Monthly Archives: August 2013


Finding Joy in the Dark

We recently moved. Believe me, I want to tell you why because it was hell, but I just am not ready to do so yet for a couple of reason. First, I’m still recovering, and second, we haven’t quite wrapped up the final details of the move with our former residence yet. Once we’re free, I really look forward to sharing everything. Because whoa.

One of the things that the last place we lived did to me, particularly over the past couple of months, was give me a case of near-agoraphobia. I hated going out because I never knew what I’d come home to and if I’d be able to make it from my car to our door without running into someone.

Now that we’re at the new place, we can go places. I can go places by myself. I still force myself to get off the couch and go, though, because the memories are so fresh and the fear is still bubbling just below the surface that if I go out….

But today I forced myself to get up and run errands. I needed to return a couple of things plus I needed to pick up a couple of things. So I got ready, gathered the returns and the receipts, and got in my car.

After I merged onto the interstate,  a car flew past me. One of the bumper stickers caught my eye.

It looked a lot like this:

dont postpone joy

The reaction was visceral. Tears welled, my heart raced (more than it already was thanks to minor anxiety), and I was MOVED. The car continued on its way and I realized that had I been even 2 seconds later, I would not have seen this perfectly apropos message.

And then I pulled into Sam’s Club for my first return.

I was greeted by this lovely sight:


The owner came out before I got out of my car (the club wasn’t open for us non-business folk just yet). On my way in, I stopped and talked with her for a few minutes. I told her how I had just seen a car with a bumper sticker that said “Don’t Postpone Joy” and how shortly after that, I pulled in to see her van. She was very friendly and open to talking.

She said a lot of people smile at it. “Why not put it on the side of my van? It’s a free billboard!”

She delivers phone books, she said, and sometimes that can irritate people. But when they see the cheerful message, it kind of neutralizes her throwing the phone book in their driveway, etc.

Her inspiration?

Her son received a bracelet with the saying on it and she was quite taken with it. “Why NOT?!?” Her daughter also has a tattoo of the saying on her ankle. (Her son walked up whilst I was talking with her and made a point of telling me about his bracelet. They all seemed quite used to discussing the saying on the side of the van. SO grateful I had the opportunity to talk with all three of them.)

Live. Love. Laugh.

Spray painted on the side of a rickety old van parked in a handicapped spot.

If that’s not proof that there IS joy everywhere you turn…

Don’t postpone your joy.

Go out and live, love, and laugh.

That’s the message the universe sent me this morning.

What an amazing Monday.

PPDChat Life With a Baby Guest Announcement

Announcing Monday’s #PPDChat Guest: @lifewithababy

PPDChat Life With a Baby Guest Announcement

On Monday, we’ll be talking about a very important aspect of Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorders with Claire of @lifewithababy.  Claire is the Executive Director of Healthy Start, Healthy Future and Founder of the Life With A Baby program. Life With A Baby is a three-tiered peer support system for parents.  It offers local, community-based social events to build relationships, online support, and multi-lingual parenting programs.  Claire founded Life With A Baby after her own struggles with social isolation and depression.  Life With A Baby serves over 5000 members across the province of Ontario.  Claire is involved in innovative initiatives and partnerships focused on peer support, parenting, newcomer supports, parent engagement, and financial literacy.  She is passionate about supporting parents, developing collaborations, reducing social isolation, and building healthy and strong parent-child relationships. Claire was nominated for the 2013 Citizen of Character award in York Region.

Our discussion will focus around the concept that if you struggle with a Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorder, you don’t love your baby.   We know that’s not true. Many of us love our children more than we are capable of expressing.  Sure, we may be exasperated with them, with the issues we face as a result of our PMAD, but simply having a PMAD is not indicative of not loving your child. It can take time to bond, time to get to what other mothers seem to have so easily, but it doesn’t make us less of a woman or less of a mother. It also doesn’t mean that we aren’t in love with our child simply because we aren’t expressing it how we are “supposed” to according to society.


Join Claire and myself as we talk about this very important aspect of PMAD’s and attempt to remove some of the stigma around the assumption that mothers with a PMAD don’t love their children. (Because we do!)

Also, if you’re in Claire’s neck of the woods, check out their pledge – they’re working to reduce isolation. If you’re able to host just one peer event, sign the pledge. End the isolation of new mothers and help decrease episodes of Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorders.

We will be chatting at 1pm ET about the same topic but Claire won’t be joining us until 8:30pm ET. Look forward to seeing you there!!!

Announcing Karen Kleiman as #PPDChat guest on August 12, 2013

I am THRILLED to be announcing the upcoming guest for #PPDChat!!!

Karen Kleiman is an expert in the field and is also the person who inspired me to start this blog so any time I get to collaborate with her, I get very excited. Read more about Karen’s great work here.

On Monday, August 12, 2013, Karen will be joining us for a discussion about Scary/Intrusive Thoughts. This topic is often at the top of the search terms which lead people to my blog. In fact, I recently made a graphic of all the search terms which led people to my blog relating to this very topic. There were quite a few variations as you can see for yourself:

Postpartum OCD search terms

Also, my top post for the past week was “Do the Thoughts Ever Go Away?

No one really has definitive answers as the thoughts fade, but even as a parent, we all struggle with the “what if’s” of the challenge in raising our kids and keeping them safe.

Join Karen and I as we navigate this important topic on Monday, August 12, 2013 at 8:30pm ET. We look forward to seeing you there!