Category Archives: Perinatal Mood Disorders

New Saturday feature to answer Reader Questions

Tomorrow I will roll out a new feature here at My Postpartum Voice. During the course of the week, you can submit your questions about Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorders. They can be personal, research, general, what do I do now, etc. Anyone can submit – family, friends, survivors, surviving, dads, grandmothers, co-workers, etc. Ask away.

Every Saturday I will answer five questions submitted by readers.

You can submit here via comments, catch me on Twitter by sending a message to @unxpctdblessing, email me at mypostpartumvoice(@)gmail.com with Saturday Q&A as the subject line. You can also submit questions at the MPV Facebook page.

I can’t wait to hear from you and look forward to answering your questions!

An Exercise Program Selling Point: Not losing baby weight leads to Postpartum Depression

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I happened across a website for a Mom and Baby fitness routine yesterday. As I scrolled down the page, I got angry. And then I got pissed off.

Here’s one of their selling points from about 2/3 of the way down the page:

If you need help getting back in shape after baby, if you have postpartum depresssion, if you need creative ways to bond with baby, if you need to lose the baby weight —

Okay, so yes, exercise helps with Postpartum Depression. In fact, some studies have proven that exercise has an almost anti-depressant effect.

But do you need THEIR product to achieve that effect? No. All you need is yourself, some clothes, decent shoes, and somewhere to walk or run. Bam.

What got me really pissed off was the sidebar section. I took a screen-shot of the most offensive section to share with you. I have blacked out the company’s name as I sure as hell am not advertising for them. You also will not find a link to them here either.

Clearly, these folks know something about Postpartum Mood Disorders I have never heard:

“Gaining pregnancy weight and struggling to get back in shape after birth can lead to post pardum depression and difficulties bonding with baby.”

First of all, you are SUPPOSED to gain weight during pregnancy. Here’s a breakdown of weight gain expectations as found at the March of Dimes website:

If you began pregnancy at a healthy weight
You should gain 25–35 pounds over the nine months. Assuming you gain between 1 and about 4 ½ pounds in the first trimester, you should put on about one pound every week in the second and third trimesters

If you began pregnancy underweight
You should probably gain a little more than women who are at a healthy weight. That’s because underweight women are more likely to have small babies. A 28- to 40-pound gain is usually best. Assuming you gain between 1 and about 4 ½ pounds in the first trimester, try to gain slightly over a pound a week in the second and third trimesters.

If you began pregnancy overweight
You should gain only 15–25 pounds over the nine months. Assuming you gain between 1 and about 4 ½ pounds in the first trimester, you should put on slightly over ½ pound every week in the second and third trimesters. While you don’t want to gain too much weight, you should never try to lose weight during pregnancy because that could harm your baby.

If you were obese at the start of your pregnancy
You should gain only 11–20 pounds over the nine months. Assuming you gain between 1 and about 4 ½ pounds in the first trimester, aim for gaining slightly under ½ pound every week in the second and third trimesters.

If you’re expecting twins
You should probably gain between 37-54 pounds over the nine months if you began pregnancy at a healthy weight. If you began pregnancy overweight, aim for gaining a total of 31-50 pounds. If you were obese at the start of your pregnancy, you should gain between 25-42 pounds over the nine months. (That means gaining about 1 ½ pounds a week in the last two trimesters.

Another important thing to note here is that if you have a history of eating disorders, you are at a higher risk for developing a Postpartum Mood Disorder.

It’s also important to know that Thyroid issues may also be at the heart of abnormal weight loss or weight gain.

That population is exactly who this spam page is targeting. Get thin. Be happy. Avoid Postpartum Depression. Stay perfect.

Want to know something interesting?

This company has a spammy blog to go along with their website. Postpartum Depression is nowhere to be found when a quick search was done for the term at their blog.

For this company, Postpartum Depression is merely an SEO term they tossed onto their page in order to garner more hits and target an entire at-risk population.

Companies like this make me absolutely sick.

They pray on women who are at their most vulnerable. Granted, this particular company’s product is not insanely priced, but price is not the issue here. The issue is that they are insinuating that their product, not exercise in general, will help you fight off depression. You NEED their product to avoid Postpartum Depression and bond with your baby. Truth be told? You don’t.

Here are the things you may need to battle Postpartum Depression:

Professional support
Personal/peer support
Family support
Exercise (any kind will do)
Therapy/medication/supplements – IF prescribed and or/approved by your Professional support

Things you do NOT need to battle Postpartum Depression:

Products which promise to cure or ward off Postpartum Depression
Negative People/Support
Sparkly Unicorns (although they are awesome)
Leprachauns
Wizards
The Trix Bunny

Depression happens. There’s a right way to go about getting help and a wrong way. Ending up on a page like the one I have just blogged abut is the wrong way. Unfortunately, many, many people prey on at-risk populations so that they will spend money they don’t have on products they do not need. So how do you tell the difference between a good, solid, and helpful website vs. a bad, for profit, grubby website? Educate yourself starting with these two posts:

The reprehensible spammification of PPD

Tips on Identifying Reliable Health Information on the Internet

Then make sure to involve a medical professional in your Postpartum Mood Disorder care to help keep you safe and well as you travel toward recovery.

On the loss of a Postpartum Pioneer: Ilyene Barsky

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No matter what words follow, none could ever hope to encompass the driving and endlessly inspiring passion of Ilyene Barksy.

Just a few short hours ago, I learned that Ilyene has left us here. She has crossed her final bridge and is finally resting. Ilyene struggled with lung cancer for quite some time. Those closer to her are privy to those details.

As I feel driven to write about her here, my eyes are filling with tears, my heart is breaking and aching for the loss which has hit so many, including myself, so very hard. We knew it would be inevitable but it does not make these words or this post any easier to write. It does not make the pain any softer. It’s akin to bracing yourself for a car accident. The stiffer you are once the other vehicle hits you, the more pain you feel in the days after.

I never had the pleasure of meeting Ilyene in person.

She served as the Postpartum Support Coordinator for the state of Florida as well as the Southeast Regional Coordinator. It was through these capacities I got to know Ilyene.

I searched through my email tonight for my correspondences with Ilyene.

It wasn’t the eleven emails we tossed back and forth as we coordinated care for a client of hers between Georgia and Florida that tugged at my heart.

The email that got me was one I sent to her after a Regional call with the Coordinators here in the Southeast.

It read:

“During tonight’s call, my 23 month old son woke up. He was fussy and upset, using his “pain” cry too. (We’ve all had some form of upper respiratory issue here lately) I got him up and brought him into the living room after administering some motrin. Prior to leaving I had put the call on mute and popped it onto speaker. When we got in the living room, he fussed and kept looking over at the phone. He continued to fuss until he heard YOUR voice. Calmed him right down. I don’t even remember what you were saying or at what point in the call it was but the sound of your voice got him calmed down enough to where I was able to put him back to bed just a few seconds after you finished talking.

I just had to share with you. Thought you’d get a kick out of reading this! (And thanks, by the way! lol!)

Warmest,
Lauren

I remember that night. My son was particularly fussy. Everyone on the call was chatting back and forth. But then Ilyene piped up to say something. He immediately stopped his fussing and stared at the phone. It was as if Ilyene had worked some magic spell on him through the phone.

Man.

If she could do that on the phone with a sick, fussy, grumpy almost two year old, I can only imagine how she must have been as a therapist in person.

And now, I’m saying goodbye to someone I never met but truly was one of my mentors as I navigated my first few years as a peer support advocate and Coordinator with Postpartum Support International.

Within that batch of emails regarding client care coordination, Ilyene asked if we had ever met and if I would be at the L.A. Conference. I was unable to make it to the L.A. Conference but as many of you know, I made it to Pittsburgh this year. Ilyene did not.

Ilyene, I made it to a conference. I got to finally spend a week soaking up everything Postpartum which did not exist when you started your journey of helping others through PSI back in 1987. I got to go.

And one of these days in the very distant future, I know we’ll meet each other. It won’t be quite the way either of us planned, but I know it will be awesome.

Ilyene, you have been a huge part of what we, as Coordinators across the globe are doing these days. Because of you, because of Jane, because of Karen, and all the other early pioneers who so intuitively saw the desperate need for new moms who struggled with Postpartum Mood Disorders, we are here. Because of you, we are moving forward. You will be with us as we continue to reach out to struggling moms and their families.

There is a flame within the hearts of those of us who work closely with mothers and families struggling with Postpartum Mood & Anxiety Disorders. You are part of that flame for so many.

I, and many others, will never let that flame go out.

Thank you, Ilyene, for your mentoring, your warm heart, your caring nature, and for being you. You too, are a “peach.”

We all love you deeply and miss you more than we can ever possibly express.

(If you are not familiar with Ilyene, visit her website at The Center for Postpartum Adjustment)

Protecting yourself: Coping with Negative News & Current Events

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I experienced a traumatic birth with my first daughter. When I came home, I ever so brilliantly watched CNN Headline News most of the day when my husband was at work. I also watched a lot of movies and Star Trek: The Next Generation but the CNNH was my default setting.

For the most part, it was background noise.

Until the reporter would start talking about something absolutely horrific. Or they would show graphic pictures. Or they would obsess over the same negative news for hours at a time. Which, let’s face it, happens a LOT on the news these days.

I remember Hurricane Katrina. I was depressed, pregnant with our second daughter, and more than likely should not have turned on the Television. But I did. BAM. Triggered.

After the birth of our second daughter though, I turned off the news. I turned off any medical dramas. She spent almost an entire month in the NICU. For me, my life turned INTO a medical drama. Without the appearance of George Clooney or Goran Visjnic, unfortunately. I did not need to leave the hospital to come home and watch ER or Grey’s.

I limited my exposure to news. I did not go to CNN’s website or watch their channels. Same with Fox, MSNBC, local news, etc. I was safe.

But then I found Social Media.

On Social Media, it is HARD to ignore current events. Especially on Twitter where the majority of stories take off before any news outlet even picks them up.

I follow one news outlet on my feed. Only one. I may even drop them. If my Twitter feed is blowing up with news I find triggering, I close my laptop, shut off my Twitter app on my phone, and focus on the kiddos, myself, and laughing. Sure, I could let myself drown in the speculation, the negative spirals downward, and the ebb and flow of drama. But I choose not to do so. It is not because I do not want to be informed. I very much want to be informed. I just want to be informed on my terms, not on the terms the news outlets seem to think I need to be informed upon.

Much of the time, news is sensationalized in order to turn a profit. It’s meant to make you gasp, elicit an emotional response, and stay glued to your TV or buy the newspaper. There is a reason you do not see happy, non-sensationalized news very often. It is because frankly, it does not sell papers.

If news and current events trigger you, turn off your TV. Cancel your newspaper subscription. Think of other positive things you can do with the money you’re spending on that paper subscription – like a massage or even therapy!

If you MUST read news, go here: http://www.happynews.com/

Think of turning off the news as a necessary step in self-care as you move toward recovery from your Postpartum Mood Disorder.

What other triggers do you find you need to protect yourself from? Share your trigger and coping method below!

Whatever Wednesday: Questions from Twitter

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I decided to take questions from Twitter today. Only the first 5 responses though so as not to overwhelm myself. In no particular order, here are the questions and their answers.

1) @ksluiter asked: I want to know about succesfully weening to get pregnant or staying on meds while pregnant.

Staying on meds while pregnant was a decision I struggled with when I became pregnant with our son. The pregnancy was not planned so I skipped over the whole “weaning to get pregnant” concern and skipped straight into the “should I stay on my meds while pregnant” arena. This is most definitely a decision which should be made with the help of a medical professional. There were a few things which helped me make my decision a little easier:

a) Moms on meds when pregnant and then go off their meds during pregnancy face a higher relapse rate for mental health issues (specifically Postpartum) after delivering.

b) Baby has already been exposed to medication for 4-6 weeks by the time you realize you are still pregnant (unless you weaned beforehand) Going off meds cold turkey will affect baby as well as you.

c) High levels of stress/depression cross the placenta as well and can inhibit fetal growth and spur premature delivery. Given that my 2nd daughter had indeed been born nearly 5 weeks early, I was not interested in going that route again.

Bottom line here: This decision is an intensely personal decision. Talk with your doctor. Research. Know what you are comfortable with doing.

Couple of great resources for this are: Pregnant on Prozac by Shoshana Bennett and also Otis Pregnancy (also has a Twitter presence: @OtisPregnancy) Check them out.

2) @invisibledaddy asked: what’s the closest experience you’ve had to ppd besides ppd itself, to help us get a sense?

Wow. I had to really think for this question. I think the closest experience I have had to PPD happened my junior year of college. Within 19 days between February and March, I lost both of my grandfathers. This left me with no grandparents. The subsequent grieving process I went through was extremely similar emotionally to how I felt during Postpartum Depression. My grief was a very physical grief and that’s where it differed from my Postpartum. It also differed in that I wailed. A lot. Quite often I would wail and scream myself to sleep. I struggled with anxiety attacks as well, something I did not experience during Postpartum. I also thrashed and hit. It took me a very long time to recover.

The most important difference here is that people expect you to grieve when you lose a close family member or friend. When you have Postpartum, there is an element of guilt and shame accompany the disorder with which you struggle. Why? Because you have a baby. You SHOULD be happy. Even those who experience the grief of miscarriage or losing an infant within the first months of life experience this as many around them will tell them awful things such as “Well, it was never a REAL baby” (miscarriage) or “He/she wasn’t here very long so the pain will fade quickly because you didn’t have a lot of time to bond.” Acerbic comments such as this are extremely unhelpful and only serve to expose the ignorance of those offering them. (FYI, for a great website about miscarriage and infant loss, I highly recommend the folks over at Grieve Out Loud.)

Another thing I experienced with Postpartum that not many associate with it was intense anger and increased irritability. Many associate crying as one of the major symptoms. While it is a symptom, it is not one that every mom will experience. Many moms instead become very overwhelmed and as a result, develop what I term “explosive” personalities, blowing up over the smallest perceived injustice or high expectation.

3) @MamaRobinJ asked: How about blogging about PPD. How much detail do you think people should offer? What’s too personal?

I have a few personal rules I stick to when blogging about PPD. The primary goal is to keep from endorsing specific medications as I feel that is a discussion best left between physician and patient and to keep from triggering others.

Sharing details is good to an extent. That said, if you have a piece you are posting to your blog that a new mom may visit, always ALWAYS warn at the very beginning of the piece that if someone is in a fragile state, they should probably skip the post and come back when they’re feeling a bit healthier. I’ve taken to posting music videos via YouTube at the beginning of posts I think may trigger someone. Katherine Stone, author over at Postpartum Progress, has a symbol she posts at the beginning of potentially triggering posts. We all have our own methods but we all keep in mind the fact that the people reading our blog may not be in the same mindframe we are now.

Another thing aspect of sharing details is that in writing your own story, you may feel drained. It may drag up some of the same emotions you had when you experienced while in the depths of PPD. Be prepared to deal with this. Sharing is therapeutic. But it can also be exhausting. Share at a pace which is healthy for you. Your mental health is far more important than indulging the curiosity of your readers.

Too personal for me is:

Naming the Psych Hospital I spent time in
Naming any of my Physicians
Naming any of my medications

Even with HIPAA, for me this is a privacy issue and one that I will not disclose under most circumstances.

If I do disclose my medication, I am very careful to say that it is what worked (or didn’t work) for me. All treatments/therapies work differently for different people. It is important for us to respect the journey of others toward wellness.

4) The good folks over at @bandbacktogether asked: “why did you start to blog?”

The best answer to this question is back at my very first post in May 2007. But, for the sake of posterity and saving you a click and a ton of reading (and the horrificness of my first ever blog post), my husband and I found ourselves quite unexpectedly pregnant after a very nasty episode of Postpartum OCD (and probably PTSD due to my daughter’s NICU stay). Once the pregnancy test lines turned pink and I dug myself out of bed after reading Karen Kleiman’s “What Am I Thinking: Having a Baby After Postpartum Depression,” I decided to start a blog in order to “reframe” my pregnancy as Karen suggested. Little did I know something I started for just for me would still be around nearly four years later and evolved into what it has today – including #PPDChat at Twitter every Monday at 1p & 830p ET.

5) @TouchstoneAZ asked: “Have you seen any correlation between when period returns pp even while bfing and PPD?”

When I asked for further clarification, she stated she was asking about mood and period. If I’ve understood her question correctly, I think she’s asking about increased issues with mood during PMS after an episode of Postpartum. SO many mothers (including myself) struggle for a long time with increased mood issues during PMS after a Postpartum episode. I get increasingly irritable, cranky, and just all around grumpy. I was on medication for PMS prior to pregnancy for my PMS. In fact, I remember reading research stating that women with PMDD (or severe emotional issues during PMS) are at a slightly higher risk for developing PPD. I can’t find the link at the moment though as my kids are on day 3 home from school for snow and frankly, my brain is fried. I’m also defending my laptop from my three year old as I type this so .. when I find the link, I’ll update this answer with it, I promise.

This was fun! I may have to do this again next week! If you liked this feature and have a question about my experience or anything Postpartum related, please either @ me on Twitter (I’m @unxpctdblessing) or email it to me at mypostpartumvoice(@)gmail(dot)com with “Q&A submission” as the subject line. I look forward to hearing from you!