The tree leans under the weight of it’s bounty
A burden so sweet
Tethered to it’s pillars of strength
Six years ago this month found me struggling to find help for my first episode of Postpartum OCD. I came across Katherine’s site shortly after she started it as the only sources of help I ended up with were virtual. I found the Online Postpartum Page and the iVillage boards to be helpful as well. But never did I think I would end up a blogger like Katherine. Heck, back then I had no idea what a blog was, to be completely honest. (Oh, how the times have changed!)
I went back and read Katherine’s first post. Her goal? That Postpartum Progress help in some small way.
In her birthday post this past week, she writes:
I have now spent six years with postpartum depression, figuratively speaking. Six years writing about every aspect I can think of.
And I love it.
Thank you for reading. I hope it can continue to help women who seek answers and support.
I, for one, cannot WAIT to see what the next six years bring for Katherine.
And Katherine – you have done SO much more than just help in a small way. Your contribution has been tremendous. Because of you, women are bravely voicing their experience with Postpartum Mood Disorders (myself included). Because of you, more and more are aware of Postpartum Mood Disorders. Because of you – there is hope. Thank you.
I know it’s Wednesday. And I know I usually do a fluff post. But today I’m pissed. It’s been a tough day. One thing after another seems to be headed in the wrong direction. So I went for a drive in the sunshine, AC up high, music on blast (until I drove out into the boonies and lost cell signal which meant no more Pandora until I rediscovered civilization.) I returned home refreshed and in need of chocolate. Then hubs took the girls out, Cameron is still in bed, so I’m sitting here on my laptop, tweeting, reading, watching videos, just hanging out.
Well, this past Monday he and his wife went to a clinic.
You see, their baby, at 15 weeks along, was diagnosed with Sirenomelia or Mermaid’s Syndrome. There’s a 1 in 100,000 occurrence of this particular syndrome. Their baby’s case was terminal and they faced a decision, one NO parent should ever have to face. Aaron & MJ moved forward with a decision to terminate the pregnancy, their hearts breaking and mourning this very loved little life ending much too early.
As they drove up to the clinic, protesters with signs welcomed them. People who screamed horrible things at them. People convinced they were making a difference in this world.
All they achieved was to make this world an uglier, darker place for two very hurting people in the midst of their own private hell.
Because they judge every single person walking through the doors of that clinic the SAME EXACT WAY.
We can’t do that. We just cannot do that at all.
Everybody is different. We are all wired differently, we have different circumstances, levels of support, education, understanding, choices, etc. Not everyone who walks through the front door of a clinic at which they perform abortions is someone unprepared to take responsibility for the life which they have created with another human being. And even if they are – abortion is a tough thing to handle emotionally, regardless of the reason behind the procedure. Studies show women who have had an abortion are already at a higher risk for depression than women who have not. Let’s compound that with a mother facing the stillbirth of a wanted and LOVED child who is dying inside of her and add another layer of the trauma of protesters screaming at her as her heart breaks into a thousand pieces while she walks through those doors, shall we? It’s enough to make ME want to have words with the protesters.
Want to know the best way to change people’s minds and hearts?
It’s a huge secret.
I don’t know if I should tell you.
One which Jesus himself exemplified for us so many years ago.
Really – when Jesus was hanging out with the immoral sinners – the thieves, the bandits, the dregs of society – do you think he made up protest signs and stood outside the local bar? Nope. He just walked in and loved on them. Didn’t judge them, just plopped down next to them and started to listen to them talk. Occasionally, He talked back. But mostly He listened.
Try it some time.
The results might just shock you.
But as for Aaron and his wife, he went outside and talked to the protesters after she was called back into surgery. (link to his blog post about the experience. He includes video of the confrontation.)
He handled himself very well.
As for the protesters – beyond “I’m sorry, we didn’t know,” they did not have much of a leg to stand on despite their repeated attempts to find one.
You go, Aaron. Well said, well said indeed.
Everyone has bad days. But when you’re depressed, a whole bunch of bad days get strung together. Then you start to heal. And then WHAM. A bad day pops up out of nowhere. It’s not quite relapse but it sucks nonetheless. Even those of us who are recovered still have sucky days. We may be recovered but we are far from perfect. Far far far from perfect.
I know typically this is a longer post but frankly, it’s been a rough day here and I’m about to fall asleep. I spent the better part of the morning at the pediatrician and lab with my 6 year old daughter. We’re now waiting to see if she develops a rash to determine a diagnosis. I’m praying the rash doesn’t show up and the symptoms are just an unlucky combination. Somehow I’ve managed to hold it together and I totally credit the hell I went through with Postpartum Depression for allowing me to make it through this day intact. Exhausted, but intact.
I looked forward to sitting down on the couch and just vegging out tonight, listening to some music, and hanging with the ladies over at #PPDChat on Twitter. I needed it tonight.
What are some things you do to help yourself get through a tough day? Have you learned your triggers yet? Are you able to cut it off before it gets going? (If you’re not, that’s okay – everyone is at different stages of recovery!) What gets you to calm down?
Let’s get to just talking ladies!