Category Archives: strong woman

Sharing the Journey with Rachel Roberts, Mrs. Tulsa International

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I’m not sure how I came to know about Rachel Roberts. It may have been through Cheryl Jazzar or it may have been via an email from Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies. Regardless, I’m glad our paths have crossed. Rachel is currently Mrs. Tulsa International. Her issue platform? Postpartum Mood Disorders. She is passionately dedicated to getting the word out to families about this stigmatized illness. I’m thrilled to have her here today and hope you enjoy getting to know here as I have. Thank you Rachel for all you do.

Tell us about Rachel. What do you like to do when you’re not choreographing or mothering?

I love to hang out with my family, just relaxing in the living room or snuggling in bed watching a movie together. Often we are always on the go and it is nice to have some down time as a family. I also enjoy baking and traveling.

mrs-tulsa

As Mrs. Tulsa, you’ve made your platform Postpartum Depression Awareness.
Share with us your personal experience with PPD. When did you realize things weren’t quite right?

In June of 2006, I gave birth to my baby girl. She was perfect and beautiful! Right away I felt a disconne

ction from her. What should have been the happiest time of my life would turn out to be the most difficult.

My mom stayed with us for about 2 1/2 months. She and my husband began noticing I was not myself. I felt sad, tired and unmotivated. I did not feel like interacting with my daughter or anyone else. We all agreed it must be the baby blues and kind of ignored it.

After almost two months of living with depression, we all agreed it was something more. My family accompanied me to see the doctor, where I was diagnosed with Postpartum Depression.

The most difficult time was the evenings. My mom had ended her stay with us and my husband works nights as a police officer. After I put my daughter to bed I felt so alone. I would cry uncontrollably and have suicidal thoughts. I never had visions of hurting my daughter- I only wanted to hurt myself. This is when I realized my illness was getting more serious.

You mention it took some time to find the right course of treatment. What advice would you offer as a Mom to other moms who are having some difficulty in finding successful treatments?

Don’t give up! Everyone is different and it takes time to find what is right for you. Think outside the box… Treatment can include medication and therapy, but also can consist of rest, joining a support group, joining a MOMS Club, exercising, etc… Enroll in a mommy and me class or go to story time at your local library. For some, a combination of these suggestions is what will work the best.


How did your husband handle your PMD? Was your family supportive?

My husband along with my parents were very supportive. They were the ones who recognized my symptoms and went with me to get help. My husband would also take my daughter to the store or the park to give me a little time to myself. He helped me realize how precious our baby girl is and that feeling the way I was feeling was not my fault.


In building your platform, have you been surprised at the public response? Tell us about one of the more meaningful interactions you’ve had as a result of advocating for PMD awareness.

In general, the public response has been great. What really caught me by surprise is how appreciative local, state and national PPD and Mental Health organizations have been. I have tried to make contact with as many as possible and all of them have been so excited with my willingness to help.

My community has also been very supportive. I was asked to be at a family expo last month and the director graciously allowed me to hand out PPD information. While I was at this event, a grandmother came up to me to get some of the information I was distributing and told me she felt her daughter was suffering from PPD. It was wonderful to have the opportunity to discuss ways to approach the situation and some ideas for treatment. This like that makes me feel like I am doing the right thing and I love the opportunity I have to help others.

Name three things that made you laugh today.

My daughter! A few minutes ago she came in and said her toes looked like mommy’s. She had taken a marker (washable thank goodness!) and “painted” her toenails.

My husband makes me laugh everyday by telling me jokes or trying to fool me.

The third laugh of the day was while I was watching “Friends” reruns. It is my all-time favorite show and I can always count on that group of actors for a great laugh!


Many mothers who struggle with a PMD learn the hard way taking time for ourselves is one of the most important things we can do. What do you do to Mother yourself?

When I first had my daughter, this was one of the hardest things for me to understand. I felt selfish when I took the time I needed for myself. But, after forcing myself to do this, I realized it made me a better mother. I found MOM’s Club which was a wonderful way to meet other moms in my area and talk about what I was going through.

I also enrolled Maddy in a Mom’s Day Out program at our church for one day a week. This allowed me five hours to do whatever I wanted or needed to do, and it gave my daughter the opportunity to socialize with other kids. This year she entered preschool at our church and goes two days a week. She loves it and again it gives me a “mothering” break. Also, don’t forget your husband! Schedule a date night once in a while and whatever happens… try not to cancel it. Your relationship need alone time too.

What do you find the most challenging about parenting? The least?

The most challenging thing for my husband and I is ensuring certain values in our daughter. There is so much outside negative influence that can get in the way of our parenting, but we just have to trust that we are giving our daughter the lessons she needs to stay true to herself and her values.

The least challenging aspect of parenting is being “fun” parents. Going out, doing activities, getting dirty playing outside… These fun times create lasting memories for both the child as well as the parents.

What’s the personal significance of your website quote: “Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.”

This quote continues to remind me that even in the darkest times during our life, there will always be a light. I use this quote to describe my experience with Postpartum Depression. Caterpillars stay in a dark and lonely cocoon, but eventually they become beautiful butterflies who are set free.

Last but not least, if you had a one chance to give an expectant mother (new or experienced) one piece of advice about PMD’s, what would you tell her?

Don’t give up or give in. Having PPD is a difficult illness to deal with, especially while raising a new baby, but it is not the end of the world. Get help when and if you need it. Know that you are not alone and are not to blame. With help, you will be well!

We Cannot Afford to be Silent Any Longer!

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Shhhh…. Don’t tell anyone this but Postpartum Depression is fake!

It’s all a ruse by Big Pharma to get you to spend thousands, er, no, millions, on their products.

And that pesky MOTHER’S Act is at the very heart of the ruse.

The above is what the opposition of the MOTHER’S Act would have you believe about Postpartum Mood Disorders and The MOTHER’S Act.

If this were true, I highly doubt Hippocrates would have first written about Postpartum Depression thousands of years ago. (You know, WAY before Big Pharma even existed)

If this were true, then Big Pharma would have ensured my first OB wrote a prescription instead of turning me away and laughing me out of his office when I presented four years ago with rather significant symptoms at three months postpartum. Did I mention I was not “fed” any psychotropic medication or “propoganda”? I knew that thoughts of hurting my child and myself were NOT part of the normal postpartum experience and sought help to keep both of us safe!

Keep in mind that the MOTHER’S Act has been fighting to be passed for eight years now – more than enough time for Big Pharma to have properly funded a ton of education for lots of doctors and civilians. But wait – why do we have accounts of PPD experiences that go much much further back than eight years? What about Milk Fever? What about the UK’s law from 1922 relating to Postpartum Psychosis and infanticide? Wow. Big Pharma really has been at it for much longer then, huh?

And I suppose Charlote Perkins Gilman, author of The Yellow Wallpaper was paid off by Big Pharma to write her story protesting the very treatment of women struggling with Mood Disorders back in the 1800’s too.

If this were true, then Big Pharma “infected” me (twice) with Postpartum Depression just to get me to spend a ton of money on psychiatric medication.

If this were true, I would have been screened and treated with much more scrutiny during my second and third pregnancies because you know, the risk goes up after one episode. (But alas, I was not) Woohoo! More money for Big Pharma, right?

Oh yeah, that seems completely believable, doesn’t it?

Go, read the bill, and decide for yourself.

The Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHER’S Act (S 324) does NOT endorse medicating pregnant or postpartum women. It does not even endorse screening of new mothers. The MSB MOTHER’S Act instead provides for a study of screening efficacy, increased education and awareness on both sides – patients and physicians.

Knowledge is power, it is prevention. With each subsequent pregnancy I became more and more educated about my options. I made decisions in consultation with my physicians. As a Coordinator with Postpartum Support International, I encourage women who contact me to explore all their options. I do not encourage medicating specifically but will support whatever decision a mother makes. To medicate or not is a decision to be made between a woman and her doctor. The MSB MOTHER’S Act respects this. PSI respects this. I respect this.

We need to support mothers on their journeys. Twenty percent of new mothers (new or experienced) will experience a mood disorder. And up to 50% of their partners will experience depression as well. The last thing we need to do is to close the door on them. I have had this happen to me with no alternative treatment or options available. It is a very scary place to be indeed and is why I do what I do. I refuse to allow any mothers suffer in silence and fear as I did, holding on for dear life to the precious hope that one day she’ll wake up and be normal again.

Please do not let this happen to any other mothers. Don’t let them suffer in silence. Raise your voice. Let it be heard. Let mothers across the country know they are not alone, they are not to blame, and they will be well, no matter what road they choose towards help. Give them options instead of taking them away. Help us educate physicians. Help us educate American communities and remove the stigma and fear that all too often befalls a new mother struggling with intrusive thoughts, sleepless nights, and sobbing days. Let her know you are there for her. It is time to reach out with open arms and bring back the village that once raised Mothers and Children. The Desperate Village is running out of time and hope. Don’t let your voice be the one that causes their downfall. Speak up now.

(You can Speak up now by visiting Susan Dowd Stone’s website to email her with your name, state, any credentials and affiliated organizations. Your name will then be added to a list of supporters for The MSB MOTHER’S Act which will be delivered to all Senators on Mother’s Day. Won’t you do this one little thing for the Mother in your life?)

Susan Dowd-Stone addresses Anti-Pharma’s use of MOTHER’S Act as “Shaky Platform”

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The antipharma fight has gone on for years – it’s nothing new that was inspired by this legislation. Of course there are people for whom medication does not work. This is true with every medical condition known to man. So should we suspend medications just to spite “big pharma” for not producing the one size fits all silver bullet? Shall we just let millions of cancer patients, diabetics and severely mentally ill people languish in preventable misery? Should we ignore what research tells us about the life saving powers of every medication from penicillin to Prozac?

The most egregious aspect of these misrepresentations is the further victimization of suffering mothers by playing on their fears with falsehoods. What could possibly be the motive in predicting such a dire outcome for such a well meant initiative? When we pass The Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act, women in all economic and social strata in every state across the union will be able to find the help they need to return to health. How can one possibly distort this transparent intent?

So please add your name to the rapidly expanding list of state by state supporters at www.perinatalpro.com And then ask three more people to do so as well. Call members of the senate H.E.L.P. committee whose names and phone numbers are listed in my previous article. Truth has always been the most powerful advocate.

The complete article appears here at EmpowHer.com.

Letter from Mary Jo Codey in support of the MOTHER’S Act

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Here is a letter from Mary Jo Codey supporting the MOTHER’S Act. Susan Stone published this at her blog and you can read the complete post here.

Dear Supporters,

In 2004, when my husband was appointed acting governor for the state of New Jersey, I didn’t have to talk my husband into introducing legislation that would not only help women, but save the lives of women , babies and families suffering with this unforgiving illness called postpartum depression. Richard lived the pain with me. He saw the destruction this illness caused the entire family.

The Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS ACT will ensure that ALL women and their families are educated about postpartum depression. It would also provide research into the causes, diagnoses and treatments for postpartum depression. This bill will tell ALL women that they no longer have to suffer in shame or silence if they are confronted with feelings of depression during and after the birth of their newborn.

Now is the time to join me and help pass this critical legislation. Please show your support and sensitivity towards an issue that is so dear to my heart by adding your name today.

Warmly,

Mary Jo Codey
Former First Lady, State of New Jersey

Please endorse this critical legislation by sending an email to susanstonelcsw@aol.com with your name, state and any credentials or affiliations you have. The list will be sent to every Senator the week of MOTHERS Day.

Featured Blogger @ Coping with Life

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I recently completed work on an essay, The Desperate Village.

Upon completion, I decided to share it at as guest piece rather than publishing here.

The essay uses my personal experience as a frame to explain why the MOTHER’S Act needs to be passed.

Tom Davis over at Coping with Life loved the piece and published it last Thursday. As you know, I have regular features here on Thursday and Friday which is why I’ve waited until now to publish the news. Click here to read The Desperate Village. Feel free to leave comments at both blogs if you’d like.