Monthly Archives: December 2010

Whatever Wednesday: The Soapbox that Couldn’t

If you’re fragile, please refrain from clicking the links in this post. Heck, avoid this post altogether.

Here’s some holiday cheer for you instead:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7E-47VmFopE]

For the rest of you hanging around, on we go.

I tweeted yesterday about getting on my soap box today about a tough topic.

Gung ho, I started to blog. I had visions of a terrific blog and then… then… I realized that what I was writing made me no better than the people about whom I wrote. So I stopped. I lost inspiration and I let it go.

But I promised a blog post. So here I am, blogging, about what I did not blog about yesterday.

You see, what I had planned to blog about was Liberty University‘s ever so brilliant cover of Antoine Dodson’s Bed Intruder Song. Someone in my Twitter feed posted a link to the video the other day. The official Liberty University You Tube Channel is carrying this video and the official Liberty University Twitter account is promoting it. Chancellor Falwell Jr. stated in a Liberty University press release that this video proves that even Christians have a sense of humor.

Here’s the video in question:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMB10wwmWrU]

Now, I’m a Christian through and through. I laugh at some pretty twisted stuff, watch stuff I probably should not watch as a Christian, and I know I say things I should not say as a Christian. I am human. I am flawed. I am sinful in nature. And thankful for God’s grace. That said, I do not purposely go out and try to commit sin then expect to be forgiven even though I know it comes with the territory. No, I try to be the best me I can be and sometimes, at my best, that’s imperfect. But that’s okay because God loves me regardless.

That said, as a Christian, I draw the line at laughing and finding humor in another human being’s tragedy or harm.

Yet this is PRECISELY the line Liberty University has crossed. I think it’s highly inappropriate. But again, that’s just me. I am not the one to whom they will answer. All of us have a different perception. You may find this hilarious. It is indeed witty and entertaining. However; in my opinion, not at all appropriate for a Christian University regardless of their omission of the word Rape from the performance. Last time I checked, Attempted Sexual Assault was no laughing matter. Also? We teach our kids that dumb is a bad word. We should never call anyone dumb nor should they allow themselves to be called Dumb. Yet – well, the performance speaks for itself. As does the news post at Liberty’s own website.

Perhaps Chancellor Falwell, Jr., would also like to send this card to Antoine Dodson’s sister? After all, we Christians do need to show that we have a “Sense of humor,” right?

(Oh and by the way? Etsy is TOTALLY okay with that card being for sale at their site. See here)

On the tenth day of Dismissmas: Ten Women All Buttoned Up

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On the tenth day of Dismissmas,

Postpartum sent to me

Ten women all buttoned up,

Nine ladies grinning,

Eight maids no longer nursing,

Seven sins a-lurking,

Six women a-denying,

Five hours of sleep,

Four Just Snap out of Its,

Three perfect babies,

Two depressed parents,

And a wailing mess in a pear tree.

Imagine you have just received a package from the UPS guy. You eagerly open the box only to find another wrapped box inside. You tear into the wrapping paper, discarding it as you excitedly strain to see what’s inside.

Let’s say it’s a really awesome doll which comes pre-programmed to say anything you want it to say in your own voice. You’ve ordered it for your child. As you push the button to record, everything seems to be in order. But when you press the replay button, silence. So you press it again. Nothing. What the ….

You press it again. Hold it longer. You can feel your frustration rising.

Why won’t the damned thing talk?

Talk, dammit! That’s what you’re supposed to do! Talk! Just like me!

You begin to look for the instructions. Maybe the doll has to be standing on just her left foot with her right arm touching her nose in order to talk. Yeah, maybe .. Umm.. no.

Still silence.

You change the batteries.

Nothing.

You find the number for the company to call for help.

Should you call? What will they say? Send it back? But Christmas is the day after the day after tomorrow (holy crap it really is!) and your kid will be irked if he/she doesn’t have the ONE thing under the tree they really wanted. So you’re stuck.

With a doll you can’t tell you what’s going wrong. She’s gone silent on you and you? You are ready to slam your head into a brick wall.

Ladies? Gentlemen?

THAT? Is how your significant other feels when you answer “How are you doing?” with the word “fine” when things are so very obviously NOT FINE.

Silence serves no one.

Silence hurts you. It hurts them. It heals nothing.

Break the silence. Recover. There is no shame in recovery.

My Postpartum Voice named one of Psych Central’s 2010 Top 10 Depression Blogs

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If you heard loud shrieking this morning, that was me.

I apologize.

When I began this blog, the purpose was nothing more than to reframe an unexpected pregnancy after two episodes of Postpartum OCD, depression, and a side of PTSD for kicks. (What can I say, I like to live on the edge!)

I had no inkling that three years later I would still be blogging. To be completely honest, I had no idea I would even blog the entire pregnancy. I am horrible at journaling. But clearly great at blogging.

To be named in the Top 10 Postpartum Depression Writers at Katherine Stone’s Postpartum Progress rocked my world enough just a few weeks ago.

And then I find out that my blog has been named one of the Top 10 Depression Blogs over at PsychCentral? Whoa.

This award is received in company with Katherine, @Abeeliever (who, by the way, moderates #mhsm chats quite often on Twitter and totally rocks it), Dr. Deborah Serani, and Dr. David Mrazek over at the Mayo Clinic Depression Blog and a few other awesome bloggers who are constantly sharing themselves, research, and providing outreach for those who are struggling with depression on a daily basis.

A HUGE Thank You to PsychCentral, my readers, and especially to my husband and family who put up with my blogging on a daily basis.

I am so very honored to be a part of this list.

2010 has been awesome.

But you know what? 2011 is gonna be even better.

Just Talking Tuesday: On PPD, Work, & Motherhood

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This week’s #PPDChat focused on PPD, work, & Motherhood.

Turns out it was quite the hot topic as both chats were very lively.

Guilt was a primary theme. Seems that nasty Guilt monster has infused himself into every aspect of Postpartum Depression. I hate that little bastard. I know you do too.

Guilt for leaving your children behind. Guilt for not wanting to be a stay at home mom. Guilt for not trusting others to care for your child so you could work.

And jealous guilt when your significant other did the lions share of the childcare because you were at work.

Like I said, I hate that little bastard.

One of the biggest issues I saw come up was that if, as an American, you may use up your Maternity Leave before baby even gets here. Then you’re forced to go back to work. Or, as was pointed out by another chatter, What if you’re the only one who can perform your job and it’s required you be there? Yup. No Maternity leave. FMLA? GREAT in theory. But crappy in execution because honestly – who can really afford to take 12 weeks off without pay? And if the company you work for has less than 50 employees? Screwed because they’re not beholden to FMLA.

One mom made an excellent point to consider when decided whether or not to disclose your diagnosis to your boss. She suggests you disclose ASAP so that all your appointments, etc, are covered by ADA. I would strongly recommend this avenue of protection. Especially if you are concerned about losing your job over required therapy appointments.

Don’t even get me started about Pumping Breastmilk at work. Oy. That needs to be a chat unto itself!

Some folks made it late to last night’s chat so I’m blogging the same topic today in order to give those who were unable to make the chat a forum in which to share, ask, and offer advice to other working moms also struggling with Postpartum Depression.

I hope several of you will comment. I am not a working mom. I worked before the kids and am looking to rejoin the work force (slowly) as I am finally in a space where I can handle the added responsibilities. I’m both excited and nervous. There is one thing I do know though, when I do return to work, it will absolutely have something to do with helping Postpartum families. Anything else would just suck. I am so not interested in going back to mediocrity and frustration. THIS is what I am meant to do with my life.

So… let’s get to Just Talkin!

Need to vent about work? Have a story to share? Did you share your diagnosis? Yes? No? Why? Why not? How did the Guilt monster attack you? Have any advice for working moms struggling with PPD? Share it all right here!

On the Ninth Day of Dismissmas: Nine ladies grinning

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On the ninth day of Dismissmas,

my true love sent to me

Nine ladies grinning,

Eight maids no longer nursing,

Seven sins a-lurking,

Six women a-denying,

Five hours of sleep,

Four Just Snap out of Its,

Three perfect babies,

Two depressed parents,

And a wailing mess in a pear tree.

Her skin is flawless, make-up covering any flaws, her clothes are ironed and pressed, her over-coat perfectly matches her shoes, her nails do too. Every strand of her hair is in it’s place and as you stare at her, you imagine everything in her home is in the right place as well. The stroller she pushes glows as if Angels themselves were guiding it along. She does not walk. She floats. In and out of your day dreams as you struggle to keep your own infant quietly in the stroller, your hair from slipping out of the 435th ponytail holder you’ve gone through this month because your two year old keeps flushing them down the toilet, and your yoga pants no longer pass as dress pants because they have been perma-stained with strained peaches. And make-up? HAH. Smeared Strawberry and black crayon streaks is more your speed these days.

What you DON’T see is that she swung by the pharmacy before she left the store. To pick up her anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medication. It’s tucked away deep in her designer diaper bag. In the zipper pouch so it won’t accidentally fall out. That perfected look? Possibly a result of aforementioned depression, anxiety, or even OCD. She’s a broken soul tucked away deep in the zippered pocket of a designer bag. On the outside it looks perfect but on the inside – Oh, on the inside – the seams are pulling out, the fabric has worn thin, and it’s on the verge of collapsing.

My point?

Looks are deceiving.

Just because a woman is smiling on the outside does not mean she is smiling on the inside. Don’t ever assume that a pulled-together woman is happy. She may feel EXACTLY LIKE YOU.