Category Archives: mom

Sharing the Journey with Jess Banas

I have been tremendously blessed to have the privilege to get to know Jess Banas. She is one of the most vibrant, compassionate, and warmest people that I have ever encountered. Jess serves as the Online Coordinator for Postpartum Support International and is one of the Adminstrator at the Online Postpartum Support Page (which was started by Tonya Rosenburg who will be appearing in an interview soon!) I hope that you find solace, truth, and comfort in Jess’ answers. I know that I have found all three through getting to know her and I am very excited to be able to share her sparkling personality with you!

 

 

1) I know that you have personal experience with Postpartum Thyroid Issues. Would you mind sharing your story with us and why it’s so important every woman get checked for these if PPD is suspected?

 My first bout of PPD was in 1997.  I had no idea that I was ill because of the lack of information related to postpartum anxiety that was available.  I did not recognize my irritability and insomnia as relatable to thyroid imbalance or illness, I just thought I was ungrateful (for the gift of motherhood) and felt I was failing as a mother.  Finally, I could not take the mood swings any longer and when I went in to get help, my doctor took my blood for a thyroid screen.  I was diagnosed with postpartum depression and thyroiditis.   

The second time I had PPD, I was on thyroid medication, but still had a thyroid imbalance.  My levels were 12 times higher than the highest normal range!  I later discovered that thyroiditis is fairly common.  In fact, studies indicate that 10% of postpartum women have thyroid fluctuations after pregnancy.  Unfortunately, thyroid screens are not a common part of the six week postpartum checkup, even though the risk for thyroid imbalances are considerably higher than that of gestational diabetes which is 1-3%.

2) What do you find to be most challenging about Motherhood? The least?

 The most challenging part of motherhood for me is finding harmony between my personal needs and those of my children.  I find that if I don’t give time to myself and my relationship with my husband and friends, I become worn down, start to feel resentful, and feel less patient and tolerant.  Giving to myself and taking care of my needs is not only important, it is vital to being a good parent and a good person.  I have realized that saying “no” is a huge part of creating the time I need to give back to myself.  Saying “no” is actually saying “yes” to me and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!!    

The least challenging part of motherhood is the feeling of love and joy that comes with having two little lives join my husband and I.  It seems that the love just grows each day that they exist!

3)  How has becoming a Mother changed you?

  I have found out who I am in being a mother.  I have discovered what makes me tick, what is important to me, and discovered my priorities.  Once I did that, everything else became easier and calmer.  Nothing is as important to me as my family.  I have more inner peace now and take better care of myself as a result.  Because of this, I am in better shape than I was before I had children.

4) In your opinion, what aspect of Motherhood should be most celebrated?

 I am not exactly sure how to put this, but I strongly feel that mothers should be “mothered” more in this country than they are now.  There is so much attention given to the expectant mother, but once the baby arrives, the focus is centered on the infant and the mother is lost in the shuffle.  I feel that mothering the new mother is extremely important and not done routinely enough!  New mothers should be celebrated and focused on more so than they are.  By all means come over and visit the baby, but don’t come without having a casserole in hand and be willing to chip in to do a load of laundry (or two) at the very least.  Don’t expect to have the new mother wait on you, wait on her!  It takes a full year for a new mother to recover from pregnancy, so there is a valid reason for giving a new mother TLC!

5) What led you to become involved with PSI?

The Yates family tragedy occurred when my daughter was only 3 months old.  When the media (incorrectly) called it postpartum depression, I was totally freaked out and feared that I would possibly do the same thing, so I felt compelled to go online and search for answers.   I went to the ABC News Message board. There I learned what PPD was. I realized that this kind of thing would continue to happen unless somebody did something to change it. I realized that I was going to be that somebody. I had to do something to prevent things like this from ever happening again… I had to at least try. For those children and those mothers…I had to try.

Women I have met ONLINE taught me about links, URLs, spam, Google, how to research, and much more. Women who survived PPP (Postpartum Psychosis) were able to clearly show me the differences between sanity and insanity in regards to psychotic behavior. We, in turn, tried to educate others who came to the ABC News Message board searching for answers.

While researching, I found the PSI website. With the encouragement and help of Tonya Rosenberg, who strongly endorsed PSI as a force for change, I joined PSI.

 6) What do you do to spoil yourself when you have time away from the kids?

Lots of things!  I take long bubble baths, go out to dinner with my husband, exercise, talk on the phone, read, nap, eat great food, write, play my guitar, cuddle with my doggie, watch my favorite shows on TV (I have TV recorded), giggle with my hubby in bed, and when things are rough, allow  myself to have a good cry.  The best thing I’ve learned to do is to hug myself when I’m stressed instead of beating myself up.

7) What activity refreshes you the most when you’ve had a rough day?

 A combination of exercise, a shower, and either listening to music or playing my guitar.

8 ) How did you come to work with the Online Postpartum Support Page?

After a few weeks, ABC news shut down the Yates discussion; so in July of 2001, I created the Yahoo! Postpartum Mental Illnesses Group.  Tonya Rosenberg (The founder of the Online Postpartum Support Page) came to my Yahoo group, introduced herself to me, and invited me to check out her group in 2001.   

9) Any advice for other women who want to pay their experience forward and help women with PPD?

That is so easy!!  Go online and join PSI, other online PPD support websites, and start supporting other women.  Model the best that women can be by taking care of yourself and your family!!  Think globally and act locally!!

10)  If there was one piece of advice you could give to an expectant mother (new or experienced), what would it be and why would this be important for her to hear?

Educate yourself on the subject of YOUR BODY & HOW IT BEST FUNCTIONS thru the various ages and stages of life!  We know more about how to program our VCRs than we do our own bodies and that is simply to our own personal detriment.  Ignorance is NOT bliss, my friends.  In my own humble local library there are now tons of books on the subject of postpartum depression and women’s moods/hormones and bodies, so there is plenty of free information out there now!  Also, please PLEASE do not hesitate to ask for and expect HELP!

 

Precious Moments

You know those moments – the ones where one second your little one looks well, like a baby. And in the next nanosecond, they’re suddenly much older and wiser? I had one of those moments with Charlotte today and it (as it always does) caught me so off guard. Do they really HAVE to grow up? I mean, yeah, I want them to but then part of me wants them to stay sweet and innocent forever. But if they did that — I’d never get enough sleep. Ever again.

So yes.

They MUST grow up.

And hopefully they’ll grow up to be the best darn humans they can be! 😉

Petition in Support of the MOTHER’S Act

Yes, we had a blog day.

Yes, we’ve called our Senators, written them, and speak out daily about the NEED for improved care for women just like us.

BUT… we’re not being heard. Instead, the voices of those who would argue that the MOTHER’S Act will force new mothers to take medication and submit to screening are the ones being heard. The MOTHER’S Act will not force medication on anyone – what it will do is provide the opportunity for every mother to have access to treatment for a PMD if she has one. The method of treatment is up to the mother and her physician (and frankly, if my physician wasn’t on the same page as I was or at least willing to back up his reasoning with some pretty strong fact, I’d find another physician!) and drugs may not be the best route for every mother – but EVERY MOTHER WHO SUFFERS DESERVES ACCESS TO TREATMENT.

Please sign the petition from the Depression & Bipolar Support Alliance in support of the MOTHER’S Act.

It’s urgent that your voice be heard NOW.

Sharing the Journey with Arlene Pellicane

Arlene is a co-blogger with Sue McRoberts at Totally New Moms. Today I am posting her interview. She is passionate, strong, and truly carries a desire to help others take the best care of the body God gave them the best way possible.

Arlene Pellicane

1)  When did you become a Christian and what has helped to solidify or sustain your faith over the years?

I grew up going to Catholic church, but when I was in elementary school, my family started going to a Assembly of God church.  I accepted Christ as my personal Savior around 6th grade.  I remember feeling the love of God whenever I walked into the church as a child. 
 
2) What do you find to be most challenging about Motherhood? The least?

Rearranging schedules around naptimes.  Yes, I’m the parent who says, “I’m sorry.  That time won’t work because my baby will be napping.”  I’d like to be more flexible but it’s just no fun being out with a cranky baby!  And long plane rides – yikes!  The least challenging is reading stories and having fun with my kids.   

(My note – I do the SAME thing – if it’s nap time, it’s not happening! Naps are not sacrificed unless it’s an absolute emergency!)

3) How has becoming a Mother changed you?

Has it strengthened your faith in God?

Being a mom has been the greatest joy of my life.  We had trouble conceiving, so when we had our first child Ethan, he was our miracle.  Then we lost a baby girl at 26 weeks and that really taught me to trust in the Lord with all my heart.  On what would have been our baby’s due date, I found out I was pregnant again.  We rejoice in God’s blessing and healing touch in our lives.  My children have taught me so much.  Motherhood certainly puts your patience and strength to the test. 
 
4) In your opinion, what aspect of Motherhood should be most celebrated?

Celebrate the honor and privilege of training a child for life.  Before having children, people would say sarcastically, “Oh, your life will never be the same” – as in, enjoy your life now because you’re going to hate the next 18 years.  That is what Zig Ziglar might call, “stinking thinking!”  We didn’t want to hear those kind of remarks.  Yes, motherhood has changed my life forever – for the better! 
 
5) I viewed an online video piece in which you spoke about your daughter, Angel Rose and was impressed by the strength with which you told your story. Is there any advice from your experience you would share with other mothers who one day may face a similar situation?

When difficulties enter your life, walk through those dark days with an open hand and heart towards God.  Cry out to Him to strengthen and comfort you and He will.  On the contrary, if you clench your fist and say, “Why did you allow this to happen to me?” it hardens your heart and slows down the healing process.  There’s a song by Steven Curtis Chapman titled “Miracle of the Moment” that says, “And if it brings you tears, then taste them as they fall, let them soften your heart.”  When you allow the sorrows of life to soften your heart, you will someday look back upon that sorrow with a sweetness that can only come through Christ. 
 
6) What do you do to spoil yourself when you have time away from the kids?

Go to the outlet mall.  I love shopping for bargains and it’s hard to really look through those sales racks and try on clothes with a baby and toddler.  Or watch a chick flick like Sense and Sensibility.   
 
7) What is your number one not-so-healthy food to spend your calories on?

Ice cream!  At our local grocery store, you can buy 2 gallons for $6 – that spells trouble!  We do this on special occasions like birthdays, usually choosing Cookies and Cream and Chocolate Moose Tracks which is chocolate ice cream with chocolate chunks and fudge.  I am a sucker for chocolate!
 
8) When did your website, Losing Weight After Baby begin to take shape?

I’ve always wanted to write a book but wasn’t sure what the book would be about.  After having 3 pregnancies in 3 years in my 30s, my friends were asking how I got back into shape.  I began to journal about it and the idea for the book was born, Losing Weight After Baby: 31 Days to a New You.  The book is made up of 31 daily readings that any busy mom can read to get motivated and encouraged about shedding those pregnancy pounds.  The website was born out of the book which hopefully will published in the next year or so. 
 
The website http://www.losingweightafterbaby.com features more than 60 articles and a free weekly podcast, Losing Weight After Baby.  Soon, I’ll be adding will be free videos and mini eBooks in the online store. 
 
 
9) How did the idea for your joint blog, Totally New Moms with Sue McRoberts and Rebecca Ingram Powell come to fruition?

I saw Rebecca’s book, Baby Boot Camp, and I wanted to know more about her experience with getting it published.  I emailed her with a few questions.  She kindly responded and it was a God connection!  She and Sue have been so terrific to blog with. 
 
10)  If there was one piece of advice you could give to an expectant mother (new or experienced), what would it be and why would this be important for her to hear?

Champion your children and expect the very best from them.  Give your children a good name to live up to.  Let your children overhear you saying things like, “I am so proud of my son.  He is learning how to share,” instead of “My son is driving me crazy!”  They will rise to your level of expectation. 

On Speaking with Katherine Stone & D. Jeffrey Newport

Today I was a panelist along with Katherine Stone at a Community Lunch and Learn sponsored by Mental Health America and Skyland Trails of Atlanta.

Dr. Jeffrey Newport was the keynote speaker while Katherine and I both shared with attendees our story and how we had been moved to share with others about our experience. Katherine was wonderful and I thoroughly enjoyed meeting her. (Look for an upcoming interview soon!) Dr. Jeffrey Newport was also terrific and is a great speaker – wonderful sense of humour and very down to earth. His presentation was terrific and once I have a chance to read over and edit my scribbled notes into something coherent, I will certainly be sharing some of them with you!

We had several attendees thank us for sharing our stories afterwards, including a woman recently diagnosed with PPD. That alone made the journey worth it. To be able to reach out not only to women who are currently suffering but to also provide a personal insight to those in the field who are directly dealing with this disorder is an amazing and powerful opportunity. I sincerely look forward to not only continuing with my current work but to being able to have additional opportunities like the one today. God has truly blessed me and I am very thankful!

(Oh, and I also enjoyed having the day off from kiddie-care too! I was gone from about 9a-4p today. Oh the heaven! LOL)