Monthly Archives: December 2013

2014: Breathe, Yawp, Live

‘Tis the season to split oneself between the nostalgia of days gone by and the promising anticipation of sparkling new things yet to arrive. It’s the time of year we find ourselves inundated by “Best of” lists and the ever daunting “resolution” lists. December ends and January begins in an odd state of limbo swirling around us as if it were a beautiful and haunting blizzard threatening to swallow us whole if we stopped long enough to stare at the accumulating drifts of lists beneath our feet.

Is it okay for us to stop and stare at this vortex of nostalgia and anticipation? Will we be awestruck by the ferocity of the electricity dancing about in the overhead clouds? Or should we doggedly march forward, one right after the other, heads down, ignoring the invigorating storm?

Stop and smell the roses, we are told. But we are also told not to let the grass grow under our feet. Take the road less traveled, it will make all the difference. Do not go gentle into the good night, rage, rage against the light. We are all meant to meet that light one day. But until then, take the road less traveled and refuse to do anything less than rage against it. Yawp until you can yawp no more. Live life, don’t let life live you.

We seek, in life, a balance of joy and sorrow. We reach for joy when the sorrow shreds our soul to the bone, bleeding our hearts dry until there is nothing left, not even the marrow to suck out of life. So we are still, frozen, in grief, pain, whatever the reason, until joy surges forward and replenishes the marrow and our life force. With this resurgence comes the drive to rage against life. How do I know this? Because I have been there – splayed open for the world to see, my heart atrophied and hardened on the bare floor, aching for hope and love. It stayed there awhile, resigned to never finding love again, trapped in the penumbra of a hovel deep in the woods. Yet, it still beat and now, it is full of life-blood, dancing in the light of joy because of a daring rescue.

I wish that for those who read this. I know so many who have lost or faced difficult changes this past year. I am here to tell you that it gets better. The grey lifts, the sun rises, and the sky does fill with spectacular colour. It never stopped. It’s just waiting for you rise up from beneath the waves and see the tango of exploding soft oranges, pinks, and pale blues as you watch, breathlessly, the sun languidly traverse a cerulean sky until the clouds, holding hands, bed the sun beneath the horizon. As your feet find the shore, caressing the wet sand for the first time in eons, you exhale, letting go of the shattered soul which has claimed you for far too long. You slink out of your old soul and into your new one, the promises of joy filling your heart with a joy more beautiful than any fully bloomed scarlet rose covered gently in sweet morning dew.

Breathe.

Yawp.

Live.

This, this is your year.

Make it so.

#PPDChat Topic 12.09.13: Redefining Happy – The Road Back After PPD

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A funny thing happens when you Google “define happy.” You get a return of millions of results. There’s a prominent definition at the top of the results which is standard if you Google “define (variable word).”

It looks like this: Define Happy Google SearchThing is, those are all words.

They don’t capture the journey one must MAKE to arrive at “carefree, radiant, joyous, beatific, contented, etc…” do they?

No.

Words make a difference every single time. We use words to convey our feelings, our emotions, our journeys but we so often forget to dig deeper than the words leaping off the page (or screen) at us. We forget that behind the word “joy” there is a sour grape, lurking down the rabbit hole of the “o” in the middle of the word. Or we ignore the uncompleted circle in the “c” of carefree.

We use words to define ourselves to others in bios, in résumés, and on various other forms. Choose your words carefully for they reflect the journey of your life…of you.

Our words falter when we trip down the rabbit hole that is a Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorder or other Mental Health disorders. So we dust off our thesaurus and desperately search for happy. But it’s not where we will find our happy. We will find our happy in the battles we fight as we journey back to ourselves.

Join me tonight at 830pm ET tonight on Twitter as we discuss the challenge in finding ourselves again…the challenge of redefining our happy…it’s a helluva battle but it’s one worth fighting every time. See you there!

Whatever Wednesday: When a Fur is Really a Fir and No One Cares

I traveled this past week down to my parents’ place for Thanksgiving.

On Friday we ventured out to the local grocery store which was safe to do because my parents live out in a very rural area.

Of course the store had Christmas trees for sale out front because what else do you put on sale the day after Thanksgiving?

A fabulous green sign proclaimed the prices of these trees on the store’s front entryway door.

Fur TreesSee?

The “Large Fur” was only $29.99. The “Small Fur” was a steal at just $19.99.

After reading the sign again, I glanced at the trees. They were not fuzzy or furry. There were no furs on sale.

Upon entering the store, I went straight to the first employee I saw which happened to be the woman in the floral section. It made total sense to talk with her about this because well, she deals with the plants, right?

“Hi. So, I had a question about the sign outside about the trees for sale. Who can I talk to about it?”

“I’ll answer what I can…”

“Great! The word “fur” is misspelled. I’m sure it’s an honest mistake but the word for trees is spelled f-i-r, not f-u-r as your sign currently states.”

“Ummm….” She then gave me a blank stare. “Right. The large trees are $29.99 and the small ones are…”

I interrupted her, giggling because clearly she misunderstood me. “No, no, no. I don’t want a tree. I want the sign fixed because it’s misleading. Is there a manager I can talk to about that?”

“Well, the girl who did it… (insert puzzled look)… we’ll be taking them down later today anyway….”

“Great. Because those trees are not f-u-rs, they are f-i-rs.”

The kicker?

The above photo was taken the FOLLOWING AFTERNOON.

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