Category Archives: motherhood

The tenacious insidiousness of Postpartum Insanity

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Over the past summer as I was working through writer’s block and a few other things, there was an essay that lept forth from my fingers. I’ve kept it tucked away. Why? It’s very graphic for one thing. It scares the crap out of me. And frankly I didn’t want to scare the crap out of you, my dear readers. But I realize that if I am to be honest about my experiences I have to be honest about ALL of my experiences. You simply can’t shove Postpartum Mood Disorders up in a neat little box and tie it off with a satin bow to sit daintily in the corner and wait.

No, Postpartum Mood Disorders are more like the exploded laundry basket that is slowly overtaking your house. Regardless of how many times you empty it, it hops about, filling back up and leaving pieces of clothing all over the place.

So I finally decided to post it after reading another blog post about “Publish Already.”

This is really more for me than anyone else. I realize that makes me selfish to a certain extent but I also know that being so brutally honest may just help someone down the road too. It’s time I stopped living with the fear of what others will think of me (yes, even I have fear – I’m human just like you) when I say or do something. It’s time I did just what I did with my Postpartum OCD. Stand. Turn. Fight.

SO – because this piece is truly graphic and should NOT be read by those who are still struggling, I’ve placed it on a separate page. With a warning in bright red at the top. Be warned that there are also a couple of four letter words in there too. Like I said – it kind of spilled forth from my finger tips in a venting rage. I have not edited it much at all.

You can get to it by clicking here. Feel free to comment either there or here or both. Or not at all.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for listening. Sometimes that’s all a mom needs.

Speaking up across the blogosphere

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I’d like to recognize the growing numbers of bloggers discussing Postpartum Depression here at Sharing the Journey. I’ll try to post a list like this each week. If you come across (or write) a great blog that includes a postpartum mood disorder experience and isn’t already on my blog roll, email it to me @ ppdacceptance at gmail dot com.

Today’s featured bloggers are:

Trying to find my way through Postpartum Depression (a newly diagnosed mom sharing her journey! Please go and say hi!)

Willis, Party of 6: Postpartum Depression (military mom shares her journey with four kids!)

Sisters from different Misters (Cassie) shares about “Things I’ve learned from my therapist,” a relationship which all started when she developed postpartum depression.

Jen from Tales of a Southern Yankee (a new favorite blog of mine) shares about her postpartum experience in a wonderful post entitled “Things we do not say”

And while the next link is not a blog, it’s a worthy read. An article from Wales which delves into the postnatal depression experience and encourages mothers not to suffer alone. You can read this article by clicking here.

Just Talkin’ Tuesday 09.29.09: What does self-care look like for you?

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In my pre-kid days, I took good care of myself. Got my nails done, did my make-up, spent hours on my hair and paid attention to detail. These days I’m lucky if I manage to throw a shirt on without baby food stains, have make-up left over from Sunday church and really lucky if I’ve managed a shower. Point is, I could be doing more. But with three kids it is really hard to get even basics taken care of sometimes.

But I do try to make sure to take time for myself each day and breathe. It may be as small as going to a favorite website or listening to some great music. It may even be as little as a bite of chocolate or some awesome tea.

Motherhood is hard work! Through my bouts with Postpartum Depression I learned that self-care is the most important care. So while my priorities have changed from having awesome nails to making sure I’ve managed to put on stain-free clothes, I still work pretty hard at taking time for myself.

So let’s get to Just Talkin’! What does self-care look like for you? What are some of your favorite “I’m just being me and not a mom or a wife at the moment” things? Tell us!

The importance of Kangaroo Mother Care

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"Day 6" by samwebster @ flickr

"Day 6" by samwebster @ flickr

Kanga-what?

Kangaroo Mother Care is when a human mother and her infant snuggle skin to skin with the infant lying prone on mom’s chest. It’s a term coined after the Kangaroo’s close relationship with her little joey who doesn’t come out of mom’s pouch for four months after birth. Instead, joey relies on mom’s warmth, nutrition, and support for his “fourth” trimester. Research has concluded over and over again that this care is invaluable for both human moms and babies as well.

In 2007 a study published in the Oxford Tropical Pediatrics from researchers at the Instituto Materno Infantil in Brazil concluded that Kangaroo Mother Care may prove helpful in warding off postpartum depression. Researchers evaluated mothers at the beginning of NICU care and at the end of their Kangaroo Mother Care. NO mother developed depression during their Kangaroo stay. Let me say that again. NO MOTHER developed depression during their Kangaroo stay.

WHO, the World Health Organization, also offers an article regarding Kangaroo Care in the early months of infancy. Their article focuses on the bonding and encouragement of breastfeeding that Kangaroo Care provides. Many of the after-birth procedures and examinations can take place while baby is on Mom’s stomach in the prone position thereby improving chances of maternal and infant bonding.

There’s also another personal story proving the very value of Kangaroo Mother Care. Carolyn Isbister, a mom out of Edinburgh, saved her infant’s life with a Kangaroo Cuddle. Her little one had been given up on by doctors. Carolyn cuddled with her infant to say goodbye. She and her husband watched as their daughter’s breathing and heart beats regulated. They watched as she went from grey to pink. Carolyn’s little girl is now healthy and home, thanks to Kangaroo Mother Care.

One of the calmest moments I had in the midst of my own downward spiral was as I sat with Charlotte snuggled up on my chest. We were in the middle of the NICU, beeps and boops all around us. The fragility of life hung heavy in the air. Her many wires, tubes, and other non-baby items draped across me as well. But all that mattered was her soft warm head resting peacefully under my chin, her breath caressing my chest. I wrapped my arms as tightly as I dared around her tiny body and closed my eyes. This was a moment in which I wanted to get lost. I wasn’t experiencing many of those at the time. Time stopped as we stepped out of the NICU and into our own little world for a bit. Even as I type this I can still smell her fresh baby scent and feel the weight of her little body curled up on my chest. It is a moment I will always cherish and never forget. My eye in the midst of a hurricane from hell.

If you’re a new mom struggling with bonding with your new infant, please try Kangaroo Mother Care. It’s free, it’s easy (mostly naked baby, mostly topless parent) and it does wonders.

There is a website dedicated to the promotion of Kangaroo Mother Care as the standard of care for all newborns. They do sell products there which I am not endorsing in any way shape or form. But the website is very informative and something worth checking out if you’re interested in trying Kangaroo Care, know or work with a population who may benefit from this option. You can reach Kangaroo Mother Care by clicking here.

Writer’s Block sucks

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Maybe it was my kids being sick for over a month this summer.

Maybe it was struggling to finally celebrate and enjoy my new life with my family (once they were healed).

Maybe it’s having to process the whole Otty Sanchez thing.

Regardless, I’ve been struggling lately to write about anything Postpartum related. And I mean REALLY struggling.

School started a few weeks ago, my husband started a new job, and I’ve been the family chauffeur to boot. In the middle of the day, I now have time to myself with just Cameron. We’ve been laughing, bonding, and just getting a kick out of getting to really know each other. He’s 20 months old now, walking, learning new words, and developing a really hilarious sense of humor while he’s at it. His favorite thing? To walk around in circles whilst screeching “wheeeeee!” almost at the top of his lungs. Second favorite is watching Mama make the cross-eyed and tongue stuck out funny face. His laugh instantly warms the room!

So forgive me for leaving you hanging – I’ve been enjoying the truly important things in my life – my kids, my husband, and just life in general.

I promise I haven’t forgotten about you!