Category Archives: laughter

Sharing the Journey with Michael Lurie

Leave a reply

I first saw Michael Lurie on a Fox Morning program and immediately thought how wonderful it was for him to be sharing his story as it is very rare indeed to get a glimpse into the postpartum experience from a father’s perspective. In his book, My Journey to Her World: How I Coped with My Wife’s Postnatal Depression, Michael is transparently open and honest with the events as they unfolded. Familiar with his wife’s previous depressive episodes, her postnatal experience and his subsequent depression went well beyond anything either of them could have ever fathomed. I am honored to share his words with you here and sincerely hope that you will share them with the men in your lives. Michael has been extremely gracious and kind (we’ve had technical difficulties in pulling this together – our emails weren’t the greatest of playmates!) in completing this and I thank him for his patience. I also thank him for his bravery in forging such a valuable addition to resources available for fathers with partners suffering from postpartum depression.


Click here to purchase your own copy of My Journey to Her World

My Journey to Her World by Michael Lurie (cover)

How hard was it for you to witness your wife’s struggle with Postpartum Depression? What were some of the emotions you went through?

Very difficult to heartbreaking. Some emotions I went through were:

Helplessness- not being able to make things better quickly

Disbelief- I couldn’t believe things hag gotten so bad

Anger- Angry with G-d for Kate’s illness. Anger at family and friends who I felt did not fully understand the severity of the situation

Fear- that Kate may harm herself and the baby

At what point did you decide to write your book, My Journey to Her World?

Following several months of watching Kate deteriorate, I started brainstorming my thoughts on a piece of paper t try and get some cathartic release. A I wrote down my thoughts, I realized that this was a story that needed to be told to others in order to help others and avoid the frustration I felt at not having a resource spec ifically aimed for men.


Has becoming a Father changed you?

It has given me a sense of unconditional responsibility and love to my children which will last the rest of my life.

What aspect of being a Father is the most challenging? The Least?

Most challenging- the constant feeling of responsibility for another human being who is totally dependent on you.

Least challenging- the ability to unconditionally love your child.

How difficult was it to accept your own experience with depression during this time? Do you feel it brought you closer to your wife and allowed you to better understand her?

It was very difficult to accept my position and I need it confirmed by a third party (doctor) before acknowledging it. It did bring me closer to my wife as I got a small ‘taste’ of what a sufferer of depression goes through.

What are some things you did to actively support your wife during her episode of Postpartum Depression?

I ensured that she was functional even at her worst point and asked her to do even the smallest of chores- e.g. help m e fold the laundry.

I acknowledged her feelings and let her release emotions without questioning whether they were rational or not.

I ensured that on a practical level, there was nothing to worry about

I respected her need at times to be alone

I made her feel 100% comfortable to tell me how she was feeling at any time of day or night

Just as women with PPD learn that taking care of themselves is important, this is a lesson that Fathers should heed as well. What do you do on a regular basis to feed your soul and ensure that you stay in a good place?

Nurture and develop your hobbies and interests. Remember that you are first and foremost an individual who needs to look after them self in order to look after others.

Did PPD strengthen or weaken your marriage? Do you feel that you both are in a better place now than prior to PPD?

It strengthened it as it made us more committed to one another.

It made me appreciate my wife more for overcoming it and being such a fantastic mother

I would not say we are in a better place now as we were in a good place beforehand. I would say we are in a different place now as we have the realization and experience of PPD and its devastating effects.

What do you find to be the best part of being a Father?

The privilege of providing love and care for a child and seeing them develop into fulfilled and content people


If there was one piece of advice you could give to an expectant father (new or experienced), what would it be and why would this be important for him to hear?

Talk to people and if there is a problem – seek help. Don’t suffer alone.

AP News Alert – First Ever Indoor Hurricane strikes Home in Rural GA.

Leave a reply

Rural GA, sometime last night – Odd Weather has struck again. This time, it struck inside a home. For the first time ever, an indoor hurricane is strongly suspected for the damage. Hurricane AlliChar is being blamed for a horrific trail of destruction.

The hurricane seemed to have started immediately outside the children’s bedroom, continued into the kitchen where it opened drawers, appliances, and even pulled items from packaging. The Hurricane then took a sharp left turn through the back door and appeared to have done the largest amount of damage in the bathroom, tossing magazines, toys, and other various sundries about.

Residents are in quite a state of shock but do plan to rebuild with a tremendous increase in property protection planned as a large part of their rebuilding efforts. An estimate of damage was not immediately available.

Funny thing is that I read at One Step Ahead’s website just yesterday day if your child is over 30in tall and 30 lbs, ditch the gate and be extra vigilant. Apparently “THEY” have NEVER met my kids.

I admit, I overslept this morning and did not get out of bed until shortly after eight. First mistake.

Second mistake – thinking the door alarm would be a deterrent. It was not. The beginning of the trail

In fact, we awoke to the biggest trail of toddler destruction we’ve ever seen. Someone alert FEMA. We need federal aid. I think there would have been less of a mess if a tornado or hurricane had ripped through.

Our two year old was in the floor blissfully shoveling Neopolitan Ice cream into her mouth with her hands. (Our four year old had gotten it out of the freezer by standing on a stool) Oh yeah, and most everything else that looked “cool and fun” was out of the freezer too – those long ice pops you can  buy in the huge box, fudge pops, italian ice bowls, yeah…. all in the floor. (I managed to recover the italian ice bowls – they hadn’t opened them yet – and the freezer pops, well, they’re impenatrable so they’re back in the freezer as well. The ice cream was an unfortunate victim as were the fudge pops.)

Our four year old was still digging through the freezer and had the refrigerator door open as well. The pantry door (which DOES have a latch on it) was open, a brand new box of cereal, a jug of juice, and the syrup had been removed. And the destruction continues

They had also gotten into the drawer container on the VERY top of a VERY TALL white shelf we have – removed one of the drawers, spilled grits everywhere and the rest of the packages – country gravy mix, roasted potato seasoning, onion ring coating, etc – were scattered about quite randomly.

A pink inkpad had also been wrought free from one of the drawers – they left a trail of little pink fingerprints all over the kitchen.

And no, I’m not even close to being finished.

It continues, Oh yes it does.

The trail led to the bathroom. They had gotten the hair clippers down (at least they didn’t figure out how to plug them in or we might have two very bald little girls right now)

There was poop on TOP of the toilet lid. Yes, on TOP. (and yes, I laughed when I saw this – I mean, seriously. On TOP???)

And it endsMagazines were strewn everywhere – my Nair strips were all over the place – again, imagine how funny THAT would have been! Two toddlers with Nair wax strips stuck to them… I’m giggling just thinking about the possibility!

Toilet paper had been intertwined with the mess – not much, just enough to make one frustrated. As if everything else hadn’t already gotten to us. Oh, and Chris’ tool box has been dragged in there as well. Thankfully we didn’t find anything IN the toilet as that has been known to happen.

Some sort of white powder – probably a gravy mix of some sort had been spilled in the bathroom right outside the shower. Chris commented about stepping out of the shower into the gravy mix and I retorted, “Well honey, that’s what you call INSTANT BREAKFAST!”

His response? “Yuck.”

The excuse we got for all of this mess? ?

“But Mommy, we just couldn’t be patient for breakfast anymore. We were hungry!”

(Nevermind the fact that we don’t usually EAT breakfast until about 830a every morning)

 

My final comment about all of this?

Thank GOD both Chris and I have the blessed ability to laugh at even the worst things. Because if we couldn’t – well, we both probably would have had several heart attacks by now.

 

 

A bit of Sunday Humor

Leave a reply

Dear Lord,

So far today I am doing alright.

I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, nasty, selfish, or self-indulgent.

I have not whined, complained, cursed, or eaten any chocolate.

I have not charged anything on my credit card.

But I will be getting out of bed in a minute and I think that I will REALLY need your help then.

AMEN.