It’s been a rough year.

Can I say that again?

It’s been a rough year.

One more time –

It’s been a rough year.

And here I sit, on the last day of it, sick, tired, and trying not to worry about the future.

I’m worn out. Slap worn out. But amazingly enough, still hopeful, still laughing, and still smiling.

I know I should focus on the positive. Focus on the gifts of my renewed faith, my renewed strength in God’s power and plan for my life. I’m trying. Really, I am.

It’s been a good year for my PPD work –

• This blog has had nearly 20,000 hits since May
• The PPD Dads Project has over 1,000 hits and has only been in offical existence for 26 days now.
• An interview at 5 minutes for mom.
• Lots of interviews here!
• There’s been the development of a statewide initiative here in GA
• Several local connections made, one of which has netted me two interns to help overhaul my support meetings!
• I’ve really had a blast working over at iVillage as the CL of the Postpartum Depression Board and thank God I am able to provide support in that way too.
• I’ve provided support for at least 1 woman/family each day this past year (that I know of). That’s a minimum of 365 families. Wow.
• Chat at Pampered, Pregger & Beyond

Personally it’s been a rough year but I’ve struggled to focus on the positives instead of the negatives. I know if I focused on the negatives, I would be swept away into the deep dark depths of the sea of sorrow forever.

My car accident taught me we can never know what is coming our way and that the protection we thought we had here in the world may not be there at all. There is only one way protection and safe place in which to rest – on Him. He will never fail.

My probation as a result of my car accident taught me that if you do truly lean on Him, He will bring compassion to those around you and allow the repentant nature of your soul to be revealed to them. He will humble you.

Alli’s diagnosis with ADHD has shown me that we need to be understanding of others and patient with them no matter what. We are all beautiful no matter what because HE made us.

And more recently, my husband’s job loss has taught me that even when things seem irreparably damaged, there is hope as long as both parties are willing to work towards the same goal with the same fervrent dedication.

So while I am not ending the year on a high note, I have truly learned some valuable lessons this year. Lessons that have allowed me to grow by leaps and bounds and have carved a new me. Just as I have in the past, I intend on pulling myself up by my bootstraps (yes, I KNOW that’s a cliche!) and wading into whatever 2009 has to offer. Serve it up, baby. I’ve got God on my side.