10. Listening to a baby scream can become your new pet peeve.

9. If you breastfeed, your sweet innocent baby will eventually bite. And that hurts.

8. Sleep will become a distant dream. And most likely interrupted by your infant screaming or your toddler trying to put a PB&J sandwich in the DVD player.

7. You will no longer have privacy when you go to the bathroom. No, you will have the pleasure of someone always there, watching you do your “business”. (And eventually, your toddler may cheer for you when you DO go!)

6. Poop smeared on walls is not funny especially if it’s your kid and YOU have to clean it up.

5. One single parenting book will never apply completely to YOUR kid.

4. If you’re not good at quick thinking, you have until your kid starts talking to perfect the art. Once the questions start, they don’t ever stop.

3. You think strangers touching your belly was rough? Wait until they start oohing and ahhhing over the baby and POKING. (and yes, they will do this even if the baby is asleep!)

2. Unsolicited advice will be received almost every single time you’re in public. There’s nothing you can do to stop the stream of suggestions either. I suggest practicing retorts at home. Even if you don’t use them, it’s a good way to release!

1. Speaking of release, the last but final thing no one tells you is that once you become  a parent, your biggest decision of the week will be whether or not to jump on the saddle for a wild ride or under the covers for a good snooze.

Most women who have been pregnant are familiar with the vivid dreams that come along as part of the territory. The first time I had a vivid dream, it scared me quite a bit. Now, I’ve learned to expect them but they still surprise me occasionally. Last night was one of those nights. I can’t even tell you what the dream was about because it was so jumbled… but it was a WEIRD one, I can tell you that much. I woke up in the middle of the dream and realized I really did have to go to the bathroom. At least I woke up, right??

I have been physically sore the past few days – my upper back, neck, and shoulders have all been killing me. I worked my butt off this past weekend cleaning the house and I think I overworked myself. I’m also horribly out of alignment in the pelvic area and can’t quite get it to re-align.  I have PT on Monday – you better BELIEVE I’m looking forward to that. And normally I would take a hot bath, but um, the high temps here in GA have been in the low 100’s and our back porch (where the bathroom is) has no AC. I think a hot bath back there might do more damage than good to my already ravaged pregnant body. (And just an FYI,  it’s nearly 10a here and already 86 degrees)

On a funny note, Alli stood and shouted at my stomach this morning … “GOOD MORNING CAMERON!” I laughed.

And upon being licked by the dog, she promptly wiped it off and said, “Dog spit! GROSS!” I laughed again.

Charlotte was full of kisses this morning and has officially learned the sign for “Thank you” and used it whenever I would put her sippy cup back down on the tray. She sits in my lap when she eats her meals. It’s my way of bonding with her because we weren’t able to bond via breastfeeding. Her EI therapist comes today and I’m looking forward to the visit, if for no other reason than to tell her that Charlotte now has two signs! It does get frustrating to not really have her talking yet but she is great at communicating her needs. If only she could learn words! Still, she is doing things in her time, and I have certainly learned the meaning of patience from her.