Category Archives: Perinatal Mood Disorders

Survival Tips for having a baby after Postpartum Depression

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Once a Mom has experienced Postpartum Depression one of the questions at the forefront of her mind when thinking about another baby is: “Will Postpartum Depression return?”

No one can answer this question. No therapist, no doctor, no friend, not even you.

But the best thing you can do is to prepare for yourself instead of baby. Involve your medical professionals, your family, friends, etc.

Grace over at Arms Wide Open asked me to write a post covering just this topic.

You can read it here.

It’s chock full of great tips and ideas.

Read up!

Just Talkin Tuesday 07.13.10: Surviving a Bad Day

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Everyone has bad days. But when you’re depressed, a whole bunch of bad days get strung together. Then you start to heal. And then WHAM. A bad day pops up out of nowhere. It’s not quite relapse but it sucks nonetheless. Even those of us who are recovered still have sucky days. We may be recovered but we are far from perfect. Far far far from perfect.

I know typically this is a longer post but frankly, it’s been a rough day here and I’m about to fall asleep. I spent the better part of the morning at the pediatrician and lab with my 6 year old daughter. We’re now waiting to see if she develops a rash to determine a diagnosis. I’m praying the rash doesn’t show up and the symptoms are just an unlucky combination. Somehow I’ve managed to hold it together and I totally credit the hell I went through with Postpartum Depression for allowing me to make it through this day intact. Exhausted, but intact.

I looked forward to sitting down on the couch and just vegging out tonight, listening to some music, and hanging with the ladies over at #PPDChat on Twitter. I needed it tonight.

What are some things you do to help yourself get through a tough day? Have you learned your triggers yet? Are you able to cut it off before it gets going? (If you’re not, that’s okay – everyone is at different stages of recovery!) What gets you to calm down?

Let’s get to just talking ladies!

Thank you, GMA & Dr. Louann Brizendine for honestly discussing Postpartum Depression & Psychosis

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Earlier today, I watched a video of the disappearance of seven-year old Kyron Horman. It’s a sad story. Please don’t visit the link if you’re fragile and sensitive to tragic news.

The current speculation is that the step-mom struggled with Postpartum Depression or Psychosis and may be responsible for Kyron’s disappearance. Usually I get frustrated when I hear this because more often than not, the misinformation quickly follows. Psychosis symptoms get swamped in with those of Postpartum Depression and vice versa. The line is blurred and women with Postpartum Depression are automatically compared to Andrea Yates and other sensationalized cases of Psychosis. It gets me so angry.

GMA’s story involved the interview of a specialist, Dr. LouAnne Brizendine, author of The Female Brain. She blew me away. (Interview Link. Please don’t click if fragile!)

Not only did the GMA correspondent ask a lot of the right questions but Dr. LouAnne Brizendine clarified perfectly the differences between Postpartum Depression and Psychosis. The GMA correspondent followed up by asking if the Step-mom would even be suffering from Psychosis still as her baby is 19 months old now. Someone did their homework.

So thank you, GMA.

Thank you, Dr. LouAnne Brizendine.

THANK YOU for honestly discussing Postpartum Depression and Psychosis. Thank you for not lumping them together, for not sensationalizing them but for clarifying the differences, for calmly and rationally discussing this latest speculation.

My only caveat with this story is that the speculation has evolved to this point because of the Mom experiencing Postpartum Depression. And that is certainly not GMA nor Dr. Brizendine’s responsibility.

Granted, PPD and especially Psychosis take time from which to heal but just because a Mom has suffered does not mean they are prone to go off the handle at any second. I sincerely hope Kyron is found. I hope his stepmother had nothing to do with his disappearance. Please don’t judge her because she has this history – she did not choose this. It chose her. And we have no idea how it was treated, how her family supported her, etc. Frankly, at this point, I’m sure she’s not doing well with this added stress and attention. My prayers go out to the Horman family as they pray and wait for Kyron’s return.

Postpartum Voices of the Week: @heirtoBlair & @momgosomething

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This past week saw the best #PPDChat yet (I got tossed in Twitter jail – meaning I tweeted one too many times for Twitter within an allotted amount of time – WOOHOOO!), and now, I’m sitting here trying to decide between two absolutely amazing posts for Postpartum Voice of the Week.

You Mamas are rockin’ it this week. What’s in your Kool Aid???

I made up my mind – I’m not deciding.

This week there will be two Postpartum Voices of the Week.

Both of these wonderful posts offer up insight into what it’s like once the fog of Postpartum lifts. I think it’s important to discuss and share the depths of hell to which Postpartum Mood Disorders can drag you. But it is also very important to shine the light on the hope and happiness which awaits you on the other side of a Postpartum Mood Disorder.

First up, Blair over at Heir to Blair, writes a sweet poignant letter to PPD. She is oh so polite firm and kindly tells PPD to leave shove itself down a deep dark hole.

I hate you for what you did to me.  I hate that there was no rhyme or reason & at times, I still scream WHY ME?! when I think of how it could have been like this from the beginning had you not come knocking.  But I also know that without those horrible, bleak, terrible days, I would not realize HOW DAMN GOOD I have it right now.  I feel like I am seeing my son for the first time.  Like I am seeing myself as a mother for the first time.  & you know what?  I am a good mother.  & my son is amazing.  I finally understand that love that parents gush about, that desire to wake up in the morning & see a toothless grin over the railings of the crib.  To not only wish for that moment, but to desire it down to my core until it is the last thing I think about as I fall asleep – I can’t wait to wake up to him tomorrow. (via Blair @ Heir to Blair)

Then, Kimberly over at All Work & No Play make Mommy go Something Something broke out with a post entitled “The Bucket.” It’s so very poignant and offers such an amazing insight. Kimberly has been struggling lately through a severe relapse and through her 2-year-old, came face to face with a serious lesson about moving forward with life. Katherine Stone over at Postpartum Progress blogged about this post as well. Get the kleenex. It’s at least a Quadruple Tissue post, sniffles included.

On the last try, he made it all the way to the edge of the flower bed only making a few spills. As he excitedly dumped the water over my flowers and observed the pay off that his hard work had accomplished, he started to smile. He looked over at the pool and realized how far he had come with the bucket of water. Then he shouted “Yook Momma! Flowers wet!” When I smiled in approval and praised him for his determination, he threw the bucket and carried on with playing in the pool. That little man, a whole 23 months old, had taught me something very valuable in that moment. (via Kimberly @ Make Mommy Go Something Something)

Thanks ladies for such awesome posts. Keep the words flowing, keep the healing going, and keep on hanging on to the bright moments. They are amazing and get even better as you continue moving forward toward your flowers and full buckets.

Just Talking Tuesday: Did you have Postpartum Depression support from your Mom?

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Monday night at #PPDChat, one of the chatters shared with us how her mother helped her get the help she needed to begin recovery from Postpartum Depression.

I’ve heard from women who have had excellent support from their Mothers. I’ve also heard the exact opposite. Nightmarish stories from women who’s own Mothers told them to suck it up and get over themselves. Motherhood is hard. Get over yourself. Those stories always hit me right in the stomach and make me want to reach through the computer to have a word or two with the mothers of these women.

Postpartum Depression is so much more than facing a tough day as a Mother. It’s debilitating. It’s wanting desperately to love and hug your child while so not wanting to love and hug your child. It’s wanting to not be angry with your husband as you yell at him for not putting the cap back on the toothpaste or something equally as inane. It’s wanting to keep up with the housework but instead all the physical and mental strength you have barely allows you to get out of bed and survive the day. It’s wanting to believe no one else knows the horrible thoughts racing through your head as you try to talk yourself down out of the figurative tree you’ve now climbed all the way up. It’s believing you really are the worst parent in the world but deep down trying so hard to talk yourself into believing you are a good parent despite all the negativity swirling about your head. It’s wishing desperately for the return of hope, sanity, happiness, patience, and strength and the imminent flight of disillusionment, insanity, intense sadness, impatience, and physical weakness.

I’m ever thankful when a woman’s mom calls me or seeks me out for support and education about her daughter’s experience with Postpartum Mood Disorders.

My own mother was very supportive when I was struggling. I never hesitated to call her (sometimes several times a day – thanks for listening!) when I needed to vent. Granted, I probably shared more than I should have and probably still do sometimes. (I’m working on that!) My mother always emphasized the importance of keeping the communication lines open. She kept them open when I needed them most.

I want to hear what your experience was with support from your Mom during your Postpartum Mood Disorder Experience. Did she accept your diagnosis? Help you out around the house? Listen? Help you make sense of life when it just didn’t seem to make a lick of sense? Or did she judge you? Tell you to get over yourself and grow up? Criticize your treatment decisions? Not respect your boundaries as you healed? Or perhaps your mother wasn’t there – for whatever reason – how do you think that affected your experience?

Let’s get to just talking!