Tag Archives: postpartum depression

Postpartum Voice of the Week: @ksluiter’s Secret Mommyhood Depression Confession

 

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One of the hardest questions a mom with Postpartum Depression harbors somewhere deep within her is “When will this be over?”

A couple of months? A few? More? A year? When? How will I know I am better?

When?

When a doctor prescribes antibiotics, we take them, usually for 5-10 days. And then we’re supposed to be better.

Depression does not work that way. Mental illness does not work that way.

For some of us, just as with any illness, we may heal faster.

For others, it may take some time for our minds to bounce back from the issues we are facing. If we’re on the longer end of the expected time frame, it does not mean there is something wrong with us. It doesn’t mean that we have done something to deserve to continue to suffer. Our road is just longer. We may have more baggage, more to work through, continued external drama, less support, struggling to find the right meds, therapists aren’t working well, etc. There are a whole host of reasons for our road to be longer. Reasons we may not understand in the here and now as we scream for a shorter road. Scream to be able to sit down and rest, to stop fighting with this beast of depression.

We just want it all to go away.

But when on a long road toward recovery, it may not seem as if it will ever go away.

That’s when it gets tough all over again.

Katie Sluiter of Sluiter nation is there. She’s there and struggling with thoughts that her depression may never go away.

This past Friday, as part of Secret Mommyhood Confession, she wrote about her continued battle against Depression. She shared that it may well have gone from Postpartum to full blown depression. This post is worth reading for a few reasons.

One – sometimes Postpartum continues into a full blown depression or other mental illness. Sometimes it doesn’t go away as quickly as we would like it to and sometimes it morphs into a tenacious little monster we are unable to get off our backs. And it sucks.

Two – Katie, once again, approaches this issue with a raw honesty that is absolutely the essence of the Postpartum Voice. Honesty, above all else, is an important element toward recovery. It garners positive support from your doctor, important support from your peers, and it allows you to work through some pretty hard stuff in a very clear cut manner. Once you are honest with yourself, it is hard to be dishonest with others.

With no further ado, I give you Katie Sluiter of Sluiter Nation and her Secret Mommyhood Depression Confession.

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Complain or give thanks? It’s up to you

We are taking a Bible study course at our church on Wednesday nights called “Lord, Change My Attitude.” Authored by James McDonald, it is an amazing course already. Tonight was just the second night.

One of the verses James talked about tonight really hit home with me:

In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Did you read it?

Read the first part again: In EVERY THING give thanks.

Every thing.

Not some things.

Not just the good things.

But EVERY THING.

As I sat in class, I thought of everything I have ever been through about which I could possibly complain but instead already find myself thanking Jesus for these events. For this, I am again, thankful.

It is HARD to sit in the middle of trauma, tragedy, tough stuff, and say “Thank you.” It is so much easier to give up, get angry, walk away. But to instead be given the grace of God to be able to say Thank You to God for the hard stuff too? Mind-blowing.

As I thought about this, I realized this practice of giving thanks is a habit I already practice.

For instance:

I could complain that almost three years ago I wrecked my car – my favorite car and best friend from college. I went everywhere in that car. But instead I am grateful. Grateful and thankful because wrecking that car saved my marriage.

I could complain that because of my wreck I spent the night at the ER and in jail. Instead, I am grateful and thankful because that time allowed me to spend time with God and pray before I had to go home and talk with my husband.

I could complain that my husband spent our money on marijuana instead of on insurance for the car. But instead I am grateful and thankful because that allowed me the time I needed to spend time with God and pray before I had to go home and talk with my husband about his confession of addiction.

I could complain that God allowed me to struggle with Postpartum Depression twice. But instead I am grateful and thankful because that hell? Prepared me for the hell I would soon face as the wife of a recovering addict.

I could complain that God gave us a daughter with a Cleft Palate. But instead I am grateful and thankful because she has taught us patience, love, and how to be better parents. Through her, we have both grown leaps and bounds as parents, as husband and wife, and as man and woman.

I could complain that my husband is unemployed. But instead I am grateful and thankful because he is able to be here with us and spend time with his children and family. I am grateful for the budgeting skills it has required us both to develop.

I could complain that I lost a lot of relatives when I was a kid. That I got to know grief a bit too intimately before I was 12. But instead, I am grateful and thankful because all of that? Prepared me for everything I just listed. There’s a reason for everything God has done in my life. To be able to look back and see it laid out before me as clear as day is a sight to behold – and I am eternally grateful to Him for deciding to let me see my road map.

I can’t wait to see what He has planned for my future. I am not scared. I know, that as He has done time and again, He will carry me when I need it most. That I will lean hard on Him because He has taught me well. And for that, I am grateful.

So you see, I could complain. A lot.

But instead, I am grateful and thankful.

What are you complaining about? How can you turn your complaining into gratitude? Spin it. Turn your negatives into positives.

I’m not saying it is an easy thing to do. It is a very hard thing to do. But it is a very FREEING thing to do.

I challenge you – turn just ONE complaint into a gratitude today. And then do it again tomorrow with another one. And again the day after.

Protecting yourself: Coping with Negative News & Current Events

I experienced a traumatic birth with my first daughter. When I came home, I ever so brilliantly watched CNN Headline News most of the day when my husband was at work. I also watched a lot of movies and Star Trek: The Next Generation but the CNNH was my default setting.

For the most part, it was background noise.

Until the reporter would start talking about something absolutely horrific. Or they would show graphic pictures. Or they would obsess over the same negative news for hours at a time. Which, let’s face it, happens a LOT on the news these days.

I remember Hurricane Katrina. I was depressed, pregnant with our second daughter, and more than likely should not have turned on the Television. But I did. BAM. Triggered.

After the birth of our second daughter though, I turned off the news. I turned off any medical dramas. She spent almost an entire month in the NICU. For me, my life turned INTO a medical drama. Without the appearance of George Clooney or Goran Visjnic, unfortunately. I did not need to leave the hospital to come home and watch ER or Grey’s.

I limited my exposure to news. I did not go to CNN’s website or watch their channels. Same with Fox, MSNBC, local news, etc. I was safe.

But then I found Social Media.

On Social Media, it is HARD to ignore current events. Especially on Twitter where the majority of stories take off before any news outlet even picks them up.

I follow one news outlet on my feed. Only one. I may even drop them. If my Twitter feed is blowing up with news I find triggering, I close my laptop, shut off my Twitter app on my phone, and focus on the kiddos, myself, and laughing. Sure, I could let myself drown in the speculation, the negative spirals downward, and the ebb and flow of drama. But I choose not to do so. It is not because I do not want to be informed. I very much want to be informed. I just want to be informed on my terms, not on the terms the news outlets seem to think I need to be informed upon.

Much of the time, news is sensationalized in order to turn a profit. It’s meant to make you gasp, elicit an emotional response, and stay glued to your TV or buy the newspaper. There is a reason you do not see happy, non-sensationalized news very often. It is because frankly, it does not sell papers.

If news and current events trigger you, turn off your TV. Cancel your newspaper subscription. Think of other positive things you can do with the money you’re spending on that paper subscription – like a massage or even therapy!

If you MUST read news, go here: http://www.happynews.com/

Think of turning off the news as a necessary step in self-care as you move toward recovery from your Postpartum Mood Disorder.

What other triggers do you find you need to protect yourself from? Share your trigger and coping method below!

 

Postpartum Voice of the Year: Round III

Two weeks of pre-finals down!

This is the final group of nominations before the finalist group goes up for voting next week.

Just was with the previous two groups, these pieces were chosen as Postpartum Voice of the Week here at My Postpartum Voice.

Finalists will go up for voting next Sunday for one week.

The 2010 Postpartum Voice of the Year will be announced on Monday, January 31st.

As more and more women choose to actively share their postpartum mood disorder journeys, we all grow as mothers, as a community, as women who are constantly reaching out to hold the hand of another mother who may be faltering herself.

From the bottom of my heart, I thank each and every one of you for so courageously sharing your stories with the world. You have made a difference in so many lives.

As always, I urge you to go read the pieces prior to voting. You’ll find the titles and URL’s linked below the Poll.

Happy Voting!

P.S. For those of you nominated, email me at mypostpartumvoice(@)gmail if you want a cool “nominated” button for your blog! Go on, brag a bit. You’ve earned it.

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When there is no light by @litanyofbritt

 

Proof that I am in a better place by Allison from O My Family

 

Post about Postpartum Depression by The Outdoor Wife

 

The no-baby blues? Postpartum Depression in the baby loss community by Kristine Brite McCormick

 

My Story by Miranda of Not Super Just Mom

 

@karma_D finds her Postpartum voice

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How can My Postpartum Voice better serve you?

When I changed the name of my blog to My Postpartum Voice, I promised it would be more for you.

There are some changes coming down the road for My Postpartum Voice. They will be slow and gradual but overall, aimed at improving the resourcefulness of this blog/website for Moms and Families in need.

One of the biggest projects I have planned will be an all new Resources page. Not only will it cover Postpartum Specific resources, it will also include resources provided by you for every day living.

If you add one or two or more things to this blog that would make life easier for you or for new and struggling Moms, what would it be?

What helped you the most when you were struggling? Do you have a book you would like to recommend to other moms?

Would you like to see more video? More interactive features? What does interactive mean to you?

Please help me better help and empower you by responding to these questions either in the comments or by emailing me at mypostpartumvoice(@)gmail(dot)com with Improvement Suggestions as the subject line.

I look forward to better serving you in 2011!!

Warmest,

Lauren