Tag Archives: postpartum depression

Sharing the Journey with Mary Jo Codey

As those of you who are familiar with Postpartum Advocacy know, Mary Jo has worked tirelessly to increase awareness and education of those around her. In fact, along with her husband, former NJ Governor Ritchie Codey, Mary Jo aided in passing New Jersey’s state-wide legislation for Postpartum Mood Disorder Screening education and screening. She also strongly advocates for the passage of The MOTHER’S Act, a bill that will increase funding for research, education, and awareness of Postpartum Mood Disorders here in the United States. Mary Jo has graciously agreed to Share her Journey today with the hopes of increasing signatures to the Perinatal Pro list as well as calls to the Senate H.E.L.P. Committee.

I sincerely hope her words will help spur you into action. Let me put it this way. If you know ten mothers, at least eight of them have experienced the Baby Blues. Two of them have experienced full-blown Postpartum Depression. And these are only the ones we know about. How many other mothers have suffered in silence? Help them break the silence. Let them know you are on their side. As New Jersey’s campaign says – “Speak Up when you’re Down!”


88_mary_joTell us a little bit about yourself. Who is Mary Jo Codey when she’s not passionately speaking out about Postpartum Mood Disorders?

I’m a teacher at the Gregory Elementary School in West Orange NJ. I love spending time with the children, watching them grow and flourish, and to instill a good self concept about themselves so they can take with them and utilize throughout their lives. When I’m not teaching I love to spend time with my husband Ritchie and my two boy’s, Kevin and Christopher. I also enjoy gardening, playing golf and eating chocolate with my dear friend Sylvia!

In 1984, after the birth of your first son, you began to experience some very frightening thoughts and moods. Would you share with us what you went through?

After the birth of my first child, Kevin, I had terrifying thoughts about hurting him. I had intrusive thoughts about smothering and drowning him. Those scary thoughts raced in my mind over and over throughout the day and night. It caused me such a great deal of pain and shame.

After the birth of your second son, with the aid of medication, you were able to have a “normal” experience. Describe the differences. At any point during this second postpartum period, did you find yourself upset about having missed out on your first son’s infancy?

With the birth of my first son Kevin, I had no idea what postpartum depression was. I never even heard those words before. I couldn’t even get out of my bed to visit the nursery to see or feed him.

With the birth of my second son Christopher, I was immediately put on medication which were extremely effective. I was elated that I could care for him and take care of him. I did however feel cheated by postpartum depression with my first child. At times I mourned and felt guilt for missing the first years with Kevin. I remember reporters coming to my home to do a story on me and I was asked if I had any pictures of Kevin. I was ashamed that I could not provide them with one picture of him.

When you first talked with your sons about Postpartum Mood Disorders, what did you tell them? How have they handled knowing about your experience?

I started to talk to my boys about my experience with postpartum depression at a very young age. I made sure that they understood that, it wasn’t their fault and that I loved them more than they could ever imagine. I explained to them that I was sick at the time. I also told them that they were the two greatest gifts that God had given me. They’ve handled it remarkably well.
New Jersey is the first state to enact legislation for Postpartum Mood Disorder screening and education. How did this law come about and what was your involvement in it’s development?

The minute Ritchie became Acting Governor for New Jersey the first item on our agenda was postpartum depression. Which led to “Speak Up When You’re Down.” It encourages women and their families to talk openly with each other and with their health-care provider if they are feeling depressed after the birth of their child. It also provides a 24/7 PPD Help line and postpartum depression information and resources; 1-888-404-7763.

Name three things that made you laugh today.

Watching my friend Phyllis come out of her home with 5 dog’s on leashes and luggage as we were leaving for the airport!

Trying to get on a large tube for “The Rapid River Ride.” After numerous failed attempts trying to get myself positioned on the tube, a stranger approached me and shoved me on the tube finally! He said that he couldn’t stand watching me struggle anymore…well it finally worked!

Calling my friend Sylvia and listening her imitate her Sicilian mother on the phone. Every time she imitates her mom it literally slays me!! It leaves me in stitches!

Senator Robert Menendez, NJ, introduced The MOTHER’S Act earlier this year to Congress. Share with us what this bill would do for women and families.

This bill is so very crucial for all women and families suffering with postpartum depression. It will help provide support services to women suffering from postpartum depression and psychosis and will also help educate mothers and their families about these conditions. In addition, it will support research into the causes, diagnoses and treatments for postpartum depression and psychosis.

Stigma plays a large role in women not reporting symptoms of Postpartum Mood Disorders. What can we do to overcome this stigma and replace it with acceptance and compassion?

Having women share their experience with postpartum depression, rather than keeping it to themselves is very important. To not be ashamed or afraid to speak up to their family members, health providers and women’s groups when they are grappling with postpartum depression. This will help replace the stigma of postpartum depression with acceptance and compassion.

How did your husband handle the changes your struggle with Postpartum Mood Disorder brought into the home? What can new dads do to support their wives as they fight to move back to “normal”?

At first my husband Ritchie blamed himself for what I was going through. He thought it was because he didn’t pay much attention to me because he was too involved with sports. He couldn’t understand what and why I was going through this. He was angry that I asked him to find another wife when I went to the hospital because I believed that I wasn’t going to get better. He never gave up on me! He stayed with me and understood that postpartum was an illness that we were going to overcome as a family. He never stopped praying. New dads need to be supportive and understanding towards their wife who is suffering with postpartum depression. Most importantly, they need to be patient and compassionate.

Last but not least, if you had the opportunity to give an expectant mother (new or experienced) just one piece of advice about Postpartum Mood Disorders, what would you tell her?

Women suffering with postpartum depression need to know that they are GREAT MOTHER’S! Do not worry about not being able to bond with your baby, it will happen. First you need to get well. Most importantly please, please, please don’t be afraid to reach out for help.

Sharing the Journey with Jamie

Meet Jamie. She’s due in June with her second child. Her first brush with Postpartum Depression started during her pregnancy. Jamie felt depressed, upset and confused. Not feeling ready to be a parent, she even felt resentful when the baby moved. She even cried at her first ultrasound – proof that she was indeed pregnant.

Things went from difficult to worse after her first daughter was born. Jamie “cried constantly, was moody, and felt worthless and suicidal at times.” She finally sought help at six months postpartum. It took some time but Jamie was able to deal with the ups and downs of motherhood without wanting to pack her bags and run.

And now, I’m excited to let Jamie speak about her experience in her words. By the way, Jamie blogs too. She found me via 5 Minutes for Mom’s Ultimate Blog Party. You can keep up with her at Melody of a Mom.

Tell us a little about yourself. What do you do when you’re not being a mother or a wife? What fascinates you?

I was a scrapbooker long before I started having kids. My bookshelves hold probably 15 12×12 completed scrapbooks, four of which are full of pictures from my daughter’s first two years of life. Aside from scrapbooking, I enjoy almost anything that has to do with crafting.

After my daughter goes to bed you can find me reading or writing. I am working on a novel (which I hopefully will complete by the time I’m 30!) and I write songs which I hope to have published someday.

What was your first pregnancy like? Was it what you expected? If not, what happened?

My small amount of knowledge about what pregnancy would be like came from TLC’s A Baby Story and the book “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.” So I guess you could say I had no expectations when my pregnancy started, and I was able to take things as they came.

Postpartum Depression can sneak up on the best of us and knock us flat on our backs. Tell us about your experience.

I would say that my postpartum depression started before I even had my daughter (I call it pre-partum depression). There were intermittent periods of time when the prospect of birthing the baby I was carrying seemed depressing and confining, like some kind of cage I was trapped in. One day I’d be excited about all the pink clothes my baby would wear, and the next day I would wish I wasn’t having a baby at all.

After I had my daughter, the depression was severe and constant. I felt like I wasn’t bonding with her…I knew she had needs and I met those needs, but as far as “falling in love,” that just wasn’t happening.

Much of the time I wanted to pack my bags and leave everything behind. I cried a lot, lashed out at my husband and family, and felt very down.

When did you finally seek treatment for your PPD? What made you realize you needed help?

I knew what I was feeling wasn’t healthy, but it took my dad calling me out before I finally went to a doctor to talk about my PPD. One day, after some incident which I can’t remember, my dad said something to the effect of, “Why are you so negative all the time?” I’m not sure why, but that was the moment I decided to try to get some help.

Name three things that made you laugh today.

My daughter and her friend played “Ring Around the Rosie” over and over and over. When they were done, they were so dizzy they fell down all over again!

My best friend just called me on the phone and called me “Stinky Pete.” She’s random, but she always makes me laugh.

Whenever my daughter catches me looking at my belly in the mirror, she says, “Mommy, you’re pregmint.” That never ceases to make me laugh.

What role did family play in your recovery from PPD?

My husband is incredibly supportive. He picked up my slack when I felt like I couldn’t do what needed to be done for our daughter.

How did your husband handle your journey down PPD lane?

He was great. He never made me feel crazy…he supported me as best as he could even though he didn’t understand what I was going through.

You’re currently pregnant with your second child. Do you think things will be different this time? Why? What are you doing to be pro-active this time around?

As soon as I give birth, I am planning on getting back on the same anti-depressants I was on before I was pregnant. Unfortunately this means I won’t be breast feeding, but it does mean I will be able to function normally during my baby’s first weeks, whereas with my daughter I felt like I was just in a depressed daze.

What do you find the most challenging about motherhood? The least?

The most challenging thing about motherhood is making those daily choices in how/when to discipline and wondering how those choices are going to affect my daughter long term.

The easiest thing about motherhood is loving my child unconditionally. Though it took me longer than most mothers to bond with my baby, she is so special to me now. Nothing she could ever do would change the way I feel about her. It’s the same kind of love that God feels for his children, I believe.

Last but not least, what advice would you give an expectant mother (new or experienced) about PMD’s?

It’s better to ask a doctor if what you’re experiencing is normal than to spend any amount of time detached from your newborn. PPD is hard to deal with, but it is fairly easy to get under control once a mother realizes she needs help.

Devastating Illness needs our attention

The Meadville Tribune published a local opinion column today by Carla J. Behr. In this article, she examines Postpartum Depression’s need for attention. You can read it by clicking here.

My favorite part of the article?

When Carla writes, “There is no room for ignorance because making a difference in the lives of women suffering postpartum depression involves a whole community.”

She is so right.

Letter from Mary Jo Codey in support of the MOTHER’S Act

Here is a letter from Mary Jo Codey supporting the MOTHER’S Act. Susan Stone published this at her blog and you can read the complete post here.

Dear Supporters,

In 2004, when my husband was appointed acting governor for the state of New Jersey, I didn’t have to talk my husband into introducing legislation that would not only help women, but save the lives of women , babies and families suffering with this unforgiving illness called postpartum depression. Richard lived the pain with me. He saw the destruction this illness caused the entire family.

The Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS ACT will ensure that ALL women and their families are educated about postpartum depression. It would also provide research into the causes, diagnoses and treatments for postpartum depression. This bill will tell ALL women that they no longer have to suffer in shame or silence if they are confronted with feelings of depression during and after the birth of their newborn.

Now is the time to join me and help pass this critical legislation. Please show your support and sensitivity towards an issue that is so dear to my heart by adding your name today.

Warmly,

Mary Jo Codey
Former First Lady, State of New Jersey

Please endorse this critical legislation by sending an email to susanstonelcsw@aol.com with your name, state and any credentials or affiliations you have. The list will be sent to every Senator the week of MOTHERS Day.

Congressman Bobby Rush’s Statement about HR 20

Congressman Bobby L. Rush makes a statement on the House Floor about the MSB MOTHER’S Act.

You can also read reactions to the passage of the bill at Coping with Life by Tom Davis and Postpartum Progress by Katherine Stone.

ONTO THE SENATE WE GO! (Have you called your Senator yet?)

Congressman Bobby Rush’s Statement on H. R. 20 the Melanie Blocker Stokes Mom’s Opportunity to Access Health, Education, Research and Support for Postpartum Depression Act of 2009

Monday March 30, 2009

Madame Speaker, today I rise in strong support of the Melanie Blocker Stokes Mom’s Opportunity to Access Health, Education, Research, and Support for Postpartum Depression Act of 2009.

I would like to thank Chairman Waxman, Ranking Member Barton, my colleague Congressman Frank Pallone, and the Members of the Energy and Commerce Committee who unanimously supported this legislation’s passage out of the committee.

After eight long years, today marks an important step forward in the journey for Congress to fully recognize postpartum depression as a national women’s health priority.

This bill comes to the floor today with strong, bipartisan support. No longer will postpartum depression be dismissed as mere “baby blues.”

Madame Speaker, today, 60 to 80 percent of new mothers experience symptoms of baby blues while the more serious condition, postpartum depression, affects up to 20 percent of women who have recently given birth. Experts in the field of women’s health like Susan Stone, Chair of the President’s Advisory Council of Postpartum Support International, says that these statistics do not include mothers whose babies are stillborn, who miscarry, or who are vulnerable to these devastating disorders which raises those at risk into the millions. The most extreme form, postpartum psychosis, is exhibited in about one percent of all new mothers.

At what should be the happiest time in a woman’s life these mood disorders result in feelings of despondency, tearfulness, inadequacy, guilt and fatigue. In the worst case scenario, if left untreated or not treated properly, postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis has resulted in suicide and infanticide. The consequences of untreated maternal depression in the mother range from chronic disability to death of the infant as well as learning and behavioral disabilities that can negatively impact a child’s development.

In light of all these sobering facts, sadly, I was finally compelled to author H.R. 20 in December 2007 after watching the news accounts of the missing Melanie Blocker Stokes. This bright, vibrant woman who loved life was a first time mother, a successful business woman and my constituent. Despite her family’s valiant interventions, Melanie’s psychosis was so severe that she slipped away and ended her life in solitary agony.

As news of her death swept throughout Chicago, I reached out to Melanie’s mother, Carol Blocker, who told me her daughter’s diagnosis and suicide was the result of postpartum psychosis.

And, sometime later, Dr. Nada Stotland of the American Psychiatric Association, also a constituent of mine, also reached out to me. Dr. Stotland detailed the value of additional research and discussed the under-reporting and misdiagnosis of postpartum depression and psychosis in our country.

There is no denying the fact that the need for resources to combat postpartum depression grows more and more each and every year. Here are the facts:

H. R. 20 will finally put significant money and attention into research, screening, treatment and education for mothers suffering from this disease. Research indicates that some form of postpartum depression affects approximately 1 in 1,000 new mothers, or up to 800,000 new cases annually. This data does not include the additional cases of women who may be vulnerable to these illnesses even after they’ve miscarried or who deliver stillborn infants.

Of the new postpartum cases this year, less than 15 percent of mothers will receive treatment and even fewer will receive adequate treatment; however, with treatment over 90 percent of these mothers could overcome their depression.

Every 50 seconds a new mother will begin struggling with the effects of mental illness.

Madame Speaker, these facts are profound and, in the words of Carol Blocker, “…hundreds of thousands of women, who have suffered from postpartum depression and psychosis are still waiting for Congress to act eight years after legislation was first introduced.”

Madame Speaker, thank you for this day because, today, Mrs. Blocker and hundreds of thousands of mothers will not have to wait any longer for Congress to act!

By passage of H.R. 20, today, we will put mother’s first.

When this bill becomes law, my legislation will:

– encourage the Secretary of Health and Human Services to continue: (1) activities on postpartum depression; and (2) research to expand the understanding of the causes of, and treatments for, postpartum conditions

– express the sense of Congress that the Director of the National Institute of Mental Health may conduct a nationally representative longitudinal study of the relative mental health consequences for women of resolving a pregnancy in various ways

– amend the Public Health Service Act to authorize the Secretary to make grants for projects for the establishment, operation, and coordination of effective and cost-efficient systems for the delivery of essential services to individuals with a postpartum condition and their families.

– Direct the Secretary to ensure that such projects provide education and services with respect to the diagnosis and management of postpartum conditions.

Moreover, this bill is an affordable approach to research and services.

This is good policy, good politics and a good public health bill!

Before I close, I’d like to take a moment to remember and honor the hundreds of thousands of women-women who have lost either their ability to “mother” or, in far too many cases, their lives to postpartum depression.

Madame Speaker, this bill, this day and this moment would not be a reality had it not been for a beautiful, young Chicago native, the late Melanie Blocker Stokes, and the valiant effort her husband and her family made to save her lift but to no avail.

And, even though Melanie did not survive her battle with postpartum psychosis, Melanie’s battle and her ultimate sacrifice will never be forgotten because of our efforts, here, today.

I would like to thank Carol Blocker, my friend, constituent and fellow activist, who with grace and dignity found a way for her daughter’s memory to live on.

I would also like to thank all the groups who support this legislation. Groups like, Postpartum Support International, the Family Mental Health Foundation, the American Psychological Association, the American Psychiatric Association and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.

I’d also like to acknowledge the tremendous work of groups like the Children’s Defense Fund, the Melanie Blocker Stokes Foundation, Suicide Prevention Action Network, Planned Parenthood Federation of America, Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance, Mental Health America, NARAL, National Alliance for Mental Illness, Community Behavioral Healthcare, the March of Dimes, The National Association of Social Workers, National Organization for Women and North American Society for Psychosocial Obstetrics and Gynecology.

I thank these groups and various activists for their relentless efforts to address this issue including calling their congressional representatives and mailing or faxing letters in support of H.R. 20. Our work will not be done until this bill is signed by the President. And, the good news is, this time we have a friend and fellow Chicagoan in the White House.
And, finally, let me once again thank the hundreds of thousands of unsung women, and their families, who have battled postpartum depression in silence or isolation, in some form, for far too long. To those women and their families I say, you will never suffer in silence again.

And, with that, I proudly urge my colleagues to vote “yes” on H.R. 20.

Thank you.