Tag Archives: postpartum depression

Sharing the Journey with Bob Gibbs

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Bob Gibbs is the father of Jennifer Bankston, the woman for whom the foundation Jenny’s Light has been founded. Jennifer tragically took both her life and her infant’s life as a result of PPD. Her family was unaware of this horrible disease and did not see the warning signs. Bob, his wife Sandy, Jenny’s sister Becky, and numerous family and friends have put their heart and soul into Jenny’s Light to ensure others do not suffer in silence the same tragedy they have experienced. I applaud their efforts and numerous achievements to date. As more families and women speak up about our experience with PPD, the louder our voice becomes – forcing change around us, eroding the stigma, and empowering new mothers faced with these same challenges – giving them the courage to step up and get the help they DESERVE.

What factors surrounding Jenny’s experience led to the development of Jenny’s Light?

I think the main thing was that it seemed so senseless and we wanted to have some good come from it. We wanted to create a lasting legacy for Jenny and Graham.

For me, the more I work with women and their families, helping to educate and aid them in recovery, the stronger I become. Have you found this to be true with your work through Jenny’s Light?

Definitely! Sandy and I feel like this is our therapy. It is so gratifying to know other people appreciate what we’re doing.

What are some of the things Jenny’s Light has already achieved in such a short time?

We have distributed over 20,000 PPD info cards, mostly at Triathlons, had over 25,000 hits on our website representing 73 countries, received hundreds of testimonials from mom’s who saw our site and were moved to seek help, raised over $140,000 in just 9 months, and have formed a partnership with Allina Health Systems and Abbott hospital to develop a universal screening program within their system.

I am absolutely amazed at the level of fundraising already in place for Jenny’s Light. Has the outpouring of support for your organization surprised you as well?

At first we were overwhelmed, but the more responses we saw on our website, the more we realized that this was a problem that needed attention and the people that had been touched by it wanted to help.

What are some signs and symptoms parents and family members should watch for after a woman gives birth that may be indicative of an underlying emotional disorder?

There are many! Frequent crying or tearfulness, loss of interest or pleasure in life, difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much, feeling worthless, hopeless or guilty, showing little interest in your baby, to mention a few.

As is often mentioned to new mothers, taking time for oneself is important. What do you do to recharge yourself after a long day?

Sandy and I are both bike riders and outdoor nuts. We have a cabin in northern Wisconsin that is definitely our recharge zone.

In your opinion, what should all expectant mothers know about PPD before they give birth?

They should know the symptoms, be aware of the dangers, have a strong support system in place, and know they are not bad mothers if they don’t feel on top of the world.

What should health care providers do to improve their treatment and prevention of PPD?

This is the area where the most work is needed. No specialty really wants to take on more work in dealing with this problem. We are attacking it from the Mental Health angle. There needs to be screening, follow-up, and care provided to these mother if don’t want to see repeats of what happened to Jenny and Graham.

During this time in your life, what has given you strength to go on after losing Jenny and Graham?

Jenny was a very special person. She was loved by so many people, Sandy and I have a hard time comprehending it sometimes. We feel that continuing her legacy of caring is important for us and all the people that she touched.

Last but not least, do you have any advice for other parents who have a new or expectant mother in their lives?

Parents, spouses, friends, all need to know about the signs of PPD’s . One of the most sinister things about PPD is that mothers are often hesitant to ask for help, fearing they will be looked upon as unfit mothers.

Mondays with Pec Part II

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Today we finish up last week’s post with Pec by looking at signs and symptoms of various mental health conditions that can occur during the postpartum period. As always, discuss any concerns you may have with your caregiver.

How do I know if I have postpartum depression or anxiety?

Symptoms can vary from woman to woman. Here are some of the most common symptoms:

  • Sadness (sometimes comes in waves-women feel “up and down”)
  • Guilt (often women feel like they aren’t good moms, “maybe I just wasn’t cut out to be a mom”)
  • Irritable, less patient than normal (women often say they are snapping at their partners, or not enjoying their older child/children the way they did before)
  • Sleep problems (often hard to fall and/or stay asleep at night)
  • Appetite changes (may eat more or less than usual), often rapid weight loss
  • Lack of feelings toward baby (“I can bathe her and feed her, but I don’t really feel what I thought I’d feel towards her)
  • Worrying about every little thing (“it feels like my mind won’t shut off”)
  • Lack of fun or pleasure (I often hear things like, “I used to sing in the shower or with the car radio…. I’m not singing anymore”).
  • Overwhelm (“I just can’t cope”)
  • Lack of focus and concentration and difficulty making decisions

Postpartum Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

About 3-5% of new moms get postpartum Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Women who have a history of OCD or a family history of OCD are at a higher risk. I find that in my practice women who describe themselves as “worriers” or “anal” (have a high need for order and things being “just right”) are at a higher risk.

The word obsessive refers to repetitive thoughts. Compulsions refer to the behaviors people do to avoid or minimize the anxiety produced by the obsessive thought. In the movie As Good As It Gets, Jack Nicholson portrayed a character with severe OCD.

Postpartum, some women get obsessive worry, often about things happening to the baby. Sometimes women get frightening thoughts or even mental pictures of something bad happening to the baby; often the pictures may be about the mom herself hurting the baby. These pictures can seem vivid and horrifying. Unlike women with psychosis, who are not in touch with reality, these women are painfully in touch with reality. These women know they do not want to hurt their babies, and we call these thoughts “ego alien”. Women with postpartum OCD are horrified, “how could I have these thoughts? I love my baby. I would never hurt her. I feel like a monster”.

These thoughts may just pop into her mind- we call them intrusive, and they are repetitive. Sometimes women have behaviors or compulsions that help them feel safer. These are may include things like hiding the kitchen knives or avoiding being alone with the baby.

Postpartum Panic Disorder

About 10% of new moms experience panic disorder. Some of these women have had panic before, sometimes even in pregnancy.

Symptoms of Postpartum Panic include episodes of extreme anxiety or worry, rapid heartbeat, tight chest or shortness of breath, choking feelings, dizziness, restlessness, and irritability. Panic attacks can happen without any specific triggers, even in the middle of the night. Women often feel a sense of doom or that they are going to die. They worry about when the next attack will happen.

Postpartum Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Posttraumatic Stress Disorder can occur after birth. PTSD is seen in about 1-6% of women. Symptoms of PTSD include recurrent nightmares, extreme anxiety, reliving past traumas, avoidance of reminders of the trauma (for example, the hospital). Women with Postpartum PTSD often feel that they were abandoned, not well cared for, and stripped of their dignity during the birth. Another common feeling is that their voices were not heard and that there was poor communication during the labor and/or delivery. Some women with Postpartum PTSD state their trust was betrayed; they felt a sense of powerlessness and lack of protection by their caregivers.

Postpartum Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder is often incorrectly diagnosed as depression. It is not uncommon for people with bipolar disorder to suffer over 10 years with an incorrect diagnosis, and therefore, inadequate treatment. Women taking medication for bipolar disorder are often told to stop medication before getting pregnant. Some, but not all, medications used for bipolar treatment can cause birth defects. Unfortunately, up to 80% of women who stop medication become ill during the pregnancy. Postpartum, bipolar disorder puts women at risk for a manic or psychotic episode. Women with bipolar disorder need to be working very closely with a psychiatrist trained in reproductive mental health.

Symptoms of postpartum bipolar episode can include

a decreased need for sleep and severe and rapid mood swings. Often there is a family history of bipolar disorder.

Postpartum Psychosis

Postpartum psychosis is considered a medical or psychiatric emergency. There is an increased risk of a woman hurting her self or her infant or children.

Symptoms of postpartum psychosis can include:

  • Difficulty relaxing
  • Incoherence
  • Decreased appetite
  • Paranoia and confusion
  • Hearing or seeing things others do not (hallucinations)
  • Inability to differentiate reality from hallucinations
  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Delusional thinking (lack of touch with reality)
  • Manic behavior (hyperactivity, impulsive behavior)

These symptoms come and go (she may be fine one minute, and acting strangely the next).

All of these postpartum mood disorders can be treated. If a mom is not well, the family is not well. We now know that untreated maternal illness can cause long term consequences for the infant, as well as other children in the home. Postpartum mood disorders also contribute to marital/relationship stress and discord.

Unfortunately, these postpartum mood disorders do not always go away by themselves without treatment.

You are not alone.

You are not to blame

You will be well again.

Seek treatment from someone trained specifically in postpartum depression and postpartum mood disorders. To learn how to screen a potential therapist, go to http://www.pecindman.com.

Important resources:

http://www.MedEdPPD.org (a very informative website)

http://www.postpartum.net Postpartum Support International 1.800.944.4PPD

Beyond the Blues, A Guide to Understanding and Treating Prenatal and Postpartum Depression (2006) by Bennett and Indman

Sharing the Journey with Pec Indman

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Pec is one of the warmest people I have had the pleasure of emailing. Ever. She has been super supportive of all that I do and for me it’s amazing that in just four years, I’ve gone from an unsupportive OB to being able to email an expert like Pec and get a response in mere seconds. What a road! Pec is whole-heartedly dedicated to women and families struggling with Postpartum Mood Disorders and like me, I know she’ll never stop doing what she’s doing. Keep up the amazing work and thank you for sharing a bit of yourself with us!

Would you share a little bit about yourself with us?

I grew up in a very loving family. My parents were active in political movements that supported causes including civil rights and the women’s movement. I became a family practice trained Physician Assistant in the 70’s, and worked in Family Practice and women’s health. After deciding to go back to school, I completed a Master’s in Health Psychology, and then a Doctorate in Counseling. I had Megan, my first daughter just after I completed my doctoral coursework. Emily was born almost six years later, after treatment for fertility problems and a miscarriage.

How did you become focused on Postpartum Mood Disorders? What drew you in to the subject?

About 12 years ago, I was in an OB/GYN waiting room and happened to see a flier by Postpartum Support International (PSI) about Postpartum Depression. I realized that although I had years of training and experience in women’s health and mental health, and had delivered two children, I had been taught nothing about mood disorders related to childbearing. I was horrified and angry. I am still outraged that my Master’s program in Health Psychology never covered anything related to specific issues related to women’s reproductive mental health (for example, PMS, perinatal, or perimenopause/menopause). So, I joined PSI, read everything I could, and went to trainings and conferences. I began teaching for PSI and co-authored a book, Beyond the Blues, A Guide to Understanding and Treating Prenatal and Postpartum Depression. We’ve updated it several times to reflect the latest information and research, and are proud to have it in Spanish, as well. I’ve been honored to be invited to participate and contribute in the creation of several federally funded projects on perinatal mood disorders. I feel very honored to do this work. It’s the most rewarding work I’ve done. It’s also the most fun; I work with nice moms, sometimes they bring their babies, and everyone gets better! What could be more fun?

I know different approaches work for different people. What have you found to be the most successful in your practice with Postpartum Women?

My clients describe me as “warm and fuzzy.” I like to think my office is a comfortable place where women and families can feel safe and free from judgments. One of the things I find that women and families thirst for is information. So often I hear, “why didn’t anyone tell me I was at risk?” I practice a model of therapy called cognitive-behavioral therapy. It is a very practical model that helps people learn how depression and anxiety distort thinking and teaches people how to think differently. My clients really appreciate the practical skills and tools.

As a mom, what have you found to be the most energizing about motherhood? The most challenging?

I feel enormous pride when I watch my girls achieve something they have worked hard to accomplish. The most difficult thing has been standing by while they have experienced life challenges, knowing I can’t take away the disappointment and pain.

What are some of the biggest challenges you have faced in balancing motherhood and work?

I think the idea of “work/life balance” is an impossible goal that sets women up for feeling not good enough. I see it as a juggling act. Sometimes one ball is on the floor-it might be the laundry or the dishes. Or, sometimes a kid gets sick or there is a client emergency. There is no “balance”. I think the key is to be flexible and have clear priorities. Laundry and dishes will always wait for you. I am extremely lucky in that I can arrange my work schedule around my “chauffeur” mom job.

We often encourage mothers to remember to take time for themselves. What is it that YOU do to recharge your batteries?

I am an avid scuba diver and tropical fish lover. My whole family dives, and we just had a delightful family vacation in Cozumel, Mexico. I enjoy taking underwater photos, and my husband takes underwater video. So, when I can’t be with the fish, I can still enjoy their beauty and the magnificent underwater world.

Postpartum Mood Disorder recognition and acceptance has come a LONG way but we still have miles to go. What do you see as some of the hurdles we still have to cross?

We have come a long way, but we have a lot more work to do. Ideally, all women should be informed about risk factors for perinatal mood disorders, before getting pregnant or at a diagnosis of pregnancy. Women should be screened for mood problems during pregnancy and throughout the first year. In order to do this, health care providers need have a better understanding of perinatal disorders and why it so important to take them seriously. And we need to train providers to treat women and families suffering. I am appalled that the most common complication of childbearing is still so misunderstood and poorly treated. I think we need to dispel the myths that still surround perinatal mood disorders. We need to educate women and families about the problem and to be good consumers in seeking treatment. We need to train health care providers to ask the questions and screen, and we need a trained therapist on every street corner.

I believe one of the biggest keys to positive recovery for women is full family involvement -i.e., a supportive and educated husband/partner and family. Of course, education prior to an episode is wonderful but how can we best aid in this process when the family is in the midst of a Postpartum Mood Disorder Crisis?

I agree that family involvement is critical. Whenever possible it is important to include the family in the process of treatment. Often the family is confused and unsure what to say or how to be supportive. Treatment should include family whenever possible.

What makes you smile?

Hanging out with my family, being in a clear turquoise tropical ocean (I did have to learn not to smile at the fish, because it would cause my face mask to leak!), and hearing a mom say “I got my self back”.

And last but not least, if you had a chance to give just one piece of advice to an expectant mother (new or experienced), what would you say?

I have a few words of wisdom:hug and kiss your kids as often as possible, notice the positive, and remember to be emotionally flexible. Know what is developmentally appropriate for your child and have realistic expectations of them. Lastly, if it’s not a health or safety issue, be able to let it go…… somethings aren’t important to make a big issue over.

Mondays with Pec (Part I)

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Pec Indman, EdD, MFT, has been gracious and submitted a wonderful piece from Beyond the Blues, a book she co-authored with Shoshana Bennett. I’ve decided to post in sections. This week, we’ll read about what Postpartum Depression is and who can get Postpartum Depression. Next Week, we’ll be looking at how to identify whether or not you have PPD or PP Anxiety. As always, please discuss any concerns you may have with your physician!

WHAT IS POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION?

What is Postpartum Depression?

Often the term Postpartum Depression (or PPD) is used to describe mood and anxiety disorders that occur within the first year after a baby is born. There are five postpartum mood/anxiety disorders. Postpartum Depression is the most common.

The Baby Blues occurs in up to 80% of new moms. This is a normal response to the hormonal changes, the sleep depravation and adjustments that occur immediately after birth. We don’t consider the blues a mood disorder. The Blues usually begins around day 3 postpartum, and should be gone within 2-3 weeks. With the blues, mood is up and down, and women sometimes find themselves bursting into tears for no reason. But, overall, there is a positive outlook. It differs from postpartum depression in timing (only occurs in the first three weeks) and severity (it’s mild and goes away without treatment).

We believe postpartum depression occurs in between 15% to 20% of all new moms. That’s up to 1 in 5 mothers! Many of us have a stereotype of a depressed person being curled up in a ball with the blanket pulled up over her head, crying. That’s not really how it looks for most women with Postpartum Depression. What new mom has the time to hide in bed? Some call it Postpartum Depression/Anxiety because many women experience both depression and anxiety.

Who gets Postpartum Depression?

Women who have a history (or family history) of depression or anxiety, a previous postpartum depression, depression during pregnancy, a history of abuse, marital/relationship problems, teenage moms, social isolation, or a sick baby are all at an increased risk of postpartum depression. Women who have severe mood changes before their periods or while taking the birth control pill are also at an increased risk of postpartum depression.

Postpartum depression can begin at the birth of the baby, or can occur at any time within the first year. Sometimes sudden weaning or a first menstrual period can trigger the onset.

Sharing the Journey with Alison

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Alison has been a regular reader here at Sharing the Journey for quite some time. Over the past few weeks we’ve really gotten to chatting off blog and I asked her to share her story with you. A mother of two who bucked the odds with her second child (quite unexpected) and also faced high risks during the same pregnancy, she is now working on a counseling degree in order to help other women struggling with PPD. Her story is an inspiration and I am honored to share it with you here. (By the way, if you like what she has to say and want to keep up with her, Alison has her own blog, Mountain Mama)

Would you share your PPD Story?

I’m not completely sure where it starts. I guess there’s a chance I could have had mild PPD with my son, our first child, in 2005 but I’m not really sure. I went back to work pretty quickly and I was surrounded by family and friends when our son was born. We were living with my parents waiting for our house to be done and we had visitors probably every weekend and sometimes during the week, as well. I remember having a few break downs but other than that it was nothing like when our daughter was born.

I think I was depressed even before we conceived our daughter and found out about being pregnant. I was dealing with major medical issues and we had been told that we were infertile, most likely not able to have more kids any time soon. I began radiation and after the first dose, and a number of negative pregnancy tests- including a blood test, we found out we were expecting. That set off an extremely high risk pregnancy as well as a premature birth. I was in doctor’s office’s at least once a week and I was on high doses of medication. We found out about halfway through the pregnancy that the medication I was taking was slowly strangling the baby. I was taken off my medication and within two weeks put on strict bed rest- with a two year old at home.

Our daughter was born about 5.5 weeks early and was pretty perfect! My time in the hospital was ok. My mom spent time with me when she wasn’t watching our son and our neighbors stopped by. That was the extent of our visitors and I think that’s where the real part of depression started to kick in. Plus, I still had my medical condition to deal with and all of the hormones. I felt like there should have been more attention paid, by my family and friends, to the fact that really we had just given birth to a miracle baby. That really upset me.
As the weeks went by I became more and more sad and reluctant to do anything. I was just completely out of it. It was easier to let my son watch TV all day and lay on the couch than it was actually get up and do anything. I remember one night being at my parents’ house and my father and uncle were arguing on the phone about care for my grandfather, who was sick. My father said something to my uncle to effect of, “Well, do you want to put him in handcuffs and drag him to a nursing home?!?”

And I lost it. The argument upset me but all of a sudden everything was just so overwhelming. I had two kids. I was living in a place that was away from everyone and everything I loved. And I felt very alone.

My husband was wonderful. We were not nursing and he would get up with the baby and feed her. He was great with our son. He was doing all that he could to support me but he was lost, too. My parents were unbelievably helpful, especially my mom. I had the support it was just hard. I knew in that moment, sitting on the floor of my parents’ living room crying as I put my newborn in her car seat, that something was very wrong.

I was seeing my doctor for a four week check up and I decided to talk with her about it. We talked about my depression and the crying and sadness and feeling overwhelmed. We talked about PPD and the likelihood that I was experiencing it full on and then she recommended talk therapy and prescribed and anti-depressant for me. I was apprehensive about the medication but filled the script anyway. I began therapy and my therapist came to the same diagnosis, PPD. I found that I was more comfortable in therapy without the medication than with it. I talked with my doctor again and I tapered off the meds and continued in therapy. I terminated therapy due to insurance problems but I had accomplished a great deal while there. I learned coping mechanisms. I talked out many of my issues and I was able to lay a lot of it on the table! I still have my days where I’m depressed and get down and just don’t want to do anything or be with anyone but it is nothing as it was before. I worry about the idea of having another baby and being confronted with the PPD again but I know, and my family knows, how to recognize it and help me through it.

How has experiencing PPD changed your life?

Immensely. There is so much that I never realized about PPD before this experience. I never realized how much it can affect the lives of everyone around you, not just the individual. I never realized how debilitating it can be. I never realized how absolutely scary it can be!

As a result of my PPD and getting help for it I’ve decided that I want to dedicate my career, my counseling career, to working with women and families who are dealing with PPD as well as pregnancy, fertility and other postpartum issues.

Having lived with the disease I have learned how to recognize it and help others. I have learned how to be more compassionate and understanding. And I have learned how cope with it and get through it and come out stronger.

What effect did your PPD have on your husband? How did he handle things?

I think it scared my husband. He didn’t know how to handle it. Once I began getting help for it I think he felt as if a weight had been taken off his shoulders. He saw me suffering and dealing with these emotions and had no idea how to deal with them or his own. I think it was hard to see it especially during a time when I should have been ecstatic to have a new baby.I saw the full effect of the entire experience on him months later. He came home from work and shared a story with me about one of his co-workers. This co-worker and his wife had just had a little girl about two months earlier and his wife was having a really hard time. Her emotions were all over board and she would go from happy high times to very low, angry, depressed, jealous times. My husband happened to witness a phone call between his co worker and his wife where this man became really angry and ended up hanging up on his wife. My husband stepped in and asked if he was OK, did he want to talk, etc. His co worker went on to talk about how since the baby had come his wife was “crazy”. She was either crying or angry all the time, jealous of silly things, and really just unhappy and unmotivated. Pat, my husband, asked if she had talked to a doctor or anything like that since the baby was born because it sounded very much like the beginnings of what we had been through after our daughter. Pat talked to his co worker about recognizing that it’s really hard on his wife when she’s home all day with the baby and dealing with recovering and healing and getting hormones “and crap” in check and he’s at work. Pat later found out that his co worker’s wife had decided to start seeing a therapist and they were talking a lot more. She had needed someone to talk with about her feelings after the baby was born. I really saw that Pat had understood everything that had happened at that point when he reached out to help a friend who was in the same place that he had one been.

What is your favorite thing about being a mother?

It has to be the smiles and the laughs. When my kids smile at me and laugh, it makes everything else take a back seat. Knowing that those smiles and laughter came from love and from my husband and I is just so special. Watching them experience things that create smiles and laughter is incredible, too. Every single day they discover something new and exciting and every day there is more to find joy in. I think that is just so special.

What do you find most challenging in motherhood?

Everything…can I use that as my answer? I don’t think, for me, it’s balancing work and kids and family and school. I think it’s the constancy of it all. It never stops. I never get to not be mom. Yeah, I can go out to dinner or a movie with Pat or with friends. Yes, I can hire a babysitter and do something. But there never comes a point where I will not be mom. I have other roles and other parts to my identity but I am always mom. I’m not saying I’m unhappy about that but I think that sometimes the enormity of always being mom can be a lot. It’s wonderful. But sometimes I just want my kids to forget the word mommy for 5 minutes.

Taking time for ourselves is one of the most invaluable gifts. What do you do with time you have to yourself?

Time for myself is a precious commodity. Lately, I’ve been much more conscious of taking serious time for myself where I don’t do work or classwork but try and do something that I actually enjoy. I try to exercise. I’ll go to the movies by myself, which is not nearly as bad as I thought it would be! I’ll go and see friends that I normally would have to take the kids with me to see. I’ll go for a walk. Or really I’ll just go to the supermarket or Target and wander around. Just getting out of the house or even on another floor separate from the kids gives me the time I need.

Based on your experience with PPD, do you have any suggestions for improvements to the way things were handled with your case? In your opinion, should anything have been done differently?
Oh YES! I live in NJ and while I think we have made great strides to help those suffering with PPD we are no where even close to getting it right!! I was given a questionnaire within 24 hours of giving birth that was supposed to evaluate my depression. It was a joke!! Things like that should be handed out at the baby’s weight check or at an OB visit or even mailed to the patient. My hospital had no problem sending me a survey about their care performance, they should be able to send out one about depression and PPD. I wish that someone had come to talk with me in the hospital. I’m talking about a professional counselor. I understand that PPD symptoms don’t really show up for at least one to two weeks, if at all, but I feel like if I had been educated about it I would have felt more comfortable with it. Even to hand out fliers or a fact sheet. Just something to let me know the warning signs. Something I could give to my parents and husband to let them know what to look for. I just think there needs to be more education and awareness to rid our society of the stigma and also to help women and families understand that they are not alone and it’s OK to ask for help!

Do you feel that because of your experience those around you are now more educated regarding PPD? Any plans to help other women in need in the future?

Yes, absolutely. See the second answer for more details on my plans!:)

Here’s a chance for a shameless plug. Tell us all about your blog!

My blog is not so much about PPD but about me being a mom and all that comes along with it! It’s www.mommountain.blogspot.com and it’s really a chronicle of my life with two kids, working full time and getting my counseling degree. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s sad, sometimes it makes you think and sometimes it’s me just venting. It has been a great outlet for my thoughts and feelings and has really helped me to express myself in ways that I never thought I could. It was a great piece of my therapy that has definitely helped me continue to get better.

If you had a chance to give an expecting mom (new or experienced) one piece of advice, what would it be and why?

Questions like this are so hard for me. I’m not sure. I guess it would be to do your very best to see the positive and the light in the situation. Ask for help and when it’s offered, and you’re comfortable with it, take it. We do not have to be supermoms. Motherhood is not about doing it alone and making it happen on our own. It was more than just us making us mothers and now we need to realize that getting support from those around us is still just as important and necessary.