Category Archives: laughter

Sharing the Journey with Rachel Roberts, Mrs. Tulsa International

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I’m not sure how I came to know about Rachel Roberts. It may have been through Cheryl Jazzar or it may have been via an email from Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies. Regardless, I’m glad our paths have crossed. Rachel is currently Mrs. Tulsa International. Her issue platform? Postpartum Mood Disorders. She is passionately dedicated to getting the word out to families about this stigmatized illness. I’m thrilled to have her here today and hope you enjoy getting to know here as I have. Thank you Rachel for all you do.

Tell us about Rachel. What do you like to do when you’re not choreographing or mothering?

I love to hang out with my family, just relaxing in the living room or snuggling in bed watching a movie together. Often we are always on the go and it is nice to have some down time as a family. I also enjoy baking and traveling.

mrs-tulsa

As Mrs. Tulsa, you’ve made your platform Postpartum Depression Awareness.
Share with us your personal experience with PPD. When did you realize things weren’t quite right?

In June of 2006, I gave birth to my baby girl. She was perfect and beautiful! Right away I felt a disconne

ction from her. What should have been the happiest time of my life would turn out to be the most difficult.

My mom stayed with us for about 2 1/2 months. She and my husband began noticing I was not myself. I felt sad, tired and unmotivated. I did not feel like interacting with my daughter or anyone else. We all agreed it must be the baby blues and kind of ignored it.

After almost two months of living with depression, we all agreed it was something more. My family accompanied me to see the doctor, where I was diagnosed with Postpartum Depression.

The most difficult time was the evenings. My mom had ended her stay with us and my husband works nights as a police officer. After I put my daughter to bed I felt so alone. I would cry uncontrollably and have suicidal thoughts. I never had visions of hurting my daughter- I only wanted to hurt myself. This is when I realized my illness was getting more serious.

You mention it took some time to find the right course of treatment. What advice would you offer as a Mom to other moms who are having some difficulty in finding successful treatments?

Don’t give up! Everyone is different and it takes time to find what is right for you. Think outside the box… Treatment can include medication and therapy, but also can consist of rest, joining a support group, joining a MOMS Club, exercising, etc… Enroll in a mommy and me class or go to story time at your local library. For some, a combination of these suggestions is what will work the best.


How did your husband handle your PMD? Was your family supportive?

My husband along with my parents were very supportive. They were the ones who recognized my symptoms and went with me to get help. My husband would also take my daughter to the store or the park to give me a little time to myself. He helped me realize how precious our baby girl is and that feeling the way I was feeling was not my fault.


In building your platform, have you been surprised at the public response? Tell us about one of the more meaningful interactions you’ve had as a result of advocating for PMD awareness.

In general, the public response has been great. What really caught me by surprise is how appreciative local, state and national PPD and Mental Health organizations have been. I have tried to make contact with as many as possible and all of them have been so excited with my willingness to help.

My community has also been very supportive. I was asked to be at a family expo last month and the director graciously allowed me to hand out PPD information. While I was at this event, a grandmother came up to me to get some of the information I was distributing and told me she felt her daughter was suffering from PPD. It was wonderful to have the opportunity to discuss ways to approach the situation and some ideas for treatment. This like that makes me feel like I am doing the right thing and I love the opportunity I have to help others.

Name three things that made you laugh today.

My daughter! A few minutes ago she came in and said her toes looked like mommy’s. She had taken a marker (washable thank goodness!) and “painted” her toenails.

My husband makes me laugh everyday by telling me jokes or trying to fool me.

The third laugh of the day was while I was watching “Friends” reruns. It is my all-time favorite show and I can always count on that group of actors for a great laugh!


Many mothers who struggle with a PMD learn the hard way taking time for ourselves is one of the most important things we can do. What do you do to Mother yourself?

When I first had my daughter, this was one of the hardest things for me to understand. I felt selfish when I took the time I needed for myself. But, after forcing myself to do this, I realized it made me a better mother. I found MOM’s Club which was a wonderful way to meet other moms in my area and talk about what I was going through.

I also enrolled Maddy in a Mom’s Day Out program at our church for one day a week. This allowed me five hours to do whatever I wanted or needed to do, and it gave my daughter the opportunity to socialize with other kids. This year she entered preschool at our church and goes two days a week. She loves it and again it gives me a “mothering” break. Also, don’t forget your husband! Schedule a date night once in a while and whatever happens… try not to cancel it. Your relationship need alone time too.

What do you find the most challenging about parenting? The least?

The most challenging thing for my husband and I is ensuring certain values in our daughter. There is so much outside negative influence that can get in the way of our parenting, but we just have to trust that we are giving our daughter the lessons she needs to stay true to herself and her values.

The least challenging aspect of parenting is being “fun” parents. Going out, doing activities, getting dirty playing outside… These fun times create lasting memories for both the child as well as the parents.

What’s the personal significance of your website quote: “Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.”

This quote continues to remind me that even in the darkest times during our life, there will always be a light. I use this quote to describe my experience with Postpartum Depression. Caterpillars stay in a dark and lonely cocoon, but eventually they become beautiful butterflies who are set free.

Last but not least, if you had a one chance to give an expectant mother (new or experienced) one piece of advice about PMD’s, what would you tell her?

Don’t give up or give in. Having PPD is a difficult illness to deal with, especially while raising a new baby, but it is not the end of the world. Get help when and if you need it. Know that you are not alone and are not to blame. With help, you will be well!

A Little Slice of…. Normal?

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photo from flickr

photo from flickr

As my Postpartum OCD slammed against my shores, the skies darkened and angry bolts of lightning seared through the atmosphere. I hunkered down in a deep dark cave, curled up in the fetal position while wishing the skies would clear. Eventually they did and as puffy white clouds took the place of the dark angry ones, I began to realize the island I now found myself on wasn’t so bad. The laughter and comraderie filling the valleys no longer grated on my nerves. Not even the whining and crying could push me back to my cave. In fact, I slowly began to forget where my cave was – I think it’s been overgrown with dense vines or is hidden away behind a waterfall.

This afternoon with the kids was completely blissful. All three of them played together in the floor without arguing. They peacefully shared with their toys and burst with laughter. Allison wove a wonderful tale of marital bliss with Cameron’s toy cars. Charlotte giggled at Cameron’s newfound block playing skills. And Cameron just soaked up the attention from his big sisters as they surrounded him.

I immersed myself in the joy of watching my three children enjoy each other’s company. THIS is what motherhood is like without the angry and confusion of a mood disorder. Wow. I didn’t have a mood disorder after having Cameron but there were all the issues with Chris’ addiction that threw me for a loop. Moments like these- moments so tantalizingly perfect never fail to blow me away. They make all of this worth it – all the struggling, the fighting, the tears, the pain – all of it makes the joy I now feel so much brighter.

And it’s this joy that i wish for all the families I come in contact with because I remember all too well not knowing it.

Puppy Size

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This is a neat story. You will know precisely  what this little girl is talking about at the end (and you’ll want  to share this one with your loved ones and special friends)!

‘Danielle  keeps repeating it over and over again.  We’ve been back to this animal shelter at least five times. It has been weeks now  since we started all of this,’ the mother told the  volunteer.

‘What  is it she keeps asking for?’ the volunteer asked.

‘Puppy  size!’ replied the mother.

‘Well,  we have plenty of puppies, if that’s what she’s looking for.’

‘I  know… we have seen most of them, ‘ the mom said in frustration…

Just  then Danielle came walking into the office

‘Well,  did you find one?’ asked her mom.  ‘No, not this time,’ Danielle  said with sadness in her voice.  ‘Can we come back on  the weekend?’

The two women looked at each other, shook their heads and laughed

Danielle took her mother by the hand and headed to the door. ‘Don’t worry,  I’ll find one this weekend,’ she said.

Over the next few days both Mom and Dad had long conversations with  her.

They both felt she was being too particular.  ‘It’s this weekend or we’re  not looking any more,’ Dad finally said in  frustration.

‘We  don’t want to hear anything more about puppy size, either,’ Mom added.

Sure  enough, they were the first ones in the shelter on  Saturday morning. By now Danielle knew her way around, so she ran right for  the section  that housed the smaller dogs.

Tired  of the routine, mom sat in the small waiting room at the end  of the  first row of cages. There was an observation window so you  could see  the animals during times when visitors weren’t  permitted.

Danielle  walked slowly from cage to cage. One by one the dogs were brought out and she  held each  one.

One  by one she said, ‘Sorry, but you’re not the one.’

It  was the last cage on this last day in search of the perfect pup.

The  volunteer opened the cage door and the child carefully picked  up the  dog and held it closely.  This time she took a little  longer.

‘Mom,  that’s it!  I found the right puppy!  He’s the one!  I know  it!’ She  screamed with joy.  ‘It’s the puppy size!’
‘But  it’s the same size as all the other puppies you held over the last  few weeks,’ Mom said.

‘No – – not SIZE…  The SIGHS.  When I held him in my arms, he sighed,’  she said.

‘Don’t  you remember? When  I asked you one day what love is, you told me love depends on the sighs of  your heart.  The more you love, the bigger the sigh!’

The  two looked at each other for a moment.  Mom didn’t know whether  to laugh or cry.  As she stooped down to hug the child, she  did a  little of both.

‘Mom,  every time you hold me, I sigh.  When you and Daddy come home from  work and hug each other, you both sigh.  I knew I would find the right  puppy if it sighed when I held it in my arms,’ she said.

Then,  holding the puppy up close to her face, she said, ‘Mom, he loves me.   I heard the sighs of his heart!’

Close  your eyes for a moment and think about the love that makes you sigh. I not only find it in the arms of my loved ones, but in the caress  of a sunset, the kiss of the moonlight and the gentle brush  of cool  air on a hot day.

They  are the sighs of God. Take the time to stop and listen; you will be  surprised at what you hear. ‘Life is not measured by the breaths we take,  but by the moments that take our breath away.’



I hope your life is filled with Sighs!!!

Sweet Freedom

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The first lesson I have learned this past year is never ever to take anything for granted. The second? To truly hand over the reins of life to God. As long as He is in control, doors will be opened.

I had no idea how much my life would change when my car glided so gracefully in the mist into another vehicle at 10:00pm on a dark March night.

But it did change. My husband’s addiction was exposed. Lies and dishonesty was brutally served up on a broken platter that had been gilded with gold but was now covered in dust and cobwebs. Once again I very easily could have found myself in the depths of despair, dirt beneath my fingernails, struggling with every shallow and panicked breath to reach the top for fresh air. Instead I swallowed deeply and exhaled, strengthening every fiber in my being to stand planted firmly in my faith and my belief that this beast would not knock me down as long as God’s compassion and support remained on my side.

The beast may have won some skirmishes but it did not win the battle. My resolve, along with God’s strength, are no match for whatever may come at us through life.

Today, this particular battle ended.

My retribution has been paid. My probation has ended. I am blissfully a free member of society and no longer under the shadow and ever attentive eyes of the criminal justice system. Man it feels good to be free. One of my college professors oft quoted that one truly cannot appreciate joy until one has experienced the burst of sour grapes upon the palate. What an applicable quote for today.

I am also reminded of a bible verse which instructs us to put things in the past behind us and move forward – remind us that this is true wisdom.

photo courtesy Pezlet of Flickr

photo courtesy Pezlet of Flickr

So this is me. Putting it behind me and not looking back. Much like a butterfly freeing itself from the cocoon in which it has miraculously undergone so many changes. It’s my turn to fly away.