Category Archives: strong woman

Chinese Officer Breastfeeds Quake Orphans

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I know the primary topic here is Postpartum Mood Disorders but this story is a heart tugger and an amazing tribute to the power of maternal instinct. I am awed by this officer’s strength in the face of such an enormous tragedy.

Here’s the story as it appeared at cnn.com:

JIANGYOU, China (CNN) — A Chinese police officer is being hailed as a hero after taking it upon herself to breast-feed several infants who were separated from their mothers or orphaned by China’s devastating earthquake.

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Police officer Jiang Xiaojuan, 29, was feeding nine babies at one point.

Officer Jiang Xiaojuan, 29, the mother of a 6-month-old boy, responded to the call of duty and the instincts of motherhood when the magnitude-7.9 quake struck on May 12.

“I am breast-feeding, so I can feed babies. I didn’t think of it much,” she said. “It is a mother’s reaction and a basic duty as a police officer to help.”

The death toll in the earthquake jumped Thursday to more than 51,000, and more than 29,000 are missing, according to government figures. Thousands of children have been orphaned; many others have mothers who simply can’t feed them.

At one point, Jiang was feeding nine babies.

“Some of the moms were injured; their fathers were dead … five of them were orphans. They’ve gone away to an orphanage now,” she said. Video Watch the officer care for babies »

She still feeds two babies, including Zhao Lyuyang, son of a woman who survived the quake but whose breast milk stopped flowing because of the traumatic conditions.

“We walked out of the mountains for a long time. I hadn’t eaten in days when I got here, and my milk was not enough,” said that mother, Zhao Zong Jun. “She saved my baby. I thank her so much. I can’t express how I feel.”

Liu Rong, another mother whose breast milk stopped in the trauma, was awed by Jiang’s kindness.

“I am so touched because she has her own baby, but she fed the disaster babies first,” Liu said. “If she hadn’t fed my son, he wouldn’t have had enough to eat.”

Jiang has became a celebrity, followed by local media and proclaimed on a newspaper front page as “China’s Mother No. 1.”

She’s embarrassed by the fuss.

“I think what I did was normal,” she said. “In a quake zone, many people do things for others. This was a small thing, not worth mentioning.”

There has been a huge outpouring of support from families who want to adopt babies orphaned by the quake. But that process takes time, and there are mouths to feed.

Jiang misses her own son, who’s being cared for through the emergency by in-laws in another town, but she is aware of the new connections she’s made.

“I feel about these kids I fed just like my own. I have a special feeling for them. They are babies in a disaster.”

Psalm 37:5

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praying hands

Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in Him; and He shall bring it to pass.

This morning I spent in the confines of a local courthouse awaiting legal ramifications from my accident on March 29th earlier this year. Chris, his dad, and our pastor were all with me. And God was there, surrounding all of us and comforting me as I sat and waited. And waited some more. And some more.

We spoke with the prosecutor and shared with him my extenuating circumstances. Thankfully he took compassion on my situation and the court was merciful. I am on probation and will have to pay fines as well as restitution. Probation will end early if I pay restitution, fines, and provide proof of insurance and an up to date tag on any vehicle I own. I did not have any points placed on my license for the accident or the insurance and for that I am grateful. They could have taken away my license if they had wanted to do so. And when we called about restitution after arriving home, it had been reduced significantly. Let’s hope it stays that way!

I am relieved court is over and we can continue to move forward. There’s still a long road ahead of us but we are grateful for the opportunity to grow in our marriage and in our relationship with the Lord.

A Closer Look at Charlotte Perkins Gilman

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Charlotte Perkins Gilman

 

Why write about Charlotte Perkins Gilman at a blog about Postpartum Depression you might ask. She suffered a near nervous breakdown after the birth of her first child, leading her to author The Yellow Wallpaper, an intense short story about a woman’s treatment during a nervous breakdown, a story that one led a Boston Physician to state in The Transcript that “Such a story ought not to be written, he said; it was enough to drive anyone mad to read it.” Possibly so, but a physician from Kansas also wrote that “it was the best description of incipient insanity he had ever seen, and–begging my pardon–had I been there?” (Perkins Gilman)

Sadly, her nervous breakdown led to divorce and leaving her daughter in the custody of her ex-husband. Turning to writing as a way of earning money,  Gilman eventually found herself as a spokesperson regarding “women’s perspectives on work and family.” Perkins Gilman believed that men and women should share household duties and particularly that women should be taught to be economically independent from a very early age (DeGrazia, Jodi), a topic she focused on in her work, Women and Economics, penned in 1898.

The Yellow Wallpaper has been a favorite story of mine since first read, love at first words. I identified with the main character well before experiencing motherhood and my own brush with insanity shortly thereafter. Perkins Gilman did an exquisite job of breathing a realistic insanity into her main character as well as exposing the mental health diagnoses and “cures” of the day for what they truly were – sadly insufficient and ignorant of treating the illness and instead closeting away those who suffered in hopes of recovery or at least not be part of mainstream society and  therefore remain to be a “figment” of one’s imagination, the dark family secret.

In 1887, Perkins Gilman sought treatment for continuous nervous breakdown from the best kThe Yellow Wallpapernown nervous specialist in the country. The rest cure applied and she responded well physically; however, the physician then declared all was well; sending her home with “solemn advice to ‘live as domestic a life as far as possible,’ to ‘have but two hours’ intellectual life a day,’ and ‘never to touch pen, brush, or pencil again’ ” for the remainder of her days. Gilman then writes regarding the effectiveness of this advice, saying “I went home and obeyed those directions for some three months, and came so near the borderline of utter mental ruin that I could see over.” (Perkins Gilman)

Engaging the help of a close friend and gathering what strength she had left, Perkins Gilman picked up her artistic work again and began to recover, finding strength within her work and “ultimately recovering some measure of power.” This experience is what led her to write The Yellow Wallpaper. Perkins Gilman admits to embellishments, stating she “never had hallucinations or objections to my mural decorations”. Written as a celebration of return to her success, her true motivation behind sharing her story, albeit in a fictional world, lay within the hope of saving others from her fate of mistreatment and the nearly paralyzing insanity following soon after.

In Perkin Gilman’s own words regarding her authorship of The Yellow Wallpaper, she states:

It has, to my knowledge, saved one woman from a similar fate–so terrifying her family that they let her out into normal activity and she recovered.

 But the best result is this. Many years later I was told that the great specialist had admitted to friends of his that he had altered his treatment of neurasthenia since reading The Yellow Wallpaper.

 It was not intended to drive people crazy, but to save people from being driven crazy, and it worked.

The number one reason I hear when women have chosen to share their experience with a Postpartum Mood Disorder is the hope that it will provide comfort to another as she travels down the same road. It is with the same spirit Perkins Gilman penned The Yellow Wallpaper that I share my story. Recovery is a hard road and sometimes a lonely road. I said from the very beginning of reaching out to others with a helping hand that if I could help even one woman, it would all be worth it.

The screaming, the agony, the tears, the lifting of the fog – it would all begin to somehow make sense and instead of continuing to drag me down, it would lift me up. The fog did not begin to lift until I reached out for help and found it – drenching myself in the stories of others who had been where I no longer wanted to be and read with new understanding and an intensity I had never known before just how they were able to escape the depths of depression and reach the light, breathing in sweet fresh air again.

Determined to shine a light on the path for those behind me and around me, I dove full force into sharing my story. Every time I shared my experiences with a woman who believed she had no hope left and found herself ashamed of her condition and witnessed what an impact my openness and vulnerability had on her, I knew supporting Mothers was my calling.

So I write about Charlotte Perkins Gilman in order to better explain my mission here at this blog and in life. I refuse to let another woman suffer alone and in silence. Not on my watch.

Sharing the Journey with Helena Bradford

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Welcome to the second interview in this month’s series, Mothers of Women who have Struggled with PPD. Today’s interview is with Helena Bradford, mother to Ruth. Helena has courageously dedicated her life to helping women with PPD through her foundation, the Ruth Rhoden Craven Foundation. She tragically lost Ruth to PPD as a result of inadequate medical care and lack of information provided by medical professionals and is passionate about not letting that happen to anyone else. Helena has a wonderful quote as part of her email signature and it has immersed itself in my life and has kept my bad days limited to being singular in occurence as I remind myself of WHO holds my tomorrow. I want to share it with you and thank Helena for sharing it with those who email her.

I don’t know what tomorrow holds,
but I know Who holds tomorrow.

Helena truly has turned her tragic loss into such a powerful and wonderful shining light, filling those who are suffering with hope and allowing them to know that yes, there are people who care and they are NOT alone in their suffering. Thank you Helena, for your bravery, optimism, perseverance, and compassion. All four are awesome traits needed in the PPD world and we are indeed a lucky community to have your dedication to improving and spreading knowledge and resources to women and families who need it!

  

What was it about your daughter’s experience with PPD that led you to start the Ruth Rhoden Craven Foundation?

 The fact that she received exceptionally poor treatment and died as a result. We received no information about PPD, no guidance in how to help Ruth stay alive, and no support from the medical community. We were certainly never told PPD was temporary and totally treatable, so these are some of the services we provide to the public through our Foundation. 

 How soon after your daughter gave birth did you begin to notice something wasn’t quite right with her? What were some of her primary symptoms?

 Shortly after delivery – like a day or two. Ruth’s symptoms included:  

  • I’m not sure I’m capable of taking care of this baby

  • Social withdrawal; behavior totally out of character

    Ruth made the statement she felt she needed to be institutionalized and that scared her to death

  • MEGA frustration and feelings of inadequacy – how can I do everything that has to be done and do it in a manner acceptable to me?

  • “Freaking out”, internally, every time the baby cried even though she knew there was someone there to take care of Andrew when she didn’t feel she could. Felt it was her responsibility – not someone else’s

  • Couldn’t sleep because her brain wouldn’t quit racing about how she was going to get everything done for the baby as well as her normal, everyday duties – mega problems with sleep deprivation

  • Found her on the floor in a corner between two large pieces of furniture one morning. When asked why she was there, she said she was hiding.

 

  What were some things that you drew strength from during this difficult time with Ruth?

 My faith in God and the support of friends and church family. 

 Has working with the Ruth Rhoden Craven Foundation taken Ruth’s tragedy and turned it into something positive for you?  

   Absolutely! I believe God has taken Ruth’s totally needless death and saved many lives through the story of her tragedy.  

 How uplifting is it for you when you are able to successfully help a woman and family in need?  

 Indescribably powerful and affirming. Being able to rescue moms and their families from the devastation of postpartum depression/perinatal mood disorders removes some of the senselessness of Ruth’s death. It gives positive meaning to her life and to the beautiful person she was.  

  Do you feel that the resources available to women with PPD have improved? 

 Yes they have, but we still have an exceptionally long way to go to eliminate tragedies and devastated lives and families as a result of PPD. I would say the majority of medical care givers and lay people are still totally ignorant of facts surrounding perinatal mood disorders and their treatment. That’s unacceptable.  

 

 What were some of the things you did as a mother to try to help Ruth?  

 I lived with Ruth and took care of her, the house and the baby for nearly 6 weeks. In addition, I brought her home with me a couple of times. For 2 ½ months, I was with Ruth more than I was away from her. Although that kind of support is crucial in battling PPD, it may not be enough if bad medical treatment is being received. It certainly wasn’t for Ruth. 

I tried to find good medical care for her but was unsuccessful. I wish I had taken her to Raleigh, NC where there is a PPD support group. I think she would have benefited tremendously from the group. 

 

 Tell us about your Walk/Run coming up in September that helps to raise awareness for PPD as well as funds for your organization. How did it get started? 

 Well, that’s a really neat story. One of the sweetest men in the world came to our house one night about five years ago to deliver an oxygen machine to my husband that his doctor had prescribed. While Gary was explaining the operation of the machine to us, we got off on the subject of the Foundation. After hearing Ruth’s story, Gary was in tears and said he wanted to do a fundraiser for us. THAT was the birth of the PPD Awareness Walk/Run. 

 The Run is held annually at Hampton Park in Charleston, SC. (For more information, please visit our web site at www.ppdsupport.org.) Both runners and walkers are invited to participate. Each year folks from all over our country, who work with PPD issues, travel to Charleston to participate. To me, that’s the most fun part because I get to meet the dedicated, passionate professionals and volunteers (some are PPD survivors) with whom I work throughout the year. 

 

 In your opinion, what should all expectant mothers know about PPD? 

  Postpartum Depression is totally treatable and is a temporary illness. No one needs to die as a result of it.  

  • There is help available. Please reach out for it, and don’t hesitate to change doctors if you feel you are receiving improper treatment or if you are not being heard. Postpartum depression is a valid illness that is equally as serious as bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. Thank God, it is temporary if treated early on and properly

  • Although there are definite risk factors for experiencing PPD, to my knowledge there is no way to know who will experience it and who won’t. That’s why I feel good PPD information should be provided in all birthing classes.

Have a plan in place before symptoms appear – just in case you happen to experience PPD. Some of the things a plan should include are:

  • a psychiatrist who is experienced in treating PPD

  • a night nurse or postpartum doula to take care of the baby at night so the mom can get plenty of sleep at night. This is critical.

  • friends/family members who will help the mom for several weeks (minimum) after she comes home from the hospital 

    

 Any advice for other mothers whose daughters are struggling with a Postpartum Mood Disorder?

 Make sure your daughter finds the best available medical care. Help her understand medication is necessary in most cases, and there is nothing wrong with taking that medication any more than it is to take medication for heart problems, diabetes or a whole host of other physical ailments. PPD is a physical illness that just happens to affect the brain instead of some other “more acceptable” organ in the body. No one deserves or asks for PPD!