby will be napping.”  I’d like to be more flexible but it’s just no fun being out with a cranky baby!  And long plane rides – yikes!  The least challenging is reading stories and having fun with my kids.   

(My note – I do the SAME thing – if it’s nap time, it’s not happening! Naps are not sacrificed unless it’s an absolute emergency!)

3) How has becoming a Mother changed you?

Has it strengthened your faith in God?

Being a mom has been the greatest joy of my life.  We had trouble conceiving, so when we had our first child Ethan, he was our miracle.  Then we lost a baby girl at 26 weeks and that really taught me to trust in the Lord with all my heart.  On what would have been our baby’s due date, I found out I was pregnant again.  We rejoice in God’s blessing and healing touch in our lives.  My children have taught me so much.  Motherhood certainly puts your patience and strength to the test. 
 
4) In your opinion, what aspect of Motherhood should be most celebrated?

Celebrate the honor and privilege of training a child for life.  Before having children, people would say sarcastically, “Oh, your life will never be the same” – as in, enjoy your life now because you’re going to hate the next 18 years.  That is what Zig Ziglar might call, “stinking thinking!”  We didn’t want to hear those kind of remarks.  Yes, motherhood has changed my life forever – for the better! 
 
5) I viewed an online video piece in which you spoke about your daughter, Angel Rose and was impressed by the strength with which you told your story. Is there any advice from your experience you would share with other mothers who one day may face a similar situation?

When difficulties enter your life, walk through those dark days with an open hand and heart towards God.  Cry out to Him to strengthen and comfort you and He will.  On the contrary, if you clench your fist and say, “Why did you allow this to happen to me?” it hardens your heart and slows down the healing process.  There’s a song by Steven Curtis Chapman titled “Miracle of the Moment” that says, “And if it brings you tears, then taste them as they fall, let them soften your heart.”  When you allow the sorrows of life to soften your heart, you will someday look back upon that sorrow with a sweetness that can only come through Christ. 
 
6) What do you do to spoil yourself when you have time away from the kids?

Go to the outlet mall.  I love shopping for bargains and it’s hard to really look through those sales racks and try on clothes with a baby and toddler.  Or watch a chick flick like Sense and Sensibility.   
 
7) What is your number one not-so-healthy food to spend your calories on?

Ice cream!  At our local grocery store, you can buy 2 gallons for $6 – that spells trouble!  We do this on special occasions like birthdays, usually choosing Cookies and Cream and Chocolate Moose Tracks which is chocolate ice cream with chocolate chunks and fudge.  I am a sucker for chocolate!
 
8) When did your website, Losing Weight After Baby begin to take shape?

I’ve always wanted to write a book but wasn’t sure what the book would be about.  After having 3 pregnancies in 3 years in my 30s, my friends were asking how I got back into shape.  I began to journal about it and the idea for the book was born, Losing Weight After Baby: 31 Days to a New You.  The book is made up of 31 daily readings that any busy mom can read to get motivated and encouraged about shedding those pregnancy pounds.  The website was born out of the book which hopefully will published in the next year or so. 
 
The website http://www.losingweightafterbaby.com features more than 60 articles and a free weekly podcast, Losing Weight After Baby.  Soon, I’ll be adding will be free videos and mini eBooks in the online store. 
 
 
9) How did the idea for your joint blog, Totally New Moms with Sue McRoberts and Rebecca Ingram Powell come to fruition?

I saw Rebecca’s book, Baby Boot Camp, and I wanted to know more about her experience with getting it published.  I emailed her with a few questions.  She kindly responded and it was a God connection!  She and Sue have been so terrific to blog with. 
 
10)  If there was one piece of advice you could give to an expectant mother (new or experienced), what would it be and why would this be important for her to hear?

Champion your children and expect the very best from them.  Give your children a good name to live up to.  Let your children overhear you saying things like, “I am so proud of my son.  He is learning how to share,” instead of “My son is driving me crazy!”  They will rise to your level of expectation. 

Sharing the Journey with Sue McRoberts

I have had the good fortune recently to get to know Sue McRoberts, author of The Lifter of My Head: How God Sustained me during Postpartum Depression, and 1/3 of the blogging team at Totally New Moms. The following are 10 questions I emailed to her and the responses I received. Enjoy!

(As a side note, interviews with Arlene and Rebecca from Totally New Moms will be arriving shortly as well!)

Sue McRoberts

1) When did you become a Christian and what has helped to solidify or sustain your faith over the years?
 I became at Christian at the age of 8 but I didn’t really understand it until I was 14.  In college I started really living out my faith.  What has solidified my faith is God’s faithfulness.  He’s always done what he says in scripture he will do.  Seeing God’s consistency and compassion has sustained me.

2)      What made you decide to write your book, The Lifter of my Head: How God Sustained Me through Postpartum Depression?
I went to a local Christian bookstore, looking for a book on postpartum depression from a Christian’s perspective.  There was no such book on the shelf.  After doing some research no one at the store could  find such a book on the Internet either.  The clerk suggested to me that I should go home and pray about  whether or not perhaps God wanted me to write that book.  At first I thought that was the craziest thing I’d ever heard.  God gave me no peace until I started writing!  
 
 
3)      What kind of process did you go through to write your book? What part was the most difficult to write?
Writing from beginning to end what happened to me during my PPD experience was excruciating.  I wrote 95% of my book while I was sick.  I wrote the book as these things were actually happening.  Only editing was done while I was well.  I cut about 35,ooo words from my final manuscript. I had a lot I wanted to share!  The process itself was simple.  I had  a brainstorming notebook I constantly wrote in.  I wrote constantly when ideas would come.  Sometimes at 3 a.m I would do my best writing and thinking.  For me the toughest part was describing the darkest parts of my illness.  I wrote the whole thing in faith that God wanted me to do it.  But I never believed for one second that anyone would relate to my experiences with psychosis.  I was wrong!  Other than that, reading the book in it’s entirety for the audio CD’s was a nightmare.  It’s one thing to write it and edit it over 6-8 months.  To read it in 5 hours was tough emotionally.  Hearing those words come out of my own mouth about broke me. 
 

4)      Prior to Motherhood, what was the main focus of your life?

I was a teacher and a coach.  My students were my life.  I miss teaching and coaching so much that it’s difficult to express that emptiness in my life.  I’ve filled that with a great husband, three kids, and much ministry but boy do I miss it.
 

5)      What is the hardest part of Motherhood? The easiest?

 The hardest part of motherhood for me is having strong willed kids only to discover that maybe I’m strong willed too.  That can be volatile so I’ve learned to be a little more passive and easy going.   What else is hard for me is that  I can’t make them choose the right things in life.  I can only guide them and that is scary.  I’ve learned to guide them and pray for them but let God take the reigns. It freaks me out to much to try to control these little people.   They aren’t puppets.  I was shocked when I discovered that!

The easiest part for me is playing with my kids.  I love pitching baseball to them, kicking a soccer ball, riding bikes.  My five year old can’t stand when I want to work on reading or math with him.  He sees me as his soccer pal.  So playing is a very important thing in our house. 

6)      How has becoming a Mother changed you? Has it strengthened your faith in God?

 I have three strong willed kids, all of which have worn me out at times.  I’ve learned to focus on what really matters and know what those things are that I will battle on and which ones aren’t so important.  Strong willed kids will get in your face no matter what though.  They love a fight and a challenge.  So I have had to rely on God for strength, creativity in parenting, rest, and most of all some grace for my kids.  It has strengthened my faith in God tremendously.  When my first child got her first spanking at 18 months she looked at me and said, “Is that all you’ve got?”  I knew I was in trouble!  But God has stayed with me!

7)      In your opinion, what aspect of Motherhood should be most celebrated?

 The fact that we  are molding and shaping godly men and women one diaper at a time, one feeding at a time, one school grade at a time, one conversation at a time.  Every day we are impacting our children’s lives.  Mothering matters!   It’s only what you do for Christ that counts.  Leading your kids to Christ, teaching them to walk with and depend on him…these things count.

8)      When you get time to yourself, how do you pamper yourself?
 
I eat breakfast out with my friends, go to dinner and a movie with my husband, or go for a nice  long run.
 
9)      How did the idea for your joint blog, Totally New Moms with Arlene Pellicane and Rebecca Ingram Powell come to fruition?

 I knew when Rebecca agreed to write an endorsement for my book that we would one day work together.  I prayed about it for ages.  I don’t even know if Rebecca knows that.  We both have a heart for girls and women.  That drew me to  her.  Arlene was Rebecca’s special find!  I’m pretty sure the idea started with me and Rebecca talking about it.  Then Rebecca  found Arlene and it took off from there.  I think the three of us have such different styles and personalities, we complement each other well.

10)   If there was one piece of advice you could give to an expectant mother (new or experienced), what would it be and why would this be important for her to hear?

Look for resources around you, they are everywhere.  Printed material, experienced mothers in different seasons of life, your Bible, your doctor, your neighbors.  Listen and learn.  Be open to other’s opinions and take help when it’s offered.  And above all, don’t be so hard on yourself.  We aren’t perfect and that really shows up in our mothering.  But don’t beat yourself up for a decade because you did or said something wrong to your child.  (I’ve done that…)  Kids are resilient.  We aren’t most of the time.  Ask God’s forgiveness and move on.  There’s bigger things to come!   And just think, some day you’ll be entering middle age and you’ll not know where the time went.  Cherish the good, the bad, and the ugly of mothering because it all matters!

A Little Nervous

I have my first “big” speaking engagement on Friday and I can feel myself starting to get nervous. I know I’ll be fine. I’m really looking forward to meeting Katherine Stone and Dr. Jeffrey Newport. I am more in awe that I have been asked to speak along with them than anything else and it speaks volumes to me as to how far I have come since giving birth to my first daughter and struggling through those first dark days of Postpartum OCD all alone. I have found immense comfort in the knowledge that I will never be alone again and that has made all the difference this time around. (Ok, that, and the meds. I can’t forget about the meds.)

I’d like to take this opportunity to again thank everyone who believed in me and has supported me through this endeavor – especially my husband who lived through it all with me and is still here (although snoring at the moment) and as strong as ever. Amazement really doesn’t do this justice – the journey I’ve been on has been such a treacherous and yet fantastically awe-inspiring one at the same time. I can’t wait to share it on Friday and hopefully educate and light the way for other women to emerge from their PPD coccoon with as much strength and energy and support as I have.

A Dark Place

Last night, I slid a little further towards that dark hole those of us who have had PPD know a little too well. I felt as if it reached out and grabbed me, sucking me down until only a glimmer of light remained. I called my husband in tears about 10 minutes before he got off work. Not only had Cameron been nursing non-stop, he had been spitting up non-stop. When I went to get him up, his sheet was drenched and so was he. I cleaned him up best I could – in between our one and a half year old running in and out of his room and not minding me at all. In addition, as I changed Cameron’s sheets, he vomited at least three times. Alli was a charmer all day yesterday. I can’t imagine how much worse things would have been had she been misbehaving too. I let myself get angry – angry about the Nyastatin, angry that Charlotte wasn’t listening, angry that every time I called the pizza place either Cameron or Charlotte would scream. I finally called my husband and had him call in our order for us. I had already started swirling downwards by that point though – way down – and I knew it – and part of me wanted to stop it yet another part of me wanted to submit. Once my husband called in our pizza order, fresh air seemed to surround me and things started to look up. I managed to cling to the side of the dark hole and not fall too far. Once I got the girls to bed, things started to calm down. Cameron was up until 1130 – spitting up and nursing, poor thing. But he did sleep in my arms for a bit and that was blissful. In fact, it’s what calmed me down the most. Well, that and knowing Chris was here to attend to anything else that might happen. I now had support here and that was a HUGE relief.

 Today, after Chris gets off work, I will be taking the car and going to get myself  a coffee and either picking up a few groceries or getting a NY Giants shirt. (Maybe both!) I told Chris I needed some time alone today to recover from yesterday and he quickly agreed. I am going to try and pump a little bit later – there’s already 3oz in the fridge but Cameron is a hungry baby in the afternoons so I need to try and leave more than he will need.

Even though I am having bad days, the good days have outnumbered them by far – and when I have a bad day, I am able to recognize that it is nothing more than that – a bad day. I am also able to balance that with a plan to improve the next day.

My husband shared something with me today. He found an interesting tip on the internet about achieving your goals. Take a blank index card. Write positive affirmations or notes to yourself on it. Carry it with you wherever you go – look at it as needed. I think I’m going to do that – after all, writing here has helped me tremendously. I can’t imagine what carrying little positive affirmations will do for me.

A note on Cameron’s spitting up:  

Cameron’s pediatrician finally called in his Nyastatin prescription and he started it on Wednesday. Yesterday he spent most of the day spitting up and vomiting. I stopped the Nyastatin and will be using diluted Grapefruit Seed Extract instead. I have no intention of calling his pediatrician’s office because according to them, “Nyastatin shouldn’t make him spit up.” Um, well, it does, and no thanks to the nurse who actually told my husband “It shouldn’t make him spit up, just hold his mouth shut so it all stays in” Yes, we are writing a letter of complaint. Not only for that, but for the fact that we called the ped’s office on MONDAY about thrush and it took them until WEDNESDAY to call something in – and even then, they couldn’t remember what they were supposed to call in. UGH!

Mornin’

Cameron officially has a nighttime routine!

 YAY!

I got up with him twice last night. He goes to bed around 10p, wakes up at 1, 4, and then 7. Wooohoooo!

I like the time he wakes up because I will get him up, change him, then take him into the living room to nurse. No one else is awake yet so it’s “my” time even though yes, I have a baby attached to me. Once I lay him back down, I take the dogs out before getting the girls up so more “me” time.

I am definitely adjusting to the new routine.

 As for the emotional aspect – my OB added Wellbutrin to my Lexapro and I am happy to say that it seems to be working so far. Of course, I just started it yesterday so we’ll have to see. I am supposed to be going today to get my Mirena placed. No more lil babies for us – and that does make me sad in a way but then again, I know that there’s just no way I could handle another pregnancy and we’re tight enough financially as it is right now. So I’m doing the responsible thing and getting the birth control on the right path.

Gotta run, he just finished nursing so now it’s time for my morning freeze. :-)