Category Archives: Perinatal Mood Disorders

DAY THREE (via LIVING The Self-Care Challenge, Oct. 6-26, 2010)

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I am horrible at organization, often citing motherhood as an excuse. Making a To-do list is on my to-do list of things I need to do. And yes, that makes my head hurt too.

At the end of a long day, the last thing I want to think about is what I need to get done the following day. All I want to do is melt into my couch and become one with it as the TV blares my favorite shows.

Lately I have been struggling with feeling as if I’ve accomplished anything in a single day as most days I am lucky if I have managed to complete a single thought without interruption from one of my children, the dogs, or my husband. As mothers we are so very often pulled in every direction and do not stop to give ourselves time we need.

In addition to today’s challenge, I am throwing my own out there. One of the things I want you to be able to put on your “Did do” list tonight is ‘took time for myself.’ It does not matter what you do – it could be a cup of coffee, tea, reading a book, staring at nature, short 5 minute nap at your desk or while your child naps, a walk… something, anything. But today? Be SURE to put ‘time for ME’ on your Did do list. Then share your Did do list over at the Living Self-Care Challenge page. Let’s get stuff done AND take care of ourselves today!

I know I will!

DAY THREE WOW, you’re back! Hurray for you—you’re three days into the 21 day self-care challenge. If you are like most women, you have an endless “to do” list.  Also like most women, you probably climb into bed at day’s end bemoaning everything that’s still on the list. Most of us don’t make lists that are easily completed in one day. Life—upset tummies, tantrums, last-minute but forgotten projects–just gets in the way! [caption id="attachment_132" align= … Read More

via LIVING The Self-Care Challenge, Oct. 6-26, 2010

DAY TWO (via LIVING The Self-Care Challenge, Oct. 6-26, 2010)

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It’s Day Two of Living the Self-Care Challenge.

How are you doing with the Challenge?

Yesterday did not go so well with me to be honest. The day got away from me and I did not do the activity.

But today, I woke up, determined to take back some time for myself. I helped the girls get ready for school and once my husband left to take them to school, I turned on the Wii to do my 23 minutes of daily Yoga.

I like the awareness Yoga brings to my life even though a recent statement from Southern Baptist Leader Albert Mohler claims that Yoga is not Christian through objecting to the belief that “the body is a vehicle for reaching consciousness with the divine.”

As a Christian and a member of a Southern Baptist Church, I take issue with Dr. Mohler’s belief. When I practice Yoga, I take a Christian based approach. My movements may be based in Yoga but what is going on in my head is not. I take the time to pray and focus on my relationship with God. When one is sitting still and reading the Bible or praying, is one not using his/her body and mind to connect with God? I rest my case.

Digression aside, breathing is a huge part of relaxation. The practice of deep breathing, as suggested by today’s Tip in the Self-Care Challenge, forces you to step out of a stressful situation and focus on YOU. The more balanced and in focus you are, the more balanced and focused your life and those around you are in return. We’re all together in this life – so let’s make it a good one by taking care of ourselves first and others second.

DAY TWO Welcome back to the 21 day self-care challenge! Stress affects mood, worry and health—every day. The “fight or flight” response triggers up to fifty times daily. The release of cortisol and epinephrine into the bloodstream in response to internal or external threat leads to physical illness including heart disease, high blood pressure and diabetes—as well as feeling overwhelmed. To combat this constant flood of stress hormones, your breath is a b … Read More

via LIVING The Self-Care Challenge, Oct. 6-26, 2010

Is PPD a series of mini-episodes or thoughts vs. something major: A reader makes an important point

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Yesterday, I posted this piece regarding a DM I received at Twitter. Tonight I received this response which includes some excellent points. I wanted it to have more than just an afternoon meandering about. So here it is- in all it’s bloggy goodness. Thanks for commenting!

I so much appreciate your honesty here, Lauren. And, of course, am always so glad to know that you are out there sharing your important journey with other moms who are struggling or who have struggled.

I am going to make a point that, please know, comes with a huge amount of respect. It is more of an observation and a request to look at this question with another perspective than anything else.

The title to this post is “Is PPD a series of mini-episodes or thoughts vs. something major?”- I imagine that the woman who wrote this might be wondering if she could possibly have PPD- because for her, this is characterized by a series of on again off again thoughts or feelings that come and go and come back again, You know the situation I am sure: mom feels awful and confused by her thoughts and then for a day or two feels better. So she doesn’t reach out And then, again, WHAM, she feels awful again.. for a few days, and so she thinks she will seek out help. But then, ahhh.. a few days of feeling much better so, again, she holds back. And on and on. This mom thinks she must not have PPD because hers is not a knock-down -lights out situation. And so it takes her months and months to get the help that she actually needs.
I see this over and over in my psychotherapy practice when moms come in, finally and exhausted, at about 8 months postpartum when they have been feeling this way for a longer time than they needed to.

I appreciate your last few paragraphs about how everyone’s experience is unique, and so I think this is what I am trying to highlight in my comments. PPMDs come in all shapes and sizes and on a spectrum from mild to severe.
Your last paragraph is a set of questions to moms out there and it reads “is your PPMD JUST a series of thoughts?”

I would ask that we all make sure that we acknowledge that no PPMD is a “just” anything… No matter what someone’s challenge is, it can be pretty darn ugly for them.

with respect and admiration,
Kate Kripke, LCSW

Dear Kate,

Thank you so very much for commenting and bringing to light such invaluable points regarding Postpartum Mood Disorders. They are indeed unique to each woman. It is true that just because a woman hasn’t been knocked flat off her feet she can’t struggle with a PMD. Just as clothes, PMD’s really do come in all shapes and sizes and they come in every season too – no mom deserves to have her experience with Postpartum Mood Disorders dismissed as you’re completely right – no one deserves to have their experience termed as “just” something. The word “just” is dismissive for me.

I chose to blog about this question because it legitimately intrigues me. The writer was asking a question about PMD’s in a way I had never considered them before. Honestly, I think it was the word “just” that drew me in to the question at hand. No mother should ever have to decide if her experience is “just” this or “just” that. It IS what it IS and that is what she will heal from as the days go on and the sun continues to rise on the new days ahead for her. No mother should ever have to worry about someone pointing the finger at her and telling her that it’s “just” a series of thoughts or “just” a series of episodes. And even if it is thoughts or episodes for her – they should ALWAYS be considered and handled as if they were a serious knock-down case of PMD’s. Each and every mother deserves our support regardless of where she may be on the “spectrum.” In fact, regardless of where she is on the spectrum, our compassion for her should remain in the same place. High.

Thank you again for your comment and for taking the time to point out some very invaluable information.

Warmest,

Lauren Hale


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Living the Self-Care Challenge: Day 1 – Breathe

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As I’ve shared recently, life has been coming at me fast and furious with no relief in sight.

Suddenly, on the horizon, there was this challenge.

It came from Drs. Diane Sanford and Ann Dunnewold, authors of Life Will Never Be the Same: The Real Mom’s Postpartum Survival Guide.

Finally! Relief!

Today, October 6th, marks the beginning of this challenge. It couldn’t be starting on a better day. It’s only Tuesday evening and already I have had a heck of a week. Tomorrow? More of the same.

But tomorrow I start to take back time for me.

Motherhood does not always equal throwing oneself under the bus. It should not equal throwing oneself under the bus. If spending every moment of the day with your children works for you, great. It doesn’t work for me. I love my kids immensely. But I value my alone time as well. I believe  taking time for myself teaches my children a valuable lesson. It sets an example that YOU are worthy of care and mothering too.

Today’s entire first challenge can be found at the Living the Self-Care Challenge blog.

You can read the challenge in under two minutes and execute it in under 15. So today, I challenge you to do this when you can. Do it in the pick up line at your kids school, once you get home after dropping them off, in the bathroom at work, on the elevator, wherever you can grab a spare 15 minutes.

I’m so excited about this challenge and hope many of you will take it with me!

PS. I’ll be putting up a separate page for this challenge. All of the posts will be listed there, organized into weeks.

Is Postpartum Depression a series of mini-episodes or thoughts vs. something major?

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Tonight, before I broke Twitter and received a 503 error message, I received the above question in my Direct Message inbox.

It caught me off guard.

140 characters did not provide nearly enough space in which to respond.

Why she felt she had to DM the question also caught me off guard. Why not just ask in public? It’s not an intensely private question and certainly not one (obviously) I mind answering in public.

A series of mini-episodes or thoughts – hrm.

Let’s see.

My first brush with Postpartum involved OCD, which yes, involves thoughts. Rushing thoughts that liked to run through my head like crazy streakers intent on tackling me to the pavement. I had to either duck or face plant the cement. (FYI, Cement? Tastes like rubber glue. Also makes really dangerous shoes, I hear.)

That OCD fed into depression during pregnancy. THAT was fun. But it didn’t involve those fun face-planting thoughts. Just day after day of darkness with the weight of a blue whale latched to my ankle that I couldn’t shake. Darkness that kept me from eating, playing with my toddler, interacting with my husband, participating in life. Darkness which overtook my life faster than I could outrun it. Darkness that swallowed me whole with a vengeance.

Then my daughter was born with a birth defect. The face-planters returned with a vengeance and brought their friends, P,T, S, and D. Together, they hooked up with Party City and threw one helluva party in my head. I got lost in the fog. Very, very, very lost.

If I could have escaped the darkness, the fog, the insanity, by just changing my next “series” of thoughts, I would have done so in a heartbeat. If that’s the way it really is, then someone should have clued me in a long time ago. Someone should clue in all those suffering moms out there right now. Or give the moms to come a heads up. Hey – if you just DECIDE to be happy with your next thought, guess what? YOU WILL BE!

There’s power in positive thinking. While there may be, it certainly isn’t a quick fix. It takes time to heal from Postpartum Mood Disorders or any mental illness for that matter. Some may never heal as the root of their illness may be biological or something they have to live with for the rest of their lives. There is recovering and there is coping. I coped while I journeyed toward recovery. But I most certainly did not jump from mini-episode to mini-episode or from thought to thought (okay, so maybe the thought thing but underneath the thoughts there was a deeper issue at hand causing those thoughts to emerge from the depths of hell and torment me.)

I believe for some Postpartum Mood Disorders are a major event in life, one which forever alters the course of any life left to live. My own brushes with PMD’s have been a very important part of who I am today. As I journeyed on the road to recovery, (by the way, someone should really repave that road. The bumps? Atrocious!) I held on to life with every fiber of my being. It took everything I had most days NOT to drive my car into on-coming traffic. I did not – (obviously) because I had kids to care for  – kids who love me, trust me, and look forward to spending time with me each and every day.  But to be honest, there were days way back when where my kids? Weren’t really a reason to stick around. To be that far gone is scary. To not care if you see your kids grow up – to not have them as a reason to stick around – wow. (These days I am madly in love with my kids and wouldn’t dare think about leaving them in forever terms on purpose!)

Ultimately though, life IS a series of thoughts. Sometimes these thoughts get stuck in the lows. Some days, they get stuck in the clouds. And sometimes? There’s a traffic jam. And that’s an event. Sure, sometimes a traffic jam clears up on it’s own. But other times? Other times we need professional help to get it all cleared up. We don’t hesitate to accept the help of professionals to clear up the traffic, right? So why would we hesitate to accept the help of professionals when our brain has a traffic jam? Doesn’t make sense, does it?

Bottom line though – it’s your Postpartum Mood Disorder to define as it fits you, your lifestyle, your perception. You may feel that your PMD is a series of mini-episodes or thoughts. It ultimately doesn’t matter how anyone else defines Postpartum Mood Disorders as we all bring our own stories and baggage to the plate.

What are your thoughts? ARE Postpartum Mood Disorders just a series of events or thoughts? Or are they something major? What was it for you?

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