Category Archives: postpartum depression

Happy Holidays bring internet absence

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If you read my blog regularly, I’m sure you’ve noticed it’s been almost a month since I’ve posted anything.

Not publishing Thanksgiving weekend was intentional. I went home for the first time in years and thoroughly enjoyed the chaotic visit filled with all the turkey trimmings.

Upon returning home, my laptop died. I did not lose any data so don’t freak out for me. Seems my mouse is taking a line from ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas a bit early. Not a creature is stirring, not even my mouse. You see, it scurries just fine until I click on something. Then it scampers toward one of the four corners (most often the upper right hand one), refusing to come out unless the computer is manually restarted. I suspect an elf has hidden some irresistible Linberger cheese up there.

I have been trying to keep up with my email via my phone but now my mobile email program is refusing to work.

I think I’m being told to take some time off.

On a positive note my home is so clean I’d be ok with a complete stranger visiting. Still have some spaces in need of rescue but the main rooms are mostly spotless. Ever heard the phrase “Show me a clean house and I’ll show you a broken computer.”? I’m living the dream.

I’m throwing in the towel for the time being. We already had plans to purchase a brand new monster of a laptop with all the trimmings after the holidays so now I’m just biding my time. I am blogging right now only because I’ve hijacked my husband’s laptop which he has graciously been leaving at home for me but it’s been a bit like visiting a stranger’s house. I’m not completely comfortable on someone else’s machine. Plus I’ve really been enjoying the kids so most of the time I forget his computer is even here.

In the meantime, please feel free to forage about the site using the archives.

If you’re in need of immediate assistance, please visit Postpartum Support International. You can also pick up the phone and give their warmline a ring at 1.800.944.4PPD. And don’t forget they do have weekly support calls for both men and women. Men’s calls are on Mondays while Women’s calls are on Wednesdays. Details are at the website.

If you are thinking of Suicide, please visit SuicideHotlines.com for a pretty comprehensive list of Suicide Hotlines across the states.

Also, please visit Postpartum Progress for regular PPD posts and some great holiday survival tips.

You can also find online support at the Online PPD Support Page.

So while I won’t be back until after the holidays, I’m leaving you with plenty of support and well wishes. May you have a wonderful holiday and I look forward to jumping back in head first after the first of the year!

Just Talkin’ Tuesday 11.17.09: When did your fog lift?

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base photo credit "water droplet with fall reflection" by mahalie @ flickr

All the cliches you hear about not being happy are profoundly true. The grass is a dull shade of green – khaki almost, for me at least. The trees filled with sorrow, the birds didn’t chirp as cheerily, the leaves waved as if mourning, the air filled with the weight of the entire world as the clouds swooped down and swarmed around my mind, fogging my vision of anything in front of me. My grandfather called those infamous fogs “pea souppers.”

I remember the day my Pea Soupper existance finally lifted. It was a bright spring day. The trees stood ready to burst forth brand new leaves still wrapped tightly in buds, rain had rushed through – not drenched us but rather left just enough behind for everything to sparkle a bit. I can still smell the rain of that day if I close my eyes and think long enough. THIS is the day I want to hold close to my heart forever when I think of my PPD.

Sure, I remember the bad stuff. I remember the cold sleep room where I first checked out. I remember all too well the smell of the soap from the NICU. I remember the cold hard plastic and mechanical whirring of my breast pump, the flat pillow at the psych ward. But when I think of my PPD, I want to remember that spring day. The day that not only Mother Nature birthed yet another child of spring but I found myself reborn as a complete person – myself and motherhood all rolled into one – ready to take on the very world which waited at my feet. Had it still been raining I may have pulled over and danced a little jig.

So tell us – when did your fog lift?

Let’s get to just talkin’.

 

National Institute for Health Care Management Foundation – Webinar: Identifying and Treating Maternal Depression

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National Institute for Health Care Management Foundation – Webinar: Identifying and Treating Maternal Depression to take place on December 9, 2009 at 1:00pm -2:30pm EST. Registration is free. Please click on the previous link for information and to register for this event.

According to NIHCM’s website, “This webinar will explore the prevalence of maternal depression and the current state of screening for perinatal and postpartum depression. It will include a discussion of the recent recommendations from the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) and the American Psychiatric Association (APA) for the treatment of women with depression during pregnancy. The role of primary care providers in identifying and managing postpartum depression will also be discussed and a web-based training program to educate providers on screening, diagnosis, treatment and referral for postpartum depression will be shared. Finally, the session will highlight a current health plan program to identify and manage depression during pregnancy and coordinate care following a depression diagnosis to ensure healthy pregnancies and deliveries.”

Please pass this information on to anyone you may know that will benefit from this important webinar. I am planning on attending myself because the information to be discussed sounds absolutely fascinating. I am particularly interested in the discussion of the role of the primary are providers in identifying and managing postpartum depression as so many patients often first seek help from their primary caregivers rather than a specialist.

What a crazy week!

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Monday: middle child diagnosed with Bronchitis after an hour wait at pediatrician’s office. Come home, get her on bus, take youngest to get her medicine. Maybe an hour to myself in the middle of the day.

Tuesday: Husband diagnosed with bronchitis at ER after difficulty breathing. (Did not get to sleep until nearly 2am only to wake up at 545 to get daughter on bus in time!)

Wednesday: Recovery

Thursday: Oldest daughter’s cough gets worse.

Friday: Oldest daughter’s cough is much much worse, brought home early from an evening with grandparents.

Saturday: Urgent care with oldest. Diagnosis? Ear Infection and severe allergies.

Sunday: Catching up on the important stuff like email, blogging and trying to bake brownies in the waffle iron.

yeah. It’s been one of THOSE weeks.

Just Talkin’ Tuesday 10.27.09: What’s YOUR Postpartum Mood Disorder Story?

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women talking in sunset

Original Photo taken by tranchis @ flickr

This site was started to help me re-frame an unexpected pregnancy after two rather nasty experiences with Postpartum OCD. Turns out that by doing so I not only helped myself but managed to help a lot of other women along the way.

There was a point during my suffering when I dreaded having to retell my story. Looking back I should have just typed the whole thing up and kept copies on hand – kind of like a resume. (Hey – not a bad idea if you end up having to hunt for a decent doctor!) But there came a turning point where my story began to foster a sense of strength and self. Finally I began to bloom.

We’re all at different points on our journey. Some of us are right in the thick of it, some of us a bit further out, others are fully recovered, some have relapsed and are struggling right back out thanks to the path we carved out the last time we fell down. But we are all in it together.

Rather than retype my entire story here (cuz that would take some time!), you can click here to read about “The Day” I was admitted to psych ward. And if you’re brave enough (ie, preferably not in the thick of it or relapsed) you can read another piece I’ve written here about some of the thoughts I had when things were so dark I couldn’t even see my hand in front of my face.

For me and for many others, telling our story or even venting has become a powerful source of personal therapy. It’s a way to just get some of the stress out of our body, our mind, and even possibly work through issues.

So let’s get to just talkin’ here. I want to hear your stories. I want to know what you’ve gone through/are going through. Speak up. We’re here to be supportive, compassionate, and lend our hearts.

I can’t wait to read what you have to share!